As a seasoned individual who has benefited from the timeless wisdom of this book. I can attest to its enduring relevance in today's fast-paced world.
The audiobook edition brings Carnegie's insights to life with a level of warmth and authenticity that resonates deeply with listeners. n  How to Win Friends & Influence People - Audiobook Editionn It's best book ever!

What truly resonates with me about this book is its practicality. Carnegie's principles, though simple in concept, offer profound insights into the art of building genuine relationships and influencing others positively.

From the importance of showing genuine appreciation to the power of active listening, Carnegie's teachings have had a transformative impact on how I navigate both personal and professional interactions.

With thousands of positive reviews and a 5-star rating, it's evident that Carnegie's principles continue to stand the test of time and resonate with readers of all ages.

I dig it. As someone who has a digital audience of more than a million people, but still can't seem to get through a regular conversation without cringing in real life, this book was useful.

It's not revolutionary information, and it does seem to be geared towards salesmen or political types - but I've used some of the ideas discussed in the book with people close to me and I feel like a better listener/partner/friend because of it.

I won't apply every single idea in my real life, but I'm sure I'll read it again and gain some other little tidbit that'll be useful in my every day life.

This book is garbage, and it pains me that it's so pervasive and so many people rave about it. Read it, and you'll learn to be a sycophant whose cheerful pandering will inspire others to do whatever it is you want. Maybe salespeople or those working in the dregs of corporate America will find this book useful. I can't help but wonder how much this book has contributed to extroverted people being overvalued in the workplace.

A while back I went through a phase of collecting classic self improvement books, just for fun, as conversation pieces, but I did actually give them more than a flip through.
This one was a very quick read and quite some time ago but, even so, several things have stayed with me ever since.
One of them being the lesson on how to bring a natural smile to your face when you are just about to meet, and greet, someone for the first time. I can't say that this has led me to winning and influencing people to any extent at all, but it does help me to recall a lovely memory, that was used as a device to bring on that smile.
In doing this review I just noticed that there is an updated version on winning and influencing people in the digital age, I might just take a glance at what he suggests.

4.5 stars

There are some books which you can call classic in the true sense. Particularly this books has much to offer for every reader. The facts and stories presented in the book are awesome. Every chapter leads us to a better person. While reading this, after finishing every chapter I felt rejuvented and motivated. If anyone tries to stick with the principles described in the book, I don't think he is going to have any troubles in his future.

Overall:
A well written book with a lot of examples, including many of good folks from the history and many without any citation, but none-the-less seem real. The examples are written so that the message goes across well. Repetition is avoided. The stuff mentioned is pretty obvious and simple, but important and often ignored. Worth reading multiple times as the preface recommends.

TEXT DELETED

105tSIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
PRINCIPLE 2: Smile
PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely.
110tYou cannot win an argument
Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle. Don’t forget this lesson!
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument—and that is to avoid it.
You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will always resent your triumph and “a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still…”
112tWhich would you rather have, an academic theatrical victory or a person’s good will? You can seldom have both.
Buddha said, “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,” and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation, and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.
Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cute the bite.
114tHow to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
1.tWelcome the disagreement: Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
2.tDistrust your first instinctive impressions: Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not at your best.
3.tControl your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
4.tListen first; Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend, or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
5.tLook for areas of agreement: When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
6.tBe honest: Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
7.tPromise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully: and mean it! Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
8.tThank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to adisagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.
9.tPostpone actions to give both sides time to think through the problem: Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear to preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions.
Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, what the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

MORE LATER...

At the end of the Great Depression, Dale Carnegie wrote one of the benchmark self-help books of American literary history. He encapsulated the formula to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” in the midst of a market downturn, to put it mildly. His title, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was probably used to win and influence book sales rather than cleverly and accurately describe the content of his book. Simply, it is a misnomer. With chapters on considerate social intercourse and sincerely understanding the opponent’s point of view, he is a herald of the golden rule. But Carnegie gives you a 10 step program to follow (the Ten Commandments must have been too vague).

I guess the whole idea is that when you are agreeable, intellectual, considerate, proper, quick, thoughtful and strong, people will go out of their way to be nice to you and do you favors. That social axiom is my particular beef with self-help books in general. But of all self-help authors, Carnegie outlines it fairly and motivationally. He must have been a courageously dynamic speaker—he sold his seminars for a thousand a pop, back then! But with uninterrupted sales since the late 30s and over 15 million copies sold worldwide, Carnegie’s book is well worth the read…or the skim.

This was really the world's first self-help book and undoubtedly helped many people build their self-esteem. It is easy to read and its tenants are easy to follow. The one criticism that many have justly laid on it is the feeling that you are manipulating people into being your friends or accomplices (thus the "win" in the title). As such, the techniques work with a subpopulation of people you run into over the span of your life nut certainly not all of them. And true friendships are about depth and mutual respect so no techniques are required. A more appropriate use of the book is how to behave and fit in in corporate America and for that, other than losing the tie and the hat, manners and ambitions have not changed so much for the book to become irrelevant. I prefer Getting Things Done personally.

„Aš pažinojau Pitą Barlon. Pitas vaidino su šunimis bei poniais ir visą gyvenimą keliavo, rengdamas cirko ir vodevilio pasirodymus. Man patikdavo, kaip Pitas dresiruodavo šunis savo vaidinimui. Aš pastebėjau, kad už menkiausią šuns pažangą Pitas patapšnodavo jam per kaklą, pagirdavo, duodavo mėsos ir visaip rodydavo savo pasitenkinimą.
Toks elgesys ne naujas. Gyvulių dresiruotojai nuo amžių taip elgiasi.
Man keista, kodėl mes, norėdami pakeisti žmones, nesinaudojame tokiu patikrintu metodu, kaip ir dresiruodami šunis. Kodėl mes nepasiūlome mėsos vietoj botago? Kodėl mes smerkiame vietoj to, kad girtume? Pagirkime net už menkiausią pažangą. Tai paskatins ir toliau tobulėti.
Kalėjimo viršininkas Luji E. Los mano, kad apsimoka girti ir tada, kai kokią nors pažangą padaro nusikaltėliai, sėdintys Sing Singe. „Aš manau, – rašo Los laiške, kurį gavau rašydamas šį skyrių, – kad parodydami kaliniams, jog deramai įvertiname jų pastangas, gausime žymiai geresnių rezultatų, negu šaltai kritikuodami ir smerkdami už nusižengimus – pasieksime, kad jie bendradarbiautų su mumis, pagreitinsime jų visišką reabilitavimą“.
Aš niekada nekalėjau Sing Singe, tačiau peržvelgdamas savo paties gyvenimą, aš prisimenu keletą pagyrimo žodžių, smarkiai pakeitusių visa mano ateitį. Tikriausiai ir jūsų gyvenime yra buvę panašių dalykų. Istorijoje pilna pavyzdžių, patvirtinančių, kokius stebuklus daro pagyrimas.
Pavyzdžiui, prieš pusšimtį metų Neapolio fabrike dirbo dešimties metų berniukas. Jis svajojo tapti dainininku, tačiau pirmasis jo mokytojas apvylė jį sakydamas: „Tu negali dainuoti, tu visiškai neturi balso… Jis skamba tarsi vėjas skersgatvyje“.
Tačiau jo motina, neturtinga valstietė, apkabino sūnų, pagyrė ir pasakė žinanti, kad jis gali dainuoti, kad net jaučiama šiokia tokia pažanga. Ji vaikščiojo basa, kad sutaupytų pinigų muzikos pamokoms. Motinos pagyrimas ir padrąsinimas pakeitė berniuko gyvenimą. Tikriausiai girdėjote apie jį. Jo vardas Karuzo.

Prieš daugelį metų vienas Londono jaunuolis troško tapti rašytoju. Tačiau jam labai nesisekė. Jis tik ketverius metus tegalėjo lankyti mokyklą. Jo tėvas už skolas pateko į kalėjimą, ir jaunuoliui dažnai tekdavo badauti. Pagaliau jis gavo darbą – klijavo etiketes ant batų tepalo dėžučių žiurkių pilname rūsyje. Naktį jis miegodavo ankštoje palėpėje drauge su dviem beglobiais Londono vaikėzais. Jis taip nepasitikėjo savo gabumais rašyti, kad pirmąjį rankraštį išsiuntė slapta, vėlyvą naktį, kad niekas iš jo nesijuoktų. Vieną po kito atmesdavo visus jo apsakymus. Pagaliau atėjo didžioji diena, kai vieną apsakymą išspausdino. Tiesa, už tai jam nesumokėjo nė šilingo, bet redaktorius pagyrė. Jis gavo redaktoriaus pripažinimą ir taip susijaudino, kad be jokio tikslo vaikštinėjo gatvėmis, šluostydamas riedančias per skruostus ašaras.
Pagyrimas ir pripažinimas, kurių jis sulaukė atspausdinus vienintelį apsakymą, pakeitė visa jo gyvenimą. Jei nebūtų buvę to padrąsinimo, jis galbūt visa gyvenimą taip ir būtų pradirbęs darbininku fabrike. Gal girdėjote ir apie šį berniuką. Jis – Čarlzas Dikensas.
Prieš pusę amžiaus kitas berniukas dirbo klerku Londono pramoninių prekių parduotuvėje. Jam reikėjo keltis penktą valandą, išplauti parduotuvę – sunkiai dirbti po keturiolika valandų per dieną. Tai buvo katorgiškas darbas, ir jis jo nekentė. Praėjus dvejiems metams, jis jau visiškai nebegalėjo ištverti, todėl atsikėlęs vieną rytą ir net nesulaukęs pusryčių, nuėjo penkiolika mylių pasikalbėti su savo motina, dirbančia ekonome.
Jis buvo paklaikęs. Jis maldavo jos ir verkė. Grasino nusižudysiąs, jei reikės ir toliau dirbti toje parduotuvėje. Po to jis parašė ilgą patetišką laišką savo senam mokytojui ir pareiškė, kad jis labai sielvartauja ir nenori gyventi. Mokytojas šiek tiek pagyrė jį, įtikinėjo, kad jis labai protingas, jautrus grožiui, ir pasiūlė stengtis gauti mokytojo vietą.
Šis pagyrimas pakeitė berniuko ateitį ir turėjo įtakos visai anglų literatūros istorijai. Tas jaunuolis paraše septyniasdešimt septynias knygas ir savo plunksna užsidirbo milijonus dolerių. Jus tikriausiai girdėjote apie tą berniuką. Jo vardas H.D. Velsas.
O dabar paklausykite, ką padarė velionis profesorius Viljamas Džeimsas, ko gero pats žymiausias Amerikos psichologas ir filosofas:
„Mes esame toli gražu ne tokie, kokie turėtume būti. Mes panaudojame tik mažą savo fizinių ir protinių resursų dalį. Kitaip tariant, žmogiškasis individas iki šiol gyvena labai susiaurintame savo galimybių rate. Jis turi įvairiausių sugebėjimų, kuriais nepasinaudoja“.
Taip, ir jūs, šios knygos skaitytojai, turite tokių sugebėjimų, kurių nepanaudojate, ir vienas iš tokių sugebėjimų – tai jūsų magiškas sugebėjimas pagirti žmones ir paskatinti juos atskleisti savo paslėptas galimybes.
Jei norite paveikti žmones, neįžeisdami ir nesukeldami pasipiktinimo, laikykitės šeštosios taisyklės:
Girkite žmones net už pačią menkiausią pažangą, nuoširdžiai pripažinkite kitų privalumus.“

لنتذكر خلال معاملتنا مع الآخرين اننا لا نتعامل مع مخلوقات منطقية، بل نتعامل مع مخلوقات عاطفية، ذات أنفس مليئة بالأهواء و والكبرياء والغرور.

2023-11-02 I am rereading this book again after too long a lapse. I love this book and am highlighting many memorable sections. This Kindle edition published by Namaskar Books was only $1, (due to the original version being out of copyright) and it seems to have all the original (and some newer?) content. Love the price and it appears to be a good bargain. But of course there are typo issues...

19 Sept. 2017
I am writing this review now, since I realized I had not yet done that here in Goodreads, but thought so highly of the book that I really should.

I first read this book toward the end of or just after college, in the 70s. I remember my Sociology professor, who was a great lecturer, but had some terrible ideas, disparaging the book in a snide, offhand manner. I think I picked up an old pb copy of the book to see if it had any worthwhile ideas on the title topic. Since my first job out of college was in sales and I wanted to be able to do my best, it seemed like a good fit.

I was amazed at how good it was. Funny. Wise. Easy to read. Very straight-forward. Giving tons of different kinds of tips to achieve the goal. Honest. Powerful. Wonderful.

I think I have read it about two-three times (completely, and many more times just rereading certain sections) in the intervening years and given away or recommended the book to scores of people. My old boss and friend recently told me that for the last 10+ years, he gave it to and required that each new employee read it. I think I was the one who introduced him to the book about 30+ years ago.

The book has sold millions of copies and gone through many editions. It is clear to me why it has achieved enduring success since it was first published in the 30s: To those who read it, pay attention and use it's lessons. It will improve your life AND those around you. It is NOT an "I win you lose" philosophy and technique. It is a truly "win/win" philosophy, and that is what irks the socialists, since their philosophy is built on coercion - a win/lose philosophy/worldview.

What more can one say?

2021-05-16, 2022-07-13 - updated and modified.

A couple extra thoughts:
1. The philosophy in the book, that one needs to pay attention to and cater to the ideas and requests of the people you want to influence or be friends with is pretty sound, but can be taken too far. It is not an absolute, especially if the person you are trying to influence holds bad ideas or bad goals. One must always be true to oneself and the truth.

2. For those who are interested in the basic benefits of the principle of persuasion, as taught in this book vs. the opposite principle - force/coercion, I recommend checking out several different websites, authors & organizations:
Ludwig Mises
Ayn Rand
The Foundation for Economic Education
The Atlas Society
The Future of Freedom Foundation
Reason Foundation/Magazine/Website
or many other libertarian groups.