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What follows is a transcript of an occurrence that transpired within my place of residence approximately a month before my destruction at the tiny, filthy hands of Frodo. An orc captain, Glumbarg, entered unbidden with a proposition of sorts.
Glum.: Oh great and wise Sauron, who speakest wisdom for and through all Ages, I beg of thee to hear my humble proposal, and to dignify it with no less than seven and one-half seconds of thoughtful contemplation! To have access to your great Ear, O Earless One, is beyond any honor I might have fant–"
Saur.: Speak.
Glum.: My gratitude, most magnificent Lord Sauron. Hast thou ever considered the military and tactical advantages bestowed by the great and heavenly enlightenment that accompanies deep and intricate knowledge of the digestive and intestinal systems of the common fly? It–"
I incinerated him on the spot.
Glum.: Oh great and wise Sauron, who speakest wisdom for and through all Ages, I beg of thee to hear my humble proposal, and to dignify it with no less than seven and one-half seconds of thoughtful contemplation! To have access to your great Ear, O Earless One, is beyond any honor I might have fant–"
Saur.: Speak.
Glum.: My gratitude, most magnificent Lord Sauron. Hast thou ever considered the military and tactical advantages bestowed by the great and heavenly enlightenment that accompanies deep and intricate knowledge of the digestive and intestinal systems of the common fly? It–"
I incinerated him on the spot.