This should be required reading for all book editors and literary agents. (There’s a reason almost every law school assigns this!) Moves us away from the arbitrary practice of negotiating on the basis of positions (I say a number, you say a number, rinse, repeat, until we settle arbitrarily somewhere in the middle; “winner” is the more stubborn party) and to negotiation on the basis of principle (objective standards, each party’s interests), resulting in fairer agreements reached efficiently that lead to mutual gain and improve (or at least don’t damage) the relationship between the two parties. Refreshing and very helpful!

This book is a very useful and detailed guide to negotiating for mutual gain. It’s a mix of theory, application, and examples. The advice is realistic; it says to be optimistic but aware of your limits. I’ve seen this book mentioned in magazines like Inc. and Entrepreneur, and a few business and sales books. I finally decided to read it when it was recommended on This Week in Web Design.

Main ideas
• Understand empathetically their point of view.
• Explain your interests and reasoning before presenting your proposal. Otherwise, they may not listen to your reasoning.
• Never yield to pressure; only to principle.
• Expand the pie, don’t simply divide it. Aim for mutual gain.
• Negotiate to strengthen the relationship, not strain it.

Separate the People from the Problem
• Don’t blame.
• Involve them in the decision-making process.
• Talk about both sides’ emotions.
• An apology defuses emotions, even if you don’t take personal responsibility for the situation.
• Describe how the problem affects you, rather than accusing them.
• Sit and act side-by-side, not face-to-face.

Focus on Interests, Not Positions
• Show that you understand their interests.
• Don’t argue about the past; decide on the future.

Invent Options for Mutual Gain
• Shrink the scope of a proposal to reduce perceived risk; offer a trial phase.
• Offers are usually more effective than threats.

Insist on Using Objective Criteria
• Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria. Ask “What’s your theory?” or “how did you arrive at that proposal?”
• Agree on standards before negotiating.
• Go to a third party if necessary.

Develop Your BATNA
• Your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) helps determine the minimally acceptable agreement, and will likely raise that minimum.

Negotiation Ninjitsu
• Invite criticism about your proposal; ask what they’d do in your situation.
• Use questions, not statements.
• Be silent after they give an unsatisfactory answer; they’ll feel compelled to re-answer.
• Say, “please correct me if I’m wrong” to appear open to correction.
• Express gratitude for what they’ve done so far. Say, “I appreciate what you’ve done.”
• It’s not a question of trust, it’s a question of principle.
• Give a credible reason for taking a break from negotiating, such as talking it over with another.

Taming the Hard Bargainer
• When someone uses their “hardhearted partner” as an excuse, first get their commitment in writing, then ask to speak to the partner.

Ten Questions People Ask
• Negotiating doesn’t require compromising your principles. Find a solution consistent with both sides’ principles.
• Propose your opening figure as a suggestion based on objective standards, not a firm position.
• The more you try for, the more you’re likely to get.

I read this book years and years ago and then, recently, I was helping to write an article on Asia literacy and how this is treated in the Australian media and one of the things that struck me was how much was written about how Australia would benefit economically from a booming Asia, but how little was written about how Asia might benefit from having a relationship with Australia. One of the things this book tells you over and over again is that to really negotiate you need to spend at least as much time thinking about ‘their’ position as you do thinking about ‘yours’. There is a lot of this that is really worthwhile. It is written as a kind of self-help book – and I mean that negatively, but it was a choice they made and so you have to accept that, in a sense. One of the best pieces of advice in this is that if you are going to negotiate ethically, you need to focus on ‘reasons’. That is, try to keep the discussion on why something is fair or what other people have done which can be used as a standard for negotiations.

Now, I found this book hard going this time. Mostly because I worked as a negotiator for a trade union full time for 8 years and as a senior delegate for 20 and this brought back far too many bad memories. And while I really do understand that the techniques discussed here are very useful, there actually are times when there are no objective measures by which to conduct negotiations. This is particularly true when you are trying to negotiate for ‘better’ conditions and wages. Then references to what has gone before and what is consistent with that simply tie the negotiations down and mean you can never expect any better - which is precisely why management seek to use that as a technique. At one of the last negotiations I was involved in the 'gold standard' that was offered was economists perception of the likely rate of inflation in 12 months to two years from the time of the negotiation. This was 2009 - immediately after virtually not a single economist had predicted the GFC. Finding 'gold standards' with this stuff sometimes can be a real challenge.

But, that said, you probably aren’t going to really be doing industrial negotiations, you are much more likely to be doing negotiations involving spouses or kids or your local mechanic. And the techniques used here for framing the negotiations and for teaching you ways to remain calm are really, really useful.

All the same, the self-help book style of this one is a bit hard to take. So this is basically some really good advice said in just about the worst way possible.

“Getting to Yes” is the benchmark by which all other books on negotiating should be judged. Authors Fisher, Patton and Ury have penned a book that has become a classic in its class as their negotiating principles have been used and quoted again and again the world over.

“Getting to Yes” is quite deceptive at first – it seems a little light weight as it is so easy to read. In fact one could read it from cover to cover in half a day quite easily. Yet, the four principles outlined in their negotiating method whilst simple in nature are comprehensive and effective. This is one of the first books on negotiating to break away from the “hard v’s soft” negotiating paradigm by introducing “principled” negotiating – ie. negotiating on the basis of both party’s needs, not positions. Fisher et al, also cover very well the “What if” situations where the other party maybe more powerful, uses dirty tricks or won’t play the game.

This book should be essential reading for everyone who has to negotiate with someone else over reaching a decision – and isn’t that all of us?

This book was recommended to me by about a dozen friends, colleagues, and professors before I finally decided to read it. Getting to Yes was a good mix between text book technique and anecdotal evidence in negotiations. It taught me to separate the people from the problem and to strive toward common interests to create a win-win relationship instead of playing a game of positioning for a win-lose scenario. I definitely recommend it to anyone who works for a living, anyone who pays rent or a mortgage, anyone who has a significant other or spouse, anyone with siblings, and the list goes on, basically everyone should read this book. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:



- Be soft on the people but hard on the issue at hand

- How you see the world depends on where you sit

- Understanding someone's point of view is not the same as agreeing with it

- An open mind is not the same thing as an empty one

- Silence is one of your best weapons... use it.

- If you want a horse to jump a fence, don't first raise the fence

- Be open to reason and closed to threats

- Never yield to pressure, yield only to reason

- Deal with people as human beings an djudge the problem based on its merits

- Conflict does not lay in objective reality but rather in people's heads

- The reason you negotiate is to produce something better than you could obtain without negotiating

- Negotiating Jujitsu (read the book to learn what this is, it's a great concept)

الحصول على الموافقة: التفاوض للوصول إلى اتفاق دون استسلام
روجر فيشر و ويليام يوري

من قال أن الكتاب يجب أن يقدم جديداً كي يكون جيداً؟ نعم، الكتاب نفسه يعترف بأن القارئ قد تكون لديه معرفة مسبقة بما يقدمه. أُضيف بأن القارئ الناضج صاحب التجربة في الحياة الاجتماعية والمهنية سيكون قد توصل إلى قدر كبير من المعلومات الواردة، وهذه ليست مشكلة. على العكس، فالنص يساعدك على بلورة أفكارك، تشذيبها وتطويرها بطريقة ممتازة.

ينصح الكتاب بالتفريق بين الناس والقضية. فالبشر لديهم عواطف وأهداف، وقد يخونهم التعبير وقد يحتاجون أحيانا إلى التنفيس عن غضبهم. يجب أن تتفهم الشخص الذي تتفاوض معه، تضعه نفسك مكانه، تحاول أن تكون مرناً، تعامله باحترام، وذلك بصرف النظر عن موضوع المفاوضات.

يجب البحث عن الأهداف الفعلية وراء طلبات الأشخاص، فقد يصرّون على شيء مادي لكنهم أساساً يبحثون عن معنى غير ملموس مثل الاحترام أو الاستقرار أو الشعور بالأمان. كما يجب البحث عن المصالح المشتركة بين أطراف المفاوضات بدلاً من الصدام دون مغزى والدوران حول النقاط المعقدة.

من الأهمية بمكان اعتماد معايير معينة لحل المشكلة. مثلاً، يمكن اعتماد سعر السوق، القانون الدولي، المقاييس المتعارف عليها في مجال معين...إلخ. هذا يجعل موقفك أفضل في المفاوضات بدلاً من الرفض أو الإصرار دون مرجعية. بالإضافة إلى ذلك، عليك استكشاف حلول جديدة، نقاط التقاء غير مطروحة لكنها قد تكون حلاً للمشكلة برمّتها.

تجنب الشخصنة والاتهامات، اطرح الأسئلة وناقش الإجابات. وحتى لو قوبلت بأسلوب مزعج، لا تتأثر به وواصل التفاوض للوصول إلى مبتغاك. يّذكر النص بأنه يجب عليك "التمييز بين الطريقة التي تعامل بها الآخرين عن طريقة تعاملهم معك. ليست هناك حاجة لتقليد أسلوبهم السلبي. صحيح أن ذلك قد يوصل رسالة، لكنها قد تكون غالباً رسالةً غير اتي نود إيصالها. ففي أغلب الأحيان تُشجع المعاملة بالمثل السلوك الذي يغيظنا. إذ أن الطرف الآخر سيشعر بأن هذه هي الطريقة التي يتصرف بها الجميع...استخدم العقلانية لمواجهة التصرفات اللاعقلانية...إذا كان هناك مستشفى للأمراض عقلية، فلن نتمنى بأن يكون الأطباء فيه مختلون عقلياً".

قبل ذلك كله، يتحتم عليك البحث جيداً عن موضوع التفاوض وجمع ما يكفي من المعلومات المتعلقة به. هذا ويجب عليك حصر خياراتك الأفضل في حال فشل المفاوضات. كل ذلك من شأنه تقوية موقفك في الحوار.

الكتاب جيد ويستشهد بأمثلة متعددة. يشوب النص بعض التكرار كما هو متوقع من مثل هذا النوع من الكتب. لكنه – كله على بعضه- لا يتجاوز المائتي صفحة. لذا إذا كنت مهتماً، فأقبل عليه، وإن لم تكن، فهذه المراجعة تكفيك.

After reading "Getting to Yes", I realized the "bottom line" to negotiation is not the most effective approach to get to what everyone wants and its not to see the negotiation game as a win/lose experience, but a way to develop relationships. Similar to playing frisbee and the relationship of marriage, there are scenarios that have no place for win/lose negotiations because ultimately they will all end with lose/lose results. Individuals should focus, "To be better, the process must, of course, produce good substantive results; winning on the merits may not be the only goal, but certainly losing is not the answer." Therefore, it is better to understand the interests of what underly negotiation requests. It's not enough to know the facts of what's being negotiated, because alternatives can not be generated. Knowing your BATNA will "probably raise your minimum". Asking questions to find out more about an individual(s) position/interest, is more productive to come to alternative results that leads to win/win results.

I attended a class on International Negotiations at the Foreign Service Institute this week and we were assigned this book to read for the class. I thought the book was rather straightforward and I liked the anecdotes. Overall, I think it was a good selection for our class and helped to emphasize the points being taught. I doubt I will become a master negotiator, but I do see benefits from this book and class in my personal life.

Some of the lessons I learned in class include the following:

"People won't let you change their mind unless they trust you." Thomas Colosi

"Treat every meeting as a negotiation." Thomas Colosi

"People who only use the formal negotiation process will not often be very successful." Thomas Colosi

"First rule of negotiating: Be nice." Carmen Suro-Bredie

interesting quotes from the book:

"A generation ago, the term 'negotiation' also had an adversarial conotation. In contemplating a negotiation, the common question in people's minds was 'Who is going to win and who is going to lose?' To reach an agreement someone had to 'give in.' It was not a pleasant prospect. The idea that both sides could benefit, that both could 'win,' was foreign to many of us. Now it is increasingly recognized that there are cooperative ways of negotiating over differences and that even if a 'win-win' solution cannot be found, a wise agreement can still often be reached that is better for both sides than the alternative." (p. xii)

"In a negotiation, particularly in a bitter dispute, feelings may be more important than talk." (p. 31)

"An apology may be one of the least costly and most rewarding investments you can make." (p. 35)

"No matter how many people are involved in a negotiation, important decisions are typically made when no more than two people are in the room." (p. 38)

"If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later." (p. 54)

"Few things facilitate a decision as much as precedent." (p. 80)

"In short, the approach is commit yourself to reaching a solution based on principle, not pressure. Concentrate on the merits of the problem, not the mettle of the parties. Be open to reason, but closed to threats." (p. 84)

"Some of the most effective negotiating you will ever do is when you are not talking." (p. 114)

"Some parties locked into adversarial ruts seem unable to consider alternative approaches until they reach the brink of mutual annihilation, and some not even then." (p. 155)

"Before you even begin to negotiate, it makes sense to envision what a successful agreement might look like." (p. 175)

Eye-opening. Now, how do I rewrite all of my bad habits to take advantage of the knowledge in this book...?

Could help provide a foundation for the upcoming website redesign discussions.

Favorite Tips

Separate the people from the problem.
Focus on interests, not positions.
Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do.
Insist that the result be based on some objective standard.

Where perceptions are inaccurate, you can look for ways to educate. If emotions run high, you can find ways for each person involved to let off steam. Where misunderstanding exists, you can work to improve communication.

But even if blaming is justified, it is usually counterproductive.
Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their perceptions.
Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process.
Make emotions explicit and acknowledge them as legitimate.
Allow the other side to let off steam.
Be specific. Concrete details not only make your description [of the problem] credible, they add impact.

[At this point, I got lazy and stopped reading. But I really should come back to finish at some point.]

Lectura de gran utilidad para todas esas personas que son o quieren despertar su consciencia respecto la importancia del arte de negociar.
Aunque el libro fue escrito hace bastantes años las técnicas, conocimientos y ejemplos que comenta son totalmente validos en la actualidad.
Es un libro que además de leerlo con mucha atención lo mejor es estudiar y profundizar más con algunes de sus partes.

I tried really hard to make it through this classic on negotiation, but I found I really just wasn't that interested. There is probably good info here to be had, but a combination of what came off, to me, as a droning style and a topical of only moderate interest combined for something I just couldn't finish.

very concise and easy to read. incredible source for how to negotiate effectively in any scenario.