جميل إن كتب أخر السنة تكون لطيفة كدا
الكتاب بيتكلم عن إن كل شخص فينا مختلف عن التاني في طريقة تعبيره عن حبه و بالتالى فكل واحد ليه لغة حب مختلفة بيحبها و بيستناها .. قسم لغات الحب لخمسة :
- كلمات التشجيع
- قضاء وقت سوا
- أعمال خدمية أو مساعدة
- تبادل هدايا
- إتصال بدني
و من هنا بيبدأ يشرح كل لغة بالتفصيل و يدي قصص من خبراته..
فكرة الكتاب لذيذة .. طول عمرى كنت باخد بالى إن اللى بيفرحني مش هو اللى بيفرح غيري .. أو على الأقل مش بنفس الدرجة.. بس في نفس الوقت مش قادرة اقتنع إن كل واحد ليه لغة حب واحدة .. يمكن فعلا فيه حاجة بتكون مسيطرة عن التانية لكن في الآخر كل واحد فينا فيه لغات الحب بنسب مختلفة .. السر كله إنك تركز على الأهم ..اللطيف إنه مش بس متكلم عن الأزواج لا كمان عالسريع اتكلم عن الصحاب و الأطفال .. خصوصا فكرة إن الطفل اللى بيحتاج كلمات تشجيع مثلا أو أحضان و احتواء و هو صغير و بيكبر فجأة ميلاقيش ده كله فبيحس إنه مش محبوب حتي لو اتقدمله مليون حاجة تانية و هكذا
يعيب الكتاب بالنسبة لى التكرار و التبسيط الشديد جدا جدا كأن اللى بيقرأ مش فاهم حاجة

I think the basis for this self-help book is good. I totally get the "love languages" thing. My husband's "love language" is Physical Affection and mine is Quality Time. I totally see that. But this is like a "Love Language For Dummies." It talks to you like you're an idiot who has never had basic human social interaction before. And there isn't really any advice, just this guy rambling on about how smart he is for figuring out that people need to be loved in different ways. Like, his advice for someone whose spouse (not partner, not lifemate, and - in this instance, always the wife) prefers "Acts of Service" as a love language (because wives love when their husband does the laundry for them, basically) is just that -- do the laundry without being asked. Well no shit. That's not real advice, that's common sense. And if the husband were to argue "I don't have time, I work a lot so that I can provide for my family" blah blah blah, he just says "WELL MAKE TIME." Super helpful, guy.

Not to mention the book is sexist and heteronormative. Unfortunately, I did a little googling on the author AFTER the fact, and of course it is, because he's a Bible beater. I wish I had known that before I wasted my $7 on the Kindle book. I'd really like to see this concept updated and brought into the 21st century, written in such a manner as to A) actually include all walks of life, not just middle class straight white married couples, and B) actually offer advice that can be applied to a relationship.

"إلى زوجي العزيز "محمد المرابت
.أعدك أنّي لن أقرأ هذه الكتب بعد اليوم


"إلى "أحمد الشقيري
لماذا قلت أنّ الكتاب يتحدث عن الحب بصفة عامة ''بين الشريكين ، الأطفال ،الأصدقاء ،الوالدين ....''، أتحفزني لأقرأ وأنا أحمل فكرة غلطى عن الكتاب ؟؟


إلى المتزوجين والمقبلين على الزواج
اتخاذ البيت النبوي قدوة سيجعل الحياة أسعد وأروع... عليكم بكتب السيرة في هذا المجال

الكتاب لم يضف لي شيئا للأسف :(

So over the years this is a book that has been gifted to me. Why? I’m not sure. I recently received another copy a few days ago and decided it was time to give it a read. I have 4 copies of this book.That is correct, 4, and all were gifted. Apparently my friends think I needed this book bad and while I’m not married it was interesting looking back and seeing where miscommunication occurred that could have been simply prevented if we knew what the other one needed based on how they interpreted love and vice versa.

من أحسن كتب العلاقات الإنسانية عامة و العاطفية خاصة، يشرح لنا لغات الحب المختلفة بين البشر لكل منا له لغته الخاصة في التعبير عن الحب لشريكه،
فكرة الكتاب قد تبدو بديهية أو مكررة لكنها منطقية و كيف لمحدث باللغة العربية الفصحى أن يتبادل الحديث مع من يتكل اللغة الروسية مثلا !

لغة الهدايا هي أشهرها لكنها ليست الوحيدة و المفاجأة أن للبعض لا تعني لهم بقدر ما يعنيه تكريس الوقت لهم أو كلمات التشجيع مثلا.

فعلا الكثير من النساء يفضلن الزوج المحب و المشجع أو الذي يكرس كل وقته لأسرته و لزوجته، و أنا واحدة منهم بصراحة.

لغات الحب الخمسة:
1- تكريس الوقت
2- كلمات التشجيع
3- تبادل الهدايا
4- الأعمال الخدمية
5- التواصل الجسدي

لكل منا لغته الخاصة و تعني له الكثير حين يستقبلها ممن يحب لذالك وجب فهم لغة حب الشريك للتعبير عن الحب بنفس الطريقة التي يحتاجها الشريك.

إن ثاني أفضل شيء يمكن أن يقيم علاقة صحيحة بين الزوجين بعد المودة والرحمة هو أن يدرك الشخص كيف يفكر شريك حياته.
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كتاب جميل جداً، رغم أن ما ذُكر فيه قد لا يبدو جديداً إلا أنه وبتوضيحه النقاط الأساسية والخطوط العريضة للعلاقة بين الزوجين وأولها كيف يعبر الشريك عن حبه واهتمامه يعد من أهم الأشياء التي يجب أن يجد الشخص وقتاً لها.

Don't let the ridiculous cover fool you! This is the single best book I've ever read to help me understand the different ways people show love and wish to receive love. This book absolutely helped me to understand and improve my marriage. I have recommended this book many times and was shocked to see I have never reviewed it. In fact, it is probably time for a reread.
The Five Love Languages of Children is also excellent. 5 stars!

I found this book useful without being preachy and guilt ridden. Gary Chapman is a marriage genius. I felt like I was in couple's therapy without paying hundreds an hour. He used Jesus as an example once, for anyone avoiding religious text.

As we all know marriage is hard and it is a daily choice to love but after the honeymoon bliss is over can we still have a happy marriage? Did the other person suddenly change or did we change without thinking about it?

There's so much static in our daily lives; work, bills, kids, money, climbing the social ladder, other people, resentment, exhaustion etc. We start to take our relationship for granted and it starts to surface as anger and hate.

So in 5 steps you find your way toward a more loving, enjoyable partner bc of the way you love him. Chapman doesn't promise easy; he promises a happier emotional love tank which can make the marriage reborn.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
QUALITY TIME
RECEIVING GIFTS
ACTS OF SERVICE
PHYSICAL TOUCH

Which fills you up? Which fills them up?

Side note: I discovered WORDS OF AFFIRMATION makes me feel loved.

His first is: PHYSICAL TOUCH and second QUALITY TIME

كنتُ دائمًا أسألُ زوجى:
-ما الذى تعيبه علىّ؟
-أو ما الذى إذا فعلته تشعر بحبي لك؟

وكان يجيبنى لا أنكر ذلك، ولكنى كنتُ أرى أن ما يقوله ليس أساسيًا
وأن هناك الأكثر أهمية للتعبير عن الحب بغير هذه الصورة
لذلك فكنتُ غالبًا لا أتغير ولا حتى أمل من السؤال لأننى كنت أريد الإجابة التى أريدها أنا...

حتى قرأتُ هذا الكتاب

لا أكذب أبدًا حين أقول أن هذا الكتاب سيغير حياتى جذريًا

فهمتُ إجابات زوجى، وعرفت لغة الحب خاصته وخاصتى، وأدركتُ تباين الرغبات
ولا أستطيع أن أصف مدى سعادتى وفرحتى الآن،
هذا الكتاب سأحرص بشدة على الحصول على نسخة ورقية منه
فهو الكنز المهدى من السماء لى.

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تعجبني الكتب التي تصف فكرة واحدة بسيطة لكنها في غاية العبقرية والأصالة
أنه مثلما لدينا لغات مختلفة .. فلدينا لغات حب مختلفة ،،واذا لم تتكلم مع شريكك بلغته في الحب فلن تستطيع ايصال حبك له
لأنه يوجد في قلب كل منا مفتاحه الخاص
وفي داخل اعماق الشخصية توجد حاجة ماسة ما .. هي في هذا الكتاب تسمى لغة حب
وهي قاعدة عامة يمكن تطبيقها على الأولاد أو اي شخص

كتاب يضيف الكثير

The premise of this best-selling book is quite simple, but many of us haven't tried looking at our marriages this way. In short, people have their own, often unconscious way of expressing love and rarely do two spouses have the same "Love Language." This can cause trouble in a marriage because we may simply not understand the way in which our partner is expressing his or her love, even if s/he is trying really hard to express it and has NO idea we aren't getting it. In turn, s/he may not feel loved if we are "speaking a different language." Thus, we could be struggling for years and still be completely misreading each other.
To my surprise, my husband was actually willing to take the quiz at the end of the book with me, and we have had a FABULOUS few days so far. Just knowing which Love Language is most important to each other can make us happier, and an awful lot less frustrated.
Let's see if he keeps this up (nudge-nudge, wink-wink!).

A couple things that annoyed me: the author is a devout Christian and mentions his beliefs a little more often than I would prefer. And he is more than a trifle sexist. He's convinced that women mainly have sex for emotional reasons whereas men have a stronger physical need. In a word: bullshit. On the men's version of the quiz there is a question about "loving to have sex with my wife", but on the women's version, the wording is changed to "I love cuddling with my husband".
BAH HUMBUG to that! Dr. Chapman, sir, it is the 21st Century. Do you truly think that most women have that hard of a time admitting that they enjoy having sex?!
Poppycock and balderdash and Honey, puh-leeze! Dr. Chapman, I really do feel you, and I cannot tell you how delighted I am that you got my husband's attention, but you just lost yourself a 5-star rating for going on and on about the Gospel of Luke and for being stuck in the Victorian era in terms of gender differences.

In spite of that, I found the book readable, useful and, if my husband's behavior is any indication, very helpful.

**2014 Follow-up:
Still works for me. It helps just knowing that Mr. Gaijinpapa is trying to express love in his own way, which isn't my way, but hey I am me and he is he..so I appreciate his effort and I try to understand his way and do not try to change him. After 23 years, I think romance is all well and good, but marriage is really about patience and being willing to accept each other for who you are..I am still Royally Pissed Off about the Gender and Kinda Fundamentalist Religious stuff. Dr. Chapman, Sir, I maintain that women like to get some! Cuddles are nice too, and guys might be happier and healthier if society would allow them to admit that they too need to cuddle sometimes, but sometimes we ladies want..you know...It and why pretend otherwise?

You can read any one of the Five Love Languages and get the just of the books. It teaches you how to identify your love language and those around you. What the author states is that everyone has a major love language (love cup to be filled) as well as a minor love language. You really begin to understand why some people, including yourself, will do certain things. For example, my youngest son's love language is service. He brings me a cup of water to bed because he knows I drink water thru out the night. He likes to serve and in turn he likes to be served. That's just one example, the book explains it better.