The Goal of Marriage

If Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft's "Philosophy 101" was about engaging in philosophy rather than merely reading it, then "The Goal of Marriage" by New Testament scholars Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III is about "living marriage" and not just reading about it. This book is targeted at married couples. However, single or unmarried couples can also gain from it. After all, shouldn't we all understand what marriage is before embarking on it?

Some people believe that the purpose of marriage is to have children. But the authors firmly reject this idea, reminding us that when marriage is established in Genesis 2:18 - 25, children are not mentioned. This should be sufficient to settle the issue. I believe that the "be fruitful and multiply commandment" is part of the overall mission of humanity to have dominion over the Earth and rule as God's representatives, with men as kings and women as queens, created in God's image. But that is not the goal of marriage. The book explains that the Bible defines marriage in terms of "leaving" (parents), "weaving" (together), and "cleaving" (in sexual intimacy). Marriage also creates a new loyalty, with God still being first and the spouse becoming second. It also focuses on origins and humanity's place in creation, incorporates some Semitic and Ancient Near Eastern background throughout the text, and seemingly treats the book of Genesis as essential history.

God is even polemical regarding marriage. As the author writes, "Genesis 1 was not written to counter modern scientific approaches to the question of human origins but rather to rival other ancient Near Eastern accounts." Yahweh, the God of Jesus, Moses, Isaac, and Jacob, is challenging "Mesopotamian myths" such as the "Enuma Elish" and "Atrahasis" by presenting "different perspectives on human beings and their relationship to the divine realm." For example, the implications of man's relationship to God are vastly different in each account. In the Mesopotamian myths, man is made from the gods in one tradition, which, on the surface, would eliminate the "creator - creature" distinction. In another tradition, man is made from the spit of the gods, while another "refers to the blood of an executed demon god." In short, they are "created to serve the gods in menial tasks and to provide them with food through their sacrifices."

Not so in the Biblical account. "In the biblical account, humans are the apex of creation and in an intimate relationship with their creator."

I was surprised to see some quotes in a Christian book.

"I don't have words to express the intense, deep pleasure of making love with my husband," an unnamed woman is quoted as saying. I found this to be very raw and it adds to the theme of marriage involving "cleaving together in sexual bliss." Another person is quoted as saying that marital sex gets better each year. (Do they teach that in adult Sunday school?)

I was also pleased to read about how married people enjoy "relational richness." It just sounds - rich.

Many people talk about how their ideal partner should "bring out the best in them," or "make them a better person," or "add to them." But this book adds something that completely surprised me, something that I thought was only achieved individually: "This divinely instituted type of marriage is one that will…Have a part in transforming us from sinners to saints."

In terms of structure, it's a study guide intended to be used with a DVD in a group setting or in a group with just the book. But I didn't use the DVD or study with a group, and yet I learned a great deal about marriage. This book does not address politics, although the implications of the book would influence one's politics. (Such as the above-mentioned fact that Genesis does not mention producing offspring as the purpose of marriage; an idea that would silence Christians who believe so and advocate based on that line of reasoning in the public policy arena; but it would also silence gay marriage proponents in the sense that it removes that straw man.)