4/5 stars. Love the info this series provides. I will definitely reference the various appendices in this book, when it comes to help treating sickness. I have read these all since What to Expect When You're Expecting. It is a solid series.

Great as an ongoing reference, just as "What to Expect when you're Expecting" and "What to Expect the First Year" helped me not freak out too much or spend too much time in doctors' offices.

Great resource book. I especially like the index. If my child has some kind of problem, I can look up information by the subject in the back. I have found it a very useful tool with valuable information as I have been raising my children.

I'm finding the older she gets, the less likely she is to follow the development described by these expert-type books...Still, it's interesting to look and see what others think she should be doing or not doing just yet.

I know it's lame that the first book I added was this one, but this really is a great book. It offers up a lot of suggestions and helpful hints for just about any situation. Let's just put it this way, I think Ron and I would have lost our minds this past year if we hadnt had this book.

I use this more as a reference book than read cover to cover, to answer questions as they come up.

I liked What to Expect the First Year, even if I didn't agree with all of the advice. This book is woefully out of date and didactic. I could not finish reading this, stopping at about 15 months. I either disagreed with the advice, knew the advice to be incorrect, or thought the authors were patronizing me. Perhaps if they update the book, it might be a better read. Until then, find another source of information for the toddler years.

A very informative parent’s guide to months 12-36, based on research and expert advice. Part 1 is divided into months; Part 2 covers toddler care, health, and safety in general. It contains just enough humor for this type of book.

I read it cover to cover, but at over 1100 pages, it’s better used as a reference than as a book to read straight through.

I agreed with most of advice, which is backed by research and seems sensible. One area I disagreed is with the authors’ recommendation to be open when your toddler asks where babies come from, and use adult anatomical terms. I can’t picture myself giving a toddler that much detail.

Walking
t• Children usually first walk at 13-15 months.
t• Don’t use a walker. Babies who use walkers have more accidents and take longer to learn to walk.

Clothes
t• Kids go through 4-5 pairs of shoes during ages 1-2.
t• Don’t pass shoes to younger kids; they’ve been molded to first wearer’s feet.

Behavior
t• To stop unwanted behavior, use low-key distraction techniques, such as humor, rather than scolding. Toddlers repeat actions that get a major reaction.
t• Talk to your toddler about others’ feelings. For example, when your child takes another’s toy, instead of saying, “Give it back,” say, “When you take Jessica’s doll away, it makes her sad. Remember how sad you were when Emily took your teddy?” Or, when your child hits another, say, “That hurts Ben,” rather than, “No hitting.”
t• Explain your commands and requests.
t• For each, “no,” offer a “yes” as an alternative. When you tell your child she can’t have/do something, offer an alternative.
t• Anticipating misdeeds and saying, “no” only fuels them. Save “no” for when a child actually does something forbidden.

t• Give positive rather than negative commands. “Stay on the sidewalk,” rather than, “Don’t step in the mud.” When shopping, tell the toddler what they can do (ride in the cart, find foods) not what they can’t (walk around, touch anything).
t• Tell child her behavior is bad, not that she’s bad. Telling a child, “You’re bad” can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
t• Correction is more effective face-to-face than shouted across the room.
t• Display confidence. Saying, “I don’t know what to do with you” when frustrated may frighten a child by making it seem like you don’t have control.
t• Give simple, specific, short directions.

t• “Catch” your child being good. Praise them for good behavior.
t• Give attention so they don’t feel the need to misbehave to get it.
t• If using time outs, use durations of 30-60 seconds up to 5-10 minutes, depending on toddler.
t• Don’t nag toddlers to say courtesies on the spot; instead, remind in private.
t• If you are sometimes willing to wait for your child, she is more likely to wait for you when you ask.

t• To discourage biting, don’t playfully bite your child or allow them to playfully bite you.
t• Breath holding is most common in ages 2-4, and isn’t harmful, even if the child temporarily loses consciousness.
t• Type A personality can surface in early childhood. 1 in 4 show the traits: high-strung, intense, impatient, quick to anger, very competitive. Teach them how to relax (and set a relaxed example yourself), deal with the world in non-aggressive ways, delay gratification. Avoid pressuring to achieve, emphasize recreation and family over work-only.
t• Don’t assign blame. Rather than saying, “I told you so,” help child see consequences and think about improving decisions. Ask your child, “why did that happen?” and “how can you keep that from happening again?”
t• When telling that something is right or wrong, also tell why it is right or wrong.

t• Don’t offer TV as a bribe/reward, or take it away as punishment. Doing so makes it more attractive.
t• Don’t only prohibit touching delicate objects; teach how to touch.
t• Instead of scolding, “It’s not nice to not let Thomas play with your car,” empathize, saying, “I know it’s hard to share your car. It’s very special to you.”
t• Don’t share for your toddler; ask permission before offering toys to a playmate.
t• Practice sharing all kinds of items with your toddler.

t• Praise behavior or effort, not child. Be specific. Teach self-appreciation.
t• To make unpleasant visits (doctor, dentist, haircut) easier, tell child that you’ll go somewhere fun afterward. If they delay, you can remind them to hurry so you can get to the fun place.
t�� When child says something embarrassing about someone in public, don’t scold; they don’t know better. Quickly and quietly explain that pointing out differences can hurt feelings, so if they need to do so, to wait until later or use their quiet voice. Later, discuss differences.
t• Reduce likelihood of tantrums by offering choices (“this book or that one?”) rather than open-ended questions.
t• Handling a tantrum: Stay calm; don’t try to reason; try hugging; try distraction; ignore.

t• To discourage nose-picking, give toddler something else to do with hands. Explain that picking hurts the nose.
t• Find something to compliment in each of your child’s creative works, but don’t overdo praise so your child doubts your sincerity or stops trying to improve.
t• Offer guidance, but don’t force child to follow.
t• Negotiate, but don’t bribe or threaten. In place of bribes and threats, reward with praise, and occasionally tangible rewards (especially effective when they’re surprises).

t• Don’t make it easy for toddler to lie. Instead of asking, “Did you…?” say, “I know you…”
t• Don’t tell your toddler “white lies”; instead, simply avoid telling the whole truth if you must. Explain difference between lying and pretending (e.g., Santa Claus).
t• Show that you trust your child. Instead of saying, “Don’t hit this time,” say, “I know you’ll play nice this time.”

To deal with loud, screeching toddler
t• Encourage child to sing instead, or make less annoying sounds.
t• Look child in the eye and whisper, making her curious enough to be quiet.
t• Challenge child to a whisper match, having her whisper back what you say.
t• Teach “outside voice” and “inside voice.”

Discipline
t• Although they generally recommend against spanking, some experts believe a smack on the hand or bottom may be warranted in dangerous situations.
t• When punishment is delayed, it can be less effective in correcting behavior.
t• Time out should be away from fun toys and activities, and not in child’s bedroom.

Negatives of spanking
t• Child may obey out of fear
t• Children rarely learn self-discipline
t• Sets a violent example
t• Humiliating

Steps of discipline
1. Give fair warning
2. Explain the sentence
3. Carry out the sentence immediately
4. Review event
5. Forgive

Food, Eating, & Nutrition
t• By age 1, there are “no nutritional benefits to nursing,” and it can lead to tooth decay.
t• Make nutritious food tempting; provide foods and treats that are nutritious and delicious.
t• Reduce dietary fat and cholesterol by age 2. Stop giving whole milk and full-fat cheese and yogurt.
t• Ask pediatrician for advice about starting chewable vitamins.
t• Studies show that forcing a child to eat what you prepare can lead to eating disorders, abnormal eating habits, and/or weight struggles. Instead, offer new foods in addition to child’s favorites.

t• Give 3 cups milk per day (as drink or in food).
t• Limit whole eggs or egg yolks to 3/week; no limit on egg whites.
t• Limit snacks to one between each set of meals.
t• Encourage toddler to try what the family is eating, but let them be picky about selecting other foods too. They shouldn’t need to eat what’s put in front of them until preschool age.
t• Don’t serve soft cheeses (feta, brie, Camembert, blue) because they may harbor bacteria. Stick to hard cheeses (Swiss, Cheddar, Muenster), cottage cheese, yogurt.

t• Grate foods that are too hard for your toddler to chew, such as carrots, apples, cheese, red cabbage.
t• Buy organic when you can afford to. The Dirty Dozen are the most important.
t• Buy in-season, local, US-based whenever possible.
t• Avoid or peel waxed foods.
t• Peel nonorganic potatoes.
t• Discard outer leaves of lettuces and cabbages.

Toddler Diet Daily Dozen
t• Protein: 4 toddler servings (25 g total)
t• Calcium: 4 toddler servings
t• Vitamin C: 2+ servings
t• Green leafy and yellow vegetables and yellow fruit: 2+ servings
t• Other fruit and vegetables: 1-2 servings
t• Whole grain and other concentrated complex carbs: 6+ servings
t• Iron-rich: some daily
t• High-fat: 5-8 servings (7 g) in year 2; 5.8-8.5 servings in year 3
t• Salt: don’t add (foods contain enough)
t• Fluids: 4-6 cups/day
t• Supplements: daily vitamin if doctor recommends, or if diet doesn’t include enough vitamins

Sleep
t• When comforting your child in the middle of the night, stop when they’re drowsy but awake, so they learn to fall asleep.
t• Aim for 65° F sleeping temperature year round. In summer, set AC temp higher and use fan.
t• Change child from pajamas to daywear soon after waking so they associate pajamas with sleep.
t• By 18 months, many toddlers only need one 1.5-2 hr nap, in early afternoon, and sleep 11-12 hrs at night.
t• Postponing breakfast may help train a child to sleep later.

Teeth & Teething
t• Teach toddler to rinse after brushing. It removes toothpaste before it's swallowed, and eliminates loosened food.
t• To convince toddler to brush: remind of doctor’s/dentist’s advice; give child-size brush; let him try first.
t• If no sign of cavities or other problems, no need to rush to first dentist appointment. Pediatrician can perform basic dental exams. Have first dentist visit at 1 year, say American Academy of Pediatrics and American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry.
t• Lightly brush or wipe gums and teeth after eating.
t• Ask dentist when to start flossing. It's usually once any two teeth are close (not necessarily touching). Floss your toddler’s teeth, starting with molars.

t• Relieve teething pain: rub gums with clean finger, let chew chilled teething ring. Give chilled applesauce or frozen banana, or cup of icy cold water (without ice). Give ibuprofen or acetaminophen when pain is at its worst, probably at bedtime. Ask doctor for other remedies.
• Provide comfort to a toddler who wakes with teething pain, but minimize midnight comfort runs; the toddler may become accustomed to them and disrupt sleeping patterns.

Strangers
t• Help a stranger-suspicious child by asking strangers to approach them slowly.
t• Don’t tell child that “strangers might be mean” or “strangers might steal you,” but instead tell them to ask you for permission before talking to one.

Toys & Playing
t• Limit playthings that stifle imagination, such as coloring books and dolls that talk, and those that require no interaction, such as battery-operated toys that are just for watching.
t• Before age 3, don’t expect toddlers to pick up after themselves. By age 3 you can get them to start putting toys away after playing with them.

Health
t• Most experts suggest that less than 18 months between pregnancies is harmful to the mother’s body and isn't enough time for the older child to be the focus. Others suggest a 2.5 to 3 year gap is better for the child.
t• Alleviate motion sickness: Sea-Bands, full stomach, no acidic fruit/juice, fresh air, watching horizon, nap.
t• Young skin is prone to dryness because sebaceous glands don’t kick in until just before puberty.
t• Use SPF 30 or higher for children with fair or sensitive skin.
t• Sunblocks such as zinc oxide or titanium oxide offer strongest protection.

t• Apply sunscreen lip balm as frequently as sunscreen.
t• To reduce taste of medicine, put it towards the back of the mouth, or dull taste buds with a popsicle.
t• Cough medicine isn't safe under age 2.
t• Avoid insect repellents with DEET concentrations over 10% for children under two.
t• For limited thermal burns, immerse in or apply cool water. Don't use ice, butter, burn ointment, baking soda preparations.

t• If a sharp object is stuck in the eye or flesh, don’t try to remove. Go to the ER or call 911.
t• Hire babysitter certified by Red Cross for Safe Sitter. Safe Sitter trains teams in babysitting fundamentals.
t• Clean humidifier daily and sanitize weekly to prevent spreading germs, fungi, and mold.

Toilet Training
When to start training
• When toddler can stay dry for 1-2 hours at a stretch during the day, and occasionally wakes up dry from naps. Usually after 20 months.
• Child’s bowel movements come at fairly predictable times.
• Child has increased awareness of bodily functions. Toddler lets you know in some way (grunting, making a face, going to a corner, telling you, etc.).
• Child interested in neatness and in being clean and dry.
• Child is curious about others’ bathroom habits.

Training
• Do some “dry runs.” Before using the potty, help child get to know it. Make it available for them to carry, sit on while reading, etc.
• Change diapers in the bathroom to make association between bodily functions and bathroom. Show toddler that you empty solids into toilet and flush.
• Switch from diapers to training pants. Suggest, don’t insist, that toddler wears them. Start with disposable and gradually move to traditional training pants full time.
• Turn on the faucet to encourage child to go.
• Teach child how to wipe by demonstrating on a doll. Put oatmeal or jelly on doll’s bottom and let child practice.
• It doesn’t matter where your child uses the potty, just that they use it.
• Most children don’t stay dry at night once they learn to stay dry during day. Don’t do nighttime training yet.

Switching from potty to toilet
• Wait until child shows interest in switching.
• Have child accompany you into bathroom, and ask if they want to use the “grown-up” potty.
• A child’s seat that fits on toilet may be more appealing.

Misc.
t• Move from high chair to booster seat or regular chair near 1.5 yrs. You’ll know when child complains about high chair or expresses desire to sit at table. Some prefer to sit on their knees on a regular chair.
t• Thumb sucking usually begins to subside by age 3.
t• Research suggests that one-child families are as happy and fulfilled as multi-child families.
t• It’s best to avoid TV until age 2. After that, limit to 0.5 hr/day.
t• Most children can’t identify colors until 3 or 4.

t• Most doctors recommend holding off on ear piercing until age 4, or preferably closer to 8 (when she can take care of pierced ears herself).
t• Don’t tell child that you can’t afford something. Instead, say, “That costs a lot of money. I’m sure you want it, but we need to use our money for food and clothes, and can’t spend it all on toys.”
t• Wait until age 4 to teach swimming, according to American Academy of Pediatricians.
t• If toddler asks where babies come from, don’t tell stories about storks, etc. Offer to read together a book about it (written for toddlers and young preschoolers). Answer only the questions he asks.
t• Dealing with fear of the dark: night light; “search” for and “banish” “monsters”; appoint a toy sentry; act brave about the dark and explain that the room is the same as in the light.

t• Toddlers have difficulty remembering.
t• Peanut butter can help remove gum from hair.
t• If you have more than one young child, it's best to put them to bed at the same time. If an older child needs to, let them read quietly in bed.
t• When a toddler with a new sibling acts like a baby, allow it to an extent, but also remind toddler the benefits of his age.
t• Preschool gives kids a slight edge in kindergarten, but it eventually disappears.

Take the advice as one perspective in raising a toddler; some of it is a bit restrictive for everyday life (e.g. The Best Odds Diet). But balanced with other viewpoints, is a decent reference of general inquiries.

Finally finished it!

A quick resource...but definitely less used than the first two in the series despite the span of years this one covers.

Ugh - more preaching... I don't even think I finished this one...