She Comes First bills itself as a guide for thinking men when it comes to sex, particularly those eager to please women. However, I'm skeptical that it truly caters to the thinking crowd. The author attempts to showcase intelligence and humor by frequently referring to Strunk & White's The Elements of Style, but it comes across more as a show-off flaunting their high IQ, similar to this.

The book begins with a cursory overview of women's sexual anatomy and a brief discussion on foreplay, with a passing mention that each woman's needs vary. Sounds good?

Not really. The remainder of the book seems to primarily focus on pleasuring a woman orally, following a specific formula that fails to consider that what works for one may not work for another. What if your partner doesn't enjoy oral sex? Well, if this book is your go-to for sexy times, both you and your partner are likely to be disappointed.

Here are my list of problems with this book:

First, as I've already noted, this book assumes that women can only orgasm through oral sex. While some women do enjoy it, basic logic tells us that just because some people like something, not everyone does. Teaching only oral techniques as a means to orgasm is as dangerous as Freud's claim that a clitoral orgasm is inferior to a vaginal orgasm. It's essentially a man imposing his desires on women.

Second, this book neglects communication and consent. Maybe communication isn't an issue if you're too busy following a script? Or if you have preconceived notions of what to do? I'm not sure. Suffice it to say, instead of encouraging couples to talk about their wants and desires and learn what each partner likes, this book emphasizes that oral sex is the only way.

Third, men who buy this book take it as gospel and end up disappointing both their significant others and themselves. Meanwhile, Ian Kerner can cash in on your purchase. Bad for you, great for him. I firmly believe that this book is targeted at bros who pretend to be interested in their partner's pleasure but are really only looking out for their own.

Finally, my biggest issue is the popularity of this book. There are far better books out there that explain women's sexual anatomy without presuming a particular way that the person in front of you wants to be pleasured.

For other options, try The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World at Your Fingertips or Women's Anatomy Of Arousal: Secret Maps To Buried Pleasure. Both offer in-depth looks at women's anatomy. They also touch on political or spiritual themes that I feel detract from their main point, but otherwise, they are solid. Books that focus on communication or the psychology of sex and arousal, such as Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, would also be better choices.

I gave up about halfway through. Maybe there are redeeming parts later in the book, but if so, Mr Kerner presents the information too late and in too little quantity.

Really good.

This book is specifically written for men, and I firmly believe that it has been done extremely well.

I understand that the main focus of this book is on techniques, but the introduction chapters are truly outstanding and should not be overlooked or skipped.

It effectively addresses some common misconceptions regarding women's sexual pleasure. There is old and outdated science that was based on false assumptions and is still being perpetuated by sex columns or porn.

The author also provides a detailed anatomy lesson, which is very beneficial as he compares the parts with men's parts. This helps men to understand more deeply and gain a better perspective of the other side.

So, without a doubt... Read this book and make sure to practice these techniques. Women everywhere will be grateful to you. ^_^

It's a great resource that can enhance the understanding and communication between the sexes in the realm of sexual pleasure.

But as with any language, in order to express oneself fluently, to make the subject sing and soar, one must be thoroughly acquainted with the rules of grammar and style. One of my favorite books on this subject is the indispensable classic Elements of Style. It exhorted readers to “write boldly and make definite assertions.”

Viz: She Comes First represents the most thorough treatment of the art of cunnilingus currently available. It will not only teach you everything you need to know to master the grammar of oral sex but also answer any questions you might have along the way. By the time you finish this book, you’ll not only be thinking about sex from a new perspective but also know everything about how to lead a woman to orgasm with your tongue time and time again.

However, as Strunk and White wrote in Elements of Style, “Do not overstate…a single overstatement, wherever or however it occurs, diminishes the whole.” Despite my literary reservations, I can't help sympathizing with someone capable of such self-irony. My own education as a “cunnilinguist” began with sexual dysfunction. I was hopeless, pathetic. Just the sight of a woman’s naked body could make me lose control, and foreplay quickly led to the end of play. In the language of love, I couldn’t get past the first syllable. I was sure that on my gravestone, my epitaph would read, “He came. He saw. And then he came again.”

Men often joke of having two heads, the big and the little, and of their frequent battles with each other. However, during cunnilingus, if you trust the moment and let yourself go, you enter a zone where both your heads are united in a process of arousal that is synchronized with hers. You become one with yourself and her.

The difference between how men and women experience the resolution phase is what I call the “snuggle gap.” Women want more interaction; men want to roll over and go to sleep. While much literature has been devoted to the “insensitivity” of men and the “neediness” of women in this respect, it’s far more effective to understand that the snuggle gap is largely the result of biology. Men crash quickly after sex, women come down slowly. So don’t overanalyze or get angry and pick a fight. Instead, respect each other’s differences and compromise: fall asleep while holding her in your arms.

Although my issues with "try for try's sake" are mostly emotional, these numbers are interesting too. If a man has two to four sexual partners in his lifetime, his chances of contracting an STD are about 3 percent. As the number of partners increases, so does the risk. With more than twenty partners, his risk is about 28 percent. The same rough pattern is true of women, with the spectrum of percentages increasing from 5 to 35 percent.

From the Cunnilinguist's Manifesto: Take one small lick for man, one giant lick for mankind. Cunnilinguists of the world unite. The revolution is upon us. Vive la Vulva!

Hah! Some advice we Goodreaders are bound to appreciate: Take a page from The Thousand and One Nights and incorporate a story into foreplay. If you’re not a born storyteller, try reading one aloud together. Some literary recommendations include James Salter’s erotic masterpiece, A Sport and a Pastime; Anais Nin’s collections of short stories Delta of Venus and Little Birds; the erotic novels Emanuelle by Emanuelle Arsan and Story of O by Pauline Réage; Harold Brodkey’s sexual saga “Innocence”; novels by Jerzy Kosinski such as Passion Play and Cockpit; Henry Miller’s Under the Roofs of Paris and Quiet Days in Clichy; My Secret Life by Anonymous and The Pure and the Impure by Colette; Nancy Friday’s anthology of fantasies, Secret Garden; stories from The Mammoth Book of Erotica or one of the many erotic anthologies edited by Susie Bright. For those with a taste for poetry, try Les Fleurs du Mal by Charles Baudelaire or Flesh Unlimited by Guillaume Apollinaire. And for those who like comic books (kinky ones, that is), try the extra-hot works of writer/illustrator Eric Stanton, who specializes in female-domination fantasies.

What is this doing on my bookshelf?

It's such a mystery. I look at it with confusion. There it sits, seemingly out of place. I wonder how it got there in the first place. Did I accidentally put it there when I was organizing my books? Or did someone else place it there without my knowledge?

There's really nothing to see here. It's just an ordinary object on my bookshelf. So, please, move along. There are more interesting things to explore in other parts of my room or in the world outside. Let's not waste time on this little curiosity that has found its way onto my bookshelf.

I picked up this book with a specific intention. I wanted to prove to myself that there are indeed men in the world who care about a woman's enjoyment at least as much as their own, if not more. Ian Kerner seemed like just the right man. After reading his "Be Honest: You're Not That Into Him Either" and having recently dealt with several incompetent men, I became addicted to his truly uplifting perspective on the romantic/sexual/physiological relationship between men and women. He really gives me hope.

That being said, this book isn't great because of the technical advice (though, to be honest, I haven't reached that part yet and I'm not overly interested). Instead, it's because of his unique method of comparing pleasuring a woman to "The Elements of Style". Yes, you read that right.

Despite the somewhat embarrassing diagrams (at least when reading on the train), I'm extremely happy that a man would care so much about how we function that he'd dedicate an entire book to this topic. There are also some interesting tidbits, like the story of Empress Wu Hu who, no joke, required foreign diplomats to perform oral sex on her before she would meet with them and discuss politics.

I love the way he challenges Freud, quotes Kinsey, and strikes a tone that respects the stress caused by the "women who do not enjoy penetration are frigid" myth while also poking fun at its absurdity.

Its spunky papaya cover makes it an excellent addition to any bedroom. It's something to keep on display when less enlightened men are coming over.

Overall, it's a thoroughly enjoyable read.

She Comes First is a comprehensive manual designed specifically for men, aiming to guide them on how to offer sexual pleasure to a woman. The fundamental premise of this book is firmly rooted in the fact that female orgasms predominantly stem from clitoral stimulation. The author elaborates further, stating that the most intense and satisfying clitoral orgasms are typically achieved through cunnilingus. He also highlights the differences in male and female sexual responses, positing that it is highly beneficial for heterosexual couples if the female orgasm precedes the male orgasm.

The author, who holds a Ph.D. from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists and is an English major from Brandeis University, has ingeniously chosen to adopt the structure of Strunk and White's The Elements of Style to organize the information presented in the book. In the first section, titled "The Elements of Sexual Style," a detailed outline of female sexual anatomy and response is provided. To strengthen his argument regarding the clitoral orgasm, he contends that the clitoris is far more complex than just the glans or the so-called "love button." In fact, it consists of 18 distinct parts, with the majority of them being internal and not visible to the naked eye. Throughout the text, line drawings by Naomi Pitcairn prove to be extremely helpful in vividly illustrating the relevant anatomy and positions.

The second section, "Rules of Usage," delves into the basic steps of cunnilingus, commencing from foreplay and progressing through "coreplay" to "moreplay." Essentially, this section functions as an instructional manual on how to perform cunnilingus effectively, presented in short chapters, each concluding with a "Let's Review" section for easy recapitulation.

The third and final section, "Putting It All Together," offers a range of routines, catering to beginners as well as advanced learners. What's more, there is even a blank Routine Template provided, which readers can photocopy and customize with their own unique variations. The sight of this template immediately conjures up the image of a young playboy meticulously keeping completed templates, with women's names emblazoned at the top, neatly filed alphabetically in a ring binder.

While I found many aspects of this book to be quite appealing, I couldn't help but feel that the chosen format actually detracted somewhat from the overall presentation. Strunk and White's book might have been a revolutionary guide for some young college freshmen learning the art of writing, but their methodology does not always seamlessly translate to other disciplines such as sexual education. However, what ultimately saves the book is the author's palpable enthusiasm for his subject matter and the wealth of knowledge he imparts. If you happen to have a man in your life who is somewhat clueless when it comes to sexual matters, this book could potentially serve as a valuable resource, helping him to discover one of the greatest joys in life.

I now find myself in a rather strange position. I feel as if I have delved deeper into the realm of female anatomy than perhaps many women themselves.

It's a curious feeling, and I'm not entirely certain if this is truly a positive thing.

On one hand, having this knowledge can be empowering and educational. It allows for a better understanding of the female body and its functions.

On the other hand, there is a certain unease that comes with it. Am I overstepping some boundaries?

This article was a great and easy read. It managed to present the topic in a way that was as light as possible on the scientific and anatomy side, especially considering the sensitivity of this particular subject.

It was accessible and engaging, making it a pleasant experience to learn about female anatomy without feeling overwhelmed by technical jargon.

Overall, while I may have gained more knowledge than I initially expected, I'm still left with a mix of emotions and questions about the implications of this newfound understanding.

I have a deep admiration for this man. His passion for going down is truly remarkable.

It's as if he has an insatiable appetite for that particular activity. He approaches it with such enthusiasm and dedication, it's truly inspiring.

Every time he engages in it, he seems to be in his element, completely immersed and enjoying every moment.

His love for going down is like a burning flame that never extinguishes. It's a part of who he is, and it shows in the way he carries himself.

He is truly a king in this regard, ruling over his domain with confidence and skill.

I can't help but be in awe of his love and commitment to this activity. It's something that sets him apart and makes him truly special.

I look forward to seeing how his love for going down continues to grow and develop in the future.

Obviously, I'm not in the target audience for this title, yet I was curious regardless. After all, a woman can't obtain what she desires if she doesn't know what to ask for.

The text is surprisingly engaging for a self-help book. The author maintains a light tone with an abundance of creative euphemisms like "lunch at the Y" and deliberately exaggerated, tongue-in-cheek hyperbole such as "Once her orgasm was but a distant and faraway destination in your journey down the road of arousal. Now the contours of her skyline are plainly in view, the throbbing pulse of Main Street tangible. You've just entered the city limits. Welcome to Orgasmopolis!"

What I particularly adore about this book more than anything else is that the sex researcher who penned it was once an English major. To this very day, he remains completely smitten with Strunk and White's Elements of Style and directly modeled and structured She Comes First after that manual. Not only that, but throughout the book, he consistently employs grammar rules as metaphors during his cunnilingus instructions. I truly wish I had read this before having to take Magazine Editing in college with the Dreaded Prof. Ranly. Some immature sniggering behind my hand might have made that torture pass by a little more quickly.

It’s good.

I think at the time it was written approximately 15 years ago, it was a bit more taboo.

Maybe that explains the sort of handholding feeling I had while reading this.

However, nowadays a lot of the tips did seem more mainstream.

Thankfully, the Overton window for some of the social stigmas and other things has shifted.

I’d hope we have reached the point where we all understand that arousal is much more than just a physical thing.

But considering the quality of the sex education I received at school, perhaps this should be a required supplementary read for all curious adults.

It contains good information, although at times it may seem a bit overdone.

Nevertheless, it is definitely a recommended read for the guys (and girls) out there.

I think if you’re curiously reading a review of this book on Goodreads, you should just go ahead and make the decision to read it.

However, I probably wouldn’t be overly enthusiastic and shout about this book from the rooftops.

I read this book with the intention of being able to teach those around me. I had high hopes that it would offer some valuable insights into how to approach the subject matter and encourage guys to persevere. However, to my disappointment, it was solely directed towards men. While that aspect is good as they should understand that the title is not just a suggestion but rather a rule that they should abide by. Nevertheless, due to its limited scope, I decided to give it 3 stars.

It would have been more beneficial if the book had also included perspectives and advice for those who are teaching or interacting with men on this topic. This would have made it a more comprehensive and useful resource.

Overall, although the book has its merits in addressing men directly, it could have been improved by expanding its reach and providing more well-rounded guidance.

"Better Late Than Never"

This phrase holds a lot of truth.

Sometimes in life, we may delay taking action or making a decision. We might have various reasons for this delay, such as fear, uncertainty, or simply being too busy.

However, it's important to remember that even if we are late in doing something, it's still better than not doing it at all.

For example, if we want to learn a new language but keep putting it off, it's better to start learning it late rather than never learning it.

Similarly, if we have a goal that we haven't achieved yet, it's never too late to start working towards it.

In conclusion, "better late than never" is a valuable reminder that we should not let the fear of being late prevent us from taking action and pursuing our dreams.