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وهذه المبادئ الأربعة هي:
١- الفصل بين الناس وبين المشكلة
٢- الفصل بين منافع الناس ومواقفهم
٣- اقتراح بدائل أخرى وتوليديها
٤- التحكيم بوجهة طرف ثالثة (تحكيم موضوعي)ـ

وقد اطلق المؤلف على الإلتزام بهذه الخلطة اسم
Principled Negotiation

Having read ‘Never Split the Difference’, this read seemed a bit outdated. I had to read this book for a dispute resolution subject at University and whilst it provided some good examples, not all were super straight forward. I would definitely read Never Split the Difference over this book.

I read this for school

Fantastic book about the mechanics negotiating - without a lot of fluff and unecessary anecdotes. Kudos for that to the authors.

It goes right in the face of negotiating being a zero sum game, and gives different strategies on how to "make the cake bigger" - or maybe rather: How to add more delicious ingredients and toppings.

The book is well written and doesn't drone on about details. It might be a bit challenging to implement what you learn in the book in daily life, so you have to work a bit to relate to the negotiations in your own life.

The book will make it clear, that we negotiate everyday, and that it's a collaboration more than a battle - and and a useful skill everybody can develop.

I found it interesting, that it's actually a good thing, if both parties knows these tools and ways of thinking. That also goes against most peoples understanding of negotiating as something opposite forces do. Great book.

Great book about basics of negotiations. It's full of case studies and presents a basic framework for getting things done by focusing negotiators on the problem instead of one another. Highly recommended.

I rate these type of books by how much I get from it, what can I implement and how interesting it was.
While this is by no means a bad book - it would get 2⭐️if it was - I found it quite boring and not a lot of immediate take aways.

For this level of content you would need either to already have a lot of negotiation experience or to consume the content as a course with exercises and dare I say the dreaded word - role play!!

I also had an issue with the amount of times the word “should” was used. You should read it to see how many

John F Kennedy famously said in his 1961 Inaugural Address, "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." For most of us, negotiation is almost synonymous with fear. How do we move to a place of negotiating with confidence and peace? 'Getting to Yes' is as good a place to start that process as any I could imagine.

'Getting to Yes' was first published in 1981. In this, the third edition of this time tested book, the authors begin acknowledging the flattening of the workplace. If anything, flatter organizations make Fisher and Ury's work all the more important. It's not surprising then, that they note that "a generation ago, the term 'negotiation' also had an adversarial connotation. In contemplating a negotiation, the common question in people's minds was, 'Who is going to win and who is going to lose?'" Fisher and Ury suggest there is a better way in 'Getting to Yes' and then show you how to get there.

As a pastor, you might think that negotiation isn't a skill I have to use very often, but Fisher and Ury's book was not only helpful to me in my personal life (I'm currently negotiating a contract with a solar company and have over the past two years negotiated a home sale, a car purchase, a job contract, to name just a few). But our lives are filled with negotiation. Even in my role as a pastor, negotiation is a daily occurrence, from negotiating sermon series to recruiting people into ministry roles, to navigating ministry direction, to negotiating staff culture and church vision documents. Simply put, we all need Fisher and Ury's book.

In their clearly outlined book, they suggest that the most significant problem is that we bargain over positions. To transform our ability to successfully negotiate we must do the following four things:
1) Separate the people from the problem;
2) Focus on interests, not positions;
3) Invent options for mutual gain;
4) Insist on using objective criteria.

Some important insights along this journey include the ability to absorb criticism and not take it personally, to "face the problem, not the people," and to find compatible interests as you negotiate. Fisher and Ury recommend that you always try to uncover the methodology of how the other party created their offer and to work on principles and method they used to develop their offer. They also recommend always walking into a negotiation with a BATNA- best alternative to a negotiated agreement. If you don't have a plan B, then you can become tunnel-visioned in your negotiation. They also say that when we present an offer, our impulse is to defend our ideas, but we put ourselves in the best position if we"invite criticism" and advice.

Fisher and Ury then lead us through three frequent objections or roadblocks: what if they are more powerful? What if they won't play? Or what if they use dirty tricks? And then they conclude with a very practical section that negotiates ten frequently asked questions about applying their methods.

I was impressed not just with the combination of clarity and thoroughness from Fisher and Ury, I was also impressed by how ethically grounded 'Getting to Yes' was. One of their FAQs they respond to is "Should I be fair if I don't have to be?" Thy respond, "Sometimes you may have an opportunity to get more than you think would be fair. Should you take it. In our opinion, not without careful thought." They go on to explain that there is the potential for relational and spiritual/psychological fall-out.

Negotiation, unsurprisingly, also is most effective face to face. They shared interesting data from a study: "In a negotiation where only sellers knew what an item was worth, the results varied dramatically based on the mode of communication. In face-to-face interactions, only a small minority of sellers lied and took advantage. But in written interactions a third did and in phone negotiations more than half did. Meanwhile buyers were appropriately wary in written interactions, but generally trusting in face-to-face and phone negotiations, leading many telephone buyers to be seriously disadvantaged. Almost 60 percent of face-to-face interactions resulted in mutually beneficial agreements, while only 22 percent did in written interactions and 38 percent in telephone negotiations."

One of the most intense negotiations I've ever had to walk through was as a green pastor, purchasing land from the largest land owner in the county (maybe the state, depending on who was telling the story). He was wealthiest man I've ever negotiated with and, well past retirement age, appeared to still be in the game merely for the sport of it. We heard stories that he would counter with higher figures and cancel contracts just to toy with the buyer. This seller was the perfect fusion of the three biggest roadblocks: he was more powerful, wouldn't play, and used dirty tricks. I was grateful to have two much more skilled negotiators with me who clearly had imbibed the 'Getting to Yes' planning and watch them in action. The negotiation wasn't about beating this master, it was about establishing clear communication where we understood what would be a win for him (the price he wanted) while developing creative options that benefited us (partial financing, very flexible contract cancellation clauses). I'm grateful for the life tutorials that preceded Fisher and Ury's book and then the clear and practical presentation of those ideas in 'Getting to Yes.' I highly recommend the book.

It's interesting how we're naturally programmed to go on negotiations waiting for winning or losing. Therefore many people may avoid making decisions in life because they don't want to lose the matter or lose the relationship with the other person involved in the negotiation. This book is valuable not only for managers, lawyers, or other specialists who have to negotiate over professional substances. It's valuable to every common person who needs to agree in ordinary negotiations daily. It gives us simple but effective tools to reach better results on agreements by just changing the way you think about and how you position yourself in a negotiation. It's a really good book to give a try both on reading and putting the teaching into practice.

“Getting to Yes” is the benchmark by which all other books on negotiating should be judged. Authors Fisher, Patton and Ury have penned a book that has become a classic in its class as their negotiating principles have been used and quoted again and again the world over.

“Getting to Yes” is quite deceptive at first – it seems a little light weight as it is so easy to read. In fact one could read it from cover to cover in half a day quite easily. Yet, the four principles outlined in their negotiating method whilst simple in nature are comprehensive and effective. This is one of the first books on negotiating to break away from the “hard v’s soft” negotiating paradigm by introducing “principled” negotiating – ie. negotiating on the basis of both party’s needs, not positions. Fisher et al, also cover very well the “What if” situations where the other party maybe more powerful, uses dirty tricks or won’t play the game.

This book should be essential reading for everyone who has to negotiate with someone else over reaching a decision – and isn’t that all of us?

Basically obvious points that suggest that strategic action (unimpeded by irrational emotion or ego-based dynamics) is oftentimes closely aligned with common sense!

This is also such an American book, to assume that asking your counterparty to defer to objective and fair criteria is a viable and high-leverage strategy. Principled negotiation works best if your interests are satisfied by principled resolution -- this book is not for somebody looking to get more than their fair share! Negotiation, popularly conceived, is about forcing your counterparty to submit to an agreement which is advantageous to you. Negotiation as conceived in GtY is about finding ways to maximize total surplus resulting from a given agreement, without compromising your own share of the pie. This is pretty crazy! I'd bet that any culture in which the frameworks outlined in this book are popularly adopted/widely respected must outperform others on a relative basis.

It's like what the authors had mentioned in the book: the contents are nothing new and most people would already have known a thing or two about the strategies laid out in the book. Nonetheless, the book remains to be incredibly valuable for the general public as it establishes a solid strategical framework that we can refer to in a negotiation.

■ Negotiation is a means to mutually beneficial agreement
Negotiation is often viewed as zero-sum game, where one party is the winner and the other loser in the process. However, it is so not the case. Negotiation is just a means to an end -> a mutually beneficial agreement. Instead of a head-to-head bargaining, it is more useful to view negotiation as a side-by-side problem solving process.

■ Don't fixate on your positions early on!
While the foundational understanding on negotiation seems obvious when we are not in it, people tend to lose this vision when we are engaging in a negotiation. Throughout negotiations, people tend to engage in positional bargaining where each party "takes side, argues for it, and makes concessions until a compromise is reached."

But premature commitment to position does not do us any good: it locks us down to our side, impeding us from looking beyond for the underlying interests of each party and inhibiting our ability to think out of the box to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

■ principled negotiation
All negotiations happen on two levels,
- substance level: where we deal with what we are negotiating, e.g. salary, price, etc.
- procedural level: where we establish an accepted process for the substantive negotiation to happen.

Most of the time, the procedural level happens in the backdrop without our conscious control as we are not aware of its presence. For instance, how hard or soft are we bargaining are dependent on the 'flow' of the negotiation, our relationship with the other party affects the direction of negotiation, the power dynamics and psychological factors at play, etc.

Although it is usually not conscious, god knows how important a role it plays in negotiation processes. Getting to Yes introduces a methodological framework, which the authors termed as "principled negotiation" as a reference point where we can be more aware of and control the procedural level in negotiation processes.

The framework consists of 4 key elements which we are expected to work on:
- people: separate people from the problem. Instead of viewing them as the representative of other side, understand that they are human as well. Address their core concerns (autonomy, appreciation, affiliation, purpose and status).

- interest: Instead of locking down to positions, take our liberty to understand the underlying interests of both sides and communicate them effectively. Make sure that we negotiate on the same ground instead of fixating on the positions. Afterall, our positions are just a means to achieve the interests, not the other way round.

- options: Invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do. Remember, negotiation, for the most part, is a problem solving process to optimize for each other's underlying interests. Be open for the means that we can take as long as the ends are met.

- criteria: while the authors can't emphasize enough on mutual interests in negotiation, there always will be conflicting interests. In such cases, insisting to stick with some objective, external standard helps to provide legitimacy for our claims.

I read sections of this book for a class I took on diplomacy, and I figured I’d read the whole thing because now I owned the book and I finally got around to it this year. As is stated at one point in the book, most of this is just common sense laid out in detail. While I found that this is all stuff I already knew and do, there are many people in my life who have trouble dealing with conflicts and negotiations therein. I would recommend this to them a thousand times because the advice I give to them could all be found here and maybe then I wouldn’t have to repeat myself every time one of my friends is fighting with their friend/parent/significant other.