Comically dated and long overdue for a new edition. I'm curious what this book would be like for the Millennial crowd and I think that is something worth exploring.

Other than that, this is a perfectly cromulent book about being more assertive (now THAT'S something you don't hear much about anymore, being more ASSERTIVE.) but I think, today, these tools are more applicable to boundary setting. At this point, we know "assertiveness" isn't a word thrown around in professional settings anymore and these days we have better defenses against negative consumer situations (like a skeevy car mechanic) than just being assertive. We have more choices than ever and it behooves the service industry to treat their customers well because I can always just walk away from that douche, throw up a bad review on Yelp and Google to drive other customers away and then find a different auto mechanic, all in a matter of seconds.

But where these practices will shine is your personal life. Setting boundaries (or "being assertive") is actually good for your relationships. Saying "No" to those you love can be a good thing. This is self-care 101, base-level Brene Brown kind of stuff. And that's the benefit to this book. If you have a hard time saying no to your family, friends, or partner, there's definitely some good tools here that you can learn to keep you from over extending yourself. However, if you're like me and already have a lot of experience in the mental health world (i.e. a CRAP TON of therapy), this will be old hat.

Excellent Book! Loved it and it really helped me.

As someone who concedes to manipulation easily and has trouble standing up for themselves this book had a lot of good advice to offer me! Being assertive can be done in a way that does not attempt to counter manipulation with manipulation. And while being assertive is a paradigm shift and sometimes I may stumble trying to assert my needs, it still leads to better outcomes than the default mode of not being assertive. Ultimately each of us are our own judge of ourselves, and from that rule of thumb there's a "bills of rights" we have to assert our wants, needs, desires. The examples drawn from real-life patients of child/parent, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships made the learnings concrete too.

The book was written in the 70s and it's age shows in some places. Some stereotypes of nagging stay at home wife and husband who just wants to be left alone and watch TV exist. But I still think the book is very helpful. Just have to maintain a critical eye while reading

The advice given is helpful. If you are in regular contact with someone who is abusive/manipulative, this book will be a godsend.

The last few chapters are all examples on how you can put assertively speaking into practice. A lot of the practices are outdated, and are a great way to brand yourself a "Karen" to the customer service industry in 2021. Maybe in the '70s, the person you speak with at the register/return center did not have any power, but in 2021, they have the power to assist you. There is absolutely no need to immediately escalate to their supervisor (who may not have operated in the same role in months/years, if ever).

Cons: Archaic scenarios, misogyny, homophobia, most examples only apply to men, a bit monotonous, men’s bathroom rules are absolutely absurd.

Pros: simple steps to practice, teaches you to not take responsibility for others needs/reactions, advocated for self esteem, teaches you to recognize manipulation.

Welp. Another book for the 'reread every year' category (note to self: make a 'reread every year' category).

You have the right to be your own judge. Easy to say, not to easy to grok. When you truly believe you are your own judge, you don't feel the need to be defensive or justify your actions. Apparently. I have a lot of work to do before I get there.

When you give up the need to be perfect, you can agree with the criticism of others. The benefit of this is that it quickly takes the fight out of them. This appeals to the pragmatist in me.

I can't recommend this book enough. It seriously changed things for me, for the better. I suffer from social anxiety and panic disorder and reading this gave me concrete coping strategies, using real-life scenarios and examples, that I could easily translate into my own day-to-day life. My work interactions with a passive-aggressive colleague improved to the point where my boss noticed and praised me for dealing with the situation so gracefully and professionally.

On the interpersonal front, it's helped me be more clear and direct with my loved ones and allowed me to have a freer path of communication with them.

The book was recommended to me by my psychologist/therapist years ago, and I'm grateful for it still today. I've loaned it to others, lost it—probably bought 3 copies of it over the years. I still refer back to it to this day for certain situations and for reassurance when I'm doubting myself.

You will feel better after reading this, I promise!

‘When I say no I feel guilty’ is one of the many self-help books which helps to understand how to get your own way by not feeling much guilty after saying the word no and eventually contradicts thetitle of the book by framing it to ‘When I say no, I don’t feel guilty!’The author of the book Manuel J.Smith was a psychologist and renowned author of many other self help books like this one and hiscatchy titles eventually would make you end up reading at least the summary of the book.
To summarize, the book talks about various revolutionary techniques ranging from ‘Broken Record’
and ‘Fogging’ techniques. It is a vintage 1975 book which includes assertive ways to deal with self
doubt and tackle situations in smart way by placing your points on the table without hurting people
around. The book contains dialogues which makes understanding even better.
I personally found this book relatable and it didn’t take much time to finish as I am among the manynon-assertive people out there and this book was bound to keep me hold of it. The implementation of all the techniques in daily life would definitely take much time but this book unlike many otherself help books transcends from simple concepts to tedious ones; which has helped me to changemy daily conversation statements in a better way thus providing enough time to get accustomedwith the reading and start implementing it. The best part of the book is that it is filled with gazillionsof examples which makes it more relatable; the foremost example of behaviour of babies as they are
born and change in their behaviours considering the social norms is presented smartly.
So, I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn the art of saying ‘No’.

اغلب اوقات، بعضي‏ها با اين باور غير واقع بينانه که آدم سالم کسي ��ست که مساله‏اي ندارد، به اين نتيجه می‏‏رسند که ادامه ندادن اين طور زندگي، بهتر است. اغلب بيماراني که هنگام معالجه با روحيه‏شان آشنا می‏‏شوم، اين باور منفي را در خود پرورش داده‏اند اما گناه مسئله‏ها و دشواري‏ها نيست. گناه احساس خودمان است که خيال می‏‏کنيم نمی‏‏توانيم از پس مسايل و مردمی‏‏که مسئله ساز هستند برآييم.

ارتباط کلامی ‏‏و توانايي حل دشواري‏ها تفاوت اصلي ميان بشريت و موجوداتي است که يا از بين رفته‏اند يا نسل آن‏ها در شرف انقراض و يا در نهايت تحت انسان‏ها درآمده‏اند. در حالي که حيوانات در تنها سلاح‏شان براي تنازع بقا، جنگ يا گري�� با انسان شريک هستند. ما به لطف نياکان موفق‏ترمان براي ادامه حيات علاوه بر توانايي جنگ، گريز از نيروی تکلم بهره‏مند هستيم. که از آن برای مشکلات خود به جای جنگ و گرز استفاده می‏کنيم و با گفت و گو يکديگر به تفاهم می‏رسيم.

" عندما أقول لا، أشعر بالذنب. ولكن أذا قلت نعم أكره نفسي لا محالة "

كنت متحمس لهذا الكتاب بشهدة بصفتي شخص يجد صعوبة في قول "لا" وأجد نفسي أقبل أمور لا أرغب في فعلها لمجرد أن لا أشهر بالذنب أو القلق. و للأسف يستغل الكثير ضدي التلاعب العاطفي لأفعل وأتقبل أمور لا أرغب بها علي الأطلاق ولكن من السهل أن تجعلني أشعر بالذنب تجاهك بدلاً من أشعر بالذنب تجاهي.

ولكن جاء الكتاب مخيب جداً للأحمال. سواء على مستوي الكتابة الصعب والمعقد في حد ذاته. أو على مستوي الأمثلة المثيرة للسخرية. مع معتقدات الكاتب الغريبة والعنصرية في كذلك من الأوقات وقبوله لتصرفات عنيفة ضد النساء والأطفال.

لكن كان علي توقع هذا و أنا أقرأ كتاب تم نشره في السبعينات.

The Idea is great, but the book can be shorter.

Muy tedioso y repetitivo.