This is truly one of the worst self-help books I've ever had the misfortune to read. When it comes to being a "book on Buddhism", if I wasn't already well-versed in Buddhism, I would have thought that "this is just another book that speaks in generalities and never delves deep into truly explaining Buddhism."

Generally speaking, I'm a huge fan of Pema Chödrön. The Pocket Pema Chodron has a special place on my nightstand and is worn out from years of being read.

If I didn't reserve 1-star ratings for only those books that I truly despise, I would definitely rate this one as a 1.

Gah! I bought this book on sale, thinking that I'd need it "someday". Then, in the midst of my grief over the loss of a loved one, this book came to my mind and I went to my bookshelf.

Unfortunately, this book offers almost nothing that is actionable (aside from the rather simplistic "change your mindset!"). And don't even get me started on that. There are no illustrative examples or stories from her life to show how she applied or used some of the reference points. This is especially problematic for me because the first few pages set this up as a memoir. Memoirs should have personal stories that flesh out the points being made.

The points she makes are just general and vague references to Buddhism. It's the kind of book that would likely leave most people even more confused about the practices, concepts, and beliefs surrounding Buddhism.

If you're simply looking for a book that says "change your perspective" in 100,000 different ways, then this book might be suitable for you. However, if you're seeking a book that can offer real guidance, comfort, or practical experiences on how to navigate through difficult times, then you should look elsewhere.

Please provide the article that needs to be rewritten and expanded so that I can help you.

Buddhism is just so not my jam.

It seems to be a complex and mysterious realm that is completely beyond my comprehension.

The teachings, the practices, and the philosophy within Buddhism all feel like a foreign language to me.

I simply don't understand the deep meanings and concepts that it tries to convey.

Maybe it's because I come from a different cultural background or have different beliefs and values.

But whatever the reason, Buddhism remains an enigma to me, and I find it difficult to engage with or appreciate.

However, I respect the fact that many people find great peace, wisdom, and inspiration in Buddhism, and I am open to learning more about it in the future.

Who knows, maybe one day I will have a breakthrough and start to understand this ancient and profound religion.

Don't worry, I'm not currently going through "difficult times." However, despite the title of this book, it offered a great deal of valuable insights for lives that aren't falling apart as well. I was less engaged in some of her discussions on meditation, so I skimmed through those parts.

This is where the review concludes and my shamefully public journaling commences.

One of the concepts that I desire to remember, perhaps even get tattooed, is the idea of life situations being like sand castles. Chodron elaborates on how we might invest a significant amount of time and pride into something - a job, a relationship, a sense of security - yet, just like a sand castle, the tide will ultimately come in and demolish it. This doesn't imply that we shouldn't spend time constructing the sand castles; rather, we should accept their impermanence.

Another aspect of the book that I found beneficial was her discussion on compassion and generosity. I interact with the public at work, which is usually fine to good, but occasionally I encounter people who externalize their issues. I placed a post-it at work with the attitudes "kindness, humor, and good-heartedness," hoping it will better equip me to deal with the crazies.

I also appreciated her remarks about disappointment: "When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may be just the beginning of a great adventure." I feel that everything good in my life at present - my opportunities and relationships - wouldn't have occurred if other doors hadn't closed. And I'm aware that these good things in my life will come to an end someday, and that will be a good thing even if it's painful.

Finally, here are some quotes:

"We cannot be in the present and run our storylines at the same time."

"When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly, too."

"Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."

"But the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart."

"The spiritual journey is not about heaven and finally getting to a place that's really swell. In fact, that... is what keeps us miserable."

"Right now - in that very instant of groundlessness - is the seed of taking care of those who need our care and of discovering our goodness."

"Instinctively I knew that annihilation of my old dependent, clinging self was the only way to go."

"Rather than realize it takes death for there to be birth, we just fight against the fear of death."

"We can learn to meet whatever arises with curiosity and not make it such a big deal."

This Buddhist meditation primer is truly very accessible.

Even though it was written way back in 1997, it still manages to feel modern.

Well, when we look at it through the lens of Buddhism, that is indeed quite modern.

The primer likely presents the teachings and practices of Buddhist meditation in a way that is easy to understand and apply, regardless of the year it was published.

It may offer insights and techniques that are relevant and useful for people in today's fast-paced and constantly changing world.

Perhaps it helps readers to find inner peace, reduce stress, and gain a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them.

Overall, this primer seems to be a valuable resource for anyone interested in exploring the world of Buddhist meditation.

Pema Chödrön is indeed one of my most cherished spiritual authors. This is, as I recall, the third book of hers that I have delved into.

Let me start by mentioning a couple of "negative" aspects. Firstly, there is no index in her books, including this one. Secondly, there are no definitions of her special Tibetan (?) terms. While some of these terms we might be familiar with beforehand, often I, for one, am not. Sometimes she does offer explanations, but I tend to forget what she said, highlighting the need for an index.

One such term is "dathun", and another is "dharma" (I really should know what that means).

Pema is an American Buddhist who resides in a Tibetan monastery in Nova Scotia. She is a student of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, and I am determined to get my hands on his books as well.

I have a deep affection for her teachings, although I cannot claim to always fully understand them. At times, her writing can be a bit vague and metaphorical. For instance, what does she truly mean by "the groundlessness of our situation"?

I was fortunate to obtain this book from the library just before it closed, seemingly for an indefinite period.

In the author's introduction, she quotes her teacher as saying "Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news", and this appears to be one of the central tenets of her teachings. (So, in these current Corona days, we can truly benefit from her books - we can draw strength from the uncertainties of this time.)

Pema shares with us her own problems and how she learned from them.

When she first became the director of Gampo Abbey, it felt like being boiled alive. Everything seemed to fall apart. All her unfinished business "was exposed vividly and accurately in living Technicolor, not only to myself, but to everyone else as well".

Things come together and then they fall apart, only to come together again and fall apart once more. "The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen, room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

"Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly."

The first noble truth of the Buddha points out that suffering is inevitable.

Pema's entire reality crumbled when her husband told her he was having an affair and wanted a divorce. Paradoxically, this event saved her life. The annihilation of her old, dependent, clinging self was the only way forward.

To stay with shakiness, a broken heart, a feeling of hopelessness, is the path of true awakening. "Getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos... is the spiritual path."

In meditation, we begin to see what is happening. We simply be with our experience, whatever it may be. We "lean toward the discomfort of life" and see it clearly rather than shield ourselves from it.

The very moment is the perfect teacher, and it is with us wherever we are.

Chögyam Rinpoche taught that in meditation, we should "put very light attention on the out-breath."

The out-breath is the object of meditation. Rinpoche advises "Touch the out-breath and let it go."

When thoughts occur, we merely say to ourselves "thinking". By doing this, we are cultivating that unconditional friendliness toward whatever arises in our mind - maitri, or loving-kindness.

Meditation is about opening and relaxing with whatever arises. It is definitely not meant to repress anything.

Pema hears from many who believe they are the worst person in the world - these are individuals with no loving-kindness for themselves.

The most crucial thing of all is to develop maitri, loving-kindness, and an unconditional friendship with ourselves.

We must practice gentleness and letting go.

Pema teaches that hopelessness is the basic ground. "If we make the journey to get security, we're completely missing the point". We should begin with hopelessness.

We need to accept that we are going to die. Death and hopelessness provide the proper motivation for living an insightful, compassionate life.

Kinship with the suffering of others is the discovery of bodhichitta, which means "noble or awakened heart".

We awaken the bodhichitta when we can no longer shield ourselves from the "vulnerability of our condition, ---the basic fragility of existence".

In difficult times, it is only bodhichitta that heals.

The practice of tonglen - sending and receiving - is designed to awaken bodhichitta. We take in pain and send out pleasure.

Whenever we encounter suffering in any form, we breathe it in with the wish that everyone could be free of pain. Whenever we encounter happiness in any form, we breathe it out with the wish that everyone could feel joy.

When we protect ourselves from pain, that protection becomes the armour, "armour that imprisons the softness of the heart". When we breathe in pain, it penetrates that armour. The armour begins to fall apart and "a kindness and a tenderness begin to emerge."

In order to feel compassion for others, we must feel compassion for ourselves.

Tonglen practice is a method for connecting with our own and others' suffering.

We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and wish to help. We breathe in others' pain so they can be well, and when we breathe out, we send them what we think would bring them relief.

Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have died, anyone in pain.

The path is the goal.

Trungpa Rinpoche said "Whatever occurs in the confused mind is regarded as the path. Everything is workable."

I would highly recommend this simply written little book to encourage you on your path. It will provide you with knowledge, insight, and inspiration.

When I first picked up this book over a year ago, I don't think I was entirely prepared to fully understand and absorb its contents. As a result, I put it aside for a whole year.

However, picking it back up over the last week has been an incredibly wonderful experience. Many of the ideas presented within its pages make perfect sense to me, as if they were tailor-made for my current state of mind and understanding.

On the other hand, there are also some ideas that challenge me greatly, pushing me to think outside the box and expand my perspectives. These challenging concepts are precisely what make this book so valuable and engaging.

I have made up my mind to come back to this book time and time again. I believe that each time I read it, I will discover something new and gain further insights. It has become a source of inspiration and knowledge for me, and I look forward to many more readings in the future.

This is Nonfiction-Religion. The author, a Buddhist, imparts the tools of her faith and demonstrates how to apply them in real-life scenarios. I truly had a great affinity for this work. While some parts appealed to me more than others, it was a solid 4-star read for me. However, I am compelled to award the highly sought-after 5th star for two reasons. Firstly, there were certain sections that I would have highlighted with a vivid highlighter for future reference. This leads to the second reason. There were a sufficient number of highlighted areas that would justify a complete reread.

I adored the simplicity of this book. The author offered some excellent practical advice. I was particularly enamored with the way she expounded on compassion and also emphasized not ignoring the things that cause emotional discomfort. The author did touch upon meditation, and I was extremely relieved that it did not devolve into the strange territory that some other books on the subject have ventured into. Overall, this book was most definitely worth reading.

This is truly great.

It's not something that will cause you to fall apart when you read it either!

In fact, it's quite the opposite.

It has the power to engage and captivate you from start to finish.

The words flow smoothly, creating a seamless reading experience.

You won't find yourself getting lost or confused along the way.

Instead, you'll be drawn in by the interesting ideas and concepts presented.

Whether you're looking for entertainment or knowledge, this article has something to offer.

So don't hesitate, give it a read and discover for yourself just how great it is.

You won't be disappointed.

The book has been translated with the title "When Everything Falls Apart".

During the process of learning about meditation and right mindfulness, I have seen many books by Pema Chödrön, and there is also a very good course based on Buddhism with a very nice title, "Making Friends with Yourself".

Once an ordinary citizen, and then walking on the path of practice, her sharing is very easy to touch the readers. Because she has also experienced pain, despair, and loss, readers will be more easily able to receive the message that she wants to share.

"When Everything Falls Apart" is synthesized and rewritten from her teaching materials. What is more interesting is that she spent a whole year in a state of tranquility, looking back and looking deeply into life so that the work could come into being.

The Buddhist teachings in the book are just enough for you to be able to heal or be kind to the wounds and expectations that you have about yourself as well as life.

This book has come up multiple times in conversation in the last year.

So, I decided to get it from the library. It's truly a remarkable piece that I will definitely buy to keep in my collection.

I can envision myself pulling it off the shelf and reading bits of it whenever I'm having a rough time.

In fact, I wish I had possessed it a couple of years ago when things really did fall apart for a while.

Typically, life is filled with countless moments where minor things go wrong.

There are times when you get angry or sad about a particular situation, or when you get bogged down with the "shoulds".

This book not only addresses the bigger difficulties but also the daily ones.

As the quote goes, "To stay with that shakiness - to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge - that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic - this is the spiritual path."

Despite my proclamation that I will buy this book right away, I'm still giving it only four stars.

The reason is that I'm not Buddhist and don't have a glossary of Buddhist lingo in my head.

I struggled in some chapters with remembering the meanings of some of those words, which interrupted the flow for me.

I would have preferred the ideas to be presented in simple language rather than feeling like I was being instructed in Buddhist Precepts (and that there would be a quiz at the end).

The general concepts can be boiled down to the fact that we can learn to live with discomfort, pain, and dark times, as they are an integral part of life.

If we can be compassionate with ourselves, we will be able to pay more attention to our own thoughts and feelings, while also extending that compassion outward to other people and our community.

If that's what Buddhism is all about, then sign me up. :)

I initially believed that this particular book would serve as a guide for those moments when life truly crumbles, rather than being a mere generic introduction to Buddhism. I turned to this book during a time when my entire life seemed to have been completely obliterated. I was unemployed in the midst of a global pandemic, facing the truly terrifying economic realities. I had endured a significant amount of past traumas and had undergone a great deal of therapy, yet this book did little to address the sense of collapse I was experiencing.

It's not that I have a pessimistic mindset. On the contrary, I am open to and eager for spiritual growth. I have found useful elements in every religion I have explored, and this one is no exception. However, the problem lies in the fact that I have read about Buddhism before and was already familiar with its basic tenets. I was seeking something deeper, something more profound. I was hoping for concrete stories, meaningful lessons, and substantial philosophy.

Regrettably, this book consists of 150 pages of generic platitudes. There are very limited personal stories or evidence, and none that truly depict the situation when things fall apart. Most of the content seemed to be rather economically and racially privileged.

Furthermore, I strongly disliked the author's use of ableist language. Referring to non-Buddhists as "deaf, dumb, and blind" in a derogatory manner is unacceptable. I simply cannot fathom how someone can say such callous things about disabled people and still claim to be enlightened.

Ultimately, Buddhism is not the right fit for me. Their views on abstaining from alcohol and being completely passive regarding issues of social justice are simply impossible for me to embrace. (According to Buddhism, even expressing your opinion is considered adding negativity to the world. You must be kind to the oppressors who are trying to harm you. If you ask nicely, they will surely become awakened and change...)

However, if this book helps someone else through a difficult time and has a profound impact on their life, then that's wonderful. I, on the other hand, am still in search of something that can touch my heart and bring about a significant shift. (Even though Buddhism teaches that I should not hope and should simply accept that I will always suffer.) Nevertheless, I continue my search.