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Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction

patrick j. carnes

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With the revised information and up-to-date research, Out of the Shadows is the premier work on sex addiction, written by a pioneer in its treatment.

Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives. Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research--and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction--this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1,1983

This edition

Format
240 pages, Paperback
Published
May 23, 2001 by Hazelden Publishing
ISBN
9781568386218
ASIN
1568386214
Language
English

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About the author

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patrick j. carnes

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Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., is an internationally known authority and speaker on addiction and recovery issues. He has authored over twenty books including the bestselling titles Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, Facing the Shadow, Betrayal Bond, Don't Call It Love, A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps and The Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles.

Dr. Carnes' research provides the architecture for the “task model” of treating addictions that is used by thousands of therapists worldwide and many well-known treatment centers, residential facilities, and hospitals. He founded IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals), which provides CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) training and certification as well as cutting-edge information for addiction professionals. Dr. Carnes currently serves as a Senior Fellow and Executive Director for the Gentle Path Program at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona.

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Community Reviews

Rating(4.1 / 5.0, 100 votes)
5 stars
32(32%)
4 stars
42(42%)
3 stars
26(26%)
2 stars
0(0%)
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100 reviews All reviews
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Advenathenorn
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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3.5 stars. As a counseling intern at Salvation Army (SA), my supervisor recommend I read this book. SA counsels those with alcohol and substance abuse addiction; sexual addiction (as well as other addictions) can co-occur along side substance abuse and clients can have multiple addictions. I thought the stories in this book were interesting to read and it really gives you a glimpse of the addicts' struggle. It does a good job explaining what the addicts go through, their thoughts and emotions. The only thing I would have liked this book to include was research and statistics on the addiction and perhaps a proposed method of treatment outside of just joining a 12 step program.
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chloqi
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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This book has opened my eyes and my understanding of sexual addiction. It helped me see how my childohood affected me entire sexual life. This is a must read for anyone suffering in sexual addiction.
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RewriteGonnaSuck
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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I didn't really read this book. Browsed is more like it. It seems to be a bit outdated... published 23 years ago. Still, plenty of good stuff about sex addiction. Not much about female sex addiction, though. I suspect there's plenty more info out and about now. As he doesn't mention them, I assume that SAA and SLAA were either not up and running at the time or had only just gotten going. He does mention AA and Alanon as I recall. Maybe I'll get back to it in the future.

So now I'm browsing the updated version, which is about ten years more recent. The difference shows as sex-addiction has come out of the shadows to assume its proper place along side alcohol, drugs and food as one of the four horsemen of the compulsion apocalypse! Then there's all the "minor" ones!

Now I'm slowing down and reading closer as it gets more compelling for me. The next chapter will be about twelve-step recovery. He pretty much waits 'til he's laid out the problem(s) to get to the 12-steps. Just prior to this he talks a bout family/group therapy, which can be useful as sexual compusion-obsession-dysfunction often cascades from generation to generation inside a family.

Finished last night after finishing "The Martian". This is an excellent read for those affected by sexual obsession/compulsion, which is to say, millions of us. We're affected either directly because we have it(me) or we're more indirectly affected by being(or having been) in a relationship with a(or multiple) sex addict(s)(me again). As with the other big three(food, alcohol and drugs) sex addiction has its own special challenges. The author does pretty well in exploring both these challenges and the options for recovery. If the book had been published more recently no doubt its content would have been a bit more complete and I could give it a 5* rating. Still...
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BlondieLottie
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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l written ..Great book for anyone that is going through any type of addiction ...or friends and love ones of someone that is going through addiction .....
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SwishTheWitch
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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Patrick Carnes is superb at describing the nature and cause of sexual addiction especially the four beliefs that underpin it. He devotes a section also to coaddicts which means this is a book for partners and family of addicts a well. Only complaint is that his examples tend towards the high end of the scale. The reader would be forgiven for thinking that every sex addict has been raised in a highly dysfunctional family where Mom was a distant alcoholic and Dad committed incest. Otherwise a very well written and useful resource for those in recovery.
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SakataMaerii
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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My favorite part about this book was how each of the stories told were about people and not monsters. Media/society is so quick to ostracize people with these issues, when in all reality, these people are our loved ones. I was pretty nervous reading the book because the majority of it talks about the varying forms of addiction and the addictive cycle, that there wouldn’t be any message of hope or how to break the addiction. Even though there was only one chapter on healing, it was a really good chapter and I felt filled with hope.
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JBeno16
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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I thought this book was very interesting. Perhaps, because the topic seems so taboo. The author includes several case studies to explain different addictions. The end of the book for me felt rushed...or at least didn't summarize the book very well.
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xiaohtuzi
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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Well my oh my this is so 1950's. Is he fr saying that women that have casual sex don't respect themselves? There are so many passages that are like THIS WOMAN WAS SO SICK THAT SHE TAUGHT HER SCHOOLCHILDREN AFTER HAVING CASUAL SEX THE NIGHT BEFORE WHAT A DOUBLE LIFE uhhh maybe she should teach her schoolchildren about condoms while she's at it that seems fine 2 me. This book leaves no room for people to have sex outside of committed relationships
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