The main idea in this one is that we can't teach what we can't do ourselves, and therefore we must actively work to discipline ourselves so we may teach the same skills to our children. In the back is an 8-week suggested program to work on her concepts. It's empowering and encouraging, and seems like a great "how to" to accompany more philosophical gentle discipline books.

Not just a parenting book but a parenting manual. The comparison between "old" parenting methods and the new "love and logic" concept is eye opening. After reading the library copy I decided to buy it and have it as a reference. One of the best parenting books I've read so far!

This book is so insightful and more importantly makes what she is teaching very easy to put into practice (that's always the hardest part for me).

Among other things, this book lays out cleanly how so many of us became Pleasers as children and continue to struggle with that tendency as adults. It also tallies the cost. It's a radical but do-able departure from discipline and education as we currently see them practiced in the public schools.

This is seriously the best parenting book I’ve ever read. It has taken me almost a year to work through this relatively slim book, but I found I needed to take time with each chapter to fully absorb it. (I took notes and made flash cards for myself — I’m a nerd, I know). It also has taken me that amount of time to actually put into practice these parenting techniques.

I should also say that this is probably one of the best mental health/counseling books I’ve ever read too. Another reason I chose to read it slowly is because one of the very first quotes of the book is “You cannot teach what you do not know.” So if I don’t know how to deal with my feelings or accept disappointment in a healthy way, how can I expect my child to not throw a fit about leaving the park early?

Maybe everyone else already understands this, but it took this book for me to realize that children misbehave because they don’t know the appropriate way to deal with something, not because they are disrespectful. The first thing the author teaches is to accept the moment as it is and to look at this tantrum (or “bad” behavior or whining) as a moment to teach our children a better way. There are many times I whine or throw a tantrum as an adult, but we seem to expect children not to do these things and to be punished for them. Bialey has us focus less on punishment, and focus more on what we actually want our children to learn. Basically, this book is about changing our mindset about parenting, starting with changing our mindset about ourselves.

This might sound philosophical, but Bailey also has specific actions to take, to the point of “here are the words you could say” kind of thing. She gives tons of examples of what to do and compares that with what we might already be doing, which I appreciate. I think one of my biggest takeaways was from The Power of Attention: what you focus on, you will get more of. This might be obvious, but it is something I had never really practiced in a parenting context. I usually found myself saying, “Don’t do this,” “no, not that,” etc. Bailey suggests that we focus on what our kids are doing well and also giving a suggestion of what to do rather than what not to do. This is simply just reframing how we say things. For example, I should say, “Put your feet on the floor,” rather than “Don’t put your feet on the table.” Little things like this actually matter and make a difference.

I have become a more compassionate, centered parent because of this book. I still make mistakes, of course, but I have found this way of teaching rather than punishing helpful for my kids and me.

I found this book very useful, not simply for inspiring the reader to change the "technique" of discipline, from the "traditional" way of teaching based on fear, which I think we all know, to an approach based on understanding and loving our children, but also as a self-help book to improve ourselves, the way we communicate and our relationships with others in general.

The author could have made the book shorter and less theoretical in the first chapters, but overall, again, very useful. I highly recommend reading it.

The title and cover really aren't that enticing, but this was a really wonderful read. It has truly improved me as a person and my relationship with my son is so much better. I want all of my parent friends to read this!!

I love this book! It took me awhile to read it cover to cover, but every time I picked it up, I feel like I found something useful. I will continue to use it throughout my parenting. So many practical, helpful ideas here that can be used in daily life. I especially like how the author takes into account a child's developmental stage and the psychology behind human behavior.

Best Parenting Book I've read! The principles it teaches could change our world for the better, but we'll see if we can start with our family first! I'd recommend it to everyone!

I listened to this on audiobook, and I liked it so much, I might buy the hard copy to mark up and save as a reference. Numerous practical tips on how to connect with your child to promote cooperation and connection. I appreciated that it spoke to the young child age, rather than just older, because that's my life right now.
(You're welcome, Michelle.)

This book and others by Dr. Bailey has changed who I am as a Dad and as an educator. It offers practical tools as well as the underlying philosophy that connecting with kids and teaching them to modify their own behavior is always more effective than attempting to manipulate them through punishments and rewards. A good read for anyone wanting to make a difference with young children.

Pros: I found a lot of the specific recommendations and nitty-gritty tactics helpful in parenting (at this point, primarily for my 3 year old). I've tried a number of them over the last two months, and they seem to help diffuse conflict and increase cooperation! Many are very simple and subtle shifts that make a world of difference. I mean, truly *brain exploding emoji* when I read about offering two positive choices as a way to get your kid to do what you want in a way that also enables them to have a say/exert their will to choose. So for instance, rather than saying 'don't eat with your hands,' saying, 'you may eat with a fork or a spoon- which would you like to choose?' It applies in SO many situations. And that example also highlights another one of her big themes of asking for what you want (she calls it something different) in an actionable way. Me telling me toddler NOT to eat with her hands doesn't actually tell her what TO do, and I have realized how much I frame things in the negative rather than the positive. Helpful!
You can read the first couple chapters and honestly get the overall gist of each of the 7 skills, but then there are deep dives on each of them, sometimes a bit overkill, but it's there. Lots of dialogues and specific examples of "if your child does X, try Y" with phrasing and what to do with your body etc etc. In that sense, it gives a lot of ideas of tactics to try out. And for me, even taking away 4-6 actionable tactics that seem helpful, it's a win!

Cons: I almost completely disagree with some of the author's undergirding philosophy and really had to sift through that to determine whether I thought the tactics themselves would be useful even if I made that conclusion from a different philosophical place (in some cases yes, in some no). As with far too many parenting books, I disliked the heavy handed dogmatic undercurrent of "you must follow all of this exactly as I prescribe or a) it won't work and b) you'll ruin your kid because you're basically not parenting correctly." I also didn't care for all the made up lingo/buzzwords. Why in the world do you need 3 separate lists of 7 things (mega confusing)? So, at times, it felt overly complicated. But when I could sift through and pull out individual items, good stuff!