I've got nothing against the message of this book or the questions it's build up around.
It's just that it's all a little... shallow. . and simplistic.
There's so much more to life, and people and their problems, and their stories, and their thinking and their feelings than Byron Katie acknowledges.
Life is complex.
And sometimes the way to clear your mind or look at life and things from a different perspective doesn't come in a 4-question package, no matter how well and often it has worked for others.

I get the questions. I get it.
And at times I think it can be a great tool.
Questioning your own judgements and investigating your own feelings and looking at them from other perspectives can lead to many new insights and open your eyes to liberating perepctives and thoughts you've never even considered.

But (and there is a 'but') at other times, I would have chosen a different path, a different wording, a different sensitivity, a different way to bring issues into perspectives. Blame that on my psychology training or my personal taste, if you like, but the bottom line is this:

I understand the questions might work for some people in some situations but when it comes to whether or not these 4 questions are the answers to every problem for every person, everywhere, me and Byron Katie certainly differ.

I guess I just dont belive in a one-for-all solution.
n  n
In my experience there are many paths to go, and I dont believe there is a 'cure them all' or a saviour, or one and one only remedy for life's hardships or personal challenges.

I found it disenchanting and troublesome how fundamentalisticly Byron believes in the power of these 4 questions as the sure and only way to salvation, if not now, then later on.
Over and over again she claims that 'the work' will surely lead to the solution to everyones problems, and if not, it surely wasn't the questions that could be at fault, noooo, of course it's the people that just hasn't done their 'work' well enough, or was ready for its brilliance.

n  n

Dear Katie, I know they worked for you, and I'm really happy for you, and it's very kind of you to share what has clearly brought you (and others) so much joy and peace, but claiming it is the right way (and the only way?) for everyone else is at both a little arrogant, and potentially damaging to the people in question (literally).

There's a saying (I forget who) that I try to live by, that goes something a long the lines of:
"Just because they aren't on your path, doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

There are endless ways, paths and healing ways to go and not everyone benefits from the same things, It all depends on the journey they are on.
This might be one way, but I surely it is not the only way.

And if you want to go beyond (and beneath) the surface level, I recommend you instead try to read Eckhart Tolle, The power of Now or Deepak Chopra's "The book of secrets: Unlocking the hidden dimensions of your life"

Dit is echt een van de beste boeken voor persoonlijke groei die ik heb gelezen (samen met power of now en nonviolent communication bv). Het heeft een hele duidelijke boodschap, namelijk de methode om je gedachtes die tegen wat is in gaan en je dus pijn doen, te onderzoeken en zien met liefde. Daarmee zie je dan dat de realiteit precies is wat je nodig hebt en je gedachtes erover dat zijn wat je pijn doen. In het begin was dit alles en de methode nog best raar, maar op een gegeven moment klikte het en ging er echt een wereld van inzicht voor me open.

Amar lo que es. Simple, pero a la vez profundo. Definitivamente un libro que vale la pena leer.

A perfect antidote to how I experience life & thoughts about it. Lots of examples of turning thinking to examine your own role in interactions. Good Buddhist philosophy

This book has changed my life.

It helps you to let go of judgment.

You can focus within and let that stuff go too.

It really has the tools for you to find all the answers.

An 14-year old told me the other day that she’d just discovered Oprah. It was adorable. And strange.

That’s how I feel about Byron Katie. How did I not know about this woman and her life-altering work before now? It’s like years-worth of extra strength therapy bottled up into a book. Literally has changed my life. My way of thinking. I’m likely going to buy a dozen and deliver them to my friends like some kind of mental health fairy.

Lo único bueno del libro es que trata de centrar la mejora en lo que uno mismo puede hacer. Pero me parece un poco problemático sólo centrar el origen del problema en uno mismo, porque aúnque es cierto que es nuestro margen de maniobra, hay que aceptar y comprender que hay cosas malas o dañinas, externas de las que no plantea ni un ápice como tratarlas, sin buscar el error en uno mismo. Por lo tanto, diría que es un libro que habla de un método cojo en parte.

I have read majority of this and I’ve followed her and watched a lot of videos.

It’s been life changing for me and it’s helped a lot of my clients.
It’s really a hidden gem of self-inquiry, if you are not yet familiar with her. She is a very soothing intelligent woman. I suggest her often to clients and friends

Familiarize yourself her process via her website or this book. I use both and she has great worksheets on her site.

The 4 liberating questions are a regulars tool i also use in my own life.
The turn around being so much awareness, and sometimes feel a lot like shadow work and with the awareness you also
get some amazing aha moments

I absolutely love Byron Katie’s work. Some things are hard to imagine turning however I believe there’s learning adjustment to the subconscious unlearning

I have no idea how to star this. One star because I think it's potentially dangerous? Four stars because I think some of it could be helpful for some people? Two stars because on balance I can't make up my mind? I don't know. Ultimately, I think Katie's concepts are too much for most people to digest without potentially having bad side effects. The idea of letting go of the things we can't control - other people, many of our thoughts, realizations that we're often our own problem and not the other person - these are good realizations. Most things in life that regard our interaction with others can be enhanced if we learn good boundaries and learn to understand it is only our thoughts about things that really affect us. However, Katie's core philosophy borders on nihilism. If taken to it's logical conclusion her methods could lead devotees towards a existential crisis from which one might never recover. I can't in good conscience recommend the book for most people.

Terrible. She was recommend is some Instagram pages about positive parenting, but I've realized she is a guru just like other gurus are. Her method is full of argumentation errors, expect cure after catarsis, promotes a modern version of an inquisition to expose people in front of others (and laugh about what is said). She also over simplify people's minds and re-traumatize making people responsible for what happened in their lives.

I liked the simplicity of "The Work" and can see how it would be very freeing in many self discovery situations. I am still struggling with some of her concepts, but it was definitely worth the read.

Hmmmm...need to digest this one before writing a review. Some things rang true, some were rather disturbing. I'll be back in a bit...

I'm back. Here we go:

**Update**
After a long discussion with a good friend who found The Work extremely helpful in dealing with some difficult issues in her life recently, I'm willing to acknowledge that when applied appropriately with greater guidance and/or better explanation, many of my concerns as outlined below can be alleviated. My rating is staying at a 1-star level because I don't feel this book explains those points well at all and vulnerable people left to apply these concepts from this book without additional clarification (from the website, workshops, facilitators, etc.) can easily get the wrong message and be hurt rather than helped. That doesn't mean, as I mentioned below, that there isn't good to be found in this book or that it's not helpful to many. I just found some of the approach and particularly the explanation lacking.
**Back to the original review**

* "Is it true?" is a very useful question to ask when contemplating what is upsetting us or causing us pain, as long as there's willingness to acknowledge that we may not have all the facts.

* "Can you really absolutely know that that's true?" is not a useful question. If the answer is always "no," which Byron Katie seems to believe it is, then there is absolutely no moral foundation. Whether she agrees or not, I believe there are some "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" in this world. People *should* be honest. Children *shouldn't* be brutalized, mutilated, beaten, starved, murdered, etc. Just because bad awful things happen, doesn't mean they *should*. The key, in my mind, is to accept that things that "shouldn't" happen sometimes do anyway, that you have no control over other people's choices, and that sometimes that really hurts, and then move on with a determination to try not to hurt others the same way, to ease pain instead of cause it, not to accept that bad things *should* happen because they did.

* Some aspects of the Turnaround have great application in the "beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye" kind of way. Again, I'm not comfortable with rejecting every "should" or "shouldn't" statement. The idea that "he shouldn't be dishonest" can be turned around to "I shouldn't be dishonest" and become a great opportunity to ponder my own personal commitment to honesty. The idea that "he should be dishonest" is simply not helpful or enlightening.

* There were some disturbing "blame the victim" implications toward the end of the book when Byron Katie applied The Work to situations involving abuse, incest, rape, etc. For example, "There's no such thing as verbal abuse. There's only someone telling me a truth that I don't want to hear." Um, no. Verbal abuse is real. It is abuse, not necessarily grounded in truth, and no, it *shouldn't* happen. It's also completely inappropriate to ask a woman to identify what "her part" was in the sexual abuse her stepfather committed on her when she was nine years old. That's just wrong.

* Likewise, there seemed to be wholesale ignorance of clinical, chemical depression - and I'm not talking about the occasional "funk" or feeling low which I believe you can affect by changing your thinking. Statements like, "Only you can cause your depression" are irresponsible and can cause serious harm if people who need professional help choose not to seek it because "Byron Katie said I should be able to think myself out of this."

* Some level of judgment is necessary. "There's no path that's higher than another." Really? I mean, there are tons of paths that are A-OK by me, but I don't believe that all paths are of equal worth. And unless you think Mother Teresa's lifelong effort to serve others and relieve suffering is on par with Jeffrey Dahmer's lifelong path of sadism, death and destruction, then you too believe that some paths are inherently higher than others.

* I disagree with her assertion that "Nothing outside you can ever give you what you're looking for" because it completely discounts a higher power: God, Allah, the Spirit, the Universe, whatever you want to call it. My most transcendent moments in life have come from surrendering to that higher power and allowing Him/Her/Them/It to change me.

* Byron Katie also seems to discount the importance of planning for the future and having goals. While living wholly in the future or in the past is counter-productive, we need to expend some energy deciding where we want to go and what we want to be and then figuring out how to get there. Sometimes life will throw wrenches in those plans, but we can't remain static and expect to be truly happy. And we do have responsibilities to others, particularly our children.

While Byron Katie's book has some elements that would be helpful if used correctly, I'm concerned that too much of her approach would, in actuality, be damaging. I'm sure the thousands of people who have experienced life-changing events because of The Work will disagree with me and let me know just where I'm not understanding her approach, but there are other, much better and less problematic sources (go read something by the Dalai Lama, for example) for the good elements in Byron Katie's book.

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