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Deception Point by Dan Brown
I read 'The Da Vinci Code' & 'Angels & Demons'. I quite enjoyed them. 'Deception Point', published in 2001 is another story (no pun intended). I could only stomach 30 pages before i threw in the towel. What a load of unmitigated, illogical, wooden, cliched rubbish. But i'll waste another 20 minutes out of my life to tell you why.
In the first few pages some bloke out in the frozen wastes of (Antarctica?) is descended on by two fellows who land in a helicopter, hold him up at gunpoint, force him to send a message via radio, bundle him & his equipment (sleigh & dogs) onto the helicopter. The helicopter climbs to 4,000 feet & then they toss him , his dogs & the sleigh out of the rear of the copter. Why/ I have no idea. Nor do i care (see above). No doubt the reader discovers why this happens later in the book. I wish i cared why, but i don't. Why throw him out? If they wanted the 'powers that be' to think he had had an accident, why not just kill him & leave him for the dogs to consume when they got hungry? Illogical!
Next we are introduced to two fellows hunkering down, presumably in the same frozen waste. They are introduced as Delta One & Delta Two. Really? I mean, the reader is an invisible observer. Why call them Deltas One & Two? Why not Cyril & Bruce? One can only wonder how their conversations went:
Delta Two: "So, Delta One, your youngest boy, Delta One Jnr starts school soon doesn't he?"
Delta One: "Yeah, Delta Two. End of next week. He wants to be a cold hearted killer, just like his old man."
Delta Two: Really Dude? You must be so proud."
Delta One: "I am Delta Two. He's a real chip off the old block."
Ye Gods. Cliche.
And then we are introduced to the Senator's daughter & the Senator-who-would-be-President. The daughter is of course intelligent, ballsy, gorgeous (but negligently so), has a great job & is naturally, rich. Whilst her pater is insincere, unfaithful to her Mother (whose dead- pathos), superficial, vain & oh yes… a prick. Cliche.
But let's skip ahead to my personal fave bit. Said tasty Senator's daughter turns up to the front desk at her workplace & is required by the Marine at the desk to undergo a security procedure, even though he recognizes her. What's the test, i hear you ask? Well she has to place a piece of gauze in her mouth which the Marine then extracts with his own fingers. Ew! Hope he washes his hands after every test. And you don't know whats been in her mouth. Er… she might have a cold. Not to mention the device this saliva soaked gauze is placed in for testing. How is that cleaned or does the accumulated slobber just congregate & slosh around like a primordial swamp? Ew.
That's about it. If you're reading this, you may be wondering how i can decide i didn't like this book after only reading 30 pages. In fact i knew after 10 pages it was crap. I read the remaining 20 pages because i'm a Masochist. Also, when one hits a finger with a hammer, it's not necessary to repeat the process to know you don't like it. Hitting my finger with a hammer would have been preferable actually.
The Plot
Yawn… who cares?
I'm consigning my copy of 'Deception Point" to my recycle bin, in the hope it will be turned into something more useful. Perhaps egg crates. This is quite possibly the worst book i never read.
Good reading.