En mil pedazos

I absolutely LOVED how this book was written. It felt like you were really in his mind throughout the entire book which was really captivating. I also feel like the controversy around “memoir” here is lame. Who cares if some parts were a bit exaggerated/false? This man wrote a book many years later about a time of his life that was probably very foggy/hard to recall perfectly, so of course it wasn’t all 100% true. Also the parts that were claimed to be false didn’t even feel like the biggest points in the book to me, so I’m team James on this one. It’s a memoir in my eyes and I loved it

I don’t have a lot of good things to say about this. First, the way us was written left me with several headaches. It was annoyingly repetitive and threw grammar right out the window. Plus, no quotation marks made it difficult for me to know when people were talking except for the times he would write “he said” “I said” over and over.
Then I had a problem with the believability of the book. Two-thirds through the novel something kept nagging me in the back of my mind that the things that were happening just didn’t seem believable. Spoiler alert, I googled after reading this “memoir” to find out he had embellished his time, substance abuse, and criminal charges to make a better story. So here we have another privileged man who could have learned to be humble from his experience, but instead used it to make money. I’m angry I even finished it to be honest.
Some good points. I did appreciate the relationship with the other patients on the unit. I feel their stories, more so than James’ were powerful ones of what addiction can do to your life. They alone are what earns this book some stars, even though they may not have even existed.

I just re-read this for the first time since I initially went through it years ago - high school I think. This book still hits hard. It’s intense - but the intensity is necessary considering the topic.

I know the idea of certain parts being exaggerated or fabricated doesn’t sit well with some readers. I get that. But read it as fiction then - it’s still a very good read.

James Frey- whether it's fictionalized or real- has written one hell of a book. The harrowing story of an addict and his fight to kick the drugs and re-build his life. Oprah may have ripped him to shreds, but it's a well-written book, genre specification or not.

"Though I have been their child for 23 years, we have never been a family. We are now. As we hold each other."

Bu kitapta beni çeken ilk şey yazarın kendi hayatını yazması ve öyle mutlu, aşk dolu bir roman olmamasıydı. İkincisi ise daha önce alkolik ve uyuşturucu bağımlısı birinin bu denli ayrıntılı bir şekilde neler hissettiğini ve neler yaşadığ��nı daha önce hiç okumamış olmamdı.

James Frey’i hepimiz Endgame serisinin yazarı olarak biliyoruz peki ama bundan önce o kimdi? James, yaklaşık 13 yaşından beri alkol kullanıyor ve uyuşturucu bağımlısı. Bir gün nereye gittiğini bilmediği bir uçakta; ön dişleri kırılmış, burnu kırık, gözleri şişmiş ve kelimenin tam anlamıyla ölümüne dövülmüş bir şekilde yarı baygın yatıyor. Bu büyük olaydan sonra bir kliğine gidip bu yaşantısından kurtulmak istiyor. Anne, babası ve kardeşi ona sürekli destek oluyor fakat James’in içinde öyle büyük bir öfke var ki anne ve babasını ne zaman göre onlardan nefret ediyor. Onları seviyor ama yine de onlardan nefret etmekten kendini alamıyor. Klinikte geçirdiği günlerin çoğunu çok etkilenerek okudum. James, bağımlı olduğu için ilk günler onun için çok zor geçiyor. Geçirdiği nöbetler okumak Jems’in kendisi kadar beni de korkuttu. Bu nöbetlerin birinde James artık ölmeye karar veriyor ve klinikten ayrılmaya çalışıyor. Onu durduran kişi orada daha yeni tanıştığı Leonard oluyor. (My Friend Leonard adında bu arkadaşı için yazdığı bir kitap var, onu da okumak istiyorum.)

James, Leonard’a , 24 saat dayanmak için söz veriyor. Eğer 24 saatin sonunda hala kendini berbat hissederse gitmesine izin vermesini istiyor Bu konuda anlaştıktan 24 sonra James tamamen değişiyor. Klinikte kalıp savaşmaya devam ediyor. Ailesi ile yüzleşiyor, onlara bağımlı olduğu zamanlarını ve her yaşında neler yaptığını neler denediğini ayrıntılı bir şekilde anlatıyor. Bunları okumak benim için büyük bir şok oldu. Bir insanın bu kadar çok şey yapacağını tahmin edemezdim. Daha sonra bunlardan pişman olup özür dilemesi ama diğer yaşlarda aynılarını tekrar yapması çok sinirimi bozdu. Aynı şekilde bir rahibe içini döküp, yaşadığı sarsıcı bir olayı anlattıktan sonra o rahibin bir şey dememesi de aynı şekilde saçma geldi. Her ne kadar yaşanmış bir hikaye olsa da insan biraz destek bekliyor. Kitabın ilerleyişi her bölümde yaşanılan ve ortaya çıkan gerçekler sizi kitaba daha da çok bağlıyor. Kardeşi hakkında yazdıkları şey beni çok ama çok etkiledi. Orada ağladım. Ve kardeşinden bahsediş şekli çok enfes bir şeydi. Annesi ve babası ile bir sarılma anı var arkadaşlar…Bir kızı gördüğünde ağzından dökülen kelimeler var arkadaşlar... Ben öyle güzel bir şey okumadım. Leonard karakteri ise James’e yol gösteren bir baba figürüydü. (Kitabı okursanız bu göndermeyi anlayacaksınız.)

Dilinden çok az bahsedersem eğer okuyacak İngilizce kitap arıyorsanız bu kitabı kesinlikle öneririm. 400 kusur sayfa olması sizi korkutmasın. Kitabın yarısı boşluklu bir şekilde yazılmış diyaloglardan oluşuyor. E-kitap formatında indirip kitabı incelerseniz ne dediğimi anlayacaksınız. Ve çoğu kelime, cümleler basit yazılmış. Olduğu gibi yani. Yan ya da mecaz anlam yok. Rahatlıkla okursunuz. Benim için olumsuz yanlarına gelecek olursam, kolay okunuyor fakat o kadar çok aynı cümle, aynı an tekrar edildi ki çok sıkıldım. Bazı yerlerde sırf yazmak için yazdığını düşündüm. Çoğu yer kendi özeli olarak kalabilirdi diye de düşünmüyor değilim. Bazen de o kadar çok şey aynı anda oluyor ki diyorum acaba “gerçekten de yaşamış mısınız James bey bunları?” Son olarak, kitabın sonu ve her bir karaktere daha sonradan neler olduğu yazılması iyi düşünülmüş. Bende zaten hepsinin neler yaptığını çok merak ediyordum. Trajik bir yaşam hikâyesi okumak istiyorsanız, hemen okuyun bu kitabı. Orijinal dilinde okumanızı tavsiye ederim.

In 2003, James Frey released A Million Little Pieces, a memoir detailing his 10 year battle with drug and alcohol abuse. Praised by critics and championed by Oprah Winfrey, it seemed like Frey had achieved literary success. However, fast forward 2 years and website, "The Smoking Gun", investigated the legitimacy of some of the claims made in Frey's memoir. It turns out that Frey had embellished a few of the major events within his autobiography; mostly to do with jail time and his main love interest. Unfortunately, almost all reviews and press related to this book since that time period dwell heavily on the controversy and less on the story itself and really, it's not very fair.

A lot of people felt slighted or even taken advantage of due to Frey's erroneous claims and of course, people are entitled to their own opinions; one of the reasons I even review things to begin with. I never had this problem, not once. I heard about Frey's writing style; how different and refreshing it is - I was interested. From the get-go, I basically treated the book as fiction. Sure, after it was over, I was a little curious as to what was "real" and what was "heightened" or "imagined" and I did some research. I was a little disappointed but it didn't change the effect the book had on me, I still loved it either way.

I really felt for Frey's situation. Granted, it's all self inflicted and given my stance on drugs and alcohol, I rarely am able to show sympathy for anyone who makes that life choice. With Frey - or at least Frey's version of himself - you can really tell that deep down inside, he's a nice guy and you find yourself pulling for him from the very start. Frey has a way with writing about hostility and anger that you find yourself anxious for what's going to happen next - you keep waiting for people to loose their cool. This kind of writing makes the book hard to put down.

Also posted at Every Read Thing

** This may be one of the only books I can simultaneously place on both the fiction and non-fiction shelf.

I read MLP in the spring of 2004 after it was recommended to me by an internship supervisor-turned-friend when I shared with her a story I wrote about a man addicted to cocaine, inspired by true life events. Her life had also been touched by addiction and when she learned that mine was, she lent me the book. I was pulled in by it, chewed up, and spit out with everything put back together differently. Together, we dissected it at length, comparing battle scars reopened by Frey's raw-edged prose. We were the only ones we knew who had read it, and we didn't dare recommend it to just anyone. It was too weighty, the subject material cut too deep. No, MLP was like a secret club, something to be shared prefaced with a disclaimer of "It's really intense, and kind of gory at parts, impossible to read at others, but you might like it ..."

Then, Oprah happened. Dear, sweet, well-meaning Oprah departed from her usual selections and took her book club down a more gnarled, jagged path. Before long, suburban housewives were gasping when Frey vomited for the twelfth time, themselves gagging on lunch when he got his root canal with only tennis balls to squeeze to control the pain until his nails shattered, discussing his every relapse over coffee, weeping when he found the redemption he had fought so hard against.

Then, The Smoking Gun happened. They broke open his story, exposing alleged embellishments and outright fabrications. They vilified him, putting him down in a fiery pit with the likes of Stephen Glass and Jayson Blair. The millions of sheep Oprah shepherded Frey's way responded in kind, guided by a new messiah with a new message: Frey was a dirty, rotten man who should be spit upon if you run into him on the street. And certainly don't waste your tears and pity on such a despicable individual.

They feel betrayed. They welcomed this man into their hearts, they prayed for him, and parts of him never existed. That's all this book is to them-- the tragic story of a reluctant an unlikely hero. A bit less palatable than, say, Macbeth, but the archetype is still the same.

The Smoking Gun does have some hard evidence, I'm not going to lie. I don't know Frey personally, I don't know anything about him beyond what he has written. However, it doesn't diminish how I feel about the book. There are those of us, like my friend and I, with whom the book resonated due to an association with addiction, can appreciate it for what it is, however true or fabricated it may be.

I'm still haunted by things I read in that book. I keep going back to the root canal scene. That's one of the parts of the book that's under suspicion. Whether it happened or not, it's still captivating. My own mother is in recovery with over a decade of sobriety. She has to be very careful with what medications they use, no matter how much pain they're in, or how detatched they'd like to be. She's been clean and sober for over a decade, yet there are choices she to make every day with regards to keeping that sobriety. No, it's not as intense as the root canal scene. Both, however, serve as examples of how that one drink after work can turn into 4 drinks and then passing out can turn into something that will direct the rest of your life.

The fact of the matter remains, the writing is solid and the story is compelling. Frey is no Janet Cooke and MLP is no Jimmy's World.

If you read the book and you got a glimmer of hope from it, whether it be about your own addiction or the demons a loved one has faced, then it's still a worthwhile read.

Going into James Frey's A Million Little Pieces I thought I'd be prepared - I remember what happened with him on Oprah and all that. By reading it now rather than back then I wasn't bothered so much by the fact that this "memoir" is fictionalized. Knowing about the fact that details and major parts were "embellished" didn't bother me. Though I was really irritated while reading the entire book - to be honest I skimmed it - and some of that has to do with the situations the "author" has gotten himself into in general. A good chunk of it though comes from the style. I mean, I like the idea of stream of consciousness inside the head of an addict, but I didn't actually like how it turned out. There's a lot of repetition, random capitalization of nouns, few chapter or section breaks, and there are no quotation marks. It's kind of difficult to follow, especially if you're just trying to keep track of who is supposed to be speaking and when. Overall, I'm glad I didn't read this a decade ago or I would have been really upset!