Couldn’t finish the last 100 pages or so. Read this after reading Want by Gillian Anderson, and it’s interesting reading the “OG” on women’s sexual fantasies. Unfortunately, compared to Want, it’s not structured as well, the stories are quite redundant, and it doesn’t have any trigger warnings nor are the more illicit content focused into sections so they tend to pop up throughout the book. Again, like Want, women are quite gay

In turns titilating and downright boring, this was an eye opener in some ways. I know plenty of guys (myself included) with a long standing history of mentally going to the highlight reel of either past experience or fantasy to get them over the hump when they are having trouble finishing during sex. It really never occurred to me that women might do the same. Once I had the idea presented to me, it made perfect sense.

The psuedo-scientific approach was very lacking in any kind of organization, short of allegorically, but the grouping was enough to know when you were about to need to do some skimming over the more disinteresting portions, so I guess there is that.

One more eye opening thing that I got from this, was the PURE fantasy. I always thought of fantasies as someting you need to make come true. The fantasy for fantasy sake is another thing that just never popped into my head. Maybe the typical guy mind set of, "Oh you want something, lets get / do / find / buy whatever it is..." is just too ingrained in our heads, but I liked the idea. It made some of the more degrading mixed domination / beastiality much easier to stomache.

* Women's Fantasies are wild, weird & sometime fucked up.
- But the same culture that gave men this freedom sternly barred it to women, leaving us sexually mistrustful of each other, forcing us into patterns of deception, shame, and above all, silence.
- In fantasy they can expand their reality, play out certain sexual variables and images in much the same way that children enter into fantasy as a form of play, of trying out desires, releasing energies for which they have no outlet in reality.

Helped me understand a lot of stuff, both about myself and others, when I was a teen.

I remember reading this when it came out and being slightly shocked: not because so many women had so many fantasies but because they were so varied and well-developed. I've come a long way since then and I have an idea that women have, too, judging by some of what they've told me and some of the books currently available. I remember the scene in "When Harry Met Sally" where Meg Ryan describes a fantasy to Billy Crystal that seemed so vague when I was reading erotic literature at that time, by both men and women, and wondered where they found someone either so boring or (more likely) so reserved. A groundbreaking book, for men and women.

womens discusting fantasies from the 1970s

Could a collection of women's sexual fantasies from the 70s still shock a reader in the Fifty Shades era?

It sure can.

Though it's easy to become desensitised after the first 100 or so pages of orgies, horses, dogs, whips and big black men.

But telling those fantasies off as silly or deviant is exactly what this book goes in against.Your fantasies are your own, and while you risk scorn when sharing them with the world, and may experience a feeling of guilt as a consequence, ultimately it doesn't matter if it makes you feel good.

What most surprised me about this book, other than the level of openness of these 70s women, other than the large apparent attraction of Alsatians (I learned a word!), and other than the large number of women already married with children and in a not-so-happy marriage by the time they're 22... was how touching some of these fantasies were.

(No, not that kind of touching.)

A lot of these fantasies seem to reflect a great yearning these women feel for tenderness and love. Many fantasies describe not sexual acts, but situations in which the woman is admired, told she's worth looking at and caring for. Some women just fantasise about walks on the beach. Other contributions that touched me in a way:

- The woman, who was most definitely not a lesbian, but who often fantasised about being with a woman, and who often had sexual encounters with a lesbian friend of hers, which made me feel for that friend.

- The man who wrote in to tell that his wife had no fantasies whatsoever thank you very much, and signed the letter in her name.

- The woman who had been sexually abused in her childhood by a member of the school staff, and grew up to be a member of a school staff herself, and now abused her pupils in the same way. A sad vicious cycle.

- The man who wrote in to share the fantasy of his now late wife, who confessed to him about fantasising about a certain actor. During sex they then acted out that fantasy, and the day after he went to buy an outfit reminiscent of that actor. This made his wife cry, as she had been afraid he actually wouldn't be able to look him in the eye anymore after the previous night.

Singling out these fantasies probably says something about me in return, but I'll leave it at that.

In short, this is a good bedside-table book, or train book, if you're not too much of a blusher.

After reading the first chapter and then skimming it, i just couldn’t get there. What am i supposed to feel? It s raw and Lacks personal point of view. The introduction was poorly written, and then the book structure was all over the place in my opinion. What’s the point of a book which just bluntly dives into women’s fantasies without analysis or something that could make it meaningful. If you are curious of people’s fantasies vulgar and ok ish written go for it. If you expect something more constructed and thorough , skip it.

"My Secret Garden" is a collection of many women's fantasies. First published in 1973, it was rather outspoken at the time. Nancy Friday breaks fantasies down into fifteen main rooms: anonymity, audience, rape, pain, domination, terror, the forbidden, transformation, earth mother, incest, animals, big black men, young boys, fetishists, and other women. Towards the end Friday also includes some women who played out their fantasies, and some who actively engaged in fantasy with their partner.

Friday tends to include her thoughts in between sections, and occasionally when introducing people. I found her thoughts tended to be writing for the heterosexual female reader, and not necessary for the book. I think the book would have been more interesting if it was just women's fantasies and chaptered by different themes.

All in all, this was an informative, interesting, and erotic read.

No me ha gustado nada, pensé que me aportaría algo más y parecía surrealista lo que leí

4 stars. Solid book with some flaws.

Written in the 1970s, My Secret Garden was written with the ambition to extend the women's liberation movement to the sexual realm. Nancy Friday posted an ad asking for women's real sex fantasies, and the book is a collection of more than 100 letters she received in response.

This book is a very worthy read, as it offers the reader access into the private sexual thoughts of countless women. If you thought women were delicate, pure, prude beings, you are up for a serious surprise.

The first 2 chapters were definitely a mind bender. "Do women think *that much* about sex? Are they really *that* wicked? All of them?"
I found chapter 3 to be particularly instructive as it groups fantasies by themes, making comments as to why some themes might be so appealing. More than a book of women's sexuality, chapter 3 makes it a book on the wild possibilities of sex, as I discovered that I resonate strongly with some themes. As such, I find the book to be a good introduction to the landscape of sex.

I have to admit, I found one aspect of the book particularly challenging: women fantasize about other men during sex. Being quite prone to jealousy, I imagine that I would feel quite uneasy if I were to know that my partner thinks about someone else in my presence.
Nancy Friday's comment on this is mostly that women shouldn't be judged for their fantasies. And while I find most themes entertaining at least (including dog sex), the "other men" part would be difficult for me to accept. But she also touches on why this may be: women's fantasies confront men to the unconquerable rival, the imagined lover who would satisfy her more than they ever could.
I'm not sure how much this side note should be a criticism of the book, though, given that it was mainly intended for a female audience to gain awareness of their fantasies. As a male reader, I am rather a fly on the wall listening to these private thoughts.

I will put it as a criticism though. This book takes the position that no sexual fantasy should be judged, and that the decision to act on them or not should be left to the woman.
Turning the tables, I don't think women would be too happy about men claiming the right to shamelessly glance at younger, firmer, curvier women than their spouses.

A key lesson of this book is that women use their imagination to turn themselves on, and that they tend to know quite well which corners of their imagination turn them on. Whether for masturbation or for reaching stronger orgasms with their partners, I'm all for it.

Reading through the book, I kept thinking about an old warning. In the advent of novels a few centuries ago, women were strongly discouraged from reading books for it might "give them ideas." Now I know exactly what that warning was about.

2 things I was quite happy to learn: 1, some women do look at men's crotches, and 2, some women with an exhibitionist kink make a deliberate choice not to wear panties. Reading these as 1st person confessions was quite enlightening.

Throughout the book I kept wondering: how representative is this if the broader female population? Do *all* women fantasize? Does this book merely present the biased sample of women who do fantasize?
The book doesn't provide an answer.
Well. I guess the only way to find out is to open this conversation with the women of my life and find out (only my intimate friends, that is!)

Interesting book. Not shocking to me per say, I can stomach a lot. There's a wide variety of fantasies in this book. From your classic "I want to fuck the post man" to women who want or do, naughty things with their pets. In certain parts, this book just gets downright strange. But, I guess that's the beauty of human fantasy. It's all different and inside a fantasy bubble you can do what you want without being judged. When looked at from a physiological point of view, the book was quite interesting.