This book has some helpful hints for improving your parent-child relationship based on each individual's temperament, and is a nice refresher on the concept of the "5 Love Languages." However, the book went on and on and on, and spent a fair amount of time on teenagers. It was hard for me to stay focused since I have two kids under age 5 and I felt it lacked content for this age group. In addition, it was full of religious undertones that I wasn't expecting. I am not Christian so I found this annoying.

3.5 Stars This had a lot of good information and helped me to see what my children's love languages are, but I think it could have been half the length. I felt like they added extra chapters at the end, especially the one for single parents and the children of divorce horror stories, just to fill up the pages.

Popsugar Challenge 2020 - A book with a made-up language

While I enjoyed the original Five Love Languages book when I read it several years ago, by the time I got to chapter 9 in this one, I had to stop reading it.

Firstly, the anecdotes and quotes from children in this book frequently sound fake. Particularly the quotes, where I repeatedly found myself thinking, "Most kids that age don't speak like this..."

Secondly, the level of sexism veering into misogyny and shaming that is leveled towards parents in this book is unacceptable to me. I'm not even in (some of) the groups this is directed at and it was still insulting. I can't imagine how some of my friends who do fall into those groups would feel at being told that because they didn't stay in an abusive marriage their children's emotional health and learning would be harmed *potentially irreparably.* That's a shameful thing to say in a book that is supposed to be intended to help parents.

Finally, the author doesn't even get very basic behavioral concepts correct in the behavior modification/discipline chapter. I've worked in the behavior field with children for over a decade and have a master's degree in the subject. The definitions of positive/negative reinforcement and discipline are extremely basic concepts in my field and I know them well. And the definitions and examples in this book, particularly for negative reinforcement and positive punishment, are quite simply entirely incorrect. If these authors were unable to get these very basic behavioral concepts correct, then quite frankly they had no business publishing a book on the topic.

I really enjoyed the content--how to apply, recognize, and meet the needs of your children's love languages. My son and husband have virtually opposite needs as my daughter and I do, and I struggle to express l or in the ways that mean most to them. I think this would make a great book club discussion book!

I found this book tremendously helpful in dealing with my second child. It feels like we have been having difficulty with her for years, but in the few weeks since I finished this book and made a few changes based on her love language things have really turned around. I find it has also helped with my other children, but the difference has been most notable with my oldest girl. It has even led to some interesting discussions between my husband and I. We already speak each others love languages fairly well, but this has enabled us to let each other know our needs more clearly.

The five love languages all seem rather obvious when reading the book, but Chapman puts it all together so that a light bulb goes off and you can implement the obvious to make a real difference in your life.

لقد شاركت عدة مقتطفات من كتاب مع اصدقائي من شدة إعجاب به.لن أتحدث عن مفهوم لغات الحب الخمسة التي طرحها .لانني قرأت كتابه فكنت متوقعة .
الذي أعجبني في هذا الكتاب هي الفصول الاخيرة المتعلقة ب
التأديب و العقاب
الحب و الغضب
السلوك العدواني و العصيان
كيف تتعامل مع الالام الفقد لدى الاطفال و العيش في بيت ذات والد واحد.
هذه أسئلة اتعرض لها برشا في محيط العمل أو في محيط أسري بالاعتبار أنني إخصائية في رعاية الصحية للأطفال كنت اقدم اجوبة الحمد الله كانت صائبة .مستعينة بالدراسة و بما قرأت
لكن هذا الكتاب جعلتني انتبه لجزئية املأ الخزان بالحب ثم تعال و نحدث عن سلوك طفل سئ أو تاديب طفل.
و جزئية تعامل مع غضب الأطفال

أرشج لكل شخص مهتم بتربية عسى أن نكون أكثر وعيًا

9/juin/21❤

I love these books. Something so simple but so true. I had my nine year old take the test and discovered I wasn't meeting his true language, quality time!! These books really open your eyes to how you give love and how others like to receive love.

I feel this book is an absolutely must if you have children or plan to have children. This book really shows how to translate your love in the way that children will understand. Not all children feel love the way you do or they same way as another child. Parents tend to think that if they treat their children the same, they will respond the same. This is not always the case. I am so happy to have read this book. I can already see positive changes in our relationship.

Disclaimer. I stopped reading this book before finishing the first chapter (touch). I couldn’t bring myself to continue. This book is incredibly gendered. Without citing any research, the author makes broad sweeping claims about how “girls feel the need to be valued as teens and so seek physical affection” while “boys withdraw from physical touch”. While there may be some accuracy here, there is no acknowledgement of outliers, nor is there explanation that society, bias, and acculturation play an enormous role in interpretation and expression of behaviors. And again, no research cited. Couldn’t finish, would not recommend.

3.5 stars. Informative and a quick read.

The original Five Love Languages is still my favorite version, but I wanted one that would help me identity the love languages of my children so I can more effectively express my love to them.

It’s much more difficult to pinpoint a child’s love language, but this book gives some ideas on how to do so. If you’ve read the original version already, as I have, there is repetition as to what the 5 love languages are.

There is a chapter focused on how parents can help children impacted by divorce or in single parent families.

There is a section on helping children appropriately process anger, and this was the most beneficial chapter, in my opinion.

Ug. Useful but yuk.
I probably could have skipped the second half of the book and been much happier and still gotten everything out of it.

There was much in here that was so awful. But at the same time? I love the framework and it’s really useful to me.
So I’m glad to have read it. And it really does help me in life with family and just generally with people I love.

But... a bit of a rant. After this read I need a palate cleanser for all the conservative, pro-spanking, it’s-ok-for-boys-to-not-respect-sexual-girls bull crap. But then it came back with nice bits about being kind to others and using your anger instead of being mean and that’s lovely. But then it goes back on about the straw man history teacher who needs to be taught to not be mean to Christian icons (and openly personally insulting to students and even worse THEIR FAITH. Dun dun dun.). Apparently that’s a conservative stereotype of how teachers treat religion? Sigh. But then it’s nice that he’s supportive of single patenting and divorced parents. But... Though it’s nice that he switches between she and he pronouns for kids throughout don’t expect any mention of queer family of any type. I don’t think there was a stay home dad either. There were positive working women characters at least? I know you weren’t expecting any other pronouns. Neither was I. And I wasn’t even expecting queer people. Fine. Ok. Sure. A bit of casual sexism sprinkles? That’s baked into society. But who expects suggestions of corporal punishment mixed in with the suggestions to be kind?? Not me. Yuk. So, so very many parts made me feel unwelcome in this text. /endrant

So! I still recommend reading through chapter 6 or 7... then skipping the worst of the heavy handed “conservative” “Christianity.” I think the original book has less awfulness mixed in, but is more centered on romantic relationships. This one is nice in having more varied non romantic family love depictions and examples. Ymmv

An important caveat: I do not read parenting books. In eight years of parenting and having probably read 500+ books in that time, I have read two. This is the second. I offer this as a warning that my review cannot be well informed in regards to the genre, only to my personal tastes and ideologies.

As a pastor I am often given the opportunity to offer premarital counseling and I have been using Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” for years. His framework is easily understandable and offers rich ground for conversation and understanding between couples. I was first introduced to “The 5 Love Languages” when my partner and I entered marriage counseling and it has proven a useful framework in the years since. It was actually a conversation between us, in regards to our children (twin boys) that prompted me to pick up this book.

Our boys are eight and they are differentiating themselves and as parents we were discussing how and when to treat them the same and when and how to treat them differently because of their unique and particular behavior and needs. I hoped this book would provide additional insight and language for us as parents to discuss this framework of being in relationship with our children. I was disappointed. It was mostly the same content as the original and Chapman and Campbell took 210 pages to solidify their thesis which can be summed up as, “be sure to offer all the love languages to your children and pay attention as they grow and when you identify their primary language, be intentional about offering that demonstration of love too.”

For a reader unfamiliar with the 5 Love Languages this book would of course be much more informative. The book offered solid and thorough definitions of the languages and provided examples for each across ages which was helpful in relating these languages to my own children. I had hoped for more meat on the bones of these languages in the parent/child relationship. So, the book as a whole is okay. I do appreciate the insight this framework offers and the language it provides, the book itself simply did not offer me enough that was new as a parent. I would still recommend it if you aren’t familiar with the love languages as Chapman defines them.

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