I've read this book as it came to me as a classic must read, and I've found it really interesting, but not by its main content.

Reading this over 40 years after its publication leaves little room for surprise or startling at the fantasies told here, but it is a wonderful portrait of the women at the time and their social environment. Also, for nobody's surprise, it was funny reading about the feminist censorship of the time, not so different of today's.

Aside from false info in this book , some lines just state how ignorant the author is like : I do not know why in this particular age women start to mastrubate (8 -12)? Maybe just maybe because this is the age where girls hit puberty?
And the racism OMG, I just do not know why western people can not consider black race as part of people , they just categories them always as different people

I started off confused when reading this as the author's comments didn't strike any chords with me at all, and then I realised that it was published decades ago. It's very dated.

'You could say that a woman’s life was made for fantasy. All those idle hours, the boring repetitive jobs that her hands do automatically, the endless opportunities to reflect, construct and reconstruct. In a sense we were born to dream, to stay at home... it is how most men dream of us. Even today’s superwomen who leave the house to go to work ...'

'This lifelong habit of rumination is what makes women so good at fantasy; daydreams are often as close as they ever get to what they really want. A man finding desire upon him can pick up the phone, go see someone, ask a girl out, or order one.'

I'm pretty sure this is not true of either men or women.

There's no doubt that this book was important in its time and if women still find it valuable then more power to them and the author. I was just bored.

An exercise in projection and selection bias, My Secret Garden offers more of the author’s personal inclinations than the broader spectrum of female sexual fantasies. Rather than achieving its purported goal of humanizing or destigmatizing these fantasies, the book inadvertently does the opposite.

Friday puts together a patchwork of uncommon, often disordered relationships with intimacy and uses them as evidence to argue, “We’re all strange.” This creates a skewed portrayal that favours voices from the margins of the socio-sexual spectrum. Her interspersed commentary, filled with weak justifications—such as praising dogs as superior partners for their “unconditional love”—only underscores the lack of critical depth.

Ultimately, the book comes across as a self-indulgent exercise, thinly veiled in feminist lingerie, attempting to legitimize its content (and quite possibly the author’s own disordered behaviours) by claiming universal relevance. A disappointing, at times terribly uncomfortable, read that falls far short of its intended purpose.

I can't believe that people ever had such a hard time believing that women fantasize sexually, but then I look around, and I can totally believe it. I thought that this was an excellent compilation of a broad spectrum of fantasies, presented largely without judgment or explanation, save for the repetitive admonition that 'people don't have any control over what their fantasies are.' The psychologist in me wants to hear what the impetus behind these fantasies are, but that isn't within the scope of this book, and she wisely doesn't ever do more than speculate at what the driving force might be.

As a man, I found the fantasies to be of the sort that I'd expect anyone to have. Some of them are odd, or perverse, or immoral, and not all of them have the same effect on all people, which is the idea she was presenting: Each woman, like each man, is different in what they fantasize about, and the fantasy of a woman are no less valid or important than those of a man.

I'd recommend this for any women, as I am sure that there is something in this anthology that you'll read and say "oooohhhh, yes!!! I've thought about that as well!!!" But I'd also recommend this to my progressive male friends, who can appreciate that women are autonomous and independent of us, because most of the themes of the fantasies presented are modified only slightly when men fantasize, and that's a comforting thought for many; that what we fantasize about doesn't make us 'weird' or 'perverted' - chances are your partner feels the same way about their fantasies. It's a good reminder to be kind and accepting of each other, and hopefully we'll get some of that in return.

This was an important and controversial book when it was first published and having seen more than my fair share of online discourse about people being disgusted by women's fantasies, I feel like it still is today. Reading the fantasies of all these different women and recognising your own or else being completely taken aback that anyone could fantasise about THAT was really fascinating. And - well - also just plain hot at times, because, let's face it, this book is very much more smut than serious piece of sociological research.
On the other hand, some of it was rather repetitive and I felt like the author psychoanalysed a bit much. Sure, she may have a point with some of her explanations of where certain fantasies originate, but assuming it's the same for every woman with a similar fantasy just feels utterly simplistic.

This book was the first of its kind. Unlike Alfred Kinsey’s research, the author took her samplings from a larger, random audience of participants. Friday includes fantasies from all walks of women, across various continents and of different ethnicities.

From a scholar of human sexuality’s standpoint, it is organized as well as it could have been for the time in which it was written. At some points while reading, there is a bit of a disconnect between the author’s drawn-out words and the provided fantasies. Toward the end it all came together, though. The afterward helps debunk a lot of the common neigh-sayer reviews, even like the ones seen on this app.

The chapter on guilt seems to be the most timeless portion of the book, but that might just be my perspective. At times the text seemed to be never-ending, but I appreciate all the hard work that went into publishing it. (all puns intended…)

My Secret Garden is an important book, but it's very firmly a by-product of it's time. Friday's insistence to accept all fantasies, regardless of their content, as acceptable, permissible, and novel because of their impact on sexual pleasure and gratification, it's difficult to not ask questions about how these fantasies relate to the socio-political backgrounds of the women who have them. True, fantasies may not be related to a cultural context but rather a personal context, or it may be impossible to read the origins of a fantasy from a person's history; however, it's telling that there are consistent images and motifs running through fantasies, so much so that Friday groups them into various rooms in one very kinky house. It's also telling that Friday comes to certain fantasies that once had traction but admits that they have shifted over time to the point of becoming obsolete. If a fantasy can become obsolete due to cultural shifts, there is more to them than simply getting off.

That being said, I understand Friday's reluctance to contextualize fantasies. My Secret Garden was fighting for the legitimacy of female sexuality and female sexual fantasy. Raising questions about where the fantasies come from undermine the goal of assuaging female guilt and repression regarding their sexuality, and given the current cultural climate of purity policing, Friday's book could have easily become another tool of sexual oppression. Nevertheless, for a 21st century reader invested in sexual politics and intersectional feminism, the scope of the book is limited. Friday produced a necessary first step, but we have a long way to go.

I kept hearing about this book as evidence that "women like sex, too." I didn't really need a book to tell me that, but what this book does show is how sexual women really are. They have a lot of sexual fantasies, some quite kinky that men would be surprised to hear about.

I skimmed through some of it, but it is definitely a book to check out, especially if you are hesitant about being sexual around women. Women are sexual creatures too, and this book definitely shows that.

This book seems a bit dated, I skipped over a lot of the blah blah which was aimed at a female audience newly experiencing the sexual revolution. Nevertheless, some of these women's fantasies still pack a wallop.

Definitely way out of my comfort zone and a great recommendation from a friend. Gave me a new perspective on fantasies in general, their purpose and legality in a modern society. As a Male it is always interesting to pick the mind of a woman and see how they express themself in these matters. I would have liked it more if there where larger parts regarding the science behind sexuality, reading fantasy after fantasy becomes a bit mundane after a while.

I believe this book is important, but it’s really a coup to take a topic this interesting and turn it into something so tedious. And I could definitely have done without the rant against “the Matriarchal Feminists’ anti-male agenda” at the beginning, and the constant refrain of “all sex-shaming starts with our mothers.” No, it doesn’t. I’d love to see a modern version of this.