Five Love Languages Journal: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate by gary chapman

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

أتوقع إن الست فيروز لما قالت "وهديتني وردة، فرجيتا لصحابي، خبيتا بكتابي، زرعتا عالمخدة" كانت لغة حبها هي تقديم الهدايا، لكن واضح إن حبيبها مش بيتكلم نفس اللغة لأنها هديته مزهرية، كان يداريها ولا يعتني فيها تا ضاعت الهدية، فطبعًا فيروز مكانتش بتحس بحبه ليها بدليل إنها بتقول له "وبتقلّي بتحبني ما بتعرف قديش؟!!

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Noxfire

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

The premise of this best-selling book is quite simple, but many of us haven't tried looking at our marriages this way. In short, people have their own, often unconscious way of expressing love and rarely do two spouses have the same "Love Language." This can cause trouble in a marriage because we may simply not understand the way in which our partner is expressing his or her love, even if s/he is trying really hard to express it and has NO idea we aren't getting it. In turn, s/he may not feel loved if we are "speaking a different language." Thus, we could be struggling for years and still be completely misreading each other.
To my surprise, my husband was actually willing to take the quiz at the end of the book with me, and we have had a FABULOUS few days so far. Just knowing which Love Language is most important to each other can make us happier, and an awful lot less frustrated.
Let's see if he keeps this up (nudge-nudge, wink-wink!).

A couple things that annoyed me: the author is a devout Christian and mentions his beliefs a little more often than I would prefer. And he is more than a trifle sexist. He's convinced that women mainly have sex for emotional reasons whereas men have a stronger physical need. In a word: bullshit. On the men's version of the quiz there is a question about "loving to have sex with my wife", but on the women's version, the wording is changed to "I love cuddling with my husband".
BAH HUMBUG to that! Dr. Chapman, sir, it is the 21st Century. Do you truly think that most women have that hard of a time admitting that they enjoy having sex?!
Poppycock and balderdash and Honey, puh-leeze! Dr. Chapman, I really do feel you, and I cannot tell you how delighted I am that you got my husband's attention, but you just lost yourself a 5-star rating for going on and on about the Gospel of Luke and for being stuck in the Victorian era in terms of gender differences.

In spite of that, I found the book readable, useful and, if my husband's behavior is any indication, very helpful.

**2014 Follow-up:
Still works for me. It helps just knowing that Mr. Gaijinpapa is trying to express love in his own way, which isn't my way, but hey I am me and he is he..so I appreciate his effort and I try to understand his way and do not try to change him. After 23 years, I think romance is all well and good, but marriage is really about patience and being willing to accept each other for who you are..I am still Royally Pissed Off about the Gender and Kinda Fundamentalist Religious stuff. Dr. Chapman, Sir, I maintain that women like to get some! Cuddles are nice too, and guys might be happier and healthier if society would allow them to admit that they too need to cuddle sometimes, but sometimes we ladies want..you know...It and why pretend otherwise?

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Poro75

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

O carte pe care am citit-o cu mare plăcere și foarte ușor, dar care mi-a revoluționat oarecum modul de a privi un mariaj. Aș pune-o în mâna tuturor oamenilor de pe planeta asta și i-aș forța s-o citească, ca să fiu complet sinceră. Cele cinci limbaje ale iubirii de aici nu se aplică numai relațiilor de cuplu, ci mai tuturor relațiilor interumane. De iubit, nu ne iubim doar soțul/soția și atât. Ne iubim membrii familiei, copiii, prietenii, etc. Mi se pare o carte foarte importantă, iar ceea ce o face și mai mișto e faptul că e foarte „citibilă”. Cum ziceam, am citit-o din plăcere și destul de rapid. Mi-a plăcut mult și o recomand mai departe! :)

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Vendfarm

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

الكتاب فعلًا جميل ورائق
رغم انه عن الشركاء الا انه قراءته فعلًا مفيدة لفهم العلاقات كلها
اختلاف طرق التفاهم بين الناس وأولويات التقارب بينهم
لو أنت شخص مهم عندك الوقت وأهلك أو أخوك أو صديقك مهم عنده الهدايا مثلًا هتعرف ليش بينكم درجة كبيرة من عدم التفاهم
الكتاب لطيف وبنصح فيه فعلًا لاستيعاب اختلافات الناس

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Feight_

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

I struggle with rating this book anything more than one star because it is extremely heteronormative, misogynistic, and religiously restrictive. However, I think that these issues are the result of its author, rather than the ideas in the book. The concepts presented in this book, once I shook off their disgusting patriarchal rhetoric, were sound and Truthful. I honestly believe that Chapman discovered a fundamental aspect of love, which is a tremendous feat. When I got to the chapter which talked about my primary love language, I literally burst into tears and could not stop sobbing. For the first time in my life, I understood what love I craved most from the people in my life and, most importantly, I felt validated in that desire, like it was okay to want and ask for those things. I wasn't a freak. I was just speaking a love language that society tells me not to speak. Finishing this book was the first step in my ongoing journey towards transcending this societal expectation.

Here's the truth: I am a young woman, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. In Chapman's book, almost every example of couples shows a woman whose language is Acts of Service and a man whose language is Physical Touch. While the world around me, and even this book, told me that I shouldn't want physical affection as much as I do, the chapter on Physical Touch was like someone reaching out to tell me that it's okay to be who I am. My understanding of myself burst open and I felt like I was given permission to be who I am and love how I love. I am disappointed that so many of Chapman's own biases and clear stereotypes are included in this book, but it still helped me. If this book can help just one more person to accept themselves and ask for love in their primary language, then it is worth it to share my story in this review.

A few words of advice: Supplement this book with additional interpretations online and discussions with your significant other. Not everything Chapman says is good or right, but his theory can possibly open a door to other interpretations which work better for you than the opinions touted in the book.

Recommended, but with reservations.

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Danreis

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

In the years since I originally read this book, my thoughts have often returned to it's content as I notice the preferences of others and I have found it helpful. So now in 2015, an updated review is glowing and I give it 4 stars instead of 3. However, below is my original review:

This is an entertaining, well-written book from the perspective of a therapist who shares interesting stories about his patients and their love problems and solutions.

This book has potential to help people better understand those they love and to show love to them in ways they can feel/understand (I'll suggest a much better book below that does this).

However, I worry that this book would do more harm than good since in it it says that a man's love language may be sex. How twisted is that??? And very dysfunctional! This could cause a wife to "do her duty" instead of viewing sex as a mutual consent action to unify the marriage and strengthen the couple.

Also, another HUGE problem with this book is that it implies that others are supposed to "fill your love bucket." Which is VERY dysfunctional as well. If you desperately NEED someone, that's not love. That's need! A healthy love is where two people are already secure with themselves by themselves (or with the help of God) and then they can give from their already full love buckets freely. It is not the responsibility for others to fill you up! You need to take charge of your own emotional health. Then you can share freely and not be a wiggly, needy scrounge for love.

I suggest reading a much better book that promotes healthy interactions with others. It teaches to give love freely from your full love bucket (and how to get a full love bucket without relying on the actions of others). Although it is not as well written grammatically as this 5 languages, it is the best! It is called: How I got this Way and What to do About it by Dr. Ellsworth. It has an amazing chart in it with a much better breakdown of love languages.

The children's book The Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Silverstein addresses this issue about giving love from your fullness instead of taking love from others or trying to fill in their holes as the 5 love languages promotes.

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Yumni

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

الكتاب جديد في طرحه وموضوعه عن الحب .. رغم بداهة إن طريقة التعبير عن الحب تختلف من شخص لشخص إلا إن الكتاب وضعها في إطارها الصحيح وجعلها في سياق علمي من خلال المقدمة عن (الوقوع في الحب) وفي سياق عملي عن طيق الخاتمة التي اشار فيها إلى نقاط جديرة بالإعتبار، خصوصاً تلك النقطة عن التي يكون فيها الحب قد مات فعلاً

الكتاب رائع فعلاً، وأنصح به للجميع وليس فقط المتزوجين، هو يجعلك تفهم لغات الحب إلى كل الناس

ولأني لم أجد مأ أضيفه للكتاب أوأعلق عليه فيه فإني أعطي الكتاب خمس نجوم

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dattebayo_47

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 16,2025

This book made me cry, because it made me realize how little I have felt loved during my life, especially during childhood.

Although I am single, and not currently in a relationship, I read this because I wanted to learn more about love.

The book has its flaws, but the majority of the information in it is good and useful for anyone that wishes to develop a deeper understanding of of love.

Chapman has written a singles’ edition. I may eventually read that.

Chapman reads the audio well.

I borrowed the audiobook and ebook from my library. The ebook was a very different version from the audio. This was annoying, but not a deal breaker. Be forewarned that there are many versions of this book.

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The 5 Love Languages

Five Love Languages Journal: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate

gary chapman

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gary chapman

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