I feel like my various forays into toxic and abusive behaviour has reached its limit, but its strange to me that I can pick up a book from the eighties and still find everything as relevant as the information I’m reading today. This book is very similar to the seminal Why Does he Do That? (which is free online btw and a must read) in documenting the nature of abusive relationships. I was a little cautious about the second section which seemed like it might be about how to ‘fix’ an abusive relationship, however its simply down to Earth advice with a caution that most abusive people don’t change their ways – and especially if physical violence is involved the book cautions safety.
Overall this book is very straightforward, accurate and effective and literally the only thing that maybe shows its age is no resources on cyber-stalking or phone use and abuse.

Well written, it takes you step by step, I could feel the Author wisdom beyond this book subject.

A bit oversimplified. Still, provided plenty to chew on and an easy read.

Dr. Susan Forward este un terapeut de renume. Cu timpul însă, a devenit cunoscută şi ca autoare, reputaţie la construirea căreia au contribuit şi conferinţele susţinute de ea, dar şi prezenţa constantă la diverse talk-show-uri. De menţionat că este, de peste şase ani, prezentatoarea unei emisiuni difuzate pe postul de radio ABC Talk.

Oare aşa trebuie să arate dragostea? Simţi că bărbatul pe care-l iubeşti are tendinţa de a-ţi controla viaţa şi comportamentul? Te-ai îndepărtat de anumiţi oameni şi ai renunţat la activităţi importante pentru tine, doar pentru că aşa a vrut el? Este partenerul tău din cale-afară de gelos şi de posesiv? I se întâmplă des să treacă de la tandreţe la furie? Când vrea să te pedepsească dintr-un motiv oarecare, ameninţă că o să te părăsească sau că n-o să-ţi mai dea niciun ban? Te învinovăţeşte pentru lucrurile care merg rău în relaţia voastră? Eşti circumspectă şi îi ceri constant scuze pentru orice fleac?
https://funions.ro/recenzii/barbatii-...

Gave this book to two friends who went through what I had with my ex husband. It helped both them and myself come to terms with a bad relationship. This book changed my life for the better.

The title sounds like a dating book, but this is an often harrowing exploration of abusive relationships, with a focus on aiding the (in this case female) victims of domestic abuse and violence. Fascinating material, frequently horrifying.

I like it

Misogyny, a term we fear to use because it sounds harsh, accusatory and scary. The reactions to such a word can set people off into defensiveness, which is of course understandable. But in this reaction that became the norm, we have created taboo around this concept that is very much real around us.
This book is such an important read. You don’t need to be in a misogynistic relationship to read this book, you simply must read it because you may never be able to spot one around you if you never understood it.

This book identifies several abusive behaviors and patterns that emerge in a relationship where there is an imbalance of power. The author provides a 1Cname 1D and a definition for various types of emotional abuse. A very good resource for women 19s advocates.

believe or not when i say i read this book because i liked somebody who i knew for 3 years and made me cry my eyes out when he left me, a broken heart can happen to any one, of any age, of any life style, Dr. Susan tell us how in a relation ship that start like sweet corn candy can end up like ugly poise apple, and u can be the worse victim on it. you feel helpless, depress, and you can real relate your self to any thing because life is empty and nothing feels right, u try to look up but down is the only path u see, the cloud are blue but dark oceans is more like to u, and how u just feel like the only person that really better to u had gone, and now u just have to learn how to live life with out them, even if u see them every day with someone else that u probably know too, makes no sense to want to fight for them because like they say " don't make someone your priority, if u are just a option to them". Dr. Susan help to live a normal life after a storm and i truly recommended this book for the broken heart.

Books like these make me wish I was better at taking notes/highlighting! This book is a little dated and therefore I think folks in this field know a little more now than was known at the time of its writing (published originally in 1986). For instance, we know now that it is sometimes incredibly dangerous to go to therapy with an abusive spouse/partner and this book recommends that approach. I appreciated the author's perspective as both a therapist and a survivor of domestic violence. I still think Lundy Bancroft's book on the same subject is better and an easier read, but there were good messages here to be teased out. The things that stuck out to me are as follows:

1. Abuse in heterosexual relationships is often rooted in misogyny.
2. Any woman can be attracted to a misogynist; that's not the issue (although society loooooves to point the finger at "what's wrong" with women who find themselves in these relationships). What is cause for concern is when abuse continues for long periods of time and a woman feels unable to make informed, free decisions about her relationship.
3. Kind of as an aside to number 2, stigma for a person in or leaving an abusive relationship can be incredibly retraumatizing. The author offers some scripts for talking to friends/family. The quote that stood out to me was "I need your support and understanding, not your advice".
4. I appreciated the author's point that staying for the kids will not help them. It's important for kids to see Mom happy.
5. This book includes a good reminder that abusive men are the most insecure people on the planet. Imagine being so scared of connection that you sabotage it in this way.
6. Another good reminder from the book: abusive people rarely change.

Me sorprende mucho lo normalizado del tema, al punto que al leerlo pensé en media docena de hombres como los descritos en el libro. Un must.