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April 17,2025
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Ci fu un momento di silenzio tra noi. Capivo che non dovevo parlare, dire una parola. Come avessimo vissuto così, a nostro agio l'uno con l'altro, per i quattordici anni in cui ci eravamo persi.

We were the Mulvaneys è la storia della società americana che caratterizzava una certa epoca, ma prima ancora è la storia di una famiglia perfetta che subisce un colpo, la perfezione s'incrina, tocca terra, e poi si spezza. E cosa succede a una famiglia perfetta che si spezza? Tenta di ricomporsi? Può ricomporsi? Come? Andando ognuno per la propria strada. Faticando, piangendo, diventando se stessi e non la proiezione nella realtà di immagini mentali. È la storia straziante del disfacimento di una bellissima famiglia, dei motivi sociali che portano a tale disfacimento e della forza necessaria per ricostruire, per andare avanti.

È superfluo dire che questo romanzo mi è piaciuto tantissimo. Un po' meno superfluo dire che mi ha fatto piangere. Se un libro mi fa piangere è quasi sempre per due motivi: o i personaggi sono delineati benissimo, o il libro è scritto talmente bene da commuovere. Qui siamo nel primo caso pur non escludendo la scrittura fluida e ricca della Oates, una scrittura molto americana che mi ricorda parecchio Irving. I personaggi di questo libro mi sono entrati dentro. I personaggi di questo romanzo sono il romanzo. Ognuno ha un punto di vista assai differente; notevole soprattutto la religiosità molto radicata in alcuni personaggi e la totale assenza di essa in altri di loro.

Da cosa parte il disgregarsi dei Mulvaney? È un incidente, un "semplice incidente". Basta uno stupro, un po' di alcool, un po' di purezza di cuore a causa di Gesù, ed ecco che la società esclude questa famiglia, la bandisce dalla vita normale. Diventano come reietti, come degli esclusi. Non sono portatori di una malattia mortale. Sono persone normali il cui equilibrio familiare è stato turbato, sono incapaci di reagire perché fino a quel momento andava tutto bene e adesso la gente sembra far finta che non ci siano.

"La vita è cane che mangia cane, perché non ammetterlo? Lo avevano privato dell'attività che aveva impiegato una vita a costruire, gli avevano preso la casa-fattoria, la famiglia. Lo avevano succhiato e buttato come un guscio vuoto. I suoi nemici avevano fatto quadrato contro di lui, lo avevano portato alla rovina.
Beati i miti, beati i puri di cuore. Poveri cristiani talmente illusi che ti vien voglia di ridergli in faccia. Porgere l'altra guancia? Ti bastonano."

Colui che soffre più di tutti le conseguenze dell'incidente è il padre di famiglia, Michael Mulvaney Sr., che tanto amava Marianne, che tanto amava la sua figlia perfetta, così tanto da non ritenersene degno. E chi permette più di tutti che avvenga la distruzione della famiglia? Sempre lui. Più ha amato, più ha perso. È giusto che le sofferenze umane siano così mal distribuite?

C'è invece chi vuole vendicarsi.
"Non abbiamo avuto giustizia legale. Non ci è stato possibile. Papà ha tentato e ha fallito. Perché il sistema della giustizia legale è solo un'istituzione sociale, ed è inadeguato come espressione della morale. Il modo di procedere della "giustizia legale" è rivolgersi a una terza parte che sta al di sopra di "vittima" e "colpevole" e delle rispettive famiglie, una parte sanzionata dal popolo. Dallo stato. È lo stato ad amministrare la giustizia. Ma cos'è lo stato? Solo un insieme di persone. Esemplari di Homo sapiens. E perché quegli esemplari dovrebbero stare al di sopra di altri? Perché dovremmo concedere a estranei un'autorità morale che va oltre la nostra? Ci ho riflettuto su molto, Judd. Non agisco in maniera impulsiva. Con una parte della mente vedo sempre Marianne, violentata, svilita, esiliata persino dalla sua stessa famiglia. Come fossimo una tribù primitiva, Cristo santo! Come se nostra sorella fosse diventata portatrice di un tabù! È ridicolo, è intollerabile. Io non lo tollererò. Non sono più cristiano però per Dio sono un protestante. Un ribelle. Farò la mia giustizia perché so cos'è."
E che dopo essersi vendicato deve trovare con ancora più fatica la strada che lo faccia riscoprire se stesso.
"Dopo che me ne sono andato, quella domenica di Pasqua, ricordi? Mi sono svuotato. Il veleno che avevo nel sangue è colato fuori. Come fossi stato malato, infetto, e non me ne fossi accorto finch il veleno è scomparso. Però non rimpiango nulla. Penso che la vendetta debba essere bella. I greci lo sapevano. Sangue chiama sangue. Il bisogno di ristabilire l'equilibrio.[...]"

Sono consapevole del fatto che questa non è una recensione lodevole, e che probabilmente nemmeno si è capito molto di quello che ho detto. Ho pianto perché ho trovato commovente il perdersi e ritrovarsi di fratelli e sorelle e genitori, dopo che avevano litigato, che si erano picchiati, che si erano odiati, dopo che la società li aveva costretti a trovare ognuno la propria strada, a caversela da soli senza la propria famiglia. Ho pianto perché è un libro tristissimo, più scorrono le pagine più diventa deprimente e pesa addosso come un cappotto che in inverno non tiene caldo. Manca il respiro girando le pagine di una storia così tetra eppure vera, così reale e onesta. Penso che la Oates abbia scritto uno dei miei romanzi preferiti.

April 17,2025
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n  
It's the way families are, sometimes. A thing goes wrong and no-one knows how to fix it and years pass and - no-one knows how to fix it.
n

** Spoilers below **

So, I've seen reviews which don't like this book because the parents don't act the way readers want, or expect them to: but y'know, that's precisely why I like JCO - she doesn't pander to society's myths about what idealised maternity or paternity should look like. As much as we might want our parents to be all-knowing and all-loving, the barest glimpse at any newspaper will, surely, undermine that ideal. Cruel things happen in families - sometimes deliberately, sometimes, as here, unintentionally.

A father faced with his own shaming powerlessness of which his innocent daughter becomes the unwitting living reminder, a mother torn between her spouse and her child... these are the building blocks of tragedy here. JCO doesn't blame, doesn't judge - we can, if we choose, but perhaps we get more out of the book by understanding emotional positions that we might not share. Is that not one of the reasons we read, to experience life through someone else's eyes?

When I started this book I thought it was going to be about one thing Marianne's rape and the aftermath and was slightly impatient that there was so much other stuff - until I realised that 'it' might be a catalyst but that really the focus of the book is the imperfect dynamics of the family itself, the way it tears itself apart before partially putting itself tentatively back together again. That 'were' in the title is both a past tense and a continuous present.
April 17,2025
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I love this book, for the same reason other people dislike it, and can't seem to finish it. I am surprised by all of the people who say that the father's reaction to the girl after she is raped "doesn't make sense". They don't seem to be aware that his reaction is typical of a man's reaction in such a situation, when a woman or girl he loves, and feels he should have been able to protect, has been violated by rape, she becomes a symbol to him of his failure as a man, to protect that which he most loves, and most holds sacred. He distances himself from her. Sometimes he actually physically abandons her, because he can't stand the pain he feels about it. When are people going to study human psychology for what it is, instead of trying to apply practical logic where it does not fit?
This is a realistic story of an otherwise happy family destroyed by violence against one of it's members. This is a common story that happens all the time. It's a story well told, it's just not a tale we like to hear. Heartbreaking.
April 17,2025
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Kuri tavo versija skambina mamai?

Kas tu be spintoj kabančių drabužių? Kas tu, kai vakare nusigramdai visas per dieną užsidėtas kaukes ir stoji į akistatą su savim? Koks tu, kai iš tikrųjų pyksti? Ką galvoji, kai veidrody stebi savo nuogumą? Kurios mintys yra tik tavo? Ar girdi save?

Ši knyga geniali. Būtų kvaila atpasakot turinį – anotaciją lengvai susirasit patys. Man norisi apie knygos poveikį pakalbėt.

Perskaičiau šią netrumpą – 600 puslapių – istoriją ir prisiminiau, kad tiek skirtingų karolinų yra, jog neverta skaičiuot. Ji gali prisitaikyti prie žmonių ir aplinkybių. Ji gali norėti patikti ir dėl to pamiršti save. Ji gali nusidainuoti, maivytis ir būt rimta.

Ji gali būti visokia, bet šeimoj ji nuoga. Gryna. Slapstykis nesislapstęs, namiškiai tave kiaurai permato. Galit domėtis skirtingais dalykais, net pasukti skirtingais keliais, bet tie žmonės visada žinos, kas tu esi iš tikrųjų. Kokia tavo šerdis. Pamatas.

Dabar tikrai prisiminsiu tris žodžius – Joyce Carol Oates. Jos parašyta istorija buvo apie mane. Kiek panašumų su savim ir savo šeima radau. Esu trečias vaikas šeimoj, dar turim mažylį, kuris jau seniai su barzda. Net neabejoju – ši knyga buvo apie mus ir daugelį kitų šeimų.

Man ši istorija buvo tarsi terapija. Tyra, tikra, nesumeluota. Tarsi pasivaikščiojimas prisiminimuose.
April 17,2025
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Neabejodama konstatuoju, jog Malveiniai viena puikiausių knygų skaitytų šiemet. Tikrai, nepabijokit nei knygos storio, nei kad šeimos drama bus telemundiška- čia toks gražus perlas, kad aš drąsiai ją rykiuoju šalia Bradbury „Pienių vyno“, Lee „Nežudyk strazdo giesmininko“ ar net Irvingo - bet kurio romano, papasakoto iš vaiko perspektyvos. Kodėl, kodėl gi taip drąsiai? Na tai jūs paskaitykit, kad ir šią ištrauką:
Patvoryje spietėsi saulėgrąžos, jau panarinusios apvytusias galveles, linguojančios vėjyje it girtos. Paukščiai išlesė sėklas joms iš veidų, tad stovėjo išdraskytos ir aklos, bet eidamas pro šalį vis tiek jaučiausi keistai - saulėgrąžos baisiai primena žmones!

Ir nors prilyginau dabar čia kitiems pasaulinio garso kūriniams, Oates tikrai nėra nei vieno jų plagiatas, nei vieno jų wanna be - iš tiesų, romanas, nors pradžioje man priminė minėtuosius kūrinius, vėliau įgavo savo stilių ir išraišką. Na bet sugrįžkim - jei mylit minėtų autorių braižą, jei esat šeimos istorijų mylėtojai, tai tuomet tik darkart tūkstantis - turit nepraleist Malveinių istorijos. O gal iš tiesų tai ne tik mėgstantiems šeimos istorijas. Šiaip, sakyčiau, knyga turėtų patikti ir platesniam skaitytojų ratui, nes juk būtent - ji apie šeimą, o šeimas (vienokias ar kitokias) turbūt, kad turime visi. Ir visos tos šeimos: mūsų, kaimynų, draugų, nepažįstamųjų turi savo kirmėlių, yra kažkuo keistos, kažkuo išskirtinės. Taip taip, net tosios, kurių fasadai blizga nudailintomis šypsenomis, švariomis mergyčių suknelėmis ir mandagiais berniukų poelgiais, gardžiais mamų pyragais, ir išlygintais tėčių marškiniais. Visos - turi savo skaudulių, ir savo spindulių. Todėl romane tikrai rasite kažką artimo ir sau asmeniškai. 

Gal romanas ir nešokiruos, netaps gyvenimo knyga, bet jis toks paprastas, artimas, paliečiantis, na toks - visapusiškai kokybiškas, kad tikrai vertas skaitytojo laiko.
April 17,2025
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I read this book probably 10 years ago, but it has stayed with me. That's because this book made me strongly feel quite a range of negative emotions. I finished this book on a plane, and I was so burnt up after reading it that I left it on my seat in a huff. (In fact this is the book I refer to in this review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...). I thought this book was way too long, especially the first few hundred pages. It took forever to get the story off the ground. It was painfully slow and depressing. And at the time I had NO ONE to talk with about it! So when one of my most wonderful GR friends chose this book for our group to read, I knew I would finally be able to share this experience with some of my best and most respected reading friends. I can't wait to see what they allll think about it! It's already getting some great discussion in the group. Even though I thoroughly disliked the book, I think it was a great choice for our group read. I knew it would stir the pot, and I love that! I just had to keep my big mouth shut until everyone started reading it (and I did!).

I do like JCO, but I feel that she is at her strongest as a short story/novella writer. I haven't read a long work by Oates that I've liked yet (and them was probably just as bad as this one). But her short stories are some of the best around and I'll continue to follow her career. But from now on I think I'll be sticking with the shorter works.
April 17,2025
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Be warned that just about everything in this review will give something away.

I would have given this four stars, but I just couldn't. I was too aware of Oates manipulating her poor characters, and I just couldn't believe the basic premise. There is a wonderful, close, warm family and the daughter, too-good-to-be-true Christian is brutally raped, but refuses to press charges. This is taking turn the other cheek a bit far, in my opinion. The rest of the book tells how that action--that supposedly "good" action, or nonaction--tore the family apart. The father was so guilt-stricken that he couldn't protect his family, that he eventually banished the girl. And the mother, because she loved her husband first, allowed the banishment. Now, somehow, I just can't follow the psychological logic behind all of this. It seemed more of a literary experiment to prove that it's not always good to be good. I also didn't buy that the father, once a shrewd businessman, would let his obsession with getting legal vengeance tear apart his life. It didn't seem likely to me. If he wasn't an obsessive compulsive before, why would he be one when his daughter was raped? It seemed more like an author manipulating her characters.

I did like several chapters very much. I thought the one chapter, late in the book, written from the now-derelict fathers point of view, was brilliant. And I liked how the family rose from the ashes once the rotten tooth of the father was out of the way. But as I said before, the whole of the book didn't make psychological sense to me. It didn't ring true.
April 17,2025
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This is serious literature. Oates writing is sharp as always and her point is easily understood.
Riffing off Tolstoy's quote, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Oates addendum is happy families are fragile and made to be unhappy in innumerable ways.

My problems with this novel are both in its form and its content.

Oates' point is simple and I don't disagree, but there's the rub. Why spend 450 pages draping this idea when I got it from just a few sentences?

Do I need the names of all the animals on the farm? The furniture oddities that Corinne collects? They shape of spring flowers? The deep description of one-page characters?

The response to this is something along the lines of,"this is Oates' very literary take on her core message." Fine, but it's a weak sauce bc her story is false. It is contrived. An example that has gone chasing a meaning. That in a nutshell is why I have little patience for all serious literature.

Why write a message of a novel and cloak it in fakery. Tell me a true story and let me draw what I may from the ambiguities and ambivalence the real world offers up. Don't spend time creating verisimilitude that for all its skill is just untrue.

Now to the critique of the contents: I simply don't buy the characters reactions to the event that precipitates the novel's playing out. Oates is trying to prove her point and she does not execute. I especially don't believe the father's downward spiral, nor the family's overall response to marianne.

Don't misunderstand, I believe there could be a family where the events might play out as Oates argues - but not this family, and not how she describes the characters.

Finally, the ending is wholly undeserved.
April 17,2025
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Alors la. J’ai pas les mots.
Je ne m’attendais à rien mais certainement pas à cette intensité la
Et cette fin, chapeau madame. Voilà comment conclure une telle histoire
April 17,2025
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Es un libro que transcurre lento,reflexivo.Su mérito mayor es que la familia Mulvaney no parece ser ficción, los personajes están tan bien hechos y son tan humanos que parece que los conocieras.
April 17,2025
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La storia della famiglia Mulvaney e la scrittura della Oates mi hanno catturato fin dall’inizio e non mi sono fermata!
Una famiglia americana che, devastata da un’evento, cerca in tutti i modi di tenersi unita..
Mi sono piaciuti tutti i personaggi, in tutte le loro sfaccettature.
April 17,2025
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I was just nearly through writing a review of this, and Goodreads crashed and I lost it! We Were a Review of We Were the Mulvaneys. :-(
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