بعد الاغلاق الكتاب لم اجد انه اضاف لي الكثير سوى الجزء الاخير منه و قاعدة عدم الجدال او كما قال ابتعاد على النقاش و هذه نقطة مهمة جدا.
على امتداد الاربعة فصول وجدته يكرر في نفس الافكار و القواعد التي تتلخص في :
* تقدير الآخر و تشجيعه
* حسن الإصغاء للآخر و اهتمام بم يحب.
* الابتسام و استعمال اللباقة في الحوار و اجتناب لغة الامر
* الاعتراف بالخطأ حين نخطئ و تجنب التعنت و التبرير
*تذكر التواريخ ميلاد اصدقاءك و هواياتهم و اسماءهم المحببة لهم.
*حين تواجه مشكلة في عمل مثلا حفز :
_المنافسة و التحدي
-الدوافع النبيلة في اخر :الامانة و الصدق و الالتزام بالعهد.
اذن لم يضف لي جديد سوى الجزئية التي ذكرتها.

*نقطة مهمة اضفت نجمة اضافية لاجل الجزء الاخير و انصح حقا الرجال و النساء ان يطلعوا عليه.فن التعامل مع الرجال و النساء.
اظن ان كلنا بحاجة لهذه نصائح من شخص خبير نوع م.بعيدا عن نصائح امهاتنا و الابائنا و محيطنا

*** الجدير بذكر ان هناك تشابه بين هذا الكتاب و كتاب "فن الاغواء" اولا في ضرب امثلة الكثيرة و ثانية انه يدعو الى استعمال الذكاء و الكياسة لكسب اصدقاء. و هناك تشابه بينه و بين كتاب" لاتحزن " (الذي لم احبه ايضا)
ربما بسبب كثرة قرءاتي لتنمية البشرية او ربما لاسباب الاخرى جعلتني اراه عادي. او
It is not my cup of tea.
استاذي المحترم ادريس اعتذر

5+ stars (9/10 hearts). I put off reading this for a year because I was sure I’d find it dull and hard to get through. Once I actually cracked it open, I read it over two days while sick and sang its praises to everyone who’d listen. It’s THAT good.

I plan to write a longer, better review next year upon reread. But for now, here’s a very brief overview of the book’s lessons:

Part I: How to make yourself a person that is agreeable to be around, worth listening to, and enjoyable to work with, so that you can build a good life and prosper in all your doings.

And the way to do that? Become genuinely interested in people, be kind to them, and adapt yourself to their preferences instead of riding roughshod over them with yours.

Part II: How to Win People Over to Your Way of Thinking.

The answer: Don’t argue. Be polite. Be tactful.

Part III: How to Change People without Giving Offence or Raising Resentment.

And the solution is: Be kind, be tactful, and be humble.

All very basic life things we should know and practise but which we don’t and that we need to be reminded of… often.

The book closes with a short section on how to be a better wife and husband, which is very good. And the writing stye is crisp, clear, and humorous, with plenty of stories and dramatization. An excellent and enjoyable book!

Save the gospel itself, and my mission president, this book has been the single most influential thing in my life. Insightful? Yes. Timeless, Absolutely. But for someone who had no social skills to speak of until his mission? Transformative.

Here are just a FEW of the nuggets in this amazing book:

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
(Emerson, As quoted by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 31)

“You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will . . . inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open . . . as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.”
(Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 125)

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
“‘A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’”

“Criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return”

“There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.”
(Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 138)

But my #1, favorite principle from this book is DEFINITELY:
‘If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.’
“That is so simple, so obvious . . . yet 90 percent of the people on this earth ignore it 90 percent of the time.”
(Henry Ford, then Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 37)

Một trong những cuốn sách mình ghét nhất mọi thời đại và bị nghe lải nhải về nó nhiều nhất mọi thời đại. Ghét ngay từ câu đầu tiên đến câu cuối cùng.

A lot more interesting to read than I thought it would be and it has some very useful and practical advice. This is basically a collection of tips and tricks to meet people and maybe win some new friends. Though I can also see that if your motivation for applying these tricks is only for your own benefit, maybe these tricks won’t be able to lead you to a sincere friendship.

n  When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.n

Dale Carnegie is a quintessentially American type. He is like George F. Babbitt come to life—except considerably smarter. And here he presents us with the Bible for the American secular religion: capitalism with a smile.
tt
In a series of short chapters, Carnegie lays out a philosophy of human interaction. The tenets of this philosophy are very simple. People are selfish, prideful, and sensitive creatures. To get along with people you need to direct your actions towards their egos. To make people like you, compliment them, talk in terms of their wants, make them feel important, smile big, and remember their name. If you want to persuade somebody, don’t argue, and never contradict them; instead, be friendly, emphasize the things you agree on, get them to do most of the talking, and let them take credit for every bright idea.
tt
The most common criticism lodged at this book is that it teaches manipulation, not genuine friendship. Well, I agree that this book doesn’t teach how to achieve genuine intimacy with people. A real friendship requires some self-expression, and self-expression is not part of Carnegie’s system. As another reviewer points out, if you use this mindset to try to get real friends, you’ll end up in highly unsatisfying relationships. Good friends aren't like difficult customers; they are people you can argue with and vent to, people who you don't have to impress.
tt
Nevertheless, I think it’s not accurate to say that Carnegie is teaching manipulation. Manipulation is when you get somebody to do something against their own interests; but Carnegie’s whole system is directed towards getting others to see that their self-interest is aligned with yours. This is what I meant by calling him the prophet of “capitalism with a smile,” since his philosophy is built on the notion that, most of the time, people can do business with each other that is mutually beneficial. He never advocates being duplicitous: “Let me repeat: The principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.”
tt
Maybe what puts people off is his somewhat cynical view of human nature. He sees people as inherently selfish creatures who are obsessed with their own wants; egotists with a fragile sense of self-esteem: “People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon and after dinner.”
tt
Well, maybe it's just because I am an American, but this conception of human nature feels quite accurate to me. Even the nicest people are absorbed with their own desires, troubles, and opinions. Indeed, the only reason that it’s easy to forget that other people are preoccupied with their own priorities is because we are so preoccupied with our own that it’s hard to imagine anyone thinks otherwise. The other day, for example, I ran into my neighbor, a wonderfully nice woman, who immediately proceeded to unload all her recent troubles on me while scarcely asking me a single question. This isn’t because she is bad or selfish, but because she’s human and wanted a listening ear. I don’t see anything wrong with it.
tt
In any case, I think this book is worth reading just for its historical value. As one of the first and most successful examples of the self-help genre, it is an illuminating document. Already in this book, we have what I call “Self-Help Miracle Stories”—you know, the stories about somebody applying the lessons from this book and achieving a complete life turnaround. Although the author always insists the stories are real, the effect is often comical: “Jim applied this lesson, and his customer was so happy he named his first-born son after him!” “Rebecca impressed her boss so much that he wrote her a check for one million dollars on the spot!” “Frank did such a good job at the meeting that one of his clients bought him a Ferrari, and another one offered him his daughter in marriage!” (These are only slight exaggerations.)
tt
Because of this book’s age, the writing is quaint and charming. Take, for example, this piece of advice on how to get the most out of the book: “Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.” A lively game! How utterly delightful.

Probably this book would be far more effective if Carnegie included some exercises instead of focusing on anecdotes. But then again, it would be far less enjoyable reading in that case, since the anecdotes are told with such verve and pep (to quote Babbitt). And I think we could all use a little more pep in our lives.

Cuốn sách mình ghét nhất, ghét từ nội dung đến cách người ta ca tụng nó
Chỉ là dạy cách khai thác tình bạn để phục vụ cho lợi ích của bản thân.

Still relevant today as it was when it was first published!

No, you’re not imagining it. I am friendlier and more influential now.

I owe it all to Dale Carnegie, the failed actor from Missouri who discovered he had a knack for jazzing up people’s confidence. His foundational work, “How to Win Friends & Influence People,” blasted off in 1936, but for anyone who wants a pill-sized dose of encouragement, a “mini abridged edition” is being released this week to celebrate the book’s 80th year.

You could call “How to Win Friends & Influence People” the grandfather of America’s self-help movement, except this grandfather is running circles around the rest of the industry, selling 300,000 copies last year. That was all news to me. Until recently, I had assumed Carnegie’s book was. . . .

To read the rest of this review, go to The Washington Post::
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entert...

Interview with Mitch Horowitz about the enduring popularity of Dale Carnegie's book:
https://www.facebook.com/poststyle/vi...

MUST READ | 5/5 ⭐️

Wow, was für ein wichtiges Buch, das ich am liebsten JEDEM in die Hand drücken würde.
Für mehr Liebe und Miteinander in der Welt.
Dale Carnegies Texte enthalten unheimlich wichtige Botschaften, die ich mir zu Herzen nehmen werde.
Gehört für mich in die Kategorie „Könnte lebensverändernd sein“.

3.5 Stars

Carnegie: “[example] used kindness, it was very effective!”

This whole book is Carnegie telling stories about people who could have criticized or been angry but tried the gentle approach instead and somehow it works AMAZING every time. I really appreciate the focus on kindness and positively, especially in avoiding letting appreciation become empty flattery.

But like... at one point Carnegie randomly tells a “plain” acquaintance that she’s capable of greatness... and then sort of takes responsibility for changing her life? Because suddenly she was confident and into skin care and got married. I think men sometimes inflate how important a single compliment is to a woman.

There is a lot of good information on how to use positive reinforcement and “make people want what you want” and a lot of great reminders for dealing with people tho!

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is about communication skills and leadership. It’s an interesting guide about the interpersonal relationship, written in simple words and built on a few pillars. By implementing them you might succeed in your daily life and career. So, if you want to influence people and be a leader this book is essential. At this point it’s worth to say that it is not about manipulation, it is rather about improving your emotional intelligence. Next, if you are the more experienced person you might treat the book as a kind of review of your communication skills, however, if you perceive yourself as a poor communicator and a weak influencer this book might turn your world upside down.

Anyway, the interesting fact is that the book was originally written in 1936 and who knew that something applicable so long ago would be so useful in today’s age. The book is divided into 4 parts which are:

1. Fundamental techniques in handling people
2. 6 ways to make people like you
3. How to win people to your way of thinking
4. How to change people without giving offensive or arousing resentment

Nevertheless, I think that there are 9 takeaways worth mentioning in this review and these are:

1. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests, so the key to this concept is putting yourself in another person’s perspective. It’s about seeing through their eyes, seeing what they want and learning how to align what they want. For instance, if you’d like to convince somebody to something, tell him why it would be great for him not for you. By doing that you have a higher chance to get their attention and acceptance.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation which is something opposite to using flattery. Don’t ask somebody a favour just after making compliments, don’t expect anything in return. Being nice and kind is really great.
3. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. The major point here is exchanging “but” for “and”. So, for example, if your child has just brought a high mark in math by, simultaneously got a lower mark in English don’t tell him that he made a great job, but should catch up with English. Separate these to points clearly by talking about something else.
4. If you are wrong admit it emphatically and without hesitation. If you did it right you would be surprised how the other person, all of a sudden, becomes on your side. He would even make some excuses for you. Avoid arguments.
5. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person. If you know that the idea of somebody else is wrong, tell it honestly and support your statement with your own experience. Do not just tell that something is wrong.
6. Let the other person save his face, which means that if someone made a mistake or they’re wrong never do it in front of a group of people. The other rule is to make your statement responsively and allow the other person to conclude on his own. Never attack.
7. Get the other person saying “Yes, Yes” immediately. Basically speaking it about receiving a few yeses before asking your big-deal question. For instance, if you’d like somebody to accept your project ask him a few questions that should be answered “yes”. Next, when you get a general alignment with your speaker ask you a major question.
8. Let the other person feel that the idea is his own. As people don’t like to feel that they’re being sold something or to admit they’re wrong...(if you like to read my full review please visit my blog https://leadersarereaders.blog/how-to...)