Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway

(The English review is placed beneath Russian one)

Это было ошибкой начать читать данную книгу, т.к. это именно та литература, которую я стараюсь избегать - смесь народной психологии и самопомощи с небольшим добавлением духовности в стиле New Age. На данной ступени стоят книги таких авторов как Карнеги, Кови, Наполеон Хил и пр. Т.е. если вы, как и я, ищите профессиональную литературу по психологии таких авторов как Фрейд, Адлер, Бёрн, Чалдини, Зимбардо, Маслоу, Дэвид Майерс и пр., то можете смело игнорировать данную книгу и не тратить на неё ни время, ни деньги. Кстати, если бы я знал, как выглядит обложка оригинала, я бы, скорее всего, уже тогда задумался, стоит ли начинать, т.к. у данной книги именно такая обложка, какую имеют если не вся, то довольно существенная часть подобной литературы (мне кажется, это делается специально для создания триггера).
Главная тема, которую заявляет книга, является тема страха и первые главы как бы это и подтверждают. Действительно, в самом начале книги автор пишет, что каждый человек испытывает различные страхи (тут идёт перечисление) и что главная её задача, это помочь людям избавиться от него. В качестве примера она приводит свою собственную практику, где люди рассказывают о своём собственном страхе. Собственно, тут ничего нового мы не встретим.
Далее, определившись с и так разжёванной темой, автор предложит свои собственные методики преодоления страха. Лично я не нашёл их значительными. Они, скорее, больше похожи на методики Карнеги и иже с ним, нежели на советы профессионального психотерапевта. Но, возможно, если человек испытывает острую потребность хоть в каком-то совете или методе, то предлагаемые в книги советы окажутся полезными.
Ещё один момент книги заключается в том, что автор добавил множество своих собственных историй и переживаний, которые я также не нашёл особо интересными. А что касается советов, то они - а они составляют добрую порцию всей книги - в духе классической самопомощи вышеназванных авторов. Например, умение расслабляться и несколько советов, которые предлагает автор. Или позитивное мышление. Или построение взаимоотношения с близкими людьми по типу Кови и так далее. В общем, в какой-то момент приходишь к заключению, что добрую половину текста книги ты уже где-то встречал, что в каких-то других подобных книгах всё это уже упоминалось. Плюс, разумеется, такая же добротная горсть самоочевидных вещей.
Однако главная проблема не в этом. Дело в том, что начиная где-то с середины книги, автор уходит, как мне показалось, от заявленной темы и пускается в какие-то пространные рассуждения, истории из жизни разных людей и как они преодолевали препятствия и так далее. В какой-то момент ты просто отключаешься и теряешь нить повествования. О чём это автор? Что мы сейчас обсуждаем? Разговор начинает напоминать диалог двух людей в кафе или на кухне, когда разговор ведётся уже не о чём-то конкретном, а о том, что вспомнилось. Поэтому ближе концу я понял, что дальнейшее чтение будет являться откровенно бессмысленной тратой времени и превращается в какую-то пытку «ради галочки». Так что последние несколько глав я уже не осилил, сдался.

It was a mistake to start reading this book because it is exactly the kind of literature I try to avoid - a mixture of folk psychology and self-help with a little spirituality in the New Age style. At this level are books by authors such as Dale Carnegie, Stephen R. Covey, Napoleon Hill and others. So if you, like me, are looking for professional psychology literature by such authors as Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, Eric Berne, Robert B. Cialdini, Philip G. Zimbardo, Abraham H. Maslow, David G. Myers, etc., you can safely ignore this book and not waste any time or money on it.
The main theme of the book is fear and the first chapters as if confirm it. Indeed, at the very beginning of the book the author writes that each person has different fears (there is a list) and that the main task of the author is to help people get rid of it. As an example, she cites her own practice where people talk about their own fears. Actually, we will not meet anything new here.
Then, having defined the topic, the author will offer her own methods of overcoming fear. Personally, I did not find them significant. They are more like Carnegie's methods than the advice of a professional psychotherapist. But, perhaps, if a person feels an acute need for at least some advice or method, the advice offered in the book will be useful.
Another point of the book is that the author has added a lot of her own stories and experiences, which I also did not find particularly interesting. As for the advice, it is the classic style of self-help of the abovementioned authors. For example, the ability to relax and a few tips that the author offers. Or positive thinking. Or building relationships with close people like Covey and so on. In general, at some point you come to the conclusion that you have already met half of the text of the book somewhere, that in some other similar books all this has already been mentioned. Plus, a handful of self-evident things.
But that's not the main problem. The fact is that starting somewhere in the middle of the book, the author, as it seemed to me, leaves the declared theme and gets into some lengthy reasoning, stories from the lives of different people and how they overcame obstacles and so on. At some point you just disconnect and lose the thread of the narrative. What is the author about? What are we discussing now? The conversation begins to resemble a dialogue between two people in a cafe or in the kitchen, when the conversation is no longer about something specific, but about what has been remembered. Therefore, towards the end, I realized that further reading would be a frankly senseless waste of time and would turn into some kind of torture "for the sake of a tick". So the last few chapters I couldn't take it anymore, I gave up.

1.5 stars

So, this was an alright book. It has some good ideas and good tools for being able to live your life how you want and not being held back by irrational fears, etc. The pacing wasn't the best, most of the useful info is in the first 3rd but there was still bits to glean the rest of the way, which is better than a lot of other self-help books I've read. You can definitely tell it was written in the 80's and targeted at women, but it's useful for everyone. I wouldn't mind a modern day revision, personally.

I finished reading this book 2 weeks ago, and feel compelled to review it.

A few short months ago i took the steps needed to change my life for the better. I was not happy living how i was, i hated my body, i hated myself, all because i was scared of the truth. That truth is that i am transgender.

I admitted to myself that i needed to seek medical help, to rectify my situation, which includes taking hormones and having gender reassignment surgery in the future. I went to the doctor in december 2011, and by march the 19th i had seen a psychiatrist, who is now referring me to the gender identity clinic at charing cross, in london.

Progress, yes, but there were still people close to me who know nothing about my intentions of transitioning from male to female.

Reading this book however, has given me the courage to face my fears head on. Seconds before coming online to type this i rang my dad and told him i have something to talk to him about, as well as one of my brothers and his wife. Everyone else knows but i was scared to death to tell my dad and brother. I told my mum, her reaction was not good but we have since moved on and she supports me in whatever i decide is best for me.

I have wanted to tell my dad about it since december 2011, when i told my mum, my other brothers and their spouses, friends, clients etc, but i put it off because i was fearful of rejection, arguments, possibly even violence, my dad thinks with his fists and not his brain.

Now however, i am strong enough emotionally to be able to face him and was able t tell him how i feel, of my intentions to change gender, to live my life as any other woman would.

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway is one of those rare books which instantly speak to you, deep inside, on a subconscious level, even reading it makes you feel stronger, more powerful than before.

The techniques in this book are simple ones that all of us can use every day of our lives. Susan Jeffers writes brilliantly, clearly and concisely, and is so inspirational that its hard to feel anything but positivity when reading this particular book.

I have now told my father i am transgender, and last week i actually went to the dentist to have teeth pulled out. Me! At the dentist! The last time i went was in the mid 90's, and then i freaked out big time, not allowing the dentist to do anything, i was so scared, but 3 days ago i found the strength t get those teeth pulled out, and by jingo i did it.

I intend to read this book again and again, and as an added bonus i also have another book by Susan, the little book of confidence, which now goes with me everywhere.

If you want to overcome your fears, and if your reading this review, you obviously do, then please buy this book, it is simply sublime, and you will feel divine =)

Alexandra ★

A girlfriend in grad school gave me this book, shortly before we parted ways, in fact. It was a real eye-opener to me that I lived much of my life hovering around the perimeter of the pool rather than jumping in with both feet.

Most eye-opening for me, though, was it was the first time I had been taught that fear was fine - embrace it, don't dodge it. Then, walk through the fire anyway.

I'm not saying I turned into Russell Crowe from "Gladiator" because of it. I'm still more Woody Allen from "Annie Hall", but the book did fuel me toward some braver choices in life, and I think it's a great read - not too clinical, not too esoteric - just good guidance through learning to live with the beast that resides in everyone's anxiety closet.

A friend of mine recommended this book to me and at first I was a bit skeptical but fell in love after the first 10 pages. It seems to cover every issue you come across without actually pinpointing one certain issue.

It's a good book to fall back on as a quick picker-upper if you're having a bad day or just feel discouraged. It's helped with my personal life alot and it's something I'm sure to have memorized within the next 10 years.

Sir Ken Thompson recommended this book in his, The Element. I picked it up with some trepidation, because the whole idea sounded so simple. But it's a top-notch self-help book, about a whole lot more than just fear. Jeffers covers the whole waterfront of ineffectual behavior and patiently tells you how to stop it and replace it with better behavior. If you're stuck at any point with fears, resentments, bottled up anger, and so on, this book will help (if you let it).

Well... specifically not entirely finished, but finished as much as I wish to. It was ok, but too too many others to be read. Also working in an academic library and being offered real life friend recommendations left right and centre makes for many books to be had, and not a lot of time to have them.