It’s probably a sign of my advancing years that I’m re-reading this book. My boss recommended it to me as part of my first job and it certainly felt like a chore. Getting to Yes is absurdly dense and is more of a textbook than the typical business/self-help dross. It’s an incredible collection of techniques, masterfully categorized into easy-to-remember approaches and filled with examples to spice up the reading. The stories about high-stakes politics in the 70s and 80s feel dated, but it’s still a superb tome for all but masterclass negotiators.

Recommended.

I read sections of this book for a class I took on diplomacy, and I figured I’d read the whole thing because now I owned the book and I finally got around to it this year. As is stated at one point in the book, most of this is just common sense laid out in detail. While I found that this is all stuff I already knew and do, there are many people in my life who have trouble dealing with conflicts and negotiations therein. I would recommend this to them a thousand times because the advice I give to them could all be found here and maybe then I wouldn’t have to repeat myself every time one of my friends is fighting with their friend/parent/significant other.

Read this for a course I’m taking. Great info but so dry

It's like what the authors had mentioned in the book: the contents are nothing new and most people would already have known a thing or two about the strategies laid out in the book. Nonetheless, the book remains to be incredibly valuable for the general public as it establishes a solid strategical framework that we can refer to in a negotiation.

■ Negotiation is a means to mutually beneficial agreement
Negotiation is often viewed as zero-sum game, where one party is the winner and the other loser in the process. However, it is so not the case. Negotiation is just a means to an end -> a mutually beneficial agreement. Instead of a head-to-head bargaining, it is more useful to view negotiation as a side-by-side problem solving process.

■ Don't fixate on your positions early on!
While the foundational understanding on negotiation seems obvious when we are not in it, people tend to lose this vision when we are engaging in a negotiation. Throughout negotiations, people tend to engage in positional bargaining where each party "takes side, argues for it, and makes concessions until a compromise is reached."

But premature commitment to position does not do us any good: it locks us down to our side, impeding us from looking beyond for the underlying interests of each party and inhibiting our ability to think out of the box to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

■ principled negotiation
All negotiations happen on two levels,
- substance level: where we deal with what we are negotiating, e.g. salary, price, etc.
- procedural level: where we establish an accepted process for the substantive negotiation to happen.

Most of the time, the procedural level happens in the backdrop without our conscious control as we are not aware of its presence. For instance, how hard or soft are we bargaining are dependent on the 'flow' of the negotiation, our relationship with the other party affects the direction of negotiation, the power dynamics and psychological factors at play, etc.

Although it is usually not conscious, god knows how important a role it plays in negotiation processes. Getting to Yes introduces a methodological framework, which the authors termed as "principled negotiation" as a reference point where we can be more aware of and control the procedural level in negotiation processes.

The framework consists of 4 key elements which we are expected to work on:
- people: separate people from the problem. Instead of viewing them as the representative of other side, understand that they are human as well. Address their core concerns (autonomy, appreciation, affiliation, purpose and status).

- interest: Instead of locking down to positions, take our liberty to understand the underlying interests of both sides and communicate them effectively. Make sure that we negotiate on the same ground instead of fixating on the positions. Afterall, our positions are just a means to achieve the interests, not the other way round.

- options: Invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do. Remember, negotiation, for the most part, is a problem solving process to optimize for each other's underlying interests. Be open for the means that we can take as long as the ends are met.

- criteria: while the authors can't emphasize enough on mutual interests in negotiation, there always will be conflicting interests. In such cases, insisting to stick with some objective, external standard helps to provide legitimacy for our claims.

This is a guide book, an instruction. Very well structured, stingy for providing examples, but the book you'll leave on your desk for reference. I made lots of notes and refer back to it before every more or less significant occasion to negotiate anything - weekend plans with my wife or to do list with my team at work.

"Because you can never be sure what their strategy will be, it is far better to know the terrain than to plan on taking one particular path through the woods"

"In many ways, negotiation is like athletics: Some people have more natural talent, and like the best athletes, they may gain the most from preparation, practice, and coaching. Yet, those with less natural talent have more need for preparation, practice, and feedback, and much to gain by it. Whichever you are, there is much to learn, and hard work will pay off. It is up to you."

"Your reputation for honesty and fair-dealing may be your single most important asset as a negotiator".

"If emotions are acknowledged and people are treated with respect even when they disagree"..

President JFK: " Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate"

John F Kennedy famously said in his 1961 Inaugural Address, "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." For most of us, negotiation is almost synonymous with fear. How do we move to a place of negotiating with confidence and peace? 'Getting to Yes' is as good a place to start that process as any I could imagine.

'Getting to Yes' was first published in 1981. In this, the third edition of this time tested book, the authors begin acknowledging the flattening of the workplace. If anything, flatter organizations make Fisher and Ury's work all the more important. It's not surprising then, that they note that "a generation ago, the term 'negotiation' also had an adversarial connotation. In contemplating a negotiation, the common question in people's minds was, 'Who is going to win and who is going to lose?'" Fisher and Ury suggest there is a better way in 'Getting to Yes' and then show you how to get there.

As a pastor, you might think that negotiation isn't a skill I have to use very often, but Fisher and Ury's book was not only helpful to me in my personal life (I'm currently negotiating a contract with a solar company and have over the past two years negotiated a home sale, a car purchase, a job contract, to name just a few). But our lives are filled with negotiation. Even in my role as a pastor, negotiation is a daily occurrence, from negotiating sermon series to recruiting people into ministry roles, to navigating ministry direction, to negotiating staff culture and church vision documents. Simply put, we all need Fisher and Ury's book.

In their clearly outlined book, they suggest that the most significant problem is that we bargain over positions. To transform our ability to successfully negotiate we must do the following four things:
1) Separate the people from the problem;
2) Focus on interests, not positions;
3) Invent options for mutual gain;
4) Insist on using objective criteria.

Some important insights along this journey include the ability to absorb criticism and not take it personally, to "face the problem, not the people," and to find compatible interests as you negotiate. Fisher and Ury recommend that you always try to uncover the methodology of how the other party created their offer and to work on principles and method they used to develop their offer. They also recommend always walking into a negotiation with a BATNA- best alternative to a negotiated agreement. If you don't have a plan B, then you can become tunnel-visioned in your negotiation. They also say that when we present an offer, our impulse is to defend our ideas, but we put ourselves in the best position if we"invite criticism" and advice.

Fisher and Ury then lead us through three frequent objections or roadblocks: what if they are more powerful? What if they won't play? Or what if they use dirty tricks? And then they conclude with a very practical section that negotiates ten frequently asked questions about applying their methods.

I was impressed not just with the combination of clarity and thoroughness from Fisher and Ury, I was also impressed by how ethically grounded 'Getting to Yes' was. One of their FAQs they respond to is "Should I be fair if I don't have to be?" Thy respond, "Sometimes you may have an opportunity to get more than you think would be fair. Should you take it. In our opinion, not without careful thought." They go on to explain that there is the potential for relational and spiritual/psychological fall-out.

Negotiation, unsurprisingly, also is most effective face to face. They shared interesting data from a study: "In a negotiation where only sellers knew what an item was worth, the results varied dramatically based on the mode of communication. In face-to-face interactions, only a small minority of sellers lied and took advantage. But in written interactions a third did and in phone negotiations more than half did. Meanwhile buyers were appropriately wary in written interactions, but generally trusting in face-to-face and phone negotiations, leading many telephone buyers to be seriously disadvantaged. Almost 60 percent of face-to-face interactions resulted in mutually beneficial agreements, while only 22 percent did in written interactions and 38 percent in telephone negotiations."

One of the most intense negotiations I've ever had to walk through was as a green pastor, purchasing land from the largest land owner in the county (maybe the state, depending on who was telling the story). He was wealthiest man I've ever negotiated with and, well past retirement age, appeared to still be in the game merely for the sport of it. We heard stories that he would counter with higher figures and cancel contracts just to toy with the buyer. This seller was the perfect fusion of the three biggest roadblocks: he was more powerful, wouldn't play, and used dirty tricks. I was grateful to have two much more skilled negotiators with me who clearly had imbibed the 'Getting to Yes' planning and watch them in action. The negotiation wasn't about beating this master, it was about establishing clear communication where we understood what would be a win for him (the price he wanted) while developing creative options that benefited us (partial financing, very flexible contract cancellation clauses). I'm grateful for the life tutorials that preceded Fisher and Ury's book and then the clear and practical presentation of those ideas in 'Getting to Yes.' I highly recommend the book.

This is an excellent book with so much great information. It’s easy to read and understand. I love it’s focus on negotiating through principal, morality, and merit. This isn’t how to sleazily win an argument - it’s how to creatively work out differences and find the best possible solution for everyone.

I read this book with one course which i am doing on Coursera on negotiation and found it very useful. It gives you insight that how wrong i was in various negotiation. Obviously i need to practise these learnings in my daily life so i can be better negotiator.

This would be an awesome book to go along with class lectures and in-class practice of the ideas in here. As the authors state, this isn't anything new, but to be able to follow a lot of these ideas, you really do need to practice a lot and prepare. It's filled with great examples to illustrate their points. Great for anyone who wants to up their negotiation game.

Great book about basics of negotiations. It's full of case studies and presents a basic framework for getting things done by focusing negotiators on the problem instead of one another. Highly recommended.

I have never read a book on negotiating before, and am surprised by how much I enjoyed, learned and benefitted from reading Getting to Yes. A friend recommended that I read this because I was facing a difficult conversation at work, and I'm glad she did.

I thought the writing style might be academic, since the authors developed a course on principled negotiation which they teach at Harvard, but it's written in clear everyday language which anyone can apply, whether you're negotiating with a spouse, a boss, a landlord, or doing international trade negotiations (which one of the authors specializes in.)

I appreciated the focus on using reason, finding common ground, working together to find solutions, and avoiding game playing and power struggles. I appreciated this statement: "A more effective way for the parties to think of themselves is as partners in a hardheaded, side-by-side search for a fair agreement advantageous to each."

If only this approach were used more widely in business, in politics, in relationships and in life. Highly recommended.