There is no light here at all! No light anywhere, from any direction! An absolute darkness, as cold as ice creeping through it, a darkness where he is alone - for they are never here, no soul here, no other humans, only the dead!
The dead! He is surrounded by the dead.
Everywhere, in every direction, in every corridor and hall, wherever he turns.
He sees, but where does he go? He doesn't know any way to take to get out again, to get out of here, from the kingdom of the dead...
The kingdom of the dead!... He was in the kingdom of the dead... He had applied it in the kingdom of the dead!
Filled with fear. A deep fear. Suddenly he moved, without guidance, in a frenzy, in any direction, feeling the invisible steps, in one corridor after another, trying to find a way out, a way out of the kingdom of the dead... He continued to grope in the void, there, helpless, desperate, asking his soul... Finally, he was walking hunched over through the corridors, clinging to the walls, the walls of death, which he would never get out of...
Finally, he felt a current of warm air rising from the ground, from the other world... He shook himself, half-awake, on the slippery floor, and climbed to be between the columns.
There he stretched out on the ground, rested, and raised his gaze to the dome of the dark sky.
Darkness everywhere. The sky as on the ground. Everywhere...
When Barabas walked the road back to the city, through the Via Appia at night, he felt a great loneliness. And this feeling was not because no one walked beside him or passed by him, but because he was alone in an endless night that falls on the ground on Fridays, alone in the heavens and the earth, alone between the living and the dead. It had always been like this, but he had only realized it now. He walked in the darkness as if he were buried, he walked there with the sadness on his distorted face, the sadness that was a trace of his father's blow. And in his suppressed chest hair, a coin of the slave was dangling and the name of God had been scratched from it. Yes, he was alone in the heavens and the earth.
He had drowned in himself, in his own kingdom of death. How could he get out? Only once, only once, he had united with another, but that was with an iron chain, and only. With nothing, only with an iron chain.
He heard his step fall on a rock on the road. Other than that, the silence was absolute, as if no one else existed in the whole world. From all sides, the darkness surrounded him. No light. No light anywhere. No stars in the sky, and everything was wild, a grave.
He breathed heavily, and the air was hot and dry. As if he was suffocating - or was he the one who was suffocating, the sick one, who had been struck by the plague of death down there? Death! It had always been inside him. It had always been inside him as long as he was alive. Death stalked him inside himself, in the dark recesses of his mind, and filled him with fear. And although he was old now and had no desire to live any longer, it still filled him with fear, too. Although he had wanted more... He had only wanted... No. No. No to die! No to die!
Is there a better quote expressing the horror of solitude, the loss of meaning, and the need for belonging and clinging to something more than this?
One of the novels that allows you, in just a few pages, to reflect on the weakness of man, especially the unfortunate and the unlucky... and gives it meaning...