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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

pema chödrön

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BRAND NEW, Exactly same ISBN as listed, Please double check ISBN carefully before ordering.

208 pages, Paperback

First published December 24,1996

This edition

Format
208 pages, Paperback
Published
January 1, 2005 by Element Books
ISBN
9780007183517
ASIN
0007183518
Language
English

More editions

About the author

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pema chödrön

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Ani Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.

She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.

While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.

Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.

Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.

Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.

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Community Reviews

Rating(4 / 5.0, 99 votes)
5 stars
33(33%)
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31(31%)
3 stars
35(35%)
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99 reviews All reviews
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Joeigi123
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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The book is based on lectures or talks, which makes the reading experience rather exacting and tiring at times.

It does contain some interesting and inspiring insights, yet these are not particularly rare. In fact, they can be discovered in numerous good novels, autobiographies, biographies, or even during a conversation with one's grandparents.

The book presents a post-money, post-wealth, post-stability, post-health vision that I consider unrealistic. If one is grappling with financial hardships, immigration issues, health concerns, or the horrors of war, reading this book can be not only bothersome but also annoying. It appears that the book fails to fully comprehend the true nature of reality.

Perhaps the author was too idealistic or removed from the harsh realities that many people face on a daily basis. While the book may offer some food for thought, it ultimately falls short in providing practical and applicable solutions for those in need.

Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone looking for a deep and meaningful exploration of the human condition or practical advice on how to navigate the challenges of life.
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RomanceOtakuJNZ
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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Audiobook…. read by Cassandra Campbell
…..5 hours and 18 minutes

This review is mostly notes to myself.

“We experienced a sense of loss…..loss of our friends, loss of our youth, loss of our life.” This profound statement makes us realize the various aspects of loss we encounter.

Things falling apart is indeed a kind of testing. The truth is that we never truly resolve things completely. They come together, only to fall apart again, and then the cycle repeats. The key to healing lies in accepting it all – grief, misery, not-knowing, joy, disappointments, and so on.

The spiritual journey is not about reaching a state of eternal bliss in heaven and believing that everything will always be perfect. Thinking that we can constantly find lasting pleasure and avoid pain is a never-ending and hopeless cycle that leads to great suffering.

The only time we truly understand what is happening is when the rug is suddenly pulled out from under us, and we are left completely不知所措. We may harden into bitterness or righteous indignation. Every day, we can think about the aggression in the world and ask ourselves if we are going to contribute to it. This is a very good question.

Am I going to practice peace or am I going to war? I admit that I have been guilty of going to war at times, but I also try to practice peace. Obviously, if I didn't feel the need to practice more inner peace, I wouldn't be listening to this book again.

Discomfort, such as anger, jealousy, fear, and disappointment, are actually very clear moments that teach us where we are stuck. People who trigger our unresolved issues are actually doing us a service, although it may not feel that way at the time. These triggers occur regularly on their own. Each day, we are given numerous opportunities to open up or shut down.

Working with chaos can awaken us to the importance of relaxing under the burden. We don't need any more depression, discouragement, or anger towards what already exists. It is becoming essential that we learn how to effectively deal with our challenging times. I'm really trying!

Meditation, specifically focusing on our breath, is a tool we can use to stop fighting with ourselves. We can approach it with a non-judgmental attitude.

This was the 20th Anniversary Edition. I read it many years ago, and since I have found myself in difficult situations quite often in recent months, I decided to listen to this book again with the intention of trying to let go of grief, resentments, regret, anger, and suffering.
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Japahahaha
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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Corny as it may sound, this book truly got me through the summer of hell.
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Nyan_chann
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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An astonishing book which can help almost anyone to see the world more positively. This remarkable piece of literature has the power to transform one's perspective. It offers profound insights and practical wisdom that can be applied to various aspects of life. The author's words are like gentle whispers, guiding the reader towards a more optimistic and hopeful outlook.


To fully appreciate the depth and beauty of this book, it should be read slowly. Take the time to savor each sentence, to reflect on its meaning, and to allow the ideas to soak in. As you do so, you will find that your understanding of the world around you begins to shift. You will start to notice the good in every situation, to find joy in the simplest of things, and to approach life with a newfound sense of enthusiasm and purpose.


This book is not just a quick read; it is a journey. A journey that will lead you to a place of greater peace, happiness, and fulfillment. So, pick up this astonishing book, open its pages, and let it take you on a transformational adventure.

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f45wgwg4
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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Today is truly a tough day.

It seems that everything is going wrong and I'm feeling rather stressed. However, there is some good advice here that gives me a glimmer of hope.

The advice might be something that could potentially turn this difficult day around. It could be a simple tip on how to manage my time better, or perhaps a suggestion on how to change my perspective and look at the situation from a different angle.

I'm going to take this good advice to heart and try to implement it. Maybe it won't solve all my problems immediately, but it could be the first step towards making things better.

Even on a tough day like today, there is always the possibility of finding a solution or a way to make things a little easier. And with the help of this good advice, I'm going to do my best to turn this day around.
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Gold_Time
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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The revelation of this book is truly profound. It emphasizes how incredibly powerful it is to embrace and experience uncertainty and difficulties as golden opportunities for growth.

These moments are not random; they hold mystery and purpose. If we choose to run away from them, we are essentially forfeiting a valuable experience.

There is a palpable sense of urgency here. It highlights the idea that we don't have an infinite amount of time as we might think. This is a genuine approach to meditation, which, on the surface, may seem passive.

The reason is that if we live life as present moment individuals, we start to perceive every moment as impermanent. Impermanence, in turn, gives birth to a strong desire to experience the present moment to the fullest, regardless of its quality. It's as if we know we might lose our eyesight tomorrow, so we must observe everything today with great care so that we can remember it vividly.

Chodron encourages us to "do everything as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered, while at the same time knowing that it doesn't matter at all". We should experience everything while also recognizing that each day is a brand new day. This is by no means an easy task.

However, Buddhism is not supposed to be easy. It's about breaking old habits and being open to new ways.

This book is not only life-changing but also highly challenging. It is one of the best books I've ever read on how to be resilient. It has completely changed my perspective on living with an uncertain and even chaotic life. If we all do this as a society, it has the potential to change the world for the better.

A+
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SancheRamos
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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This ended up on my list as a recommendation from GR. I dove in naked, so to speak - having no idea other than probably not fiction. I'm just looking to feel a little better in my world as it is right now.

Buddhist. This is a book about feeling better using Buddhist thinking and beliefs. As I listened, racing around doing my tasks, it all washed over me and I really did begin to feel better, calmer, less stressed. This was a stunning thought to me - some of the ideas are counter to anything I've ever learned. (Hope is a problem????? What? I thought it was the answer?!) But some of it almost began making sense. Most of it did make sense. Honestly, this is the first connection I have really ever made with Buddhist concepts.

That's as far as I will go on reviewing. Just like I wouldn't make a judgement on any belief system other than in my heart, and not in a "star" system, please note the stars I'm giving reflect only my response to the writing and my further pursuit in this author's work and direction. And for that, I'm going to re-read this book in a hard format so I can see the words, note them and have them at hand, and will continue to read more along this line. If it makes sense.
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spiralwired
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
July 15,2025
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Pretty statements that sound true while hiding behind vagueness can be quite deceiving.

These kinds of statements often give the impression of being profound or accurate, but upon closer examination, their lack of specificity becomes evident.

They may use words and phrases that are open to interpretation, allowing the speaker or writer to avoid taking a clear stance or making a definite claim.

This vagueness can make it difficult for the listener or reader to determine the true meaning or intention behind the statement.

In some cases, pretty statements that hide behind vagueness may be used to manipulate or mislead others.

It is important to be critical of such statements and to look beyond the surface to understand the real message being conveyed.

By doing so, we can avoid being misled and make more informed decisions.

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