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Excellent! That's called staying alive.

I love this concept and the appeal. Love the difficulty rating of 1-5, aka petting a cow to petting a cow on wheels!

The only thing I didn't love was some of the alternatives.

- Get your aura or chakras cleansed
- Find out if mercury is in retrograde
- Dance or spit on a grave
- Join a sex group
- Adopt an identity, "dyke" "sl8t"
- Cast a spell

I picked this book up because it is the book I wish I had had a few years ago. The style was amazing, it was engaging, humorous. Literally wish I had this kind of positive encouragement when I was a teenager. Although it didn't connect with me very well now, I still think everyone should read it at least once.

Kate Bornstein, with this unusual book, has a good idea. She wants to make sure we all stay alive and live happily. Thus she provides a long list of alternatives to suicide.

I picked this book up because a student tagged it as including unsuitable material, which it certainly does. She advocates all sorts of activities, with the caveat that they should not be mean to anyone. This leaves a lot of room for people to be doing things.

I finished this book because I was interested in her approach to life, and to se if I should allow students to read this. I am not a proponent of censorship, but not every student should read this book. There are sexual references, language issues, and advocacy for activities that fall outside the norm. This is actually one of her points. This book is for people who fall outside the norm, and for that reason I will keep the book. There are always a few students who could benefit from such a book.

I would recommend this to Ruth, and to those other students who are exploring their own self identity.

look it’s a really good book and i’ll probably look back into it at some point. i have previously read “gender outlaw” but this book kinda just had some major issues to me. the use of slurs (n-word, b slur, c slur etc) that that can’t reclaim is quite unsettling to me. i know that they are an anti racist ally but if i were to give this book more that a 3 star rating it would just feel wrong. but other than that it was a pretty good book there were some harmful things in there but it is for harm reduction and i believe she explained herself quite well in a way that it wasn’t encouraged. other than that i don’t have any major problems with the book.
the whole premise of the book was 101 reasons reasons to stay alive and finding one’s that resonate with you with just one rule, be kind. i haven’t done it yet but i would like to write out the ones i liked to see. she had some great stories, ideas, explanations, pretty words, and examples on so many things. i am really hoping to read more of her work in the future. preferably with less problematic things in it.

Would love to see an updated edition that

Like Kate Bornstein, this book defies categorization. The first half is part Gender Studies 101 peppered with autobiographical tidbits but uses this "queer theory for the layperson" paradigm to get at the pain and emotional oppression of Otherness(es) of all types. The one "rule" of Bornstein's guidebook may be "don't be mean," but the overall purpose of the book is to provide (suggest) alternatives to death and/or conformity.

I haven't been suicidal since I was 16 years old, but I still find much needed hope and empathy in the list of "alternatives" that make up the second half of the book. And something I find refreshing is the fact that Bornstein gets that sometimes it's only possible (realistic) to choose the lesser of two evils, if that's what you need to keep yourself alive today--and that when everything seems like it's falling down around you, there's no point in punishing yourself for not choosing the healthiest possible option if you can't see it...or if you just can't.

I feel like I could've benefitted from this book as a teenager, especially with exploring my LGBTQ identity. I feel like with the limited representation I've seen growing up, having this book would've benefited me. I give it 4 stars because it really does not apply to me now, since I've worked on many of these alternatives listed in the book. But I can see this helping out others possibly as well.

Bornstein wows in this highly controversial book, classified as a self-help for staying alive. Embracing the reality that teen suicide rates are growing, this book- finalist , LGBT Nonfiction Lambda Literary Award & Honor Book, Stonewall Children's YA Lit Award- tackles the tough stuff head on with humor and an out of the box approach. Whatever it takes to keep you alive.

Pro: Good for trans/ gender queer or questioning youth. It quickly acknowledges that the usual (default) solutions to being suicidal don't appeal to everyone. (Psych-anything? So much no.) Some suggestions are weird or funny, others kinda dangerous, but they're out there as alternatives to eating a bullet. So, yay for that.
Con: Bad for ace kids. Folks that have no interest in sex will probably feel worse (or at least more of an outsider) after reading this book. It seemed very gender-emphasis heavy, which I felt like made it less of a good generalist book. (Although I recognize that even if this book is more for that population, then I'm actually ok with that.) Again, some suggestions were dangerous, so it's almost like a frying pan vs. fire issue. Is it really better to not be suicidal if the alternative gets you killed? What was the purpose? So the blood isn't on your hands, or that it was an "accidental" death instead of a "suicide"? Semantics. (I reserve the right to say that as someone who lost a very close friend to suicide-by-omission.)
Overall: It was not incredibly useful, in terms of good ideas or otherwise. I finished this book feeling like I could write a better version. And honestly, I'm ok with that. It's a worthy goal, even if it's just for me. So, yay for inspiration. 3.3*

Good for anyone who finds themselves feeling boxed in, trapped, living a life that doesnt suit them just to survive. Hope for the freaks and fringe dwellers, and those who are but still in the closet.

Queer, youthful, and written in a way that I'm sure speaks to many oddballs!
While in the first half there's text on identity and not fitting, the second half actually does provides a set of ideas and tools for people to try in order to help themselves. Not all "alternatives" are thoroughly explained so there's room for different interpretations, but the general idea is what do whatever helps you as long as it doesn't harm others.

Kate Bornstein puts a lot of emphasis on the idea that coping mechanisms can be shitty and yet still work, which is something that resonates with me tremendously; she acknowledges that a certain class of things (drugs, alcohol, self-injury) can be tremendously unhealthy and yet still be better than suicide. There are a lot of other suggestions she makes, from the woo-woo to the down to earth, all of them presented with an attitude of "this might work, it might not, give it a shot", and her guiding principle is "don't be mean", which I dig.

Two areas of concern:

• She talks really frankly about sex, and about the value of having sexual experiences that you enjoy and that affirm you. This is GREAT, and I have no argument there - I think that more teenagers should be told precisely that. She's very aggressively sex-positive, though, in a way I worry might be alienating for asexual / aromantic readers.

• Some of the language is...enh. I have nothing against cursing, and nothing against reclaiming slurs...but some of the slurs she uses (in the sense of, "has somebody ever called you _______?") aren't necessarily hers to reclaim, and that was a little uncomfortable.