Sometimes I felt this book was a bit too . . . "used-car-salesmanshippy". There are some good ideas in it, but there are also some things which felt like they were extremely disingenuous. I don't like FAKE people. There are some ideas in here which are quite fake.

This is the most boring, tedious, inane book I've ever read. It is a total of 236 pages but the essence could be boiled down to 12 at most. Every chapter, he has one point summarized in a neat box at the end. I skimmed the rest. He gives you six examples when one or two would do. He deliberately repeats himself. He wastes the readers' time.

Do yourself a favor and just read the "In a Nutshell" summary points at the end of each chapter. You won't miss anything.

2024-10-29:
Mind blown: just ask questions - do more of this! Tell me more, tell me about X? How was your day? The 80th anniversary edition page 89-91, Dale Carnegie becomes “the most interesting conversationalist” because he lets the other person talk for 45 minutes and listening intently (clear, sound advice).

2024-08-04: Great book, classic stories. Well grounded principles. Published in 1937 it’s one of the first self-help books and the 80th anniversary edition proves there’s something to it.

“you can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, supposed you triumph over the other man and shoot his arguments full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph and-
A man convinced against his will
is of the same opinion still” page 123
Chapter called “you can’t win an argument”

“‘I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people’, said Schwab, ‘the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.
‘There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticism from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.’” 26

Rockefeller: “The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability, than for any other under the sun.”

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other persons point of view and see things from that persons angle as well as from your own.” 40

“We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing... and nobody else”. 89

“The law is this: always make the other person feel important.” 107

“The way to develop self-confidence, he said, is to do the thing you fear to do and get a record of successful experiences behind you.” 274

• Don't criticize, condemn or complain
t• Give honest and sincere appreciation
t• Arouse in the other person an eager want

Make people like you:
t1. Become genuinely interested in other people
t2. Smile
t3. Remember a persons name: it is the sweetest sound to that person
t4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
t5. Talk in terms of the other persons interest
t6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

How to win people to your way of thinking:
t1. Avoid arguing
t2. Show respect for the other persons opinions. Never say "you're wrong"
t3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
t4. Begin in a friendly way
t5. Get the other person saying "yes", "yes" immediately
t6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
t7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
t8. Try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view
t9. Be sympathetic with the other persons ideas and desires
t10. Appeal to the nobler motives
t11. Dramatize your ideas
t12. Throw down a challenge

Be a leader:
t1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
t2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
t3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
t4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
t5. Let the other person save face
t6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement
t7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
t8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
t9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

2020-05-17 update
Get this book, multiple copies, reread it over and over, give it to other people as a gift. When I read it I instantly find “new” things. Just from the first 26 pages:

t• Never criticize, condemn or complain (3C)
t• Be hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise
t• “Father forgets” don’t be hard on kids
t• People want significance, feeling important
t• “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated
t• Show appreciation
t• Get the other person to want to do it!
t• Criminals always blame others. Top level people never do that
t• “There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.” 19
t• Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise
t• Judge not, that ye be not judged
“Father forgets”, be kind and not to hard on children

Dale, saying people's names often when you're talking to them, Dale, doesn't make you popular, Dale, it makes you sound like a patronizing creep.

This book is probably really handy when you're trying to befriend kindergarteners, not as much adults. It's also aimed at salespeople and not regular humans.

I really liked this book! I feel like I learned SO much about being a good leader, influencing people, and bettering my social skills. I truly think the lessons I learned in this book will stick with me for life. :)

Tiene mucho mérito escribir un libro así en 1936 y es absolutamente necesario ponerlo en el contexto de la época. El uso del lenguaje no está acorde a los cánones del siglo XXI, por ejemplo. Aún así, he aprendido mucho y he de decir que intentaré poner en práctica muchas de las enseñanzas que he leído. Todo es muy útil y está revestido con un ligero toque de ingenuidad.
---------

There is much merit in writing such a book in 1936 and it is absolutely necessary to put it in the context of the time. The use of language is not in keeping with 21st century canons, for example. Still, I have learned a lot and I must say that I will try to put into practice many of the lessons I have read. It is all very useful and overlaid with a slight touch of naivety.

تقریبا ۷۰ درصدش رو گوش دادم ولی بیشتر از این نمی‌تونم.
تکنیک هایی که یاد می‌ده به من احساس خودم نبودن و نارضایتی می‌ده.
به جز این خیلی زیاده‌گویی داره، در کل پسند من نیست.

1 ⭐

Holy hell! Give it a rest, Dale!
(H)Why, oh hwhy, did I read this?! Carnegie’s principles display, boldly, the many wrinkles of their age but it’s not only that; it’s very hard to believe that this book/course was ever considered useful information, nay, even anything beyond laughable, by any self-respecting individual!


To summarise a few select points:

1. Remember, and relentlessly repeat, the victim’s name during conversation. That sweet, sweet nectar that is one’s own name will have them eating out of the palm of your hand.

2. Smile. Preferably a manic, unnerving smile with cheeks quivering and teeth buckling under 1200psi of clench. Hold this smile throughout entire conversation, even hwhile talking. People love a smile!!

3. Shut your piehole! For the love of god NEVER, under any circumstances, talk about something you’re interested in! Speak only of the other person’s interests as if it were the most fascinating thing you’ve ever heard... And do it “genuinely” damn it! Oh, and make them feel really important; lay it on thick, y’know?! “Oh, you’re a woodworking hobbiest and you personally made your office desk from American Hwhite Oak?! Oh Stan, you’re an absolute marvel!! Do take up the next 3.5 hours of my time discussing the finer details of this thrilling pastime, Stan!” or “HAHAHAHA! *maintaining manic smile* Oh Barry, you are literally the funniest and most important person I’ve spoken to in years, Barry! You mean to tell me, Barry, that hwhen it’s a bit quiet in here you just sit and watch all manner of marvelously funny cat videos on youtube?! Splendid! Oh, another? sure I’ve got time! HWhat could be more pressing?! This is just great, you’re great Barry!” Oh, and obviously make sure you do all of this sincerely, we’re not just trying to superficially flatter people here, c’mon whattya take me for?!

4. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically!... Hell, even if you know for sure that you’re not wrong, it couldn’t hurt to act like you might be.

5. Dramatize your ideas. If you sell, say, cash registers for example. Next time you go into the neighborhood grocery store, randomly point out to the owner how positively shit his current cash registers are and explain that he is literally hemorrhaging cash every time he uses them instead of your superior product. Don’t just tell him though, raise your voice and make a scene. Begin throwing coins on the floor and then at the cashier screaming, “Can’t you see you’re literally throwing away money, Gary?!!”. Always use the name Gary, even if you know full well that’s not his/her name.


Self-serving, underhanded and insincere! You can smell the Carnegie training on furniture and used car salesmen from a mile away. Carnegie courses must’ve been like factories churning out greasy, mass-produced slimeballs whose false kindness and counterfeit smiles, rather than achieving the desired level of endearment, come across passive aggressive and condescending to any moderately discerning conversationalist. Just repeatedly, and self-righteously, claiming that you are honest, sincere and most definitely NOT advocating a bag of cheap and flattering tricks, doesn’t make it so... Though, evidently, it does make you rich!

Easy to understand advice for building and improving positive and successful relationships with people in all areas of your life. Not a book per se for making friends, although it certainly can be used that way (with a grain of salt perhaps), but more directly a book that promotes good communication, kindness, and the social skills to foster healthy and productive working relationships.

I can see how some people are taken aback by Carnegie’s advice. You have to be in the right frame of mind to truly gain from this book. Go into it with a reflective approach and a genuine and concentrated effort to gain wisdom and you will be rewarded with the insights to achieve the goodwill of others as well as solid and lasting relationships.

خفيف وحلو ومفهوش حشو
القصص المذكورة تعلم حاجات كتير مش بس التعامل مع الناس، و خصوصاً الجزء الأخير يعلمك ازاى تتعامل مع الحياة و ازاى تتعامل مع شغلك حتى لو بتشتغله غصباً عنك.. ولو مش عارفة معظم الكلام و بطبق اللي أقدر عليه منه من زمان كنت انبهرت بالكتاب؛ لذلك هو عايز حد مبتدئ ف التنمية أو معندوش خلفية عن حاجات كتيرة ومشافش كتير أو صغير ف السن مثلاً ف الكتاب هيفيده

اضايقت من بعض النصايح و اللي شوفتها بشكل شخصي هتظلمني و محتاجة تطبق بتوازن أكتر من الشكل اللي وصلني من طريقة كلام الكاتب.. ماهو اللي هيظلم نفسه مين هينصفه!!!
سلااام

أجمل شيء في الكتاب أنه يعطيك تمارينًا خفيفة في نهاية كل فصل (أنصح به للمراهقين) :)

Douchey crap, overall. There should, that is, be no need for a text that argues one should actually listen to what others say or that sometimes criticism and complaints get on people's nerves.

Other items, such as stating one's interlocutor's name with frequency, is just manifestly obsequious, and constantly smiling is plain oleaginous, a recipe for resting douchebag face.