car salesmen... i'm onto you.

The books okay I guess but a lot of the strategies are so intuitive and the writing wasn't the greatest. Again it's the same thing with all these business books where if you've read one the rest usually don't add anything new but if you haven't read any it could be insightful. These books are usually just useful for helping organize ones thoughts and realize things they couldn't other wise but you can achieve that with some quite thinking time also.

I'm getting generous with non-fiction writers. That's weird. I think textbooks are not appreciated enough. It is sort of a textbook. Very academic at its core. Again, thanks to the random stranger for buying it for me. It rarely so happens that you get good books when you work around books. Mostly, it's vampire romances that you have to politely refuse to. Anyway. It's anything but vampire romance. It actually added a bit of practical value to the disarray of thoughts I reckon at times. I find it funny and refreshing that they have terms dedicated to everyday insights we get through our modest experiences. But mostly I find it funny. Not a fan of business how-tos and don'ts, but hello, if you're something about high politics, I'll welcome you gladly. It's not about traditional high politics. It's too nice for that. It's ideal. I'm okay with ideal if it has even a tiny bit of tendency for practicality. It does.

I'm not big for structured reviews. I prefer personal ones. But I think a few takeaways always help those who live structured lives. Again, totally unnecessary.

1. Don't bargain over positions, it will take you away from the actual substance of talks and your real achievable goals/interests. Successively defending your positions will drain you out and make you feel like a loser if it's compromised to reach an agreement with the other party.

2. Moderation is the key to any dispute resolution mechanism (the book didn't say that, but I implied from its contents). And there's midway between soft and hard methods of negotiation called 'principled negotiation'. It is what the name suggests. Use a soft approach with people but stick to the agreed principles of the talks.

3. If a party doesn't play along on principled grounds, bring their 'tactics' to an open discussion. But don't criminalize them or portray them as liars. It'll destroy your chances to talk in the future. And talks always come around because you entered the negotiation process as you thought it was the best way out of that conflict.

4. Read it yourself. I read it through an international talks perspective, you might find the principled method applicable to everyday conflicts and interactions.

My only problem with the book:

Umm. It just gets too neo-liberal at times especially when the author uses examples from famous world disputes. 'Free-World' syndrome is real in the White world. But that's a separate debate we'll have some other day.

This one was pretty technical. The authors really break down the thought process of having a principled negotiation instead of trying to negotiate either "soft" or "hard." They provide a variety of examples/case studies that emphasize the point. Not going to lie, this was a bit dry, but very good book if you want to read more about different leadership styles.

"Getting to Yes" breaks down key concepts from the authors such as "Don't Bargain Over Positions," "Separate the People from the Problem" and "Focus on Interests, Not Positions." Through each breakdown they go through and provide an example to emphasis their point. I thought this book at times was dry, but I like the constant reinforcement that they are trying to get to in which that every negotiation that you have with either a boss, a direct report, or peer, you can work to make sure that you are principled in your negotiations and don't need to start from a soft or hard position. I have a boss right now that all he does is try to argue his point with our whole team and never listens to a thing we say. That leads to resentment among the rest of us and also anger. It's frustrating to know that you are being ignored since the boss wants to do things his or her own way without taking into consideration other people. It didn't help in our case that he was totally wrong in his approach and we (the team) are paying for it now.

One of my favorite chapters though was "What if They Are More Powerful?" or Develop your BATNA-Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. And believe me I paid attention to this just because a deputy I work for likes to win. You can see him just thinking about his retort when other people are speaking. Drives me up the wall. This chapter though takes you through steps such as protecting yourself, the costs of knowing your bottom line, and knowing your BATNA.

Definitely recommend for a leadership course. And will say once again this is pretty dry.

This is a solid primer for negotiation, and when written in 1981 it was the first to throw out the win/lose aspect of negotiations or as one might say "my way or the highway" attitude to one of a more principled negotiation process. Much of the substance of the book is not new at this point, but well worth the read. It emphasizes staying on point with the issue, don't let personalities (people issues) muddy the waters, find common ground etc. This 1991 second edition only adds and did not change or edit from the first edition. The addition at the end works through "Ten Questions People Asked About (the book)" I thought there was a lot of good information embedded in this 36 page section.

" ...the first thing you are trying to win is a better way to negotiate-a way that avoids your having to choose between the satisfactions of getting what you deserve and of being decent. You can have both."

great book for girl bossing and gas lighting

Yeah look quality information but just quite a lot of it. Not in the best frame of mind to be reading it.... 3 stars cheers Roger

This is a book about negotiations. We negotiate almost every day, whether its about the idea you came up with at work, which movie to see in the cinema or convincing somebody to do something. For those who want deeper insights into the art of principal based negotiations, this is a gem. I have used the knowledge I gained consciously so many times. I often in the middle of negotiations find myself thinking of the principals I learned, and have used them very successfully. There is no need to waste time on positional bargaining, there is a better way.

كتاب جميل جدا عن التفاوض المبنى على المبادئ
فهدف الكتاب ليس اعطاء نصائح للفوز بالتفاوض
وإنما وضع اسس لاستخدامها في في التفاوض ليتنتثي النقاش بفوز كلا الطرفين.
وهذه المبادئ الأربعة هي:
١- الفصل بين الناس وبين المشكلة
٢- الفصل بين منافع الناس ومواقفهم
٣- اقتراح بدائل أخرى وتوليديها
٤- التحكيم بوجهة طرف ثالثة (تحكيم موضوعي)ـ

وقد اطلق المؤلف على الإلتزام بهذه الخلطة اسم
Principled Negotiation

meh
lo leí para una tarea de la u

não era este o livro que eu esperava acabar este fim-de-semana

Есть третий путь ведения переговоров, предусматривающий позицию, основанную не на слабости или твердости, а скорее объединяющий и то и другое. Метод принципиальных переговоров, разработанный в рамках Гарвардского проекта по переговорам, состоит в том, чтобы решать проблемы на основе их качественных свойств, т. е. исходя из сути дела, а не торговаться по поводу того, на что может пойти или нет каждая из сторон. Этот метод предполагает, что вы стремитесь найти взаимную выгоду там, где только возможно, а там, где ваши интересы не совпадают, следует настаивать на таком результате, который был бы обоснован какими-то справедливыми нормами независимо от воли каждой из сторон. Метод принципиальных переговоров означает жесткий подход к рассмотрению существа дела, но предусматривает мягкий подход к отношениям между участниками переговоров. Он не прибегает к трюкам и не использует фактор положения. Принципиальные переговоры показывают, как достичь того, что вам полагается по праву, и остаться при этом в рамках приличий. Этот метод дает вам возможность быть справедливым, одновременно предохраняя от тех, кто мог бы воспользоваться вашей честностью.