This experience truly had a profound impact on me. It actually made my panic attacks worse, which was extremely disappointing.

Instead of providing any sort of relief or assistance, it seemed to exacerbate the problem.

I found myself in a state of heightened anxiety and distress, unable to find any solace or comfort.

As a result, I simply couldn't finish it.

It was a frustrating and disheartening situation, leaving me feeling even more vulnerable and alone.

I had hoped for something that would help me manage my panic attacks, but unfortunately, this turned out to be a complete failure.

I'm now left wondering what else I can do to find the support and treatment I need to overcome this debilitating condition.

BRB gotta go breathe in my pain and the pain of others and breathe out compassion for myself and others. This simple yet profound statement holds a world of meaning. It implies a conscious effort to embrace the hardships that both we and those around us experience. By breathing in that pain, we are acknowledging its existence and not shying away from it.

SECOND READING
I don't know if reading this twice in a matter of months gives it away but yeah, things did fall apart. Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs at us, and sometimes, it feels like everything we've built is crumbling. However, this experience of things falling apart can also be a catalyst for growth and self-discovery.

But this did help, I think. At the very least I feel like it allowed me to have space to be in pain and gave me some tools to try and sit with that. It's important to have the space to process our emotions, especially when we're going through difficult times. And having tools to help us cope with that pain can make a world of difference. It might not make the pain go away completely, but it can give us the strength and resilience to face it and move forward.

It was truly a case of divine intervention that led me to find and read this book.

I had just hastily filled a trailer with my belongings and moved out of my house. I was in a terrible state. I had lost my job, and my marriage was a complete disaster. At the age of 30, I had to move in with my parents along with my 12-year-old son. I was so broken that I often went into the bathroom to cry, not wanting my son to see me in such a state. I remained in a depression for months.

Seeing my condition, my mom suggested we go to Half Price Books to get out of the house. I had no money to buy a book, and I had no desire to read anything. However, as I was browsing through the shelves at the store, I noticed the spine of this book. "What a load of crap," I thought before opening it. But when I read the first section in the store, I felt better. Hmm, maybe there was something to this. I ended up buying it with a credit card.

If you were to ask me now how I got through that difficult time, I could honestly answer, "this book was instrumental." I read the book that day and then reread it over and over. After that, I used my time off work to figure out where I wanted to go and hatched a plan to help me get there.

I don't know who said it, but it's true that when you find yourself in a very dark place, you should use this time to reshape yourself like a butterfly does in its cocoon. And when you come out, you will be something different, something better. This book was not only a huge turning point but also life-saving. If I could write this in 100-point bold type, I would.

2020 UPDATE: This year has truly tested us all. My industry collapsed, and I lost my job. COVID-19 struck, taking the lives of friends and family members. I've exhausted my savings and retirement. I've been quarantined for 8 months, severely sprained my knee, and was bedridden for a month. I was rushed to the ER after a horrible fall at home, and I'm about to file for divorce. So, yes, this year is worse than ever before. But as you know, life is a giant, exhausting, frustrating roller coaster. I've risen from the ashes before, and I will do it again. Just like 2001, this is a horrible, outlier year. But the good news is that I am alive to tell the tale, and I am going to make today a better day than yesterday. I am going to keep going until I reach the brighter days on the other side of this dark tunnel.

This book is truly a game-changer.

✨️Even though I have no prior knowledge of Buddhist teachings, Pema Chödrön's utilization of personal anecdotes, engaging stories, and practical exercises makes the principles of Buddhism highly relevant and applicable to our daily lives.

✨️\\"When Things Fall Apart\\" offers a novel perspective on handling life's difficulties. At first, I was concerned that the book might be overly burdensome or have a false sense of positivity. But as I delved deeper into its pages, those fears dissipated.

✨️Although concepts like mindfulness, groundlessness, compassion, and loving-kindness may remain somewhat elusive to me, Pema reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles. She stresses that by confronting our pain and fear head-on and accepting them, we can discover a more profound sense of connection and purpose in our lives.

✨️What struck me the most was the reminder that suffering is an inescapable part of life and the path we must traverse. Like many others, I often try to avoid suffering, discomfort, inconvenience, and uncertainty whenever possible. However, this book serves as a powerful reminder that we cannot evade these experiences; they will continue to present themselves. We can, instead, learn to coexist with them, to live through them, and to embrace them, even when it proves to be a challenging task. Sometimes, we simply have to let everything fall apart and trust that something better will emerge from the chaos.✨️

Please provide the article that needs to be rewritten and expanded so that I can help you.

I decided to read this book mainly because of all the hype that surrounded it. Everyone seemed to be talking about it, so I thought it would be a great read. However, to be completely honest, I didn't enjoy it as much as I initially thought I would.

That being said, there were some aspects of the book that I did like. For example, the short chapters were a plus. They made it easy to read in short bursts and not feel overwhelmed. Also, the concepts presented in the book were quite straight forward, which was nice.

But, there was one thing that I really wished the book had more of, and that was personalised stories. I think hearing real-life examples and experiences would have made the book more relatable and engaging. It would have given me a better understanding of how the concepts could be applied in different situations. Overall, while the book had its good points, it didn't quite meet my expectations.

This was my first Buddhist-related read for a decade. Now, I was able to reflect on how a significant portion of my overall attitude toward life was shaped by the few sources I read back then. Reading this now not only made that realization sink in deeper, but also provided much-needed advice for difficult times, just as the subtitle advertised.

It was a useful read. It was recommended by and borrowed from my therapist. (Reading some reviews, I see at least one other person who got the same recommendation from his therapist too.) I didn't care much for many of the specific personal anecdotes related to her main teacher, Trungpa Rinpoche. This was because I ended up reading a bit about him prior to starting the book and found what I read to be a bit too cult-like and off-putting.

On the other hand, the descriptions of the process of practicing unconditional love, especially toward oneself, as well as resisting the urge to react and do the same thing one typically does to resolve a crisis and instead let it all sink in, were well-developed and well-presented. Suffering is as much a part of life as joy. Trying to shield oneself from it is like shielding oneself from life itself. Life will always continue to offer both suffering and joy (and a myriad of other things) in unexpected ways. So, there's no point in trying to cling on to a (false) sense of security or be addicted to hope for some better future. Both of these lead to a cycle of unnecessary (avoidable) let-downs from not facing the truths of the human condition: fallibility and impermanence being very prominent.

And as Vonnegut so eloquently put it: "There's only one rule that I know of, babies — God damn it, you've got to be kind."

With everything that has occurred in my life this year, my mom discovered this book and believed it would be a great read for me. Indeed, the title was extremely fitting. However, actually implementing what is written in this book could turn out to be very challenging.

Pema Chodron is an American Buddhist, and as such, this book primarily focuses on Buddhism and its practices. Perhaps it's just because I know almost nothing about Buddhism, but I found this to be a very advanced book. She discusses using dharmas, loneliness, meditation, and other ways of perceiving the world. The overarching theme is that things that make us uncomfortable should be examined rather than ignored. We shouldn't be afraid of loneliness, despair, and loss but should instead explore and accept them. She provides tips on how to do this and shares stories about the methods others have found to live in this way. And she does caution that it is a struggle.

As previously mentioned, I found this book to be very advanced. In fact, I really didn't understand most of what she was talking about. This was not something I was prepared for based on the cover and the back cover description. It seemed like something that would be more accessible to everyone. But I would highly recommend that someone have a basic understanding of Buddhism and its terminology before reading this book. Otherwise, they may be just as confused as I was. That's not to say I didn't understand anything at all. There were a few passages that spoke to me and that I could relate to. In particular, she talks about how we as humans build sandcastles and guard them jealously, even though we know in the end they will be washed away by the sea and we're okay with that. She says that this kind of non-attachment is healthy and something we should strive for. And that makes sense.

I also really liked a quote I found in the book. "Honesty without kindness, humor, and goodheartedness can be just mean." This really resonated with me because in my last relationship, all the hurtful things that were said to me by him were excused by him as just being "brutally honest." But is it good to be honest when the only result is to hurt someone? I don't think so, and I like Chodron's theory that honesty involves incorporating kindness as well. It is not noble to always tell the truth without considering the consequences. I'm not advocating lying in any way, but there is a way to tell the truth with compassion. And one person's truth is not always another's.

This was definitely not the book I thought it was going to be, and I think if I had been more educated about Buddhism, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. As it is, there was just too much that was really only aimed at practitioners of Buddhism and difficult for the rest of us to understand. But there are still some valuable lessons to be learned from this book even without that knowledge.

When Things Fall Apart
Copyright 1997
146 pages

Review by M. Reynard 2011

More of my reviews can be found at www.ifithaswords.blogspot.com

A pessimistic message but a very honest one.

I don't really know how to rate it though. I guess if you're able to extract just one single thing from it and apply it to your life, that in itself is a success and it might deserve all the stars. But I'm very divided here. Were these Buddhist advices truly helpful? Well, I'm not so sure about that. I don't know if I can now deal better with pain or death than before reading it. However, it was interesting enough to keep me engaged and make me think a bit. And that's always a good thing, even if the thinking is about how ephemeral everything is.

But the main reason I'm not rating it is the fact that I've read the Spanish version of it and the translation was... How could I put it nicely? Well, it was bad. It was really bad. At times, it was even difficult to read and understand the idea. And I don't get this kind of thing, not for any book but especially not with international best sellers like this one.

So... I hope this book helps you if you read it. No, no, scratch that. I hope you won't have the need to read it. BUT IF you do, I wish you will find in its pages what you're looking for.

Reviews for Book Lovers

Quite possibly, this is the most impacting book I have ever read in my entire life.

I picked it up when I thought everything in my life was going incredibly well. Little did I know how much more there was to discover about life.

"As I become more wholehearted in my journey of gentle honesty, it comes as a quite a shock to realize how much I've blinded myself to some of the ways I've caused harm. My style has been so deeply ingrained that I haven't heard when others have tried to tell me, whether kindly or rudely, that I am causing harm by the way I am or the way I interact with others. I've become so accustomed to the way I do things that somehow I thought others were used to it too."

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. It offers heartfelt advice for difficult times and teaches us how to have intimacy without fear.

Honestly, I initially avoided this book because of its Buddhist perspective. However, it turned out to be a beautiful LIFE perspective, not just a book on Buddhism.

Coming from a strong Christian perspective, I found this book to offer a healthy and fertile journey for everyone who desires fullness, peace, and healing.

Absolutely, it is the most wonderful book I have ever read.

In the midst of the chaos and uncertainty that surrounds us, I found solace in Pema Chödrön's 1997 book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. To be honest, I probably could listen to it on a continuous loop at this moment. Chödrön, an American Buddhist nun, has been sharing her wisdom through writing and speaking for decades. This book is a compilation of various talks, masterfully edited to create a clear and flowing narrative.

Every topic that Chödrön delves into feels incredibly relevant to our current situation of a global pandemic and social distancing. From the themes of loneliness, love, and compassion to fear, hopelessness, nonaggression, and nonattachment, Buddhism offers unique perspectives on these stressful issues. What I appreciate about Chödrön's suggestions is that they are accessible and non-denominational.
One of the practices she recommends is Tonglen, which means "sending and taking" and is aimed at awakening compassion. With each inhalation, we envision taking in the pain of others, and with each exhalation, we picture sending them something that will bring benefit. This simple yet profound practice reminds me that I am part of a larger whole and not alone. Even though I am quarantined with my husband, this virtual and spiritual connection to the world provides much-needed support.
If you are seeking a comforting book and have a spiritual inclination, I highly recommend giving Pema Chödrön a try. She strikes a beautiful balance between strength and gentleness, and her book is filled with instructive material that never comes across as preachy. I know that I didn't fully understand everything on my first reading, and I look forward to listening to it again. All I wanted was to learn a few new strategies to cope with these challenging times, and Chödrön delivered exactly that.
You can pair this book with any reflective work, whether it's fiction or nonfiction. Here are a few suggestions: Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari, which explores creative solutions to seemingly insolvable problems; and two books on resilience, You Are Awesome by Neil Pasricha and Resilient by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. These pairings can enhance your understanding and provide additional perspectives on the themes explored in When Things Fall Apart.

This is easily one of the most significant books I've ever perused.

Lately, I've been grappling with a great deal of stress, and it seems as if this book fortuitously crossed my path at precisely the right juncture.

Chödrön delves into an astonishingly vast array of invaluable lessons regarding empathy, compassion, and patience, all within a relatively concise number of pages.

This is one of those rare tomes that you could conceivably read a chapter of each day for the remainder of your life and still continuously unearth something novel, something practical that would assist you in leading a more fulfilling existence.

She expounds at length on the importance of savoring the present moment, positing that what we deem as problems are frequently opportunities in disguise, and that we ought not to incessantly strive for perfection, for life itself is inherently imperfect.

In essence, this is an awe-inspiring book that expounds upon the might of being mindful, of relinquishing attachments, and of the significance of introspection.

"Some of us can accept others right where they are a great deal more effortlessly than we can accept ourselves. We are under the impression that compassion is earmarked for someone else, and it never dawns on us to feel it for ourselves."