This article is truly excellent and a must-read for both men and women.

It covers a wide range of topics related to female sexuality. The chapters explore various aspects such as the importance of putting her first, understanding the female orgasm, and the power of the tongue.

There are also discussions on female sexual anatomy, avoiding certain fallacies like Freud's theories, and the significance of scent and sensibility.

The article delves into the play process, foreplay, and coreplay, providing a lexicon of relevant terms. It offers tips on getting into the right position and refreshing our knowledge of the top hot spots of the clitoral network.

From the first kiss to achieving simultaneity, and even including a note for those who may be stuck without an ending, this article has it all. It also emphasizes the importance of expanding our vocabulary when it comes to the female orgasm and achieving seamless transitions.

Whether you're a beginner or looking to advance your knowledge, the routines section provides a cheat sheet to help you along the way.

Overall, this article is a comprehensive guide that offers valuable insights and practical advice for enhancing the sexual experience between men and women.

Coming from a very conservative background and living in conservative Russia, it's extremely tough for me to even admit that I have read this book. Posting a review here and publicly talking about sex feels like I'm going completely bat-shit crazy. So, please don't judge me too harshly and let's consider this a good form of therapy.

In general, this is an okay manual. It focuses solely on one activity: cunnilingus. I wouldn't say the author has a particularly strong case for being so laser-focused. Also, with his writing style, it was difficult for me to distinguish between science and his personal opinion. However, he does seem really invested in the topic, and I did learn quite a bit from it. 'Come as you are' is a better book on sexuality, though.

Pros
* It serves as a guide and is practical, although it's only about oral sex.
* It includes an anatomy 101 section.
* It's easy to read and understand, and I also appreciated the illustration style.
* It has this 'exploration' and 'pleasure' vibe about sex, which is nice. (I'm looking at you, my post-soviet upbringing, you weren't that great.)

Cons
* The writing style and the author's puns are not to my taste. I was able to endure them, but not enjoy them.

So whether you’re just starting down the path of a cliterary life, or are already a bona fide member of the cliterati, get ready to learn the rules of grammar and to deploy them with style.

* I would say it's too detailed and not structured well enough to be a great guide. It seems more like the auteur's detailed experience recap than an actual guide. For example, he gives an exact lick count at some point. That's just weird.
* It's still only about oral sex and is kind of mechanical in essence.

Recap

• The stimulation of ten key hot spots: clitoral head and hood; mons pubis; clitoral cluster; front commissure and clitoral shaft; frenulum; labia minora; vaginal entrance; the fourchette perineum; the anus
• Over the course of six key stages: the first kiss; establishing rhythm; developing tension; escalation; preorgasm; orgasm
• Using three main “actors”: tongue; fingers; hands
• And a variety of ‘supporting actors’: gums, penis (optional), sex toys and restraints (also optional).

* Masturbation and oral sex are more likely to get a woman to an orgasm compared to intercourse.
* Cunnilingus can increase anxiety and insecurities for women.
* Women's sexual response is different, and they need more time to reach orgasm (15+ minutes), and foreplay helps a lot.

The difference between how men and women experience the resolution phase is what I call the “snuggle gap”: women want more interaction; men want to roll over and go to sleep.

I finally finished!

This simple sentence holds a world of meaning and accomplishment. After days, weeks, or maybe even months of hard work, dedication, and perseverance, the task at hand is finally completed.

It could be a project for school, a work assignment, or a personal goal that we have been striving towards.

The feeling of relief and satisfaction that comes with saying "I finally finished" is indescribable.

It is a moment to celebrate our efforts and to look back on all that we have achieved.

However, it is also important to remember that the end of one task is often the beginning of another.

We should use the experience and knowledge gained from this accomplishment to set new goals and continue to grow and improve.

So, let's take a moment to enjoy the fact that we finally finished, and then look forward to the next challenge with excitement and determination.

Rather than penning a brand-new review for this, I prefer to simply cite another review.

Will Swope states, "This is a book tailor-made for any man who is truly earnest about delving into and understanding what the vast majority of women desire when it comes to this particular subject matter. It is an established fact that every woman is unique, yet this book stands out as perhaps the finest guide available. It excels in presenting the material in a straightforward manner while simultaneously introducing novel techniques. This book is not solely fixated on the orgasm. Instead, it emphasizes the importance of building intimacy in the lead-up to that moment, transforming it into something far more profound and meaningful than what either party could have initially imagined or thought possible."

This review by Will Swope offers valuable insights into the nature and value of the book, highlighting its simplicity, innovation, and focus on enhancing the overall experience through the cultivation of intimacy.

It's been a while since I last delved into a non-fiction book about sex. The previous one I read was the outstanding "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex" by Mary Roach. Given that this is an area of great interest with few actual breakthroughs, I decided to give Kerner's book a try. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I think I might have read it before and forgotten, so keep that in mind as you read my comments.

The overarching theme of the book is that a woman's pleasure is the most crucial aspect of sex, as it benefits both partners. This isn't a revolutionary concept in 2015, nor was it in 2004 when the book was published. However, the ratio of informed lovers to those who are clueless in the bedroom seems to change only gradually, much to the detriment of women everywhere. Part of the problem is our society's incorrect way of teaching about sex, and as Kerner points out, a lot of misconceptions are spread through pornography. For this alone, I applaud his message. Combined with suggestions for good wine, iambic Shakespearean sonnets traced on the vulva, and great side stories (the one about Jackson Pollock is truly priceless), the book's value is undeniable.

The prose is rather clinical. Even when describing the most alluring parts of a woman's anatomy and how to stimulate them with the tongue and fingers, the tone remains professional, and the level of erotic engagement almost reaches that of the instructions for assembling Ikea furniture. The actual information is both interesting and, in some cases, at least questionable. The illustrations, too, are non-erotic. If you want to see gleaming genital frenula, you'll still have to look elsewhere. On the positive side, though, you can read "She Comes First" in the library without feeling perverted.
The book aims to inform about a woman's sexual anatomy, redesign the sexual encounter by shifting the focus from intercourse to "coreplay" (which is mostly cunnilingus), and create a plan that can be followed to bring a woman to orgasm using these techniques. There are even cheat sheets. On the surface, this seems like a positive plan. However, problems arise in the execution.
The author combines the labia (both sets), frenulum, front commissure, mons pubis, perineum, and the fourchette (along with the actual clitoris) into parts of a clitoral system, basing his redefinition on the work of the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers. This might be overly pedantic, but wouldn't it be better to just keep the word 'vulva'? The erogenous zone known as the G-Spot becomes part of the clitoral cluster (sorry, Dr. Gräfenberg - your time was short, but sweet). In any case, the book goes on to document the best way to stimulate each element. Here, the enthusiasm for different techniques began to make me feel a bit nervous (after the suggestion of leg restraint without, except in the appendix, any discussion of safe words and such) about the conditions of the research. The thought that came to mind was, "Was the purpose of giving her orgasms for her benefit or his?" which could also be phrased as, "Is she really coming first even if she is cumming first?" But let's move away from that dark corner and focus on another problem, which I think is even deeper and fundamental to the entire issue of books like these.
One thing I've learned is that women are not problems to be solved. They aren't something to be generalized such that a user manual of techniques must be used to go from floundering to satisfaction. That's really just another form of objectifying them, and a list of steps to bring your lover to orgasm misses the whole point of making love - the dedication to the spiritual moment that surpasses all earthly considerations. It's axiomatic. Lose yourself together, and you'll find yourself together again at a peak.
The final complaint I have is the idea that men are responsible for a woman's orgasms. That's a very outdated way of thinking, still bordering on quaint in 2015, but looking rather moldy around the edges. Sex is a participatory activity, and the results depend on the skillful execution of both parties.
All in all, there is enough in "She Comes First" to recommend the book, especially to someone who doesn't have much worldly experience (or does but is misguided in thinking that his orgasm is the main event). I also think it's a decent book for women to read to better understand their anatomy, although my gut feeling is that most thoughtful women have already figured all of this out.
Werner's side stories were the most charming parts, and I'm not going to give any of them away, but I promise they're worth the price of the book. I also applaud his intention to focus on female satisfaction, but I wonder if, even in 2004, he was behind the times. It doesn't really matter, though. It's the outcome that counts. Right? Outcomes. Climaxes. Or is it the journey? Perhaps that's a better question to consider when thinking about the difference between men and women's sexuality.

I believe that the primary objective of the author was to remind men regarding the significance of cunnilingus.

Alright, I understand that. He devotes numerous pages in an attempt to convey this message clearly.

However, subsequent to that, he provides a plethora of tips and recommendations concerning techniques, styles, and much more.

I opine that it is worthy of being read. It is effortless to read, and those suggestions can prove to be useful, even if one is already acquainted with them.

If you are not overly inclined towards cunnilingus, then it is an absolute must-read.

It could potentially enhance your understanding and proficiency in this area, thereby adding a new dimension to your sexual experiences.

Moreover, the detailed explanations and practical advice offered by the author can assist you in approaching cunnilingus with greater confidence and finesse.

So, whether you are a novice or an experienced individual, this piece of writing has something valuable to offer.

We have just completed our reproductive health block in med school, during which we practiced sensitive physical exams.

The facilitator of a small group highly recommended this as a science-backed read.

I have been deeply reflecting on how hospitalization and medication can have a profound impact on every single aspect of people's lives.

Before entering med school, my work in a cancer center provided me with valuable insights into how the illness experience can shatter people's trust in their own bodies and deprive them of the comfort, safety, and healing that comes with physical intimacy.

The reproductive health block has served as a stark reminder of how certain experiences, especially male pleasure, are often emphasized or centralized.

Although I'm not entirely sure if I've gleaned much from this book that I will directly bring up with patients and their partners, I am determined to become more at ease when it comes to discussing this crucial part of people's lives.

I understand the significance of being able to have open and honest conversations about reproductive health, as it can greatly impact a person's overall well-being and quality of life.

By reading this book and engaging in these discussions, I hope to better equip myself to provide comprehensive and empathetic care to my future patients.

I was intrigued to read this book when I came across the interesting phrase: "Most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris."

The author delves into various ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm. This book truly provides answers to questions such as what a man has to do.

It offers valuable insights and practical advice on this often overlooked and misunderstood topic. By exploring different techniques and approaches, the author aims to help men better understand and满足 the sexual needs of their female partners.

Whether it's through communication, exploration, or learning about the female body, this book serves as a guide for those seeking to enhance their sexual experiences and build more fulfilling relationships.

Overall, it is a thought-provoking and informative read that has the potential to change the way we think about female sexuality.

I don't think the 4-star rating need be elaborated upon.

However, overall this is an interesting read. It presents a different perspective that can truly broaden one's horizons.

Truthfully, I actually learned some things from it. The content is engaging and offers valuable insights.

So, women should read it too. It can provide them with a fresh outlook and perhaps some new knowledge or ideas.

Whether it's about relationships, personal growth, or simply a different way of seeing the world, this piece has something to offer.

It's not just a passing read but something that can have a lasting impact on the reader's mindset.

Give it a chance and see what you can take away from it.

The writing seems to have a somewhat heavy reliance on metaphor. I understand that this might be an effort to avoid alienating more sensitive readers. However, it also has a tendency to stretch what could be said in a single sentence over three or four, which can make it a bit tiresome to read.

That being said, it does offer great technical advice. This is preceded by a long and articulate treatise on the current state of sexual inequality. It delves into how this inequality came to be and what can be done to restore the balance. The hint provided is that it's up to us!

The author clearly has a lot of knowledge and is able to present it in a detailed and thought-provoking way. While the use of metaphor and the sentence structure might have some drawbacks, the overall message and the valuable advice make it a worthwhile read.

Perhaps with a bit of refinement in the writing style, the article could become even more engaging and accessible to a wider audience.

I received it as a gift

(from someone who assured me I *didn’t* need it — nudge nudge wink wink, say no more!).

At first, I was a bit skeptical about this gift. But curiosity got the better of me, and yes, I read it anyway.

To my pleasant surprise, it turned out to be an excellent read. In sports terms, you could say it “raised the level of my game”.

It provided me with valuable insights and perspectives that I otherwise would not have had.

I found myself reflecting on my own life and behaviors, and making small but meaningful changes as a result.

Highly recommended for men, and probably surprisingly enlightening for women too.

It offers a unique and refreshing take on various aspects of life, and I believe it has the potential to have a positive impact on anyone who reads it.

Whether you’re looking for self-improvement, a new perspective, or just a good read, this book is definitely worth checking out.

**Title: She Comes First**

**Author: Ian Kerner**

**Genre: Nonfiction, Marriage**

Review: I don't typically review sex books, but this one was truly awful, and I feel compelled to share my thoughts. I purchased it for my husband on our anniversary, hoping he might pick up a few useful tips, but mainly as payback for the "surprise" birthday present he gave me last year. I read this book within two days. At first, I wanted to like it, but by the middle, I deeply regretted spending money on it. The central idea of the book, as the title suggests, is somewhat decent. However, the rest of the content falls flat. The second half of the introduction, the first six chapters, the fourteenth chapter, several middle ones that blend together, and the last six to ten chapters could all be skipped or completely removed. The author repeats himself ad nauseam, to the point of extreme boredom. There are numerous two-page chapters where he simply says, "Okay, let's review and take a deep breath before we get into the actual stuff you want to read. Nah, just kidding; we're gonna be here awhile." The two chapters on anatomy were good, but one had to constantly refer to the pictures in the previous chapter to understand what he was discussing. The author claimed in his introduction that he wasn't "anti-intercourse," but from the way he rambled on about how bad looking for the G-Spot is and how "un-pleasurable" regular intercourse is, etc., one would think otherwise. And then, to top it all off, he delves into porn and "soft bondage" as if they are everyday occurrences. Also, the simplest solution to the four chapters he wasted on "safe sex" is to have one partner for life. Obviously. This guy may have gone to college to obtain a degree in his field, but he's an idiot. So, you can most definitely skip this book - unless you want to buy it from me.

**Rating: PG-20 and up, recommended for married couples only.**