This book starts off slowly, with sweeping descriptions of the landscape and the perfection of the Mulvaney family's idyllic life on their farm in upstate New York. It picks up, though, and the real story begins as the family's perfect facade is destroyed.

Essentially, this is the story of how a single event, and our reactions to it, can shape our entire lives. The lone Mulvaney daughter, Marianne, is raped following her junior prom. The attacker is never brought to justice and the shame surrounding the event causes Marianne's parents to send her away to live with a great-aunt. Mulvaney patriarch Michael becomes an alcoholic and loses the respect of his his fellow townspeople while his wife Corinne wants to carry on as if nothing has happened. Michael, Jr. distances himself from his family by joining the Marines while Academic middle brother Patrick becomes consumed with hatred for their father. The story is told by the youngest son, Judd, who is recruited by Patrick in his quest to avenge their sister's honor. The family is never quite able to overcome the shadow of the attack, and their story is heartbreaking.

Sometimes the bleakness can be a little oppressive and it's true that the characters are a little cookie-cutter in the beginning, but as the story moves on they become more complex and unique. I found the story powerful and the prose beautiful, and I couldn't out it down until I was weeping as I read the final pages.

“Quali sono le parole giuste per riassumere una vita, tanta affollata confusa felicità che si conclude con un atroce dolore al rallentatore?” si domanda il narratore del romanzo. La Oates le ha trovate alla grande le parole, il fatto è che, secondo me, ha esagerato.
Un romanzo fiume, di circa 500 pagine, che inizia con la descrizione di una famiglia americana perfetta, i Mulvaney, una moglie e madre vivace ed allegra, un marito ambizioso e quattro splendidi figli, più una miriade di animali che vivono con loro nella fattoria color lilla nella campagna americana, a Mount Ephraim. Una famiglia benedetta da Dio, per alcuni, stucchevole per altri. Fino a quando la “affollata confusa felicità”non viene interrotta da “una cosa” che accade alla bella figlia adolescente, Marianne detta Germoglio nella notte di San Valentino del 1976. “Le famiglie sono così, a volte. Qualcosa va per il verso sbagliato e nessuno sa come rimediare e gli anni passano e … nessuno sa come rimediare.” Tutto va a rotoli, nessuno si salva e nessuna empatia scatta per alcuno dei protagonisti: sono tutti vittime di una cosa più grande di loro? Sono una famiglia perfetta solo all’apparenza ma in realtà sono tutti degli individui spietati e immaturi –per primi i genitori- incapaci di comunicare, incapaci di reagire al dolore che li dilania? Allora c’è che comincia a bere, chi scappa, chi si arruola nei marines, chi si camuffa per non vedersi più come era prima: ognuno si difende come può, in modo scomposto, distruggendo sé stesso e la famiglia.
Joyce Carol Oates ci descrive dettagliatamente i meccanismi che scattano in ciascuno dei Mulvaney in seguito all’incidente, ed è la parte più riuscita del romanzo, sebbene, come ho detto, sia troppo minuziosa fino all’eccesso. Il finale poi mi ha spiazzato, non ci ero preparata, visto quanto accaduto prima. E comunque non mi ha convinto.
Le stelle sono quattro, ma la Oates è pesante.

By the end of this book I was crying. I just want to start with that and get it cleared out of the way. It wasn't just a sniff and the threat of tears, I had actual tears running down my face and snot streaming out of my nose. I was leaking enough that I actually had to put the book down and go grab some tissues.

This book is very emotional, not just with how it makes the reader feel, but with how it's written. There was something unique about Oates writing that reflected a purely emotional connection. The way sentences and phrases were repeated was reminescent of the speech of someone in a highly emotional state. It reminded me of when I am very angry or upset and am trying to convey something towards the source of my anger/sadness/passion and I feel the need to repeat what I find so important, even if it's really a minor issue. That was how Oates writing felt a lot of the times. It's probably why I found myself getting upset, frustrated, curious, or sad, because she wrote in a way to help push those emotions to the front.

Of course the subject matter really increased my emotions. The things this family went through and how they dealt with is enough to break your heart just hearing about it, let alone suddenly becoming very involved. All the characters are sympathetic, even Michael Sr., who is pretty easy to hate. Everyone we encounter is flawed and real and that makes you feel for them so much more. Of course the one you feel for the most is Marianne, the true victim in all of this. Yet, somehow she manages to move on with her life and become the strongest of all the Mulvaneys. She's filled with hope and love and the fact she maintains that after her rape and then the odd rejection of her family is truly amazing.

The last part of the book and the ending was very bittersweet. As much as you want to be happy you can't help feeling something is just not letting you achieve that. It's probably the same thing the Mulvaneys are feeling by the end. Somehow we've become the Mulvaneys by just a few chapters into the book, so truly whatever they're feeling, you're now feeling. That just got you all the more involved in the book, because of course you want to know everything that happens and why. It also makes the book that much harder to put down.

I've read Foxfire and want to reread it now, but I remember it's tone and style being extremely different from We Were the Mulvaneys. I haven't read any of Oates other works, though. Do they all vary from each other? Do they live up to the greatness of We Were the Mulvaneys? Should I try out her other works, or am I just destined to be disappointed after this book? I would love to hear your opinions on Oates other works as well as what you thought of We Were the Mulvaneys. Did y'all enjoy it as much as I did and have it affect you like it did me? Please share.

To sum it all up, I think the Los Angeles Times Book Review says it best: "Will break your heart, heal it, then break it again."

First an admission of how I read this book. I happened to find it in a thrift store for 99 cents, and I read it daily on my bus trip to and from work. Reading it daily, but only a few pages at a time may or may not have colored the way I view it.

If you are looking for a quick read, full of action, plot and intrigue, this is not the book for you.

But if you are looking for a writer at the top of her game, taking the time to set her story in intricate, though necessary, settings of place, plot, character and backstory, then by all means take the journey Joyce Carol Oates is inviting you to take.

I have read others say that Oates spends too much time on minutae, the definition of which is certainly in the eye of the beholder, that she should have gotten on with the story. I disagree. Every story that she tells, every detail that she describes about High Point Farm, the animals, the smells, is essential to a full understanding of the story that follows. Reading this to pass the time as the bus rolled along, I found myself in the middle of the world she so vividly describes, and less concerned that she was wasting my precious time.

This is also a novel that can be read on many levels. Certainly it is the story of the deterioration of an American family, but it is also the story of how difficult it is to break the bonds of love once forged. It is also a story of the fragility of self-esteem solely based on how others view us, which, of course, can turn on a dime, with underscoring threads of the fundamental coldness of nature itself and the inevitibility of death. These themes are interwoven with the philosophies of Christianity, Darwinism, and the age of reason that in Oates' skilled hands seem not to compete with each other so much as to cooperate, and perhaps even complement.

If you are also looking for a book with easily identifiable heroes and villans to relate to, cheer for and boo and hiss at, then again, this is not a book for you. The characters Oates' draws are human, with all their flaws and weaknesses. Every single one of them is unpredictable, at time unfathomable, at times loveable, and at time detestable. Just like life itself.

And like life itself, there are no easy answers.

This will be a book I will find impossible to forget for quite some time, if ever.

Maniau, bus koks klampinantis liūnas, pasiglemžantis vienas po kito narį, neatlaikius "įvykio" pasekmų.
Bet teatradau eilinę amerikietišką istoriją, kai vienas šeimos narys nesusidoroja su psichologinėm emocijom ir prasideda smukimas žemyn.
Nieko kažko ypatingo, nieko kažko naujo. Tiesiog glaistymas, apsimetinėjimas ir visuomenės nusisukimas ištikus negandai.
Tiek ir tegaliu pasakyti.

i didn't like it much. i am a big fan of her stories. it opened well, but once the event happens, which the books turns on, it falls apart and i lost interest in the characters. i think there are novels that should be long stories. its because the theme is great, but the plot, the characters, the story do not need the length of a novel to develop. and instead do not stand under the weight of that much scrutiny. i liked the movie brokeback mountain by proulx [sic], but her short story was a lot better. at times the movie dragged and that was because it was too long. scene after scene of frustration and anger over living a lie was wasted in the movie. the story gave a clear, but concise glimpse. the reader got it. here i think it was the same for oates. where in stories like "where are you going, where have you been" she communicates so much in a matter of pages, i think she communicates so little over the matter of a novel. a horrible thing is done to a family member, the family feels unable to address the wrong at the time, and consequently they disintegrate. and one third into this book that is clear and we read about it for another few hundred pages.

Tolstoy opens his Anna Karenina with the famous quote: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. It seems so appropriate to We Were the Mulvaneys.

Oates spends about 100 pages telling us how good and normal and happy is this family. It began to get on my nerves, frankly. "C'mon, make something happen here." So she did. All over the cover of my copy, reviewers were saying how Oates had created a novel "about the compelling ties of love" and "the value of hope and compassion." The people who said that determined to conclude just the opposite of what Oates wrote, that Oates showed what could happen if you did not value hope and compassion, if you broke the ties of love.

Yes, I wanted her characters to have behaved differently. It's very difficult to tell why without spoilers. I did ask my husband what his father would have done in the same circumstances. "He'd have killed the bastard." Well, vigilante justice is one approach. Actually, it is part of the story - the only part that makes sense to me. Everything else I fought against. The story just keeps you reading even if you want the story to go in a different direction. Oates is good that way - there is no point in my reading something if it just leaves me in my comfort zone page after page.

I have a couple of complaints. I did think she was repetitive about some things. She might not have said the same thing in the same way every time, but I got it - get on with it! And then there is the prose. I complain when authors write too many sentence fragments. There were lots of them in this. I finally stopped fighting that, too, though. I didn't have the energy to fight both the prose and the characters. For this latter reason, I can give this only 4 stars, even though I'm not likely to forget it for awhile.

[This is my 500th review on Goodreads. Must mark this milestone someplace.]

Confession. I have a peculiar interest in stories that most people consider depressing. I like to observe how people fail. I enjoy watching an author destroy families. Poor decisions, personal flaws, bad luck, awful timing--I don't care what causes it, just as long as the characters unravel, sucking faster clockwise down the toilet. Let me be clear: in real life I don't wish bad things to happen. But, there's a lot of human suffering in the world, and I find that subject more interesting than fiction with an inspirational tone or an uplifting message. I must have morbid chromosomal base pairs that make me intrigued with hidden, lurid details about a character's devolution to the bottom.

I've experienced a rather peaceful, profitable, humble, healthy, nuclear life. My stock has had a slow but interminable rise through 40 years, with the normal distressing whipsaws that are naturally smoothed over time. I've not had a sustained depression or streak of bad luck that was ever intractable. I've never been addicted, obsessed, exploited, abused, or criminal. I've never had a malignancy. Perhaps it's from this 'normal' life I like to experience vicariously the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.' I don't read these depressing novels with any air of conceit or swagger. I just want to know how life could otherwise be.

And yet, that doesn't explain my peculiar interest. There's something more. There's something more engaging about a tragic story than a hopeful one; something that demands attention. Something that makes you stare more intensely at a street riot than a street party; an old man crying than an old man laughing; scandal than good news; self-destruction than self-improvement. This also explains my attraction to the Realists and Naturalists, writers like Theodore Dreiser, John Steinbeck, Frank Norris, William Dean Howells, and the absolute genius of Emile Zola. These authors grind their characters into chaff and seed. Zola abuses, lacerates, addicts, crushes, masticates, and annihilates his characters; he brings hellfire. Joyce Carol Oates gets in the vicinity of that fire.

We Were the Mulvaneys is a book that moves over the unwinding and dissolution of a family like a discriminating hand over braille. Joyce Carol Oates introduces a 6 member family at their peak. Maybe even she introduces them past their zenith and onto the shallow downwind slope of the bell curve. Perhaps the Mulvaneys have never been better than 10-15 pages before the start of the book. That halcyon moment, unwritten, scintillating, which existed just before you started reading. The family tears itself apart over the next 430 pages. Oates orchestrates this family tragedy from a single, brutal incident. She captures the realism of how this incident reverberates to the rest of the family. There's a natural rhythm and a wholly believable anastomosis of decisions that are set forth, irrevocably patterned before each family member. They all make the worst decisions, the most defeating choices.

If you don't like chapter after chapter of hate, fear, guilt, anger, impotence, rot, and self-immolation, then you will score this book lower than 3 stars. If you're like me, and want to snoop on these human conditions, you'll have to score at least 3--if not more--stars. I added a fourth star because, although I found no absolutely unforgettable lines to quote, Mrs. Joyce writes well and injects several brilliant metaphors, and the book, overall, steadily engages the reader. The characters, and their actions, are believable. However, like an afterclap, she tarnishes for me the whole book with an unnecessary 21 page epilogue that, down to the last sentence, repudiates the theme of self-destruction she's worked to achieve in 430 pages. Suddenly and out of all character to the rest of the book, the remaining family members become a happy, loving family with a healthy, productive future. It's as if Oates didn't have the gonads to leave her characters crushed and destitute. Instead, she rushed a happy ending that redeems the human condition.

Otherwise she has a tendency to repeat verbs three times in a row, ostensibly to achieve a certain story-telling effect, but it becomes overworked by the fifteenth time she uses it. Good character development (if the Mulvaneys leave you enraged with what appears spineless and idiotic behavior, then Oates has done her job--she's faithfully represented the spineless and idiotic behavior in your communities all around you--open you eyes). This is not a tour de force or an epic; that would require 250 more pages and a little better writing. I recommend this Oprah (...meh) Book Club selection.

New words: cloche, jodhpurs, chignon

Inquietante e doloroso.
Ti irretisce in una storia che intuisci non essere "perfetta", come in un puzzle montato al contrario, come un'illusione tenuta in piedi solo dal prestigiatore con la connivenza del pubblico.
Descrive per 400 pagine la sostanziale disgregazione di una famiglia perfetta, e la incurabile separazione dei 4 figli+2 genitori.
400 pagine dense di emozioni, veramente ben scritte e congegnate (che ruotano attorno ad un fulcro doloroso e purulento), ma cade nel finale. L'ultimo capitolo non collima col resto, prima la disperazione e poi - senza che accada nulla - tutti di nuovo normali felici e contenti.

As a first time reader of Joyce Carol Oates, I have to say I was impressed by this. She writes purposefully with a clear understanding of her subject, the subject here being family. We all have one, and love them or hate them, our lives are more often times than not a reflection of them and the choices they make.
The story here, a rather sprawling one, is about how an unfortunate event tears one such family apart. Sometimes heartbreaking, it took me a while to read mainly because of its length, plus I read multiple other books at any one time.
Some parts of the book seem to go on for too long, and there were a few times I was ready for it to end, but I can’t say that at any point I felt like this was a bad book. A very strong 4 stars.

Oh you guys, where to begin with this one? JCO really brings out the feels on this one, and a lot of them are really unpleasant.

Some of them, especially in the beginning, are wonderful. I fell in love with the Mulvaneys early on. They're charming and seemingly perfect, a mix of jokesters (Mike, Jr.), needling nerds (Pinch!) and batty kooks (I wanted Corinne to adopt me the first time I read this). Even Marianne, the devout, kind (and, yes, kind of sanctimonious) daughter, is the kind of girl you'd let sit at your lunch table, at least on days when you weren't wearing a skirt short enough to scandalize her. Oates sets up this loving, slightly quirky, seemingly perfect family but it's clear early on that a Bad Thing is going to happen. She punctuates the first half of the novel with sharp jabs from the night Marianne was raped by a classmate, single italicized sentences that rip tiny holes in the idyllic tapestry of their lives. It becomes harder and harder to read cheery descriptions of Corinne's twee antique shop when you're waiting for it all to catch fire.

If the (really great) reviews of fellow GoodReaders are any indication, the family's reactions to the Bad Thing were extremely polarizing. How could this perfect family fall so far so fast? And how could Marianne not press charges? How could anyone - even her own father - seem to blame her for what happened? But Oates isn't condoning anyone's behavior. She's telling a story, provoking these very uncomfortable but necessary questions in her readers. The Mulvaneys, like many young families, were never actually perfect, but their seemingly boundless happiness projected perfection to the rest of Mt. Ephraim: This is what a Family is supposed to look like. And the weight of that expectation plays a role in how they all react to the Bad Thing.

Happily Ever After usually ends before the Boy and Girl (or whatever permutation you're working with) even have kids, but that idyll - the one Corinne and Michael Mulvaney seemed to have before Marianne's dress was irreparably ripped by a drunken adolescent - is what everybody wants. And when something ruins that - whether it's the terrible actions of a high school boy on Prom night or, say, the systematic betrayal of a husband who cheats and gambles and, worst of all, lies about all of it until there's no way out (hypothetically speaking, obviously) - it can feel like the entire world is ending.

The Bad Thing has the power to break us, and for much of the back half of We Were the Mulvaneys, it seems to have broken every last one of them. There's no solace in pretending it never happened, or in trying to rebuild the same life that was just destroyed. Instead, the best any of us can do when the Bad Thing happens is to pick ourselves up and start over. It's never going to look like the idealized life we lost or the magical life we dreamed about when we were younger, but it also has the power to teach us who we really are beyond the glossy veneer of our old, perfect (but, tbh, probably filtered) family photos.

"È stata solo una cosa che è successa. Le famiglie sono così a volte. Qualcosa va per il verso sbagliato e nessuno sa come rimediare e gli anni passano e...nessuno sa come rimediare".

Oates è una scrittrice scrupolosa, il grado di dettaglio raggiunto in questo romanzo lo dimostra e ne attesta la sapienza dello sguardo. Raccontando il destino dei Mulvaney, una famiglia numerosa e carismatica che negli anni 70 occupa una vivace fattoria a nord dello stato di New York, decide di descriverci le minuziosità della vita domestica: i soprannomi, i loro animali domestici, i piccoli rituali familiari, la grande casa. Ne fa un ritratto solido, mai idilliaco. Ci fa capire come la violenza colpisce persone normali, non speciali. La violenza colpisce tutti, è connaturata. E quando assesta il colpo, spaccando di fatto a metà la famiglia, lo fa con una precisione inquietante.

Oates è una scrittrice disturbante, che alterna il fiabesco e il mostruoso, che non ha paura di spiare negli angoli più nascosti delle soffitte e, anzi, è proprio lì che getta la sua luce. Non fa sconti, è financo crudele. Ma in questo romanzo non risparmia bellezza, felicità, tanto amore. I suoi romanzi hanno sempre una forte componente sociale fortissima ma in “una famiglia americana” sono le dinamiche familiari della cerchia più stretta dei Mulvaney che conquistano, le loro emozioni e i loro errori madornali.