This book is hauntingly familiar to Dreiser's "An American Tragedy." Four children, their parents and a marriage are all sacrificed on the pyre of the parents' self-perceived image in the community. Joyce Carol Oates is an author who is powerful enough to make us feel their initial disbelief and subsequent pain following the "incident." I found Michael Sr. to be the most dislikeable character because he used the rape of his daughter to justify his own despicable behavior when he was needed the most and I found the daughter to be the one most deserving of our compassion. This is a book that will make its readers take a good, hard look at the depth of their own meaningful relationships to see if they would survive a devastation of the magnitude suffered by the Mulvaneys. This book is about people who prefer to maintain appearances at all cost and the cost is, indeed, very dear.

L’orgoglio precede la caduta

Abbandonatevi a J.C. Oates, lasciate vi porti a spasso dagli anni ‘30 agli ’80 e che decida lei quando fare un’anticipazione, indugiare su una descrizione o sulla genesi di un soprannome. Fidatevi, chiudete gli occhi e vedrete i vostri genitori, i vostri fratelli... La famiglia è il nastro di Moebius della società, la sua superficie è infinitamente percorribile.
Bel romanzo, ci sono stati momenti di coinvolgimento estremo:
“Puoi avere un solo figlio miracoloso. Se sei fortunato. Però molta gente non lo è. (Quindi non dovete gongolare, è ovvio)
e altri in cui mi stupivo che la voce narrante maschile appartenesse in realtà a una donna, tanto era verosimile. Lo Oates è brava con le sue inquadrature in campo lungo, da fuori, ma soprattutto in quelle da dentro. I quattro figli diventano Mulo, Pizzicotto, Germoglio e Fossette. Riti, manie, debolezze e lessico, finiranno per farvi sentire uno di loro, non li dimenticherete.

Come colonna sonora scelgo: Sweet - Love is like Oxygen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRVwcP...

This was the book that made me realize that life is too short to be part of Oprah's sadistic book club. I think their unofficial motto is LET'S BE DEPRESSED.

This is one of the saddest, most depressing books I've read in my entire life. To me, it felt like there was no redemption to justify all the needless sorrow. The dad tore his entire family apart because HE couldn't handle rape. Was this dude the one that got raped? No. Did he ruin his family because he was just so emotionally destroyed by what happened to the actual VICTIM? Yup.
He should've just left his family instead of messing every single member up for the rest of their lives.

Kuri tavo versija skambina mamai?

Kas tu be spintoj kabančių drabužių? Kas tu, kai vakare nusigramdai visas per dieną užsidėtas kaukes ir stoji į akistatą su savim? Koks tu, kai iš tikrųjų pyksti? Ką galvoji, kai veidrody stebi savo nuogumą? Kurios mintys yra tik tavo? Ar girdi save?

Ši knyga geniali. Būtų kvaila atpasakot turinį – anotaciją lengvai susirasit patys. Man norisi apie knygos poveikį pakalbėt.

Perskaičiau šią netrumpą – 600 puslapių – istoriją ir prisiminiau, kad tiek skirtingų karolinų yra, jog neverta skaičiuot. Ji gali prisitaikyti prie žmonių ir aplinkybių. Ji gali norėti patikti ir dėl to pamiršti save. Ji gali nusidainuoti, maivytis ir būt rimta.

Ji gali būti visokia, bet šeimoj ji nuoga. Gryna. Slapstykis nesislapstęs, namiškiai tave kiaurai permato. Galit domėtis skirtingais dalykais, net pasukti skirtingais keliais, bet tie žmonės visada žinos, kas tu esi iš tikrųjų. Kokia tavo šerdis. Pamatas.

Dabar tikrai prisiminsiu tris žodžius – Joyce Carol Oates. Jos parašyta istorija buvo apie mane. Kiek panašumų su savim ir savo šeima radau. Esu trečias vaikas šeimoj, dar turim mažylį, kuris jau seniai su barzda. Net neabejoju – ši knyga buvo apie mus ir daugelį kitų šeimų.

Man ši istorija buvo tarsi terapija. Tyra, tikra, nesumeluota. Tarsi pasivaikščiojimas prisiminimuose.

Be warned that just about everything in this review will give something away.

I would have given this four stars, but I just couldn't. I was too aware of Oates manipulating her poor characters, and I just couldn't believe the basic premise. There is a wonderful, close, warm family and the daughter, too-good-to-be-true Christian is brutally raped, but refuses to press charges. This is taking turn the other cheek a bit far, in my opinion. The rest of the book tells how that action--that supposedly "good" action, or nonaction--tore the family apart. The father was so guilt-stricken that he couldn't protect his family, that he eventually banished the girl. And the mother, because she loved her husband first, allowed the banishment. Now, somehow, I just can't follow the psychological logic behind all of this. It seemed more of a literary experiment to prove that it's not always good to be good. I also didn't buy that the father, once a shrewd businessman, would let his obsession with getting legal vengeance tear apart his life. It didn't seem likely to me. If he wasn't an obsessive compulsive before, why would he be one when his daughter was raped? It seemed more like an author manipulating her characters.

I did like several chapters very much. I thought the one chapter, late in the book, written from the now-derelict fathers point of view, was brilliant. And I liked how the family rose from the ashes once the rotten tooth of the father was out of the way. But as I said before, the whole of the book didn't make psychological sense to me. It didn't ring true.

I love this book, for the same reason other people dislike it, and can't seem to finish it. I am surprised by all of the people who say that the father's reaction to the girl after she is raped "doesn't make sense". They don't seem to be aware that his reaction is typical of a man's reaction in such a situation, when a woman or girl he loves, and feels he should have been able to protect, has been violated by rape, she becomes a symbol to him of his failure as a man, to protect that which he most loves, and most holds sacred. He distances himself from her. Sometimes he actually physically abandons her, because he can't stand the pain he feels about it. When are people going to study human psychology for what it is, instead of trying to apply practical logic where it does not fit?
This is a realistic story of an otherwise happy family destroyed by violence against one of it's members. This is a common story that happens all the time. It's a story well told, it's just not a tale we like to hear. Heartbreaking.

Neabejodama konstatuoju, jog Malveiniai viena puikiausių knygų skaitytų šiemet. Tikrai, nepabijokit nei knygos storio, nei kad šeimos drama bus telemundiška- čia toks gražus perlas, kad aš drąsiai ją rykiuoju šalia Bradbury „Pienių vyno“, Lee „Nežudyk strazdo giesmininko“ ar net Irvingo - bet kurio romano, papasakoto iš vaiko perspektyvos. Kodėl, kodėl gi taip drąsiai? Na tai jūs paskaitykit, kad ir šią ištrauką:
Patvoryje spietėsi saulėgrąžos, jau panarinusios apvytusias galveles, linguojančios vėjyje it girtos. Paukščiai išlesė sėklas joms iš veidų, tad stovėjo išdraskytos ir aklos, bet eidamas pro šalį vis tiek jaučiausi keistai - saulėgrąžos baisiai primena žmones!

Ir nors prilyginau dabar čia kitiems pasaulinio garso kūriniams, Oates tikrai nėra nei vieno jų plagiatas, nei vieno jų wanna be - iš tiesų, romanas, nors pradžioje man priminė minėtuosius kūrinius, vėliau įgavo savo stilių ir išraišką. Na bet sugrįžkim - jei mylit minėtų autorių braižą, jei esat šeimos istorijų mylėtojai, tai tuomet tik darkart tūkstantis - turit nepraleist Malveinių istorijos. O gal iš tiesų tai ne tik mėgstantiems šeimos istorijas. Šiaip, sakyčiau, knyga turėtų patikti ir platesniam skaitytojų ratui, nes juk būtent - ji apie šeimą, o šeimas (vienokias ar kitokias) turbūt, kad turime visi. Ir visos tos šeimos: mūsų, kaimynų, draugų, nepažįstamųjų turi savo kirmėlių, yra kažkuo keistos, kažkuo išskirtinės. Taip taip, net tosios, kurių fasadai blizga nudailintomis šypsenomis, švariomis mergyčių suknelėmis ir mandagiais berniukų poelgiais, gardžiais mamų pyragais, ir išlygintais tėčių marškiniais. Visos - turi savo skaudulių, ir savo spindulių. Todėl romane tikrai rasite kažką artimo ir sau asmeniškai. 

Gal romanas ir nešokiruos, netaps gyvenimo knyga, bet jis toks paprastas, artimas, paliečiantis, na toks - visapusiškai kokybiškas, kad tikrai vertas skaitytojo laiko.

I was just nearly through writing a review of this, and Goodreads crashed and I lost it! We Were a Review of We Were the Mulvaneys. :-(

4.5 ⭐️

Added 2/19/10.

n  10/26/12n
Today I finished watching the movie adaptation of We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates via a Netflix DVD.

See my comments about the book below these comments about the movie.

"We Were the Mulvaneys" (2002)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313769/
http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/We-Were-...
NETFLIX DESCRIPTION: "In 1976, in the small town of St. Ephraim, N.Y., the Mulvaney clan lived what most people would consider the American Dream. But mum's the word when one year, a tragic incident occurs that the family -- and townspeople -- vow never to mention again. Beau Bridges and Blythe Danner star in this sensitive drama based on the novel of the same name by Joyce Carol Oates."

Once I got into it, I was riveted. Tammy Blanchard played the young girl, Marianne Mulvaney. She gave a sterling performance. Brought tears to my eyes which doesn't happen often during a movie.

Not all the member reviews at IMDb or Netflix were favorable but the story was engrossing and I was glued to the screen. Dark stories aren't my usual fare but I was curious about this one because the book was by Oates and I probably will never read it. Now at least I have an idea of what it was about.

One of the IMDb member reviews says: "The story is about a family that functions at a high level - as long as there are no bumps in the road. When the family is tested, not every family member has the inner strength or character to keep the family together." I thought the rest of review was good too. It's at: http://www.imdb.com/user/ur1840086/co...

Another IMDb member review had an interesting comment as well:
(This may be a bit of a *spoiler* but not much.)
------------------------------
"It might be difficult for the younger generations to understand the progression of this movie's plot. We know now that women have rights, too, that they are sometimes violated against their will, and that hidden secrets have a way of coming out against our will."

"But people just a few decades ago did not know that. Just three decades ago, a women was presumed to have invited a man to have sex with her if she cried rape. Sexual abuses were hushed, pregnant girls sent away in group homes."

"I suspect that women from past eras will find this film provoking, and the younger ones will do well to see how much progress has been achieved since. We still have a long way to go, of course."
FROM: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313769/r...
------------------------------

BTW, IMDb did not have any "External Reviews" on this movie. That might mean that it wasn't too well received by the critics or it might mean something else. I dunno.

Addendum:
Group member, Margaret wrote:
==================================
"Joy, it sounds from the experience you're describing with TGD [The Gravedigger's Daughter], as if We Were the Mulvaneys is another of JCO's [Joyce Carol Oates] novels you'd find very satisfying."
"It's also driven primarily by character and narrative, and isn't so much weighted down by the author's enormous brain! I do sometimes think that her reputation can be more intimidating than many of her books really are - she has a magnificent imagination, and she's a tremendous stylist, and I always feel that very confident, literate writers are 'easy' to read even when they're tackling pretty esoteric material."
==================================

See also:
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1...
(This is a link to my group's discussion of: _The Gravedigger's Daughter_ by Joyce Carol Oates.)

n  6/9/13 - ADDENDUM:n
I've begun reading the book, We Were the Mulvaneys. I love all the author's descriptive details as well as the slant she takes on all her characters, really fleshing them out. I'll be a while reading this one!

n  7/2/13 - ADDENDUM:n
I have finished reading this compelling story. It held my interest all the way. The San Francisco Chronicle wrote: "Rarely has such an acclaimed writer made such a startling and inspiring statement about the value of hope and compassion."

The only reservation I have is that the premise seems to be weak.  It's hard to believe that a father would disown his daughter (and never want to see her again) because she was raped. The whole story is based on that premise. The plot that unrolls afterwards is riveting but you have to accept that one weak premise.

The GR review of Goodreads member, Sherry, deals with the weakness of the premise. See her review at:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...
Note the "Spoiler Alert".

Why I Stopped Reading on p. 14: Yes, I would normally give a book more time to hook me (I try to give 10% or 50 pages, depending on the length), but there's no reason to do so this time. I can't abide the profusion of italics and exclamation points and pointless run-on sentences. I can't abide the cutesy voice of Judd, the 30-year-old baby of the family, gushing descriptions of his family without giving me any clue as to his own personality (except that he's a gusher). And I can already tell Judd is going to mess with me, withhold things, bait me and then not tell me The Big Secret. For 450 pages? No. Can't do it.

Oh, and this:

Everything recorded here happened and it's my task to suggest how, and why; why what might seem to be implausible or inexplicable at a distance--a beloved child's banishment by a loving father, like something in a Grimm fairy tale--isn't implausible or inexplicable from within. I will include as many "facts" as I can assemble; and the rest is conjecture, imagined but not invented. Much is based upon memory and conversations with family members about things I had not experienced firsthand nor could possibly know except in the way of the heart.

So the author here is warning me that 1.) The story is implausible, but the narrator will try to make me believe I missed something if I conclude that the story is implausible; 2.) The narrator will be unreliable in other ways as well; 3.) The author fully intends to break point-of-view rules.

I'm okay with a well-done unreliable narrator, but one that's badly done (purely to manipulate the reader) is one of my literary pet peeves, so ... Overall, plenty of reasons for an enthusiastic pass on this one.

The American family novel often goes as follows: first, depict a family that seems to be happy and functional; second, demonstrate how illusory this really is as hypocrisy and dysfunction are exposed, often tearing the family completely apart; and third, bring the family or at least some remnant of the family back together again for a rather upbeat ending. The assumption seems to be that however awful families might be, they are in the end our only sure refuge, a refuge that is only found after going through a good stretch of hell. The French family novel is quite different from this, a subject for another time. Joyce Carol Oates' novel "We Were the Mulvaneys" generally follows the typical American pattern, but it is redeemed somewhat by being so extreme that almost must be understood as darkly comic satire. After all, the Mulvaneys are not just happy but almost absurdly so--they virtually wallow in joy at one another's presence, although the reader sometimes can't see why! And when the fall comes, it is equally extreme. The Mulvaney daughter, the joy of her father, is date-raped, for which her father can never forgive her and which turns him into an alcoholic brute (from sweet guy to alcoholic brute . . . I guess that happens sometimes). A variety of other extreme things occur, which I will not describe so as to avoid a spoiler alert. No alert is necessary for the end of the story since it is, after all, an American family novel. Now, this all sounds bad, but I confess to being born an American and finding myself sometimes almost teary-eyed at the very sentimentality about families that I rather deplore. Moreover, Joyce Carol Oates writes well, and I really do think some of this novel is tongue-in-cheek. Gee, I could hardly it down, even as it wove its way through the predictable pattern.