2.5 *

Phen này mà không được 20 bạn donate booktalk chắc tui bỏ sự nghiệp phân tích sách luôn quá.

Dù sự nghiệp mới có nhú lên chút xíu.

Phải rất nỗ lực, đánh lạc hướng bản thân, kiên nhẫn lắm mới đọc xong được cuốn này để ngày mai làm Lật sách.

Ôi hỡi ôi, bán chạy nhất thế giới...

I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It's an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways.

So, the book wasn't total garbage. As I said above, it had some good advice about the subject of win friends and influence people although there was a lot of filler in order to make his principle into a book. Some examples were really interesting others a bit ridiculous.

One of the problems I had with the author and one I find too often in self-help books is the condescending tone, the ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved.

It was an interesting read, I learn some useful skills but it isn't groundbreaking anymore in my opinion.

This was about two things that don't interest me. At the time, I picked it up for the business perspective but I don't think I ever finished it.

*****

2/5/2017

That sounds so anti-social I want to briefly annotate. I favor an alternative philosophy of being genuine. You will likely yield fewer friends of higher quality and perhaps be less successful but I think it will ultimately result in a higher quality of life.

Other than that, this book does have practical advice on business etiquette.

5 Sterne für Wie man Freunde gewinnt.

Ich verstehe durchaus die Kritiken, die behaupten, dass Buch würde einen nur Werte vermitteln die man sowieso anwenden sollte oder Dinge, die eher als Schleimen zu betiteln waren.

Ich hingegen habe mich teilweise an Werte erinnert Gefühlt und Methoden gezeigt Situationen wie Streitigkeiten oder den Umgang mit Kindern besser zu verstehen beziehungsweise Situationen besser zu lösen. Das Buch hat definitiv nicht mein Leben verändert, hat mir aber Spaß gemacht und mich wie bereits erwähnt an Werte erinnert. Zudem ist es gerade im Berufsleben wahnsinnig praktisch Methoden aus diesem Buch anzuwenden.

Lol this title doesn’t beat around the bush. Just straight up “this is what I’m going to teach you”

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This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and "win friends" but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time.

It might sound like a harmless, or even attractive idea in theory, but choosing to apply it in your every day life can lead to dangerous results. Case in point: after being a smiley happy person with loads of friends for about a year, the unpleasant realization began to creep in, that by being so agreeable to everybody else, I rarely ever got my way. I also sustained friendships with people who were self-centered, so talking about their interests was all we got to do together, which drained me of my energy. The worst thing still, is that by trying to find something to like about every person, I completely disregarded their glaring faults. It didn't matter that those people did have redeeming qualities - they weren't redeeming enough! I ended up with a bunch of friends I didn't really want and, because I was so preoccupied with "winning" those friendships I missed out on the chance to form relationships with good people.

I suppose, for somebody who is a better judge of character, the principles outlined in this book *could* be of some value. But that's really just me trying to find something positive (using the "principles") in a book that I am still trying to UNlearn.

If you want to win friends, you have to do it the hard way, by being yourself and risking rejection (and daring to do some rejection of your own, as well). And if you want to influence people the only fair way to do it is through honesty. All the rest is manipulation and pretending. Do not read this book, you'll only learn how to manipulate yourself & others. Do not read it out of fear of rejection & low self-esteem, there are better ways to gain some courage in approaching people. This will harm you in the long run.

Thank you for reading this review.

This book is a life changer ! Really, I'm not making this up. This was exactly what I needed. Some things that are described in this book I realized before reading this book, but there were a lot of things I never thought about myself but are so true. I don't like conflicts and I found a lot of tips in this book about this topic..so how not to be in fights with people. Yaaay, my zen is safe! =)

3.25 stars

A phenomenal read for people interested in psychology and and business strategies, this book seeks out to teach you three things: make people like you, win them over to your way of thinking, and be a leader. I think it accomplishes all of those goals. Using clear examples, and giving realistic advice related to applying the methods in real life.

For example, I never realised the connection between how we train our pets vs how we "train" our children. The dog is always rewarded with a treat after doing something correct, yet a child is rarely rewarded, their reward is undermined, or they are belittled when doing something wrong. This book is filled with these various connections. The writing made it easy to read and the little summaries at the end of each segment (listed in first sentence) are very useful for looking back on what you learned (which I definitely will).

The one downside to this novel that I encountered, however, was a major one. This book dragged. It is only 300 pages, I know, but it still dragged (not in the writing department, but in the content department). Many of the ideas he was putting forth, especially in the latter third of the book, were recycled previous ideas. Because of this, I actually got bored and wanted to jump ahead to see what the next chapter would be about. Of course, I didn't skip entire segments of the text, but I felt like I was reading the same things over and over, just with slightly different phrasings. Maybe it would have worked better to have subsections in some of the chapters and make the connections there?

Nevertheless, I am so grateful to have read this book. People interested in marketing, business, and psychology would probably enjoy it more than me and get more lessons out of it to apply in real life. For those, I especially highly recommend this.

*book completed as part of the March non-fiction challenge

There's actually some pretty decent advice here that sort of stands the test of time.



But like most self-help books, a lot of the advice doesn't work in every situation and/or is just flat-out situational.



I also think the winning friends part of the book is less about having true friendships than about how to win over a room or how to convince people to see things your way. I wouldn't think that smiling and being agreeable, which is great on the surface and a good way to behave in general, would lend itself to creating strong intimate relationships.
Everyone (whether they admit it or not) likes to see a bit of piss and vinegar in the personalities of their friends and lovers.



My two favorite pieces of advice were these:
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
The author points out that when you humiliate someone their first instinct is to double down and try to prove that whatever they did or are doing is valid. It doesn't matter how right you are, the vast majority of people don't respond to criticism well at all.



The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
So true. Even if you win, you lose because that person will (once again) be humiliated and not be receptive to what you are trying to do. You may be completely right, but you're just shooting yourself in the dick by getting into the pissing match to start with.



You can smugly be right, or you can swallow that pride and choose to get things done. If you want results, try to put yourself in the other person's place and use a softer hand. No one likes to be embarrassed.



Really the gist of everything this book talks about is just that you need to put yourself in the place of the person you need to win over. What do they want? <--probably recognition and compensation. What would they like to hear? <--praise over what they've done well will likely go a long way to smoothing over any hurt feelings when you discuss what you would like them to do differently.



It also talks about giving sincere compliments and just being the sort of person who de-escalates bad situations. However, as most people already know, it's impossible (and sort of stupid) to be that person all the time or in every situation. Obviously, there will be times that you need to put your foot down and be firm about what you want. I think this book is just saying that you should try the nice way first.



Now I listened to a revised version, so some of the situations presented were updated. I didn't realize this was what I had until Stevie Wonder and a computer company were both used as various examples for something or other. I was like...1930what?! I don't think so.
I would love-love to read the original text in all of its (I'm sure) outdated glory, but I suppose that will have to wait for another day.



I wasn't expecting to find this such a readable (listenable?) book, but I had no trouble getting through it at all.

Andrew Macmillian - Narrator

كتاب مسلي وحسنته الوحيدة إنه كان بيساعدني على النوم :"D

ممل بس
انا اصلا لا مهتم أكسب اصدقاء ولا أثر فالناس : )

This is a sad book. A book that aims to turn us into manipulating individuals who would want to achieve their means through flattery and other verbal-mental tricks. Even technically, it seems to me that the ploys' in this book would never really work.

Here is a quote from the book -
“Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”

And what does the book do? It tries, or at least pretends to turn you into a someone who would flatter everything that moves – so that you get - WHAT YOU WANT.

Most of us read so that we are inspired, moved, even shocked or atleast entertained by stories. We also read so that we understand better and stretch the possibilities of our minds and hearts, to be better human beings. We definitely do not read to become conniving ugly creatures to be held prisoners by our greed. And come on get a grip – this is essentially a sales book.