And before internet porn and Shades of Grey there was one clever lady who collected other people's fantasies and packaged them neatly into a book with only the bare minimum of pseudo-intellectual, psycho babble around it as was required to make it past censorship - and hey presto a multimillion dollar book was born. I still take my hat off to Mrs Friday for letting others do the work but also thank her for the copy that existed in my parents' house and that introduced me to fantasising beyond meeting the object of my desire in the first place...although, personally, I could have done without the incest and the bestiality. Tongue in cheek aside: an important book in the liberation of women that deserves its status.

I would like to unread this / delete it from my brain.

According to this book, it’s pretty clear that most women fantasize about powerful masculine men with a brutal, dark side. It’s kind of ironic that feminists nowadays have determined masculinity to be a poison that should be eradicated from society. As one woman in the book said, these strong masculine men are often not available, since they’re in such a high demand, so she had to contend with someone lesser. Perhaps there’s a connection there? The good old “If I can’t get them, nobody should.”

The book has some other feminist talking points about oppression and victimhood of women and undoing the basic differences between men and women but other than that, considering it was written during second wave feminism, it is pretty tame compared to feminism in recent years. Besides, most of the author’s analysis of women’s fantasies is sensible and useful. I can only imagine what some of today’s prominent feminists would write about this topic.

Whatever the opinions or ideology of the author, the fantasies sent in by the women are brutally honest and unfiltered by any ideological framework. This is why this book is a tremendously valuable source of insight for men and perhaps also for other women. Nevertheless, writing as a man, I feel like this side of womanhood is something that is rarely encountered by men and yet is an important aspect of understanding women. So what can we learn here as men? First and foremost, whatever anyone says, masculinity, masculine strength and power with an integrated darker side of the persona are exceedingly desirable by women and should be cultivated. Secondly the general themes that women fantasize about, revolve around the man handling, dominating and controlling the woman so that should definitely be something to think about. Other than that, as long as trust and loyalty is established, men shouldn’t be intimidated by their partners’ fantasies as they can be a source of much joy and pleasure.

Love a bit of second wave feminist literature. This book still feels really fresh and relevant almost 50 years on. I could connect with the contributors to Nancy Friday's project, despite the generational, social and cultural differences since this was written. It's interesting to think of the women who bared all for this book, now elderly or passed away, and how women everywhere can still access their accounts of sexual fantasy and who may even be having the same fantasies or challenges in their lives today. A sobering thought really.