I love the idea of this book, and found it generally sensitive to the diversity of its intended readership. Where Bornstein seemed to have blindspots were with sex and religion. She recommends sex as a solution in quite a few of her alternatives, and when addressing people whose expression of sexuality is a cause of their oppression I get that, but it leaves behind those who identify as asexual, or who just aren't interested in it for now. While promoting the diversity of religious expression available over any "one true faith", Bornstein had no word to say for those who hold an atheistic position. It's a shame, as with just a few tweeks these omissions could have been easily rectified. However, I'm focusing on the lapses in an otherwise thoughtful and amusingly written book about being kind to yourself, giving yourself a break, and not putting up with any shit, others' or your own.

First of all, I wish I had bought the paper copy instead of the ebook edition. If you're considering purchasing the book, get the paper. I am going to buy the flesh and blood copy even though I already bought the ebook.
This book is worth it.
Second of all, If you know of somebody who has expressed a wish to die, please, please, please give them this book.

Now for my review:
For a good part of my life I've been an outlaw, cast as a freak by people, and this has made me suicidal. And I firmly believe that had I found this book a year ago, it would have stopped me from attempting suicide when I did.
This book is not full of reasons to stay alive; those are everywhere and they usually do not help. These are alternatives, and not all of them are quote-unquote "socially acceptable". But I know from experience that sometimes all you can do except end it all is do things that are socially unacceptable. And I appreciate the stand that Kate Bornstein takes in that regard. Anything is better than killing yourself. But don't get me wrong, this book is not entirely full of illegal and self-destructive activities. Some of them are kind and loving like making art or taking a deep breath.
Basically, there are a lot of options here. And at least one of them will work. At the very least, it'll make you laugh. Bornstein has this humorous way of looking at the world that is fantastic.

Long story short: read this book. It will save your life.

Overall- this self help book is fantastic, I greatly appreciate Bornsteins writings and presentations at conferences. I genuinely appreciate the infixes on the gender spectrum versus the gender binary popular in contemporary American culture.
The only thing I am not a huge fan of is slightly avid pushing of drugs and medications. I acknowledge that some pills work for some people but personally I do not support the Western medicalization of deviance.
Regardless of personal feelers- I think this book is amazing.

I picked this up earlier this year as a bit of an introduction to Kate Bornstein's written work. I avoid self-help books like the plague, but the title of this book has intrigued me for a couple of years now. The "Don't kill yourself! Kill what you don't like about yourself" message is concrete and positive, and I think it could be helpful for a lot of people.

Recalling my own teen years, I think this book is a vital resource for teens or young adults, and not limited to queer youth. But I think it should be part of the essential kit issued to every queer teen, along with the toaster and copy of the gay agenda.

As much as I wish every queer kid had a copy of this, I wish the "teens" part wasn't in the title - or there was an edition for adults - so this book could reach a bigger audience. There are certainly a lot of adults who could benefit from Bornstein's suggestions about changing their lives for the better. No matter what age you are, if you're depressed or are considering suicide, or are just stuck in a rut, give this book a shot.

This book was almost two different books slammed together, but it oddly still works. One book is like an intro to self-acceptance and information about sex and gender theory (very basic though, it doesn't go into technical terms or professor-like lectures). That was good since this book is supposed to be written for teenagers, though an adult can just as easily read it and feel reassured and educated on these matters, if they aren't familiar with these topics.

The author, Kate Bornstein, is one of the most well known Academic experts of sex and gender theory. There is a lot of talking about sex and sexuality through out the book, so if that bothers you, you might not like that. It didn't bother me too much, but sex and sexuality is almost the third theme of this book (gender identity the second and suicide prevention the first). Bornstein is trying to empower her readers to accept themselves no matter their gender, race, religion, age, ability, sexuality, etc. I really liked this aspect and feeling from this text overall.

The second half was the list of the alternatives to suicide. Some of these were very positive and uplifting ideas that I think could work and work well. A few examples; Joining a group or club that follows your interest, trying to help other people achieve their dreams, make art, or changing your way of thinking about something. Not every option will work for every person, obviously, but some of them seem worth trying if you are desperate to change your life for the better. There are of course, the more traditional methods of getting a therapist, joining group therapy, or calling a help line to deal with the issues that are causing you to consider suicide. None of these options are ones that you should be ashamed of doing, if you need help, please, I urge you to do it. Your life will be improved, though it could take a while to feel the affects of the improvement depending on the method you use. Therapy and Therapy groups will take a while to adjust to, for example.

Unfortunately, for some reason that I didn't quite understand, there were a few negative options on the alternatives to suicide list as well. Taking drugs, cutting, and starving yourself were some of the options, which I thought inappropriate to include. None of these options should have been mentioned, especially in a book marketed for teenagers. To be fair, the author wasn't encouraging these behaviors, there were warnings placed through out the book by these particular options. I'm not for self-harm in any way but I think these were put in the book for last resort options before choosing suicide (at least that's my understanding of what the author was trying to accomplish?). Still, I'm not comfortable about listing these options in the same way as the positive and neutral non-harmful options.

I gave this book 3.5 stars! Overall, I think this book could be helpful for it's target audience. I'm not sure about the appropriateness of mentioning self-harming coping mechanisms in the same place as healthy and non-harmful options (which like 80% of the other options were, fortunately). Suicidal people may or may not already be doing those self-harming actions already, but still it seemed out of place to mention such negative coping mechanisms to people who are probably seeking help and more positive coping mechanisms. Suicide is a serious mental health issue and a serious thing, those who suffer from suicidal thoughts ought to seek help and deserve to have their concerns be taken seriously.

Triggers/ Content warning: Suicide (a main theme through out the book), self-harm, drugs/alcohol, and eating disorders like anorexia as coping mechanisms

IS THIS BOOK A FUCKING JOKE

Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternative to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & Other Outlaws by Kate Bornstein was recommended to me by Skinny Hobbit. It’s written for nonconforming “freaks and outlaws,” whether that be in relation to gender, sexual orientation, or anything else that society likes to judge. It has fun illustrations, like a “get out of hell free” card.

The author, who identifies herself in the book as a “tranny dyke”, enthusiastically embraces freakishness of all kinds, including her own. She’s the high school guidance counsellor who you’ll wish you had, who says it like it is and isn’t embarrassed to talk about anything.

The author begins, “I wrote this book to help you stay alive because I think the world needs more kind people in it, no matter who or what they are, or do. The world is healthier because of its outsiders and outlaws and freaks and queers and sinners. I fall neatly into all of those categories, so it’s no big deal to me if you do or don’t.” She explains that the book isn’t about trying to convince you, as the reader, not to kill yourself; rather, it’s there to give you 101 ideas of things to do instead.” I like that approach.

She suggests that you try looking for the part of the identity that you’ve constructed that needs to die for you to keep on living. I thought this was a really interesting perspective. Being a freak basically means that there’s a conflict between who you are and the identity that society expects you to have, and unless you’re as completely fabulous as Kate Bornstein, chances are you’re carrying around at least some vestiges of things that society expects you to be.

The book covers some of the “sanctioned solutions” that are typically recommended, but acknowledges that those options don’t always feel very available.

The 101 alternatives to kill yourself come with various ratings: easiness (based on cows), safety (heart), effectiveness (umbrellas), and being more or less legal/moral (including X = no one older than Gen-X, aka old farts like me, should attempt).

Some of the alternatives include:

rant, rave, bitch, and moan
run away and hide
give ’em the old razzle dazzle
give up nouns for a day
find a friend, including a spiritual figure like L. Ron Hubbard (the author is a former Scientologist)
The book is packed with wise advice, including “When God says no to your harmless desires, it’s time to find another God.” One of the dying alternatives is being cute or dashing, and the author makes it clear that cute doesn’t mean weak; “Be cute or be dashing; “Porcupines are super cute, but you wouldn’t want to fuck with one.”

I thought this book was all kinds of fabulous. Sure, this probably isn’t the first book you’re going to reach for when mental illness is kicking your ass. But when life is hard because society has decided you’re a freak, this book will leap right into your hand.

I feel like it shouldn't have been titled "alternatives to suicide" because these suggestions to me are silly and if someone was seriously suicidal, they either would roll their eyes and think "are you kidding me, is this it?" or not have the energy to carry out some of the more elaborate serious things like volunteering to help others. (But if it did end up helping you, of course i'm glad.) Maybe a less dramatic title like "ways to cope with bad situations" or "self-care for when life sucks." The entire first section of this book before the alternatives was to me a waste of time and redundant, basically saying society is a bully and you have to be yourself no matter what. I'm sure if you're part of the LGBT+ community that you've been told "be yourself no matter what" enough times.

She talked about sex too much. I doubt a lot of suicidal people are thinking "oh maybe a good fuck will help." Many suicidal people have trouble eating, sleeping, feeling any pleasure at all, and depression can cause sexual dysfunction. Maybe she mentioned it so much cause self-image and thinking she's sexy seem to be important to her. Other eye-rolling things were the repeat mention of tarot cards and chakras and magic. Again, if that's your thing that helps, fine, but I think that should only be said once as an all-encompassing "see if spirituality helps."

i'm probably taking it too seriously and sure it was all supposed to be humorous, but the fact that this book was framed as alternatives to suicide rubbed me the wrong way cause my brother killed himself and i've had over a decade of suicidal ideation, so i don't fuck around with silly things like "moisturize" and "cast a spell" and "eroticize the pain." If i were seriously suicidal, this would be another disappointment in that i would be looking for something that helps by someone who's been there before, who's also LGBT+, and it's yet another thing that i don't relate to. Also disappointed cause i know she's a trans icon and this is the first of her books i've tried.

I would like to send this book back in time to my eleven year old self. It would have saved a lot of identity-related heartache to have had this warm, wise, very funny, very honest, subversive book at hand back then and throughout my teens.

I think this book was badly named. Had the subtitle been 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Freaks, Weirdos and Other Outlaws (say)--it would still have ended up in the hands of the teens who really needed it and yet would not have suggested the book was *only* for teens. Some adults will miss this book, and that's too bad. Like some other reviewers I was impressed with Kate's humor and articulation, but put off by the fact that so much of it was focused on sexuality. I think sex DOES need to be in books aimed at teens because let's face it, they spend an awful lot of their time worrying about it...but many of even the freakiest "outlaw" types will not be able to relate to Kate's highly deviant (and I don't mean this in a bad way) POV in regard to sex. Still, and she admits it--this is her area of expertise. Perhaps this could be a great companion guide to Grace Llewelyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook (which Bornstein cites) and which I'm currently reading with a smile on my face. All in all, I loved this book. I think one thing teens DO need is awareness of diversity across the human life span. Trapped in dull bedroom communities across the nation, many American teens probably see no reason to live in a world occupied by adults who all look the same, act the same, have the same jobs, etc. If nothing else this is an introduction to a character they would never meet in suburbia and he/she defies categorization. The message is a positive one, too (be kind to yourself and others)...so I say rock on Kate.

While I had appreciation for the idea of this book when I came across it, it generally isn't something that I would pick up and read (How-To books, Guide books... that sort of thing isn't really in my interest wheelhouse; it's hard to stay engaged, I've found), but when it was listed on the "recommended reading" section of a course syllabus and I had time to kill before my actual textbooks arrived in the mail, I figured what the hell.
Glad that's what I figured.
Having read Kate Bornstein's memoir, what I loved about this book was how it felt so much like a conversation. What I additionally loved was that Kate Bornstein seems like a really fabulous person to talk to. At no point while reading this did I feel suicidal, but I still managed to feel a whole hell of a lot better in general after reading this book, as well as feeling a bit more prepared for having these 101 tips in my pocket to share with others if a situation ever calls for it. As someone in the Queer community, I found Bornstein's gender/sexual orientation/sexuality focus to be hugely relevant and necessary, though I could see how it could be a deterrent for others. I think she saw that too while writing it, but very plainly didn't give a fuck and plowed onward. An approach to which only applause can be given in response.
Overall, I found this to be a well-rounded, firm but gentle, no-bullshit approach to this topic. It's not a cure-all; she calls it how it is and speaks to the truth of each person's all-encompassing power to determine the course of their life, but her consistent sincerity of wanting the reader to continue on prevails throughout, making this a must-have on anyone's bookshelf if they're working with teens/young adults/people in general.

Eh. It was alright. WAY too much stuff about sex for my asexual self to really like it. Made me feel worse after reading it because of that. More alone, because it seemed to say if you don't want sex in some way you're not normal. I know that's not the way most people would read it and it made some good points that weren't about sex.