I was shocked to see that this was first written in 1991. Not only is it relevant today, it is a far more balanced and fair approach to negotiating. No sensationalism. Simply good advice about how to think and talk to others when trying to compromise.

This one was pretty technical. The authors really break down the thought process of having a principled negotiation instead of trying to negotiate either "soft" or "hard." They provide a variety of examples/case studies that emphasize the point. Not going to lie, this was a bit dry, but very good book if you want to read more about different leadership styles.

"Getting to Yes" breaks down key concepts from the authors such as "Don't Bargain Over Positions," "Separate the People from the Problem" and "Focus on Interests, Not Positions." Through each breakdown they go through and provide an example to emphasis their point. I thought this book at times was dry, but I like the constant reinforcement that they are trying to get to in which that every negotiation that you have with either a boss, a direct report, or peer, you can work to make sure that you are principled in your negotiations and don't need to start from a soft or hard position. I have a boss right now that all he does is try to argue his point with our whole team and never listens to a thing we say. That leads to resentment among the rest of us and also anger. It's frustrating to know that you are being ignored since the boss wants to do things his or her own way without taking into consideration other people. It didn't help in our case that he was totally wrong in his approach and we (the team) are paying for it now.

One of my favorite chapters though was "What if They Are More Powerful?" or Develop your BATNA-Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. And believe me I paid attention to this just because a deputy I work for likes to win. You can see him just thinking about his retort when other people are speaking. Drives me up the wall. This chapter though takes you through steps such as protecting yourself, the costs of knowing your bottom line, and knowing your BATNA.

Definitely recommend for a leadership course. And will say once again this is pretty dry.

After reading "Getting to Yes", I realized the "bottom line" to negotiation is not the most effective approach to get to what everyone wants and its not to see the negotiation game as a win/lose experience, but a way to develop relationships. Similar to playing frisbee and the relationship of marriage, there are scenarios that have no place for win/lose negotiations because ultimately they will all end with lose/lose results. Individuals should focus, "To be better, the process must, of course, produce good substantive results; winning on the merits may not be the only goal, but certainly losing is not the answer." Therefore, it is better to understand the interests of what underly negotiation requests. It's not enough to know the facts of what's being negotiated, because alternatives can not be generated. Knowing your BATNA will "probably raise your minimum". Asking questions to find out more about an individual(s) position/interest, is more productive to come to alternative results that leads to win/win results.

Pretty good

I'm getting generous with non-fiction writers. That's weird. I think textbooks are not appreciated enough. It is sort of a textbook. Very academic at its core. Again, thanks to the random stranger for buying it for me. It rarely so happens that you get good books when you work around books. Mostly, it's vampire romances that you have to politely refuse to. Anyway. It's anything but vampire romance. It actually added a bit of practical value to the disarray of thoughts I reckon at times. I find it funny and refreshing that they have terms dedicated to everyday insights we get through our modest experiences. But mostly I find it funny. Not a fan of business how-tos and don'ts, but hello, if you're something about high politics, I'll welcome you gladly. It's not about traditional high politics. It's too nice for that. It's ideal. I'm okay with ideal if it has even a tiny bit of tendency for practicality. It does.

I'm not big for structured reviews. I prefer personal ones. But I think a few takeaways always help those who live structured lives. Again, totally unnecessary.

1. Don't bargain over positions, it will take you away from the actual substance of talks and your real achievable goals/interests. Successively defending your positions will drain you out and make you feel like a loser if it's compromised to reach an agreement with the other party.

2. Moderation is the key to any dispute resolution mechanism (the book didn't say that, but I implied from its contents). And there's midway between soft and hard methods of negotiation called 'principled negotiation'. It is what the name suggests. Use a soft approach with people but stick to the agreed principles of the talks.

3. If a party doesn't play along on principled grounds, bring their 'tactics' to an open discussion. But don't criminalize them or portray them as liars. It'll destroy your chances to talk in the future. And talks always come around because you entered the negotiation process as you thought it was the best way out of that conflict.

4. Read it yourself. I read it through an international talks perspective, you might find the principled method applicable to everyday conflicts and interactions.

My only problem with the book:

Umm. It just gets too neo-liberal at times especially when the author uses examples from famous world disputes. 'Free-World' syndrome is real in the White world. But that's a separate debate we'll have some other day.

Yeah look quality information but just quite a lot of it. Not in the best frame of mind to be reading it.... 3 stars cheers Roger

This is a 3.5 for me. Why did I like Getting Past No better? I think it's because I've been told NO a lot more in my life. You want to join the varsity soccer team? No. You want us to hire you? No. You want affordable rent? No. There was a solid trend there for about 15 years.

There's plenty of applicable knowledge in Getting to Yes, but the authors even admit at the end of the book that you probably already knew it all: This is intended to be a framework to help you define and practice what you know.

It was useful to see different negotiating techniques outlined (hard, soft, and principled), as well as when to use them. I also like a lot of the general teachings around what you should focus on when negotiating:
- Separate people from the problem
- Focus on interests, not positions
- Invent options for mutual gain
- Insist on using objective criteria
- And as a last resort, have a BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)

There are some great general tips around these teachings (like understanding your opponent's BATNA). I probably would have rated this higher if I'd read it in high school...and I wish I had done so back then for a lot of reasons.

This book was recommended to me by about a dozen friends, colleagues, and professors before I finally decided to read it. Getting to Yes was a good mix between text book technique and anecdotal evidence in negotiations. It taught me to separate the people from the problem and to strive toward common interests to create a win-win relationship instead of playing a game of positioning for a win-lose scenario. I definitely recommend it to anyone who works for a living, anyone who pays rent or a mortgage, anyone who has a significant other or spouse, anyone with siblings, and the list goes on, basically everyone should read this book. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:



- Be soft on the people but hard on the issue at hand

- How you see the world depends on where you sit

- Understanding someone's point of view is not the same as agreeing with it

- An open mind is not the same thing as an empty one

- Silence is one of your best weapons... use it.

- If you want a horse to jump a fence, don't first raise the fence

- Be open to reason and closed to threats

- Never yield to pressure, yield only to reason

- Deal with people as human beings an djudge the problem based on its merits

- Conflict does not lay in objective reality but rather in people's heads

- The reason you negotiate is to produce something better than you could obtain without negotiating

- Negotiating Jujitsu (read the book to learn what this is, it's a great concept)

Maybe appropriate help for the person who has never really stopped to reflect on the efficacy of their current thinking or behavior when involved in conflict or negotiation. For readers who aren't starting from scratch when it comes to learning about mediation and negotiation, there are probably more nuanced and detailed instruction manuals out there.

I tried really hard to make it through this classic on negotiation, but I found I really just wasn't that interested. There is probably good info here to be had, but a combination of what came off, to me, as a droning style and a topical of only moderate interest combined for something I just couldn't finish.

Well written. Solid theories. Not surprising, but things I "knew all along" as they put it, but now explained a bit. Felt like a nicer version of a school textbook however, and kind of boring at times. Time well spent reading it though.

A great book on negotiating without hesitation, with respect, and with precision. It’s a refreshing read to sharpen the saw and learn new tactics. It’s a quick read, and I recommend giving it a chance.