Your Eight Year Old: Lively and Outgoing

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The eight-year-old child is an exuberant,  outgoing bundle of energy; he meets every challenge  head-on, willing to try almost anything. Sometimes  parents are amazed at the enthusiasm and excitement  with which their child greets the  world.



However, eight is also a time when the child  begins to do a great deal of analyzing and  evaluating, finding fault in himself and  others--especially Mohter. How do parents help an eight-year-old  through this up-and-down age? What should parents  expect in their relationships with the child and  how can life in the family be made easier? What  will the child's relationship with friends and  siblings be like? In the successful tradition of the  Gesell institute series, Your  Eight-Year-Old is a well-researched, highly  accessible guide.

160 pages, Paperback

First published March 1,1989

About the author

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Louise Bates Ames was an American psychologist specializing in child development.[1] Ames was known as a pioneer of child development studies, introducing the theory of child development stages to popular discourse. Ames authored numerous internationally renowned books on the stages of child development, hosted a television show on child development, and co-founded the Gesell Institute of Child Development in New Haven, CT.

Ames's work found that children go through clear, discrete developmental phases based on age. She demonstrated that various age groups feature unique behavioral patterns, to be considered by parents and doctors in monitoring children's development. Perhaps the best-known legacy of her work was the coining of the term "Terrible Twos," to describe the rigid, conflict-laden behavioral patterns of two-year-olds.

Community Reviews

Rating(3.9 / 5.0, 48 votes)
5 stars
15(31%)
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48 reviews All reviews
July 14,2025
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Several years ago, I embarked on a reading journey, choosing to read these books based on each of my children's current ages. With my daughter's birthday last month, it was the opportune moment to pick up "Your Eight-Year-Old: Lively and Outgoing" by Louise Bates Ames and Carol Chase Haber.


Interestingly, despite being one of the more recently published works (in 1989 compared to many from the 70s), this book felt the most outdated. The extensive discussions about the differences between boys and girls and learning disabilities made for an uncomfortable read in the present day. There was even a letter from a mother detailing how her husband was insisting that their daughter use her right hand for writing, going so far as to make her repeat homework already completed with her left hand.


There are also certain aspects where it seems we have regressed. The book mentions an 8-year-old's ability to take a bus or navigate the city independently, which is surely a very different reality now.


I was entertained at one point when Cabbage Patch dolls were mentioned and how they had become even more popular than Barbie and Ken. Or when the favorite TV shows listed included Thundercats, Muppet Babies, and Wuzzles. At the back of the book, there is a list of recommended books for 8-year-olds, many of which are still popular today, while others have piqued my interest.


If you've been reading these books like I have, there's no harm in reading this one too. However, if you're simply curious about what these books are like or trying to gain a better understanding of child development, I probably wouldn't recommend starting with the eighth year.


3.5/5

July 14,2025
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Sexist AF.

You will find yourself rolling your eyes countless times as you read this. Ugh.

I managed to finish it only because I was seeking some mediocre information about my 8-year-old. However, I'm not entirely convinced that it was truly worth the effort.

The content seems to be filled with outdated and discriminatory views that are both frustrating and disappointing.

It makes one wonder why such sexist ideas still persist in our society.

Perhaps it's a reflection of the deep-rooted biases that are yet to be fully eradicated.

Nonetheless, it serves as a reminder that we still have a long way to go in achieving true gender equality.

Hopefully, with continued education and awareness, we can move towards a more inclusive and equitable future.
July 14,2025
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The test was fine for confirming that my kid is “normal.” However, it is quite outdated.

In today's rapidly evolving world, the criteria and standards for determining what is considered “normal” are constantly changing. What may have been considered acceptable or average in the past may no longer hold true.

This outdated test may not be able to accurately assess the full range of my child's abilities, potential, and unique qualities. It fails to take into account the diverse and complex nature of modern childhood and the various factors that can influence a child's development.

As a parent, I am concerned that relying on such an outdated test may limit my understanding of my child and prevent me from providing the most appropriate support and opportunities for their growth and success.

It is essential to use more contemporary and comprehensive assessment tools that can better capture the true essence of my child and help me make informed decisions about their future.
July 14,2025
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Some good insights indeed.

Even though I could have informed you *before* I read this that my eight-year-old is needy, dramatic, and struggling to be independent, along with all those other characteristics. However, it truly does assist to have the feeling that those things are normal.

After reading it, I did find myself possessing a bit more patience. It aided me in realizing that our relationship is experiencing vast changes. And I need to be listening to her as we progress, otherwise, in a very short while, I am going to be ill-attuned to her needs.

This understanding has given me a new perspective on how to interact with my child and has made me more aware of the importance of being present and attentive during these formative years.

It is essential to remember that every child goes through different stages of development, and by being more patient and understanding, we can help them navigate these changes more smoothly.

Overall, this has been a valuable learning experience for me, and I will continue to apply these insights in my daily interactions with my eight-year-old.
July 14,2025
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Outdated

However, if one takes the concepts in a broad sense, it can still be informative and even reassuring to some extent.

Nevertheless, it is not a recommended read for gender-expansive families.

This is the main reason why it only receives two stars.

Perhaps the content fails to fully address the unique experiences and needs of such families.

It may lack the necessary inclusivity and understanding.

As a result, those in gender-expansive families may not find it as relevant or useful as they would hope.

Despite its age, if the book could be updated to better reflect the diversity of modern families, it might have more value.

But in its current state, it falls short in meeting the expectations of this particular audience.
July 14,2025
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I didn't finish this book, so take the review with a grain of salt.

However, it seemed to me to be largely composed of generalizations that likely don't hold true for a significant portion of kids.

For example, stating that kids at a specific age will be outgoing.

I suppose that even shy kids might exhibit a bit more outgoing behavior at certain ages compared to others, but I'm not entirely convinced.

Also, there's some quasi-scientific content regarding how different body types - endomorph, ectomorph, and mesomorph - will behave.

This part seems a bit dated and perhaps even sexist.

Overall, while the book may have some interesting points, it also has several flaws that make it less than reliable in my opinion.
July 14,2025
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This series of books was not only cute but also highly informative.

I came across them at a time when I was facing difficulties in relating to the twins.

Their behavior and development seemed somewhat of a mystery to me.

However, these books provided valuable insights and explanations that really helped me understand their growth process better.

The illustrations in the books were charming and engaging, making it even more enjoyable to read.

Each page offered interesting facts and practical tips on how to interact with the twins and support their development.

It was like having a knowledgeable guide by my side, leading me through the wonderful world of the twins.

Thanks to this series of books, I now feel more confident and connected to the twins, and I look forward to seeing them continue to grow and thrive.

Overall, I would highly recommend this series of books to anyone who is looking to gain a better understanding of twins or children's development in general.

July 14,2025
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The family structure presented in this book is not only outdated but also seems rather archaic, especially considering that it was first published in the 1980s.

It fails to keep up with the changing times and the evolving nature of families. However, on a positive note, the book does provide some valuable insights into the mind and attitude of an eight-year-old.

By delving into the thoughts and feelings of this young character, readers can gain a better understanding of the unique perspective that children of that age often have.

Despite the limitations of the family structure portrayal, the exploration of the child's mindset adds an interesting dimension to the story.

It makes one wonder how the story might have been different if the family structure had been more in line with the social norms and realities of the time.

Perhaps a more modern and diverse family structure could have enhanced the overall narrative and made it more relatable to a wider audience.

Nonetheless, the book still manages to offer some thought-provoking moments and a glimpse into the inner world of a child.
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