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n The Art of Goodreadsn
1. Lotz says: The greatest books are the ones you never have to read, and the greatest words are the ones you never have to speak. Likewise, the greatest book reviews are the ones you never have to write.
2. There are five types of books: (1) Ones I have read. (2) Ones I have not read. (3-5) It's complicated.
3. To begin a book, find its weakest point. This is commonly the first page.
4. Do not turn the page too slowly, as you will make it greasy; do not turn it too quickly, as it might tear.
5. If a sentence is giving you trouble, make like you're going to skip over it, and then read it all at once really fast to take it by surprise!
6. If a sentence is particularly difficult, yell it at the top of your voice, trying to imitate the sound of the cock when the sun peaks over the distant mountains.
7. Do not let your teachers or professors know if you have actually read your assigned readings. Keep them in suspense. Then you can subject them to your will.
8. To impress the erudite girl, take well-known quotes and misattribute them, so that she can correct you. She will feel smart, and you will rush in for the kill!
9. If you can see the sun, you do not have the keenest vision. If you can hear the thunder, you do not have the keenest hearing. Likewise, if you get the most likes, you do not have the best review. I do.
10. Love is a battlefield, that's why I always wear camouflage on first dates.
11. You can apply the lessons of military tactics to any aspect of your life, as long as you don't mind going to prison.
12. Fun fact: If you read the English translation of The Art of War backwards, and in a Jamaican patois, it exactly reproduces the original Chinese.
13. If a word is giving you difficulty, you have two options: (1) use a dictionary, you dolt; (2) skip over it, because who has time in life for such things?
14. The Empire in Star Wars could totally have won if they had just used more spies.
15. The same goes for Sauron in The Lord of the Rings.
16. When running out of ideas for a book review, the wisest course of action is to stop.
17. The second wisest action is to keep going.
1. Lotz says: The greatest books are the ones you never have to read, and the greatest words are the ones you never have to speak. Likewise, the greatest book reviews are the ones you never have to write.
2. There are five types of books: (1) Ones I have read. (2) Ones I have not read. (3-5) It's complicated.
3. To begin a book, find its weakest point. This is commonly the first page.
4. Do not turn the page too slowly, as you will make it greasy; do not turn it too quickly, as it might tear.
5. If a sentence is giving you trouble, make like you're going to skip over it, and then read it all at once really fast to take it by surprise!
6. If a sentence is particularly difficult, yell it at the top of your voice, trying to imitate the sound of the cock when the sun peaks over the distant mountains.
7. Do not let your teachers or professors know if you have actually read your assigned readings. Keep them in suspense. Then you can subject them to your will.
8. To impress the erudite girl, take well-known quotes and misattribute them, so that she can correct you. She will feel smart, and you will rush in for the kill!
9. If you can see the sun, you do not have the keenest vision. If you can hear the thunder, you do not have the keenest hearing. Likewise, if you get the most likes, you do not have the best review. I do.
10. Love is a battlefield, that's why I always wear camouflage on first dates.
11. You can apply the lessons of military tactics to any aspect of your life, as long as you don't mind going to prison.
12. Fun fact: If you read the English translation of The Art of War backwards, and in a Jamaican patois, it exactly reproduces the original Chinese.
13. If a word is giving you difficulty, you have two options: (1) use a dictionary, you dolt; (2) skip over it, because who has time in life for such things?
14. The Empire in Star Wars could totally have won if they had just used more spies.
15. The same goes for Sauron in The Lord of the Rings.
16. When running out of ideas for a book review, the wisest course of action is to stop.
17. The second wisest action is to keep going.