Saramago, aşığım.

Kitabın içinde barındırdığı beylik laflarla instagram’da kişisel gelişim tadında bir sayfa açılabilir.
Onun dışında çıtır çerez bir kitap. Yazar farklı nir yazım tarzı denemiş. Güzel olmuş gibimsi.

“Se non esci da te stesso, non puoi sapere chi sei…”
Ogni uomo è un’isola sconosciuta. Finché quest’isola sconosciuta prende il mare, alla ricerca di se stessa.
Un viaggio che riserva molte sorprese. Un viaggio dove il sogno è potente e reale. E non importa se sei a babordo o a tribordo, puoi persino svegliarti e trovare un’ombra accanto alla tua.
Poche pagine che portano dal sorriso alla poesia più delicata e pura.

Grazie José. Come sempre le tue parole non sono solo ciò che sembrano.

My least favourite Saramago. Still, it was worth reading.

"Beğenmek, sahip olmanın en iyi şekli, sahip olmaksa beğenmenin en kötü şekli olsa gerek"

Love is probably the best way to have; it is surely the worst way to love.

This book was here for me in a dark time. I absolutely adored it, it is beautiful. Now, a quick change of subject:

Thoughts from war: 

- I am finally functioning. Two weeks. Two weeks of my life burned by grief. I've finally woken up. Hello, life. I've missed you. 

- My international friends ask if I'm okay. I don't like the war version of myself. I try being polite (I'm fine, my family is fine, thank you). I try dramatic (my future feels destroyed, everything is horrific). I try politics (donate to these causes if you're a good person). I try honesty (today I played with cats and felt guilty for being able to laugh). Nothing works. 

- Yesterday, I said the sentence, "it's okay if you have nothing to say, this is not a normal situation" and felt relief, for a second. It's okay if you don't know what to say. It's okay that I also don't know what to say. 

- In 2021, perhaps even somewhere here on Goodreads, I said that Israel's policy regarding Gaza is dumb because it's indecisive. We have always had two options: 
1. We recognize that we're okay with Hamas governing Gaza and then we begin to work towards a solution with them. 
2. We recognize Hamas is unacceptable and work towards dismantling and disarming it. 

And so, despite all of the pain, I'm happy to see that Israel has made a decision. Years of war wasted by Israel's lack of decision, a horrendous massacre was the price but finally, a decision. This decision will take years to implement but it's the right strategic step. 

- The one thing I have done every day is comment in a group of 600 Europeans. I cannot stop. I know that this is a defense mechanism. I cannot face the emotions so I lean into academics. I'll demolish your claim of ethnic cleansing, I'll make you feel stupid for ever thinking you know anything about the Middle East, I'll be so fucking polite you will feel horrendous when you realize I could die. Anything and everything so that I don't have to face it: this is real. 

- I'm so proud to be an Israeli. I've never been this proud. We are so beautiful. We make tiktok videos calling Hamas jerkfaces, finding the best puns about Houthis (strings, in Hebrew). No places left to volunteer, lines everywhere, we all want to give. Our diversity is our superpower. You messed with LGBT+ soldiers voguing just as much as you messed with polygameous Bedouins. From Rachel from Ofakim to Yair Golan, I believe in us. In our chutzpah, in our sarcasm, in our hatred of Israel that is only overshadowed by our stubbornness, no, you don't get it. 

- And I'm ashamed to be an Israeli, to find ourselves once again destroying houses and pleading from people abroad to see that terrorist organizations don't care about human life. Fumbling our way through English, debating about international law as if it's halacha.

- But if this is how WW3 starts, so fucking be it. I always knew Jerusalem is the center of the world. 

- For all of my life, I have been proud of lacking skills for war- I am not a combat soldier and my skills do not lie in the taking of life. But now? As my family and I ponder where we'll go if a terrorist enters our house, I wish, for the first time, that I had more skills. 

- Most Israelis don't follow what happens in Gaza but I do. I see the mothers crying, I see the dead. I see much fake news but a lot of very real news. I know a tragedy when I see one. And I wish for a way out but I also read enough Palestinian literature to know that there's no way out, not until there is the realization that Israel cannot be bested militarily.

- There are moments that will stay with me for my entire lifetime, here are some of them:

Saturday morning, I wake up to my mother shouting that there are missiles. I try to go back to sleep but she doesn't stop, forcing me to see that yes, this requires getting up. In our staircase, huddling against missiles, going back and forth from home to safety, my neighbor offers us kugel.

It's late at night, I see an image of a beheaded Israeli. I stay up for more hours.

I'm outside for the first time. A person walks past me and my brain tells me they're holding a riffle. They're not but I'm thrown back to what I've seen, to Hamas terrorists shooting people in the street, streets that look much like mine. My heart is beating so fast.

I start asking people around me how they feel when they hear fighter jets above our head. Safe, he says, it makes me feel protected. Scared, this is what makes me remember we're at war, that everything is happening outside of our control. Anxious. Secure. Worried. Bold.

I can't sum up a big statement. Don't advocate for a ceasefire, you are dooming Israelis and Palestinians to a lifetime of Hamas. Do advocate for responsibility, for strategic thinking, for future accountability, for the preservation of as much life as possible. Do advocate for cooperation and collaboration. Do listen to as many people, do be aware of fake news, false news, biased news.

"Beğenmek, sahip olmanın en iyi şekli, sahip olmaksa beğenmenin en kötü şekli olsa gerek."
"Kendinden dışarı çıkıp kendine bakmadıkça kim olduğunu asla bilemezsin."

"...Que é necessário sair da ilha para ver a ilha, que não nos vemos se não saímos de nós..."

José Saramago traz nesse delicioso conto uma metáfora sobre a nossa busca pelo desconhecido, por nossos sonhos e por nos conhecermos melhor.

Assim como pra você conhecer melhor uma ilha, precisa olhá-la de fora, também precisa se ver de fora pra se conhecer por inteiro.

Se lee en menos de media hora.
Los diálogos entre personajes están en un mismo párrafo separados por puntos, a veces por comas. Una forma distinta de exponerlos que te hace pensar más a la hora de identificar al portavoz de esas palabras. Sin duda, uno de los efectos que te conquistan del libro.
Pocas páginas, pero muy filosóficas. Arenas movedizas para mí, pues no soy la mejor interpretando, pero me quedo con la búsqueda de uno mismo, y que a veces es más importante el camino que haces hacia "la isla desconocida" que la propia isla.
Lo que más me ha gustado: la puerta de las decisiones. Aquella que una vez traspasada, no se puede volver atrás.

* Bazı ilaçlar vardır, hemen kana karışmaz. Kademeli olarak çözünür ve kandaki yoğunluğu / konsantrasyonu bir sonraki ilaç vaktine kadar sabit kalır. Bu tür ilaçların etkisi uzun sürer. Bazı kitaplar da vardır, kısa sürede okunur ama akıldaki yoğunluğu/etkisi bir sonraki kitaba kadar hep aynı kalır; tıpkı "Bilinmeyen Adanın Öyküsü"nde olduğu gibi.

** Okuyan herkesin farklı şeyler bulduğu bir kitaptır; 9 yaşındaki yeğenime masal niyetine okumuştum, "bazen öyle güç hayallerin peşine düşeriz ki, burnumuzun ucundaki gerçeklerin farkına bile varmayız" demişti, temizlikçi kadının uzun süre adam tarafından fark edilmemesini kastederek. Bense farklı birşeyler yakalamıştım, "denizci olmayan cesur bir denizcinin, kendini arama cesareti" olarak algılamıştım, tüm olanaksızlıklara rağmen hayallerin peşinden gidilmesi gerektiğini düşünerek. Eminim okuduğunuzda siz de farklı birşeyler yakalayacaksınız; çünkü ucu açık bir masaldır.

*** Tüm algılarınız açıkken ve hayal gücünüz zirve yapmışken okumanızı öneririm, ve mümkünse henüz hiçbir biçim verilmemiş, sahibinden az kullanılmış bir beyne sahip bir ufaklıkla beraber okumanızı. Bitirince de kitaptan ne anladığınızı o ufaklıkla konuşun/tartışın. Aradaki fark, biçimlenmemiş bir benlikle, kendisi olmaktan uzak bir benlik arasındaki fark kadardır. İyi okumalar...


"Kendinden dışarı çıkıp kendine bakmadıkça kim olduğunu asla bilemezsin." (kitaptan bir alıntı)