Хэрхэн амьдрах гарын авлага гэлтэй. Нэг уншаад хангалтгүй ном байна.

n  "Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune."n

This book (along with other books by Dale Carnegie) can be life-changing. The book takes the incessant problem of worry, head on. It says that of all the liars in the world most of the time it's our own fears and worries. Worry doesn't take away your troubles but it do take away your peace, that's the main message of the book. He starts very scientifically by searching the causes behind the worry, by taking many case studies. The advice given in the book are really helpful. Its a classic book that must be read if you are in depression and want to come out of it.


Carnegie wrote this book into eight parts.

PART I: Fundamental facts you should know about worry.

Often we worry because we take the burden of both the past and the future with us today. That makes the situation look much more difficult. What we should do is to focus just on today.To solve worry situations, there are three steps you should do. First, ask yourself “what is the worst that could happen?”. Second, be willing to accept the worst if necessary. Third, calmly try to fix the situation you have accepted.


PART II: Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry.

To overcome worrying, you should know how to analyze and solve worry problems. You can do that by finding and collecting all the facts, analyzing those facts, making a decision, and act on it. We usually worry about something we are uncertain about. Once we get everything clear, we can see what we should do about it.


PART III: How to Break the Worry Habit Before it Breaks You.

There is one simple way to crowd worry out of your mind: make yourself busy. When our mind is occupied with work, we won’t have time to worry. I think it applies not only to worry, but to all kinds of negative thoughts as well. We will greatly decrease their influence if we are busy doing something constructive. Often we aren’t happy because we try to change things we can’t change. One should learn to identify those things and accept them.


PART IV: Ways to Cultivate a Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness.

There is a “magic” way to cure depression: make other people happy. If you focus on how to make others happy, you will inevitable make yourself happy. The less you think about yourself, the more you will be happy.

One more important Rule: Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let expect it.


PART V: The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry.

Carnegie wrote in his book that one day when his father returned from Maryville, where the banker had threatened to foreclose the mortgage, he stopped his horses on a bridge crossing a river, got off the wagon, and stood for a long time looking down at the water, debating with himself whether he should jump in and end it all.

Years later, Carnegie Sr. told him that the only reason he didn’t jump was because of his mother’s deep, abiding, and joyous belief that if we loved God and kept His commandments everything would come out all right. His Mother was right. Everything did come out all right in the end. His Father lived forty-two happy years longer, and died in 1941, at the age of eighty-nine.


PART VI: How to Keep From Worrying About Criticism.

Do your work as good as possible and then open your umbrella so that the rain of criticisms won’t touch you. Once I’ve done my best, I can be happy no matter what people say.

One of the best teachers is your own experience. You can learn from it by taking notes of the fool things you have done and criticize yourself. If you constantly do this, you will constantly improve yourself.


PART VII: 6 Ways to Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High.

Dale Carnegie listed down the following six ways in his book: Rest before you get tired; Learn to relax at your work; Learn to relax at home; Apply good working habits (clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand; do things in the order of their importance; when you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision; and learn to organize, deputize, and supervise); To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work; and Remember that no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage – not the insomnia itself. If you can’t sleep, get up and work or read until you do feel sleepy.

While it may seem counter intuitive, one of the best ways to increase your productivity is to take rest regularly. Take rest before you feel tired. Doing this simple thing will energize yourself throughout the day and enable you to accomplish more.

Learning to banish boredom is essential for happiness. An effective way to do that is by making what you do interesting. Even things that look boring can be made interesting if you are creative.


PART VIII: “How I Conquered Worry”.

This part contains many stories of individuals who applied the principles outlined in previous parts. There are also some new tips that haven’t been covered before.


.....................................................................

Reading How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is like reading centuries’ worth of wisdom in one book.

Highly Recommended!

Lugesin selle eneseabiklassiku (1948!) läbi ja enam ei muretse.
Olen selle self-helpi maastiku/tööstusega väga põgusalt varem kokku puutunud, tervikuna ei olegi vist (?) ühtegi läbi lugenud. Teos on huvitav puhtalt eneseabitööstuse ajaloolisest seisukohast. Selline ”don't worry be happy” suhtumine, aga minu puhul toimis, ilmselt tänu oma kontsentreeritusele, võimalik, et raskematel juhtudel ei töötaks. Tekkis kohati tunne, nagu olekski viiekümnendad ja istun kuskil Ühendriikide kohvikus, ettekandjanna valab aga musta kohvi, teisel pool lauda istuvad erinevad elukogenud ja muretsemisest põhja kõrbenud inimesed, kes räägivad oma muretsuskogemusest. Ja muidugi on neil umbes tuhat
ükssada üksteist korda rohkem ja tõsisemat, mille pärast oma südant valutada ja pead vaevata.

Nüüdseks, kui olen muretsemist jõuliselt proovinud oma elust välja tõugata, olen näiteks avastanud, et
1) mu peas on palju vähem hämu ja seega mahub sinna rohkem vajalikku-kasulikku
2) olen võtnud kohustusi kergemalt ja midagi hullu pole seni juhtunud
3) üldiselt on palju rõõmsam olla

The book provides one with practical solutions to overcome one's worries, yet I found it quite long! I mean 300 pages of numerous examples of worrywarts in hope of the readers' identification with one of them are not necessary since their approach to prevail their fears and worries were almost the same in many cases. Carnegie's strive for assuring the reader that these examples are real by mentioning their full name and addresses was really on my nerves. The way he tried to tell the reader that just because s/he was not born so-and-so, s/he has to stop complaining about their worries was quite a self-esteem ruiner. And his strive to come up with religious names even made it worse.

کتاب نکته های کاربردی خوبی داره ولی واقعا 300 صفحه زیادیه و آوردن این همه مثال به امید اینکه بالاخره خواننده بتونه با یکیشون همذات پنداری کنه و به اضطرابش غلبه کنه ضرورتی نداره به خصوص که رویکرد افراد در غلبه به اضطرابشون تو خیلی از موارد از یک جنس هست ولی فقط ظاهر مشکلاتشون باهم فرق می کنه. تلاش نویسنده برای اینکه آدرس و اسم کامل افراد رو بیاره برخلاف تصور مرحوم که فکر می کرد اینطور بهتر میتونه اطمینان خواننده رو جلب کنه هم بیشتر رو اعصاب بود.
چیزی که واقعا غیرقابل تحمل بود این بود که چندجا سعی داشت بگه چون واسه فلانی و فلانی چنین اتفاقی افتاده اگر برای من و تو اتفاق بیافته که مشکلی نداره ما در برابر فلانی کی هستیم که شاکی بشیم یعنی رسما عزت نفس آدمی رو به فاک میده که حالا چون من فلانی نیستم آدم نیستم و در انتخاب فلانی هم دقت به خرج داده که مثلا اگر خواننده آدم مذهبی ای باشه لاقل از این منظر تحت تاثیر قرار بگیره .
نکته ی قابل توجه برای مخاطب های ایرانی اینه که اگر از دکتر هلاکویی خوشتون میاد با خوندن کتاب میفهمید دکتر این کتاب رو چندبار خونده و حتی تکیه کلام هاش رو هم اینجا پیدا می کنید مثلا "در تحلیل نهایی" یا "کوتاه سخن" که برای من جالب بود

הספר הזה נכתב בשנת 1944. זה פשוט מטורף כמה התכנים האלה רלוונטים גם היום. יותר מכך שזה מטורף, זה פשוט עצוב. נראה שהדאגה והחרדות לעולם לא יעזבו אותנו. זה הביולוגיה שלנו. בסופו של דבר יש בספר המון טיפים די טובים איך להתמודד עם דאגות וחרדות. מה הבעיה? שאני כבר כנראה מחר אשכח את הטיפים האלה. כל ספרי ״העזרה עצמית״ לא ממש עוזרים, לפחות לא לי.

בריאות הגוף והנפש לכולם :)

If you’ve ever worried more than you'd like to, read this book.

“No one living has enough emotion and vigor to fight the inevitable and, at the same time, enough left over to create a new life. Choose one or the other. You can either bend with the inevitable sleetstorms of life—or you can resist them and break!”

~ Dale Carnegie from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Dale Carnegie rocks.

If you’ve read How to Win Friends and Influence People, you’ve been exposed to his laid back, tell-it-like-it-is style.

If you’ve got a little more worry in your life than you’d like (who doesn’t, eh?!) then I think you’ll love this book.

Some of my favorite big ideas from this book include:

1. What Worry Does - It’s not good.
2. Live In: - Day-tight compartments.
3. Be Willing to Have It So - Don’t argue with reality.
4. Decide - And rock it!
5. Don’t Cry - Over spilt milk.
6. Rest - *BEFORE* you get tired.
7. The Answer to Fatigue? - 4 of ‘em.
8. Other People - (Aren’t) thinking about you.
9. Get Busy!!! - No leisure to be miserable.

I’ve summarized those Big Ideas in a video review that you can watch here: https://youtu.be/sY7FZ4loE0o?feature=...

I’ve also added How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie to my collection of Philosopher’s Notes--distilling the Big Ideas into 6-page PDF and 20-minute MP3s on 600+ of the BEST self-development books ever. You can get access to all of those plus a TON more over at https://heroic.us.

Stres dan cemas adalah dua hal yang pasti sudah sering kita alami. Di mana muncul rasa takut dan gelisah akibat sesuatu yang belum pasti terjadi. Selain itu pikiran kita juga biasanya dipenuhi dengan hal-hal negatif yang menguras energi baik secara fisik maupun emosional. Banyak sekali pemicu stres dan cemas, seperti pekerjaan, masalah ekonomi, hingga keluarga. Jika tidak diatasi stres dan cemas bisa membahayakan kesehatan kita hingga memicu kematian. Maka dari itu diperlukan cara dan usaha yang dapat mengurangi stres dan cemas. Buku Petunjuk Bebas Stres dan Cemas ini merupakan pilihan yang pas untuk menuntun kita kembali santai dan bahagia. Banyak sekali penjelasan yang akan membahas soal stres dan cemas. Mulai dari bahaya, cara mengurangi, hingga menghadapi perubahan. Kebanyakan materi yang ada dalam buku ini lebih ke dunia kerja. Namun, dampak dan manfaatnya akan sama-sama terasa jika diterapkan dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.

Kecemasan bisa timbul dalam berbagai cara. Biasanya hal-hal yang remeh sekali pun bisa membuat kita cemas. Padahal belum tentu hal-hal tersebut akan terjadi. Jika kita hanya berkutat pada kecemasan tanpa menghadapinya bisa dipastikan energi kita akan habis dan kesehatan pun akan memburuk. Walaupun hanya berupa perasaan, tapi kecemasan bisa menguras energi tubuh kita secara besar-besaran. Oleh karenanya kita perlu menganalisis penyebab kecemasan yang kita alami dengan cara mengumpulkan semua fakta yang ada, pertimbangkan fakta-fakta tersebut lalu buat keputusan, dan terakhir bertindak. Terdapat pula sepuluh saran yang bisa mengendalikan rasa cemas, yaitu:
1. Jangan ikut campur dalam urusan orang lain.
2. Jangan menaruh dendam.
3. Percaya pada diri sendiri.
4. Hilangkan rasa iri.
5. Jangan takut pada perubahan.
6. Belajarlah menerima hal-hal yang tak terelakan.
7. Jangan menangani tugas melampaui kemampuan kita.
8. Pastikan benak kita selalu sibuk.
9. Jangan menunda-nunda.
10. Belajar dari kesalahan kita.

Pekerjaan yang menumpuk dengan tenggat waktu yang dekat tak jarang akan menimbulkan stres. Stres adalah respon tubuh terhadap keadaan tertentu. Menurut Dr. Selye terdapat tiga bentuk stres, yaitu Eustress: stres positif yang memberi energi kepada kita dan meningkatkan fokus dan konsentrasi kita. Distress: respons stres yang destruktif dan negatif. Hyperstress: keadaan distress terus-menerus yang mengakibatkan dampak negatif terhadap hubungan, kesehatan, dan kinerja. Kita bisa menagani situasi stres dengan menerapkan salah satu atau lebuh dari "penghindar stres" dengan singkatan "STRESS":
S elf-discipline: disiplin diri
T ender loving care: kasih sayang yang lembut.
R elaxation: relaksasi.
E xercise: latihan/olahraga.
S ense of humor: rasa humor.
S eek help from others: mencari bantuan dari orang lain.

Stres juga bisa mengakibatkan keletihan, tapi keletihan tidak sama dengan stres yang berlebih. Pada saat stres, kita masih bisa membayangkan jika kita dapat mengendalikan situasi, kita akan merasa lebih baik. Keletihan, di lain pihak, adalah perasaan hampa, tidak memiliki motivasi, dan cenderung apatis. Ciri-ciri stres adalah mengakibatkan urgensi dan hiperaktivitas, hilangnya energi, dapat menyebabkan kegelisahan dan gangguan kesehatan, dan dapat menyebabkan sakit lambung, serangan jantung, dan penyakit fisik lainnya. Sedangkan ciri-ciri keletihan adalah mengakibatkan ketidakberdayaan dan keputusasaan, hilangnya motivasi, dapat menyebabkan sikap tidak peduli dan depresi, kerusakan utamanya adalah emosional, dan membuat hidup tampak tidak cukup bernilai untuk dijalankan. Lebih baik jika kita tahu akan level stres yang mengakibatkan keletihan dan mengambil langkah pencegahan seperti:
1. Dapatkan kejelasan tentang apa yang diharapkan dari kita.
2. Mintalah perubahan.
3. Mintalah tanggung jawab yang berbeda.
4. Ambillah cuti.

Secara keseluruhan buku Petunjuk Hidup Bebas Stres dan Cemas memberikan kiat dan solusi yang praktis, khususnya bagi manajer dan karyawan, agar bisa mengurangi dan menghadapi kecemasan, ketakutan, dan keletihan dalam dunia kerja yang menekan dan menuntut. Semua penjelasan disampaikan secara terstruktur dan rapi sehingga memudahkan kita untuk membaca, memahami, dan mencobanya sendiri dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Gaya bahasanya tergolong ringan, santai, dan hangat. Kita seakan-akan diberi solusi praktis secara langsung saat menghadapi stres dan cemas. Sebagai orang yang mudah cemas, apalagi mengenai hal-hal kecil sekalipun, saya merasa cukup terbantu dengan membaca buku ini. Bagaimana kita ditekankan agar terus berpikir positif, hilangkan perasaan negatif, dan terus berbuat kebaikan agar hidup bisa lebih bahagia. Namun, ada beberapa penjelasan yang diulang-ulang sehingga terkesan hanya memanjang-manjangkan isi buku ini. Selebihnya saya suka dengan pemaparan yang diberikan, bagaimana dalam setiap bab ada rangkuman yang ditulis agar kita bisa lebih memahami inti dari setiap bab. Stres dan cemas memang tidak bisa dihilangkan, tapi setidaknya melalui buku ini kita memiliki solusi yang praktis untuk meringankannya.

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.”
- Michel de Montaigne, French philosopher

You will find no new advice in this book. Dale Carnegie mentions this himself. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a collection of tips and tricks on how to reduce stress and the affects stress has on our body. Yet another great book by Dale Carnegie.

أستفدت منه كثيراً ,,
فقد كان أول كتاب أقرأه لذلك كأن أثره كبير جداً
رااائع جداً

جاء الكتاب مع بداية ثورة القلق
فصار العصا السحريّة لمشكلة العصر
وأُلّفت على خطاه آلاف الكتب حول العالم
منها جدّد حياتك للغزالي واستمتع بحياتك للعريفي
والوسائل المفيدة للحياة السعيدة للشيخ ابن سعدي
لكنّه يبقى مجرّد محاولة رياديّة مبكّرة مليئة بالثغرات
مثل اقتراح الانهماك بالعمل لعلاج القلق بينما هو مسكِّن
ولا يجد الإنسان كالتسليم لله والفرح بخيرات الأقدار علاجًا

پندهایی که دیل کارنگی تو این کتاب داده همه از تجربیات خودش نشات گرفته و با کمی فکر کردن به سخنانش می فهمیم که به چه نکات ریز و قابل توجهی اشاره کرده چیز هایی که همیشه جلوی چشممون بوده و ما به سادگی از کنارش رد می شدیم
یکی از پندهایی که از دیل کارنگی یاد گرفتم این بود که با کسی بحث نکنم چرا که اگر حق با تو هم باشه و شخص مقابل در مقابل تو ببازه کینه این مباحثه رو به دل می گیره و جایی عقده اش و سرت خالی می کنه
و دوم اینکه بحث کردن باعث ایجاد ناراحتی و کدورت میشه و رفته رفته کار و به جرو بحث و دعوا می کشونه
کتاب های دیل کارنگی و باید چندین بار خوند

Awesome book! What are you really worrying about? Makes you think and I specially love the stories from real people.