How Children Raise Parents: The Art of Listening to Your Family by dan b. allender

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

There is so much excellent content in this book that I had the impression that I was underlining the whole thing.

Every page seems to be filled with valuable information, interesting ideas, and thought-provoking concepts. It's as if the author has packed this book with a treasure trove of knowledge.

I find myself constantly drawn to the text, eager to soak up every word. The writing is engaging and accessible, making it a pleasure to read.

Whether it's a new perspective on a familiar topic, a practical tip for improving my life, or a beautiful passage that touches my heart, there is always something in here that catches my attention.

I can't help but think that this book will have a lasting impact on me, and I look forward to referring back to it again and again.

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Vandareer

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

This book is not a mere guide on parenting that offers step-by-step instructions.

Rather, it delves into the profound truth that parenting is an inherently impossible job to accomplish perfectly.

It presents a unique perspective, highlighting the fact that children play a crucial role in our sanctification process.

As we interact with them, face their challenges, and strive to raise them well, we are forced to confront our own flaws, grow in patience, and learn to love unconditionally.

This book is truly an eye-opener, providing valuable insights and a fresh take on the complex and beautiful journey of parenting.

It is an awesome book that every parent should read to gain a deeper understanding of the role their children play in their spiritual and personal growth.

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Kappejoj

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

I vacillated between giving this book two and three stars. In the end, two was the ultimate choice, as I truly wanted to like this book more than I actually did.

The book has a strong premise: children can assist their parents in growing into the individuals God created them to be. However, I believe this primary message often gets lost within the meandering content. I frequently found the text to be disorganized and felt that it could have greatly benefited from some editorial tightening. Towards the end, I even started skimming some of the chapters, as the philosophical musings simply didn't hold my interest.

Although the author directly quotes Scripture throughout the book, he also frequently does so indirectly. My personal preference is for any Bible passages to be directly quoted (after all, one can't improve on the original), and then for the author to provide their paraphrase and/or interpretation, as they are inclined.

As a nonfiction book, I also felt that facts and statistics weren't documented as thoroughly as they should have been. For instance, at one point the author states, "Studies have shown a higher incidence of spousal abuse in cities hosting a professional football game" (p. 208 in my edition). That statement may very well be true, but are readers expected to blindly take the author's word for it? I understand that in this age of Google, it's easy to look up such information. But as a fellow nonfiction author, I feel I owe my readers the courtesy of demonstrating that I have conducted my research, know my sources, and am not simply spouting "facts" as I recall them.

In summary, I did manage to glean some helpful nuggets of wisdom from this book, but it required a great deal of prospecting to find them.

P.S. ***Spoiler alert*** The dragging out of the story of his daughter's arrest over several chapters drove me crazy. As a reader, I felt strung along and hoped against hope that the author didn't use that as some device to keep me reading.

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melzi

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

How Children Raise Parents will be on my annual reading list until I memorize it!

This book is truly a must-read. It offers profound insights and practical wisdom that can transform the way we think about parenting and the relationship between children and parents.

Just as good as the first time I read it, it continues to captivate and inspire me. The author's unique perspective and engaging writing style make it a pleasure to explore the various themes and ideas presented in the book.

Whether you are a new parent, an experienced one, or simply interested in understanding the dynamics of family relationships, How Children Raise Parents is a book that you不应错过. It has the power to open your eyes, touch your heart, and give you the tools and inspiration you need to be the best parent you can be.

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nosdude

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

I haven't delved into a parenting book for a considerable number of years. However, this particular one offers a plethora of refreshing perspectives.

Especially noteworthy are the two questions that Allender highlights as being the ones kids most ardently seek answers to: "Am I loved?" and "Can I get my way?"

Effective parenting directly confronts these inquiries and does so on a consistent basis.

It should vividly demonstrate to our children that, indeed, they are passionately loved, not only by us as parents but also by God.

Conversely, it must also be made clear that getting their way will not occur when it is a patently bad idea.

This kind of parenting approach helps to shape well-rounded and discerning individuals who understand the balance between love and the need to make appropriate choices.

It equips them with the necessary tools to navigate through life's challenges and opportunities, knowing that they are loved unconditionally while also being guided towards making the right decisions.

By addressing these fundamental questions head-on, parents can build a strong foundation for their children's emotional and moral development.

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hk17

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

With so many books out there that claim to be the ultimate guide on being the perfect parent and raising flawless children, this particular book stands out as a unique gem in its approach.

Although the title might initially give a slightly misleading impression, it would be more accurate to describe it as "what raising children reveals to us about ourselves." It's not about children raising parents; rather, it's about entering the parenting phase of your life with the understanding that you will inevitably make mistakes, that you will require forgiveness (both from your spouse and your children), and that you will continuously learn as you progress.

Allender is refreshingly humble and is equally eager to disclose his own shortcomings. This is in stark contrast to numerous other books where the author often seems more interested in patting themselves on the back for their supposed parenting prowess. He delves into great detail to explain the areas where he has fallen short and had to seek reconciliation with his children.

Beyond humility and the act of asking for forgiveness, one of the crucial aspects emphasized is presence. It means being there with your children, sharing their lives, and allowing them to experience failure without intervening too hastily, so they can learn to pick themselves up. However, it also entails keeping a vigilant eye to prevent them from getting overwhelmed in life. Engage with them by asking questions, sharing life's experiences, and most importantly, playing with them. Play with them when they are young and continue to do so as they grow older. Have frequent conversations and never impose restrictions on the topics that can be discussed.

The only aspect that I found a bit peculiar was the term "Child's Bent." It seemed like an unusual way of expressing what most people would refer to as "Lot." There must have been other words in the thesaurus that he could have chosen, and I would be curious to know why he settled on "bent." As I have never heard anyone use that term in this context; instead, more common expressions like "lot in life" or "path" are typically used.

Overall, it is a solid book that I would highly recommend to anyone interested in the journey of parenting and self-discovery.

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WhiteIcePrince

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

This book has the potential to truly shake the very foundation of your parenting approach.

Specifically, if you happen to be like me and have a penchant for following rules and creating lists when it comes to parenting.

The author boldly states that parenting is impossible. And I can't help but say, Amen!

However, he also offers a glimmer of hope. Through building a strong relationship and meaningful engagement with our children, we, as parents, have the opportunity to grow and, more importantly, love our kids in the best possible way.

This idea challenges the traditional notions of parenting that rely solely on strict rules and structured lists.

It forces us to step out of our comfort zones and focus on the quality of our interactions with our children.

By doing so, we can create a more nurturing and loving environment that allows our kids to thrive.

So, if you're ready to have your parenting beliefs challenged and embark on a journey of growth and deeper connection with your children, this book might just be the perfect read for you.

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nyanzure

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

July 14,2025

Allender's book is not your average how-to parenting guide. He contends that rather than striving to raise flawless, Instagram-worthy children (noting that this book was penned before the advent of Instagram), we ought to listen to what their lives are communicating and endeavor to assist them in following their divinely ordained path. All too frequently, we attempt to fashion children in our own likeness, when in fact we should be guiding them towards God's image within their lives. In this book, there are truly no tips and techniques per se. Instead, it presents more of a philosophical perspective on parenting and a much-needed reimagining of what parenting could potentially entail. It challenges the traditional notions of parenting and encourages parents to look beyond the surface and into the deeper spiritual and emotional aspects of their children's lives.

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How Children Raise Parents: The Art of Listening to Your Family

dan b. allender

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