In the Evangelical tribe I grew up in, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman provided the idiom to talk about how each us receive and give love. Because of our unique personalities and family of origin, we each have modes of expressing love which is particularly meaningful to us. For some it words of affirmation. Others feel particularly loved when you spend quality time with them. Giving and receiving gifts is another ‘love language.’ Others feel loved through physical touch or acts of service. My love language is gift giving (so keep them coming ;P ). Chapman’s original book has helped countless people understand their own love needs and how to best express love to their mates (and other loved ones) whose ‘love language is often different from their own.

I don't typically read ‘spin-off’ books. The fact that there is a Love Language book for singles, men, children, teenagers etc, seems a little too much like “Chicken Soup for the Cat-Lover’s Soul.” It is more of a marketing ploy than something you expect to say something new. But then I am the father of three very different children and thought that The 5 Love Languages of Children would provide me with some insights on how to love my children well. I was pleasantly surprised by what I read inside. This is a great book.

While Gary Chapman and his co-author, Ross Campbell, M.D., say that it is impossible to identify a primary love language for kids under the age of five, and warns that love languages can change at various stages, I gained some appreciation for the uniqueness of my three year old needs and some understanding of my five year old. My two-year-old son is still a mystery.

Chapman and Campbell devote the first half of this book to describing the five love languages and how to recognize them in your children. In the last half of the book they describe how to discipline children, foster learning and help children manage their anger by responding to them in ways which ‘fill their love language’ when we give direction or correction. They also discuss some of the unique challenges of responding to a child’s love language for single-parent families and how modelling love languages in marriage helps your children.

This is a quick read with a lot of insight. Every involved parent loves their children (hopefully!); however not every child feels their parent’s love. This book helps parents understand their children and offers sage advice on how to nurture them in love. My oldest daughter seems to have a primary love language of Quality Time and loves it when you spend time with her. My almost four year old, I would guess has a preference for acts of service. She loves it when you do things for her in a way that her independent older sister never did. This helps me respond with greater patience when she has me help her with something she is quite capable of. And of course Chapman and Campbell also encourage parents to nurture your children to express each of the love languages to others.

But the most important chapters for me would be the chapters on discipline, learning and managing anger. My kids are unique with different personalities and I have learned that what works with one kid will not work with the others. Certainly there is a lot I still need to discover about my children but like the original Love Languages book, this gives me some words to talk about it.

I recommend this book to parents. It may be a spin-off but it delievers the goods. I give this book four stars. : ★★★★☆

Thank you to Moody Publishers for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for this fair and honest review.

The five love languages have been on my radar since I was single. I've taken quizzes and been to seminars. Last year I borrowed the original from the library for couples. I had a crazy hard time getting into it and I never finished.
The children's version entered my tbr in 2003 when my oldest was like 2.5. She was a different toddler/baby. She was hard to motivate and was not particularly affectionate. She's six now and still squirms away from hugs and kisses. I believe in love languages because of my experiences with her.
I discovered her language pretty early in the book, but I kept reading because this book is so much easier and simpler than the original for me. This book has value beyond my life as a mother. This book helps break down different methods of communication for all. While I will never touch strangers, I can use the methods to express care and appreciation for those around me in my other relationships.
Fantastic book with great ideas! Highly recommend to all with AND without kids. This world could always use some more open minds and better communication.

" كل طفل لديه لغة أساسية للحب ، وهي طريقة يفهم بها حب والديه على الوجه الأفضل . فالطفل يحتاج إلى أن يعرف أنه محبوب لكي يصبح شخصاً بالغاً معطاءً ، ومحباً ، ومسؤولاً "

لغات الحب الخمس التي يستخدمها الأطفال :
١/ التلامس الجسدي ، الأشخاص الذين تُعدّ لغة حبهم الأساسية التلامس الجسدي يحبون أن يتلقوا الأحضان ، والقبلات ، والتصافح .
٢/ كلمات التوكيد ، الأشخاص الذين تُعدّ لغة حبهم الأساسية كلمات التوكيد يحبون أن يستعمل الآخرون كلمات التوكيد ليخبروهم أنهم مميزين وأنهم قاموا بعمل جيد.
٣/ الهدايا ، الأشخاص الذين تُعدّ لغة حبهم الأساسية الهدايا يشعرون بالرضا عندما يعطيهم شخص ما هدية أو مفاجأة مميزة .
٤/ الوقت النوعي ، الأشخاص الذين تُعدّ لغة حبهم الأساسية الوقت النوعي يحبون أن يفعل الآخرون أشياء معهم مثل : مشاهدة فيلم ، أو الخروج لتناول الطعام ، أو ممارسة لعبة .
٥/ أعمال الخدمة ، الأشخاص الذين تُعدّ لغة حبهم الأساسية هي أعمال الخدمة يحبون أن يفعل الآخرون أشياء لطيفة من أجلهم مثل المساعدة في الأعمال المنزلية ، والمساعدة في المشاريع الدراسية ، أو توصيلهم إلى الأماكن .

يبدأ الكتاب في الفصل الأول بتناول أهمية الحب في التنشئة ومعرفة اللغة الأساسية للحب لدى كل طفل .
تناول المؤلفان في كل فصل من الثاني إلى السادس لغة حب واحدة وتكلموا عنها بإسهاب.
الفصل السابع بعنوان " كيفية اكتشاف لغة حب طفلك الأساسية " .
" التأديب ولغات الحب " عنوان الفصل الثامن وناقش فيه التأديب متى يكون فعالاً ومتى يكون عكس ذلك ، وما يجب على الوالدين فعله قبل التأديب وبعده ولماذا يسيء الطفل السلوك ، وكيف يحب الطفل وطرق للتحكم في سلوك الطفل ، وأخيراً التحذير من استغلال لغة حب الطفل الأساسية في التأديب ، فعندما تكون لغة حب الطفل التلامس الجسدي يجب تجنبّ تأديبه بمنع التلامس الجسدي مثل منع العناق والقبلات ، حيث سيسبب هذا ألماً بالغاً للطفل . ورفض مؤلم يجرح شعوره .
أما الفصل التاسع " التعلم ولغات الحب " تناول كيف نستطيع تحفيز الأطفال للتعلم بإستخدام لغة حبهم الأساسية ، وكيف تساعد لغات الحب في التعلم ؟ ، وطرق عدّة لتحفيز الطفل ، والجوانب الخطرة من شعور الطفل بالقلق وكيف يوثر هذا على تعليمه ودافعيته .
يليه " الغضب والحب " في بداية الفصل يذكر المؤلفان أن الغضب والحب مترابطان بدرجة أكثر بكثير مما نتوقع ، بعد ذلك يذكران ما هو النوع المناسب من الغضب ، وبعض التفسيرات للسلوكيات العدوانية التي تصدر من الأطفال وأسبابها وكيف نتعامل معها ، والفرق بين السلوك السلبي العدواني غير الضار والسلوك غير الطبيعي والضار ، وكيف نتحكم في غضب الأطفال .
ثمّ يتناول في الفصل الحادي عشر وهو بعنوان " الحديث بلغات الحب في العائلات ذات الوالد الوحيد " كيف يستطيع الوالد الوحيد سواء كان مُطلق أو أرمل أن يقوم بتربية أطفاله بإستخدام لغات الحب في حين يحتاج هو للحب وبعض النصائح لهؤلاء الآباء / الأمهات .
الفصل الأخير وهو بعنوان " الحديث بلغات الحب في العلاقة الزوجية " ذُكِرَت في بداية الفصل مقولة جميلة جداً
" أفضل طريقة لحب أطفالك هي أن تحب والدتهم / والدهم "
وأعتقد أن هذه المقولة تلخص الفصل تماماً فنستطيع نحن كبالغين معرفة لغة حب أصدقائنا وشركائنا في الحياة ، تماماً كما نستطيع معرفة لغات حب الأطفال والتعبير عن حبنا لهم بلغة حبهم إذ سيحدث هذا فارقاً كبيراً بالنسبة لهم .

اكتفيت بعرض بعض العناوين التي تمت مناقشتها في كل فصل حتى لا أُفسد على أحد متعة القراءة .

أثناء قراءتي عادت لي ذكريات طفولتي مع والدي ( حفظه الله ) فقد اكتشفت بعد قراءتي للغات الحب الخمس أن لغة حبي كانت ( الوقت النوعي ) وكان هو بشكل شبه يومي يقضي معي أنا وإخوتي الوقت في اللعب خارج البيت وأحوز على كامل اهتمامه وتركيزه حين يلعب معي ، وحين أعود بالذاكرة أشعر بأنني كنت محبوبة جداً في طفولتي وهذا ما أعطاني الثقة لأكون كما أنا الآن .

لي ملاحظات على الترجمة كانت سيئة أحياناً وكذلك كان التدقيق الإملائي واللغوي في مواضع كثيرة ، وبعض الكلمات كانت ناقصة الحروف !

مع ذلك ، أنصح الآباء والأمهات المستقبليين ، والمتزوجين حديثاً ، وكل من يتعامل مع الأطفال بحكم عمله ، ومن يملك إخوه صغار يحتار بكيفية معاملتهم ، بقراءة هذا الكتاب .
حصلت على الكثير من الفائدة منه ، سأعود لقراءته لاحقاً بكلّ تأكيد .

This book is brilliant! Beyond the fact that this is a book about how to love your child in the way that he or she best identifies and recognizes as love...because that alone is a smart and beautiful undertaking, this book begins by introducing the concept of learning to speak your child's love language and then includes a gentle list of things to remember about children.

In this book, Chapman and Campbell explain each of the five ways a child expresses and receives love. They explain how to identify your child's primary love language and provide numerous examples of how to speak it through various actions targeting specific age groups. Guidance is also given for using this method when there is a need to discipline and when teaching life rules to young children.

A perfect gift for a mother of young children, I wish I had read this earlier. This will be my go-to gift this year. Though I was already aware of the love languages for marriage, I hadn't considered this for children. Upon reading this, it was painfully obvious which languages my two speak (both different) and what I can do differently. I will follow up and note later if some adjustments I plan to make effect change. Also, the copy I read was reprinted in 2016 and has a more modern cover. 5 stars.

**Update 10/19** - Still love the concepts in this book. Just finished listening to it. Applied what I re-learned to a child I’ve had a hard time lately and the change in our home!! Feeling grateful for this.

I wish I had read this book a lot sooner in my parenting journey. Perhaps it's because I am lacking in so many ways as a mom, but I had so many light bulbs going off while reading this gem. Like always, I will take some advice and leave some advice, but what I will "leave" will be little! I'm already noticing a big difference in my relationship with Carson as I've made a strong effort to use all the love languages with him (I was leaving some out entirely). I loved it.

تدور فكرة الكتاب الأساسية حول الحب و أن كلا منا بم فيهم الأطفال له لغة الحب التي يفضلها ليعبر عن هذه المشاعر أو يستقبلها .

هناك جوانب و أفكار لطيفة يطرحها المؤلفان لكن لا يمكن للمربي أن يتّبع ما جاء فيه كقواعد تربوية حقيقية .

The five love languages has had much acclaim for the use in parenting children as well in the aiding of marriages. I found the book slightly interesting, mildly helpful, and downright obvious in spots. While understanding the different love languages a person can have: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, can move you worlds closer to getting along with someone, it doesn't necessarily always bridge the gap of personality comprehension. For children, I believe the language that each child responds to, is constantly changing and almost always not one of these languages but a combination of them. This makes it difficult to know and administer to. While making relationships better is never an easy undertaking, once you understand a love language, you would think it might simplify things. This isn't always so, either. Just because my husband knows my love language is Acts of Service, doesn't necessarily mean he's any more willing to do the dishes or clean up after himself. Now there's a book I can get behind, getting you husband and children to clean up after themselves.

I'm not saying this book has no merit. By far it has some great ideas and ways of getting to the heart of relating to your children, and it can't possibly hurt or hinder your relationship with your children. Especially for those that have never considered that there are other ways to show your love for your children than what you're used to, it can give great insight into alternative methods for doing so. For someone like me, who is constantly analyzing my relationships with my family and how to make them better, it isn't altogether a new topic. At the very least, it's a good solid foundation of principles for those looking to gain a deeper connection with their children.


ClassicsDefined.com

I listened to this book as an audiobook and I couldn't get enough of it, I was so into almost everything Chapman had to say. I truly believe that I am loving my children fully but this book gave me some ideas on how certain love languages speak to each of them differently. After hearing it, I know that it is true, and I just didn't know why before. Most people probably read this when their kids are younger, I never had, but I think that heading into the teen years, when the kids are changing and growing and developing into their own little adults, this was a great time for me to read it. I feel better prepared to keep their love tanks full. The end of the book had a chapter on the importance of love languages in a marriage, so I should probably seek out that book next ;)

Ar mokate savo vaiko meilės kalbą ir ar kalbate ja? Knyga supažindins jus su penkiomis vaikų vartojamomis meilės kalbomis ir padės išskirti iš jų pagrindines, kuriomis jūsų sūnus ar dukra supranta meilę❤️

I really enjoyed this one. A really good reminder for me to think about the ways in how I show love to my kids, and how they ask for love in their own unique ways too. Relating the love languages to discipline and how certain kids respond differently to discipline can be connected to love languages was interesting too. I think this is a great read for any parent!

I do find these love language books work within the idea that filling a love tank and knowing love languages is the be all, end all of parenting, relationships, etc. I recognize the importance and impact of love languages for sure, but realize many different things impact our lives too :)

This is a wonderful book for parents. Although the book specifies that it’s only around age 7/8 that it becomes easy to figure what your child’s love language is, I recommend reading while your kids are still tiny (toddlers, even infants). This book is so much more than just talking about love languages, it also talks about discipline and anger going hand in hand with love, and there’s a lot of parenting wisdom here that you can implement before ever finding out what your children’s love languages are.

The authors expound on their theory that there are five different ways that people express and experience love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. By the time kids are five or so, they say, the kids have started to have a preference (before then children just need love in all the languages all the time). Knowing your child's love language can help you to be sure that they know that you love them, which leads to all kinds of good things they'd like to tell you more about.

For example, if a parent expresses love by acts of service, but the child experiences love through physical touch, then they may feel unloved even while the parent bends over backward for them. Similarly, if they experience love through words of affirmation, but a parent disciplines by yelling, the child may not get the message "You made a bad choice" but may instead hear "I don't love you."

The book is mildly, though overtly, Christian. Non-Christians will probably roll their eyes occasionally, though I still think that the basic message of the five love languages and how to discover and use them will ring true and be useful.

I think this is actually one of the more useful parenting books I've read, and recommend it quite highly.