A true gem for those who struggle with feeling suicidal. Real and practical steps to take when you don’t want to live anymore and an honest and forthright exploration of how to pull off harm reduction for those who might find many approaches trite, cliche, and pointless. Would give this to anyone who struggles with wanting to not be here anymore on the regular.

solidly 2.5 stars from me…

diva will you please for the love of god hold the racial slurs?? please

kinda corny but it did make me cry a few times….. laughed out loud when she recommended joining weight watchers….. not the best book. not the worst either. she kinda always reminds me of my grandma but if my grandma was trans and used racial slurs. neeeeeed her to stop throwing out the hard r like yesterday

This isn't a book I read in high school, but I damn sure wish it were. I don't go much for inspirational books or books labeled "self-help," but this book packs an enormous emotional wallop that basically makes the reader want to get off her ass, quit (or start) complaining, and try to do something to change the shitty and unfortunate Way Things Are. I read it after I already begun teaching high school and, looking at it through those lens, it even drew a few (sincere!) tears from the typically hard-ass me.

I really can't say enough good about this book. In my perfect world, it would be required reading for EVERY 16-17 year old kid, not just the "types" mentioned by the subtitle.

I think this book took itself more seriously than I had expected it to too. Which was ok.

Ummm...I think it really gets to the idea that being miserable is about not feeling in control of your identity/identities. And that the best way to do that is to think about your identity, develop it, name it, be glad to be yourself however ridiculous that may be, and there WILL be people that love you for that. And Don't Be Mean about it.

Some of her best things were about acknowledging your own mythology and accepting your paradoxes. All very brief, sort of common sense, but sort of quirky... I liked it, it made me feel like I am on the right track reading tons of comics and watching Drag Race. :)

Three stars cuz I actually wanted their to be more about sexuality and gender - it's Kate Bornstein after all! I guess I'll go read some more Ariel Schrag.

Fantastic book, totally defied my expectations. Kate has an incredibly fresh, honest voice. I love how this book is extra inclusive of all fringe subcultures. She is very open and upfront, but also handles topics with subtly and care. While this is focused at teens, I think adults would definitely benefit from this book as well. This is definitely a must-read book.

The first half of this book is her bio and introduction with a summary of the history and politics of identity, gender, sexuality, bullying and more. I enjoyed the introduction very much, although I'd be interested to see a teen perspective. I was surprised to find that this book was written in 2006. The history and politics do focus on Bush-era, which I worry might seem less relatable now. There have been some significant changes in history since then, so I would be interested to see a more current introduction if they do an anniversary edition.

The second half of the book is the actual list of suicide alternatives. Each alternative has a key for how easy, safe, effective, and legal the action is. Alternatives range the entire spectrum of easy/hard, safe/less safe, effective/less effective, legal/illegal. Sex, drugs, alcohol, spirituality, self-improvement and more are included. Kate comes from the stance that pretty much anything is a better alternative to killing yourself. So the alternatives that are less safe or illegal, she makes it exceptionally clear that this should only be a temporary solution and that you should seek professional help. I really liked how she handled the tougher and more controversial alternatives. While a parent or school may initially find things in this book controversial, by actually reading it you will see how her goal is to keep people alive. I do not believe that any of these alternatives would make someone more suicidal. I like that nothing has to be done in order or a certain way. Everything is very open and flexible, making this a book someone could come back to many times. I found myself wanting to take lots of notes.

This is an amazing book of coping strategies written in an honest and humorous light. This book is excellent for anyone, teens or adults, that feel like outsiders and struggle with motivation to stay alive. I think many of these coping strategies are excellent general life suggestions for self love and self care. I highly recommend it.

I have wanted to read this book for years. Like most of Bornstein's work, sometimes you have to ignore some overly eccentric ideas and identify the core message of the work. Although some of Bornstein's ideas are too out there (even for me,) I really enjoyed this book overall. Bornstein has had actual experience with suicidal ideation; readers can relate and trust her advice. Her experience gives her an extremely realistic view-point on the topic. Doing anything-- even negative things like cutting yourself or starving yourself-- is better then killing yourself. This is something many individuals who live with suicide ideations know, yet I've never seen it in a book. So, Bornstein's advice was real and great because of that. The book's message is also great. It states that as long as you don't hurt anyone else, you should do whatever it takes to feel better. You should be gentle on yourself and go slowly if you have to. The tips in this book were really reaffirming, even if I wasn't feeling suicidal when I read them. Totally a mood booster. I suggest this for anyone who has ever had a down day, suicidal or not.

Give this book to everyone!

Not just for teens, freaks, and other outlaws - I think this book could be life-saving for anyone thinking about suicide. Even if you don't need it now, read it anyways: you or someone you know might need it later. Unlike a lot of other suicide prevention, this book really takes a harm reduction approach in that its list of alternatives considers anything that isn't suicide and isn't "being mean" to be better than suicide. Its setup as a numbered list of alternatives makes it especially useful, as opposed to something like a list of reasons to live, these are all literally things you can do, right now, instead of killing yourself. This book saved my life, so I can definitely say it worked for me.

This book has worked for me since high school, thank you Kate Bornstein

Respect the point of the book in all of its self-help and exploratory glory but the narration didn't do it for me. Likely it needed to be this way for effect, but it felt disjointed at time and/or presented awkwardly with little organization. Yet the second half of the book was then organized via the chart and then explained. It had a split personality in this way that affected my reading of it.

I did not like the encouragement of drugs and cutting. However, they did give nice alternatives when you want to kill yourself, and the book was very fun to read

It's been awhile since I was a suicidal teen, but looking over the suggestions in here, I have to say they really would have helped me realize the world was larger than the small, cruel high school one I was trapped in, and to hold out, day by day, until it was over and I could find others like me. Some of the things mentioned might have made me feel sadder, like "find a friend," because there were none, but I should have cut class more often than just in senior year, and if they were all going to hate on me anyway, I might as well have been myself. This book says this in so many ways, to survive any way you can until it's over. Finally someone who knows how it is has written it down. Thank you!