Non so bene che giudizio dare a questo manuale. È innegabile che le situazioni tipiche e le dinamiche di coppia (esclusivamente eterosessuale e cisgender...) descritte siano reali per tantissime persone: io stessa ho trovato numerose corrispondenze con le mie relazioni sentimentali passate e presenti. Inoltre il metodo di lavoro e i consigli di comportamento proposti di base mi sono piaciuti. Però non posso fare a meno di ricordare che le tesi della psicologia divulgativa che vuole insegnare che le donne e gli uomini sono naturalmente opposti nel loro modo di pensare e di comunicare, nelle loro emozioni e nelle loro capacità – di cui la produzione di Gray è un esempio esemplare - non sono in verità supportate da alcuna prova scientifica nel campo della biologia, dell'evoluzione umana, delle neuroscienze o dell'antropologia.
Oltretutto nel libro, come il proverbiale elefante nella stanza, viene ignorata la questione cardine dei problemi nel rapporto fra "maschile" e "femminile": il patriarcato in cui viviamo immers* e che condiziona gran parte degli aspetti delle nostre vite quotidiane, anche quelli apparentemente insignificanti. Sarebbe allora utile allargare la messa a fuoco e discutere delle difficoltà, delle diversità e delle diseguaglianze riscontrate fra donne e uomini non come insoddisfazioni intime all'interno delle singole coppie, ma in quanto ingiustizie radicate nei modelli culturali ed educativi in intere società.
Le virgolette e l'asterisco egualitario nella frase precendete servono a sottolineare che anche le stesse definizioni e stereotipizzazioni di genere e di ruolo trattate sono urgentemente e completamente da rivedere.

Due stelle a questo testo mediocre solo perché mi ha alimentato tante serie riflessioni, dubbi e bisogno di approfondimento.

اگه ۶-۷ سال پیش این کتابو میخوندم احتمالا میگفتم: wow عجب کتابیه!
ولی الان حس میکنم خیلی از حرفاش کلیشه ای و بدون مستندات هست . دلیلم هم اینه که در مورد ذات و شخصیت آدما هیچ وقت نمی تونم مطلق گرا باشم و بگم همه ی مردا این شکلین، همه زن ها این شکلی.شخصیت آدما نسبی و بسته به خیلی فاکتور ها هست که نمیشه به این راحتی راجع بهشون حکم کرد.
اما در کل کتابی بود که خوندنش ضرری نداره.

I just read about 10- 20 frist pages. then I couldn't continue it. I mean how cheap!!! I can not understand this way of writing! but mybe something is wrong with me. lots of my friends read it and suggest me too do so... Sorry

This book is such crap -it includes justifications for date rape and recommends that the woman just "let her husband do it" even when she's not into it. His argument being how long is a quickie anyway. Put out to get along is this marriage counselor's advice. Without the slightest concern to the impact this may have on her libido, boundaries, or esteem for the man who doesn't care if she's into it as long as he gets some.
FUCK are you serious? The layers of hostility that John Gray has to women are out-fucking-rageous and the not so thinly veiled criticism of his own past relationships and "marriages" that he thinks might have been salvaged if the bitches er venusians had been more sexually generous.

This is right up there in the list of crap sex/relationship books whom I condemn the authors to be beaten to death with every copy they ever sold. As bad as "everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask" author (rubens?) who said "one vagina plus one vagina equals nothing". Clearly both these men need to rent a porn video and buy a clue. Women do enjoy sex. Just probably not with you, dude. Go figure.

What I initially thought about this book :
That it would be a fun,entertaining read with lots of funny stuffs about men and women (judging from the bright green cover & the guy-girl cartoon on it

I always thought human beings were individual people with individual likes and dislikes that do not relate to their genitals.
Apparently I am wrong. Men and women are actually from different planets! We're alien species! Sure we can have babies together, but we are totally different. Women like to shop because they come from a planet full of shopping centers.
Men like to fix things and play sports because that's all they did on their planet.
Now if we would just remember that we are two different alien species, we can get along! Women must accept that men need to hide in their caves. Men need to accept that women need to talk about everything and don't actually want solutions. Women must accept that men will not ask for directions and not make them feel less manly. Men need to accept that women want to buy a lot of shoes.

I hate these sort of books. Does it occure to people to actually TALK to their mate? To get to know them as an individual and not a series of stereotypes? Notice that most of these sort of books state that men are the way they are and you just have to deal with it. Men can't change, women! Their penises and testosterone prevent that! It's ridiculous! People are all DIFFERENT!
Some women don't like buying shoes that bend their feet in weird ways! Some men *Gasp* hate sports!
Also, I think this writer was divorced several times and doesn't have a real PhD, so why LISTEN TO HIM?!

Also, as an introvert I NEED A CAVE! I need somewhere where I can relax, recharge and have peace and quiet after dealing with... SOCIETY.
Why do just men get to have caves?

كتاب مؤثر اكيد بس على قد مافهمت منه طبيعه الرجل ازاى وازاى المرأة تقدر تتعامل معاه على ماقد احباطى مازاد بعد ماقريته :D
حسيت ان مشاعرنا دى تافهه وان مهما اتكلمنا عن مشاعرنا الراجل عمره ماهيفهم الاحساس اللى جوانا
الرجل شويه بيشغله الواقع الملموس اكتر من المشاعر

This is a decent book, with some decent advice. I think a lot of the other reviewers would probably have enjoyed it more if they hadn't felt "I can't believe the author thinks all women/men are like X, I'm not like that at all!" There's no reason to feel that way (sorry if you're a woman, btw, since men aren't supposed to say why you shouldn't feel a certain way), because the author mentions several times that the things he say about one sex can just as easily apply to the other sex, or that it might not apply to you at all, regardless of your gender. For example, unlike the Martians of this book I'm able to understand that "Could you take out the trash?" is a request to take out the trash instead of a literal question about my ability to do so, but I didn't need to feel offended since that part didn't apply to me, it wasn't about *me*. If shopping isn't something you want to do to give your boyfriend/girlfriend some alone time, don't get upset, because it's not about *shopping*, it's about doing something by yourself and trusting your significant other. It's obviously written from a perspective of traditional relationships with stereotypical men and women in them to more easily make the points he wants, and that's fine. Anyway, the book is very easy, light reading, and it has some good things to say. It's more than 20 years old by now though, so you're probably better off getting a more recent book which would have refined the advice given here.

This is not psychology. This is not even close to be science. I had to read this horrible book in the past (my partner liked it) and I kept thinking to myself that a lot of the stuff in the book was just too convenient, too stereotypical, to easy. Doing a little research found that the school that gave th author his Ph.D. was done away with and that several states (California, Oregon...) will not recognize the titles that the "school" gave out.

I don't like bashing people on ideas, but I hate to see people write as though they are scientists or psychologists when they are not. It does harm to the fiel of psychology and breeds distrust for the field among the general public. This book does more harm than good. There are ample books out there based on mountains of research about the real and not real differences (and amazing similarities) between men and women, as well as those who are in different gender categories than the binary system perpetuated by poorly written material such as this.

Terrible book and dishonest in its approach to try to come across as psychology. If I could give negative stars I would.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and John Gray is from far, far further out in the solar system...

My broad-stroke perspective on this book is that I am inherently skeptical when someone purports to reduce human behavior to simplistic, read-about-it-on-the-subway categories, gender-specific behavior in particular. Resorting to simple explanations for that which is scary -- and I think it's safe to say that romantic partnerships can be scary, because vulnerability is involved, after all -- is tempting, but doesn't necessarily make you a better partner, or person. In fact, it can achieve the opposite.

As for Mr. Gray, my take is that he is one of many who has found that he can profit from the human inclination toward over-simplifying the dynamic, hence his series of tripe-laden tomes.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
الكتاب يستحق خمس نجمات لولا التكرار والإسهاب الذي كان من الممكن اختصاره وأن يصلنا المحتوى في صفحات أقل كثيرا من عدد صفحات الكتاب ..

لماذا يستحق خمس نجمات ؟
-لأنني أؤيد وأحب كل محتوى يدعو للتصارح والانفتاح مع الطرف الآخر والبوح الصادق البناء ،والاحترام المتبادل للأوقات التي يحتاج كل طرف فيها إلى الصمت والانعزال..

-أحببت كذلك دعوته للكتابة كوسيلة علاجية للمشاعر السلبية
ومحاولة فهم ما نشعر به وتبسيطه أو للتعبير عن الاستياء أو استخدام الرسائل لإيصال مشاعر معينة للطرف الآخر ،دومًا يجذبني كل ما يدعو لأهمية الكتابة وتأثيرها الإيجابي .
ربما لم أحب أمثلته الكثيرة ووضعها فيما يشبه الجدول لكن يبدو أنها كانت محاولات للتأكيد على المعنى وتثبيته ..

استفدت منه كثيرًا ،استفدت من تفسيره لاختلافات احتياجات المرأة عن الرجل ،يقول :" والعلاقة تصبح أكثر سهولة إذا فهمنا حاجات شريكنا الأولية" ،وأن التفاني في البذل دون مقابل ليس أمرًا جيدًا ولا ضروريًا لاستمرار العلاقة بنجاح بأن يتفانى طرف ويحمل الأعباء وحده بينما الطرف الآخر غير مبالٍ أو يبذل أقل وتحدث عن طريقة إصلاح وضع شائع كهذا ..

غالبا عندما تشرع في قراءة هذا الكتاب ستبدأ بإسقاط الأمثلة على أقرب مثال حولك ،وعلى حسب واقعية المحتوى بالنسبة لحياتك إما سيعجبك جدًا أو لن يعجبك جدًا ، بالنسبة لي كان واقعيًا؛ ولهذا أعجبني وأنصح به :)

⚠️ أنصح بقراءة الكتاب بلغته الأصلية ،فالترجمة حرفية إلى حد كبير وجعلتني أندم أنني منذ البداية لم أقرأ نسخته الإنجليزية واخترت المترجمة

“Because she is afraid of not being supported, she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus




It is fun to read. B ut I was not all that impressed.

When I was younger, I read this types of books way more then I do now. I did a reread of this one not that long ago and did not like it near as much.

Some things maybe true in here..I liked the rubber band analogy..but some things were sexist seeming and seemed to put all the responsibility for everything on the woman. I have noticed that with these types of books.

Don't get me wrong. This book is nowhere as bad as "The Rules". (I read that as a joke). But I did not agree with much of it and thought that many assumptions were made.

I appreciated the use of real human examples but the book seems to generalize alot and all these do's and don'ts and letting the guy feel like the pursuer..it bothers me.

I feel that is buying into stereotype in many ways and also making the female be something that she may not actually be. Isn't being an imposter or lying or down playing who you are worse then letting your best self shine through? And is the woman really going to want to be with a guy who will not let her ever take the lead? I feel as if once again the female is pushed into this space of being somewhere between a pretty sweet young thing and a Stepford wife.

I do not think that is the author's intention. He comes across as sincere. But I feel he makes to many allowances for the male. I do not get why the female has to let herself be "conquered". I have also found that most of these types of relationships..where each party is playing a role..do not last anyway.

I feel a strong and confident male would not NEED to always have to take the lead. I do not feel in this age and time, where women have come so far, that there really needs to be a playing into a fantasy of what men want versus who we actually are. I am aware this book is older and sure, some things have changed but books like this bother me greatly.

OK..I will stop rambling now. I still give it a two because it keeps you involved. But I disagree with much of it.