All you say and think about events and other people are what you think about yourself. Don’t seek outside yourself for happiness. Loving What Is was profound in showing how simply to get out of the stories in your head that you attach to and suffer from.

At best, this is a gross oversimplification of real problems people face with solutions founded in anecdotal evidence and contradictory principles.

If you cherry pick quotes out of this book you'll end up with a collection of seemingly valuable maxims, which I assume are the reasons for this book's success. That being said, the book doesn't cohere well logically.

One of the techniques she teaches is "the turnaround". This is where you turn a problem around and see if the problem is actually your fault or just in your head. Prepare for 300+ pages of this, much of which is completely forced. On page 137, she uses litter in the desert as an example of how things are. She says there's no point in judging people who litter, because the litter is already there, therefore it is part of the desert. While I can see how not getting upset might be helpful, the rest of the story is completely unhelpful and makes no sense. If we should accept things the way that they are, then why bother picking up the litter? She later covers her bases by telling the reader not to get caught up on the turnarounds. But then what was the past 300 pages all about? What's the point of this book then?

The author pretty much tells people to get over things. Everything is in your head. Some of that advice could be valuable, but her delivery makes no sense whatsoever and is full of victim shaming. She claims things like "there's no such thing as verbal abuse" and asks questions like "can you absolutely be sure that your dad doesn't love you?" after a victim describes a physically abusive father. She blames a victim of sexual abuse by a stepfather for "assuming" that the victim's mom knew what was going on. When the victim turns around and says other people had described the abuse, the author just claims that nothing is for certain. With that mentality, there really is no point in living. We should all be on controlled states of heroin use so we could just live our lives loving what is. Byron Katie's recommendation for the world would mean no goals, no reasons, just what is.

I've never struggled reading a book this much in my life. "Can I absolutely be sure that this book victim shames?" YES. YES I CAN. "Now turn it around. Maybe I'm the one victim shaming". NO. YOU ARE LADY.

Author's Favorite Word: Turnaround

Just another book that has left me with a single thought: there's only one good idea, but the delivery spoils even this tiny bit of rationality.
So, here is the idea I liked in the book: the world is what it is and doesn't have to fulfil our expectations. Which means (for me, of course) that most of negative moments are based on our unrealistic expectations. We need to accept the fact that everything happens without our approval while our thoughts about how bad certain things are hurt us more than reality.
But the way the writer delivers the idea... OMG, it gives completely different image. It seemed to me that the woman wants us to do nothing about all the crap that makes this place such a mess. Like "accept the fact and stop worrying". But the nature of humans is that if we don't worry, we don't act. It's freaking evolution!
I got very disturbing feelings when I was reading the stories about rape, war, and terrorist attack. These people needed serious psychological help and not this... "work". It may help them feel better for some time, but human's psychic is much more complicated.
Plus she denies negative emotions for being harmful. But we have these emotions because we need them, they help us to survive and to evolve! They are the part of the balance!
To sum up, I can say that though the general idea is worth working with, the biggest part of the book is just... well... useless.

I give this book five stars because I think that it is a profound idea that Byron Katie is introducing- especially for those who are tormented with the weight of worry about those people and circumstances around them that they feel as though they have some power to control. It was a breakthrough for me, to have permission to let go of some worries that I felt duty-bound to carry with me throughout life. Often, these questions pop up in my daily trains of thought, and cause me to re examine what I held as truth. It does have it's limits, in my mind, though Katie would disagree. In some circumstances, it does not work. But in freeing the mind, and giving inner peace, it was a must read for me. I highly recommend it.

There are things I like and things I don't like about this book.

I laughed out loud a few times while reading the dialogues. The truths that come out and the way Katie puts things are sometimes very funny. Occasionally, I also felt a little sorry for the person she helps do "the work" as I imagined what it would be like to have these discussions publicly. I admire the people's courage to be vulnerable. I haven't seen Katie in action, but I'm very curious and plan to look her up online.

I particularly admire how Katie changed her personal life, is an example to her family, and how she seems sincere in her desire to help others.

I've been listening to podcasts by Brooke Castillo. Her tenth podcast is all about Byron Katie who she considers one of her most important teachers. She quotes from this book. Because of Castillo, I checked this out for my Kindle from my library. Katie's "Work" is not the same as Castillo's "Model," but I can see the similarities.

Katie's "Work" seems focused on finding out what's true and how we think about things. Our thoughts definitely affect our feelings, actions, and results. Castillo's method feels easier and more applicable. Even so, I can see Katie's way may be helpful if there's some confusion about whether our thoughts are true or not. For me, recognizing truth and lies feels automatic, but I haven't yet tried Katie's "Work."

I entirely agree with the importance of personal inquiry. It's good not to believe everything we think. It's helpful to ask ourselves if a thought or belief is true or worthwhile. Also, I like the idea of taking responsibility for our own happiness and reactions to others. I see huge potential for forgiving others and choosing to love.

The first thing Katie suggests is to fill out what she calls the "Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet." What this does is puts the suffering to the forefront of the mind and gives a jumping off point for her "Four Questions." As you thoroughly and honestly fill out the worksheet, thinking and feelings become clear. Then she suggests going through each part and asking the questions. During that process, sometimes new questions arise. Thoughts and feelings come into focus. False thoughts surface as do new possible ways of thinking about people and situations.

The bulk of the book explains the questions in detail mostly through dialogues which give clear examples. It becomes repetitive, but repetition can be a helpful way of learning and remembering.

I am a little troubled by the idea that because something is a certain way it "should" be that way. I believe it's okay to have expectations and hopes for things to be different than they are. I understand that can cause inner conflict, but it doesn't have to as long as a person is also willing to accept reality. I'm okay with conflict. Katie seems to advocate accepting and even loving reality above hopes.

Also, I believe sometimes there are truths that require faith. Katie seems to reject anything that can't be proven. There isn't always hard, fast proof for every truth. It's only when we don't fully understand these types of truths that they can cause suffering. Disregarding or disbelieving all truths that can't be proven does not ultimately serve. I want to continue pondering these ideas.

(Update: I realized there is room for faith and hope in her inquiry method. Though it's not one of her four questions, she does often ask, "Is there a stress-free reason to hang on to that belief?" In all her dialogue examples there aren't any, but hope and faith would be reasons.)

I was also bothered by what she says about victims of abuse. Terrible. Also, her way of thinking doesn't seem to promote goals and progress. It's all very accepting the here and now. I agree more with Castillo's philosophy that beginning at a place of acceptance and love we can then choose to improve and reach.

I'm going to write down the worksheet info and four questions below. Katie explains each in detail as far as how to approach the questions and turnarounds. This is the core of her method and philosophy:

Judging Worksheet

"1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?
2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?
3. In this situation, what advice would you offer them?
4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?
5. What do you think of them in this situation? Make a list.
6. What is it about this situation you don't ever want to experience again?"

Four Questions

"1. Is it true? (If no, move to question 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
and
Turn the thought around. Find at least three specific, genuine examples."

The turn around is all word play where you make the criticism you give of the other person a criticism you give yourself. Or you say that you love and accept the reality instead of resist or avoid it.

There is some helpful truth here. This book would make for an interesting book-club discussion.

هل من الممكن ان طريقة تفكيرنا في المشكلة هي المعاناة اكثر من المشكلة؟
‏نمط التفكير ووقع الكلمات والصوت الداخلي الذي نحادث فيها انفسنا هو الذي يخلق المعاناة او الرضى او السعادة، تقبل الافكار بالتفهم جزء من الحل..

Segundo libro de mi diplomado, un libro excepcional para trabajarse

This book was really eye-opening to me and helped me to realize just how much happiness is in our control. I loved the ideas and concepts taught here and the way that Byron Katie turned her life around and lived more peacefully. Now to apply the things I learned is the tricky part!!

This book is a life changer. Throughout my life I have worked very hard to be a healthy thinker, to use therapy tools to create positive thinking, to avoid victim mentality, to create healthy relationships, etc. This book has taken me beyond what I believed was possible. Every person on this earth could benefit from implementing these tools. And it helps so rapidly and is so simple. I had the pleasure of both listening to the book and reading it separately for the full effect. I am a different person than before I started reading a month ago..and I didn’t even fill out any worksheets yet, I just read and listened.

I learned some things from this book. I will mention just one, love what is.

Can definitely see how this book can help people, but I think it was a little scatter-brained in a few parts. Probably could use some more tweaking and some rewriting. Liked how the author points out that most of our suffering is caused by our perception of things and not the "thing" itself. I have always believed that perception is reality and we make of it what we will.

**Just downloaded the revised edition. Hopefully, it’s edited better!

This one really struck a chord with me.

As with all books describing 'a thing', when reviewing you're never really sure if you're reviewing the book itself or 'The Thing' (in this case 'The Work').

Be that as it may, this one will stay with me for a long time!