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March 31,2025
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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Gary Chapman

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman.

It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages".

By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other.

Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction.

A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together.

For men and women of all ages who want to express love to their spouse in a meaningful way, and improve overall communication.

This book speaks straight to the needs of troubled spouses and simplifies and makes practical the ways to heal damaged relationships.

عنوانهای چاپ شده در ایران: «5 [پ‍ن‍ج‌] زب‍ان‌ ع‍ش‍ق‌: چ‍گ‍ون‍ه‌ ب‍ه‌ او ب‍گ‍وی‍م‌ دوس‍ت‍ت‌ دارم‌»؛ «چگونه به دل همسرم بنشینم؟»؛ «5 زبان عشق: چگونه تعهد قلبی خود را به یارمان ابراز کنیم»؛ «5 زبان عشق»؛ «پنج زبان عشق»؛ «پنج زبان دلبستگی: چگونه احساسات قلبی خود را به همسرتان بیان کنید»؛ «قلب پنج زبان عشق»؛ «5 زبان عشق‬ همسران»؛ «پنج زبان عشق همسران»؛ نویسنده: گری چپمن؛ تاریخ نخستین خوانش روز بیست و هفتم ماه اکتبر سال2005میلادی

عنوان: 5 [پ‍ن‍ج‌] زب‍ان‌ ع‍ش‍ق‌: چ‍گ‍ون‍ه‌ ب‍ه‌ او ب‍گ‍وی‍م‌ دوس‍ت‍ت‌ دارم‌؛ نویسنده: گ‍ری‌ چ‍اپ‍م‍ن‌؛ ب‍رگ‍ردان‌ س‍ی‍م‍ی‍ن‌ م‍وح‍د؛ تهران، ویدا، سال1383؛ در212ص؛ شابک ندارد؛ چاپ چهاردهم سال1394؛ شابک9646807666؛ موضوع زناشویی از نویسندگان ایالات متحده آمریکا - سده20م

فهرست: فصل اول: پس از ازدواج چه بر سر عشق میآید؟ فصل دوم: پر نگه داشتن مخزن عشق؛ فصل سوم: عاشق شدن؛ فصل چهارم: زبان اول عشق: کلام تایید آمیز؛ فصل پنجم: زبان دوم عشق: وقت گذاشتن برای یکدیگر؛ فصل ششم: زبان سوم عشق: دریافت هدایا؛ فصل هفتم: زبان چهارم عشق: خدمت به یکدیگر؛ فصل هشتم: زبان پنجم عشق: تماس فیزیکی؛ فصل نهم: کشف زبان اصلي عشق خودتان؛ فصل دهم: عشق یک انتخاب است؛ فصل یازدهم: عشق اساسی است؛ فصل دوازدهم: مهر ورزیدن به آن هایی که دوستشان نداریم؛ فصل سیزدهم: کودکان و زبان‌های عشق؛ فصل چهاردهم: یک کلام شخصی؛

عنوان: چگونه به دل همسرم بنشینم؟ مولف گری چپمن؛ مترجم مژگان قشقائی‌پور؛ تهران، آوینا‏‫‏؛ سال1387؛ در308ص؛ شابک9789642563371؛چاپ دوم و سوم سال1389؛ چاپ پنجم سال1394؛

عنوان: 5 زبان عشق: چگونه تعهد قلبی خود را به یارمان ابراز کنیم؛ نویسنده گاری (گری) چپمن؛ مترجم رویا منجم؛ تهران، علم، سال1387؛ در218ص؛ شابک9789644059711؛

عنوان: 5 زبان عشق؛ نویسنده گاری (گری) چاپمن (چپمن)؛ مترجمها: بختیار کرمی، نظام هاشمی؛ تهران، بهشتیان، سال1392؛ در220ص؛ شابک9786006148434؛

عنوان: پنج زبان عشق؛ مولف گری چاپمن؛ مترجمها رامین کریمی، فاطمه اشرف‌پوراردکانی؛ تهران، شلاک؛ سال1383؛ در118ص؛ شابک9647962177؛ چاپ دوم سال1387؛

عنوان: پنج زبان دلبستگی: چگونه احساسات قلبی خود را به همسرتان بیان کنید؛ نوشته گری چپمن ؛ مترجم احمد جعفری؛ تبریز، شایسته، سال1388؛ در214ص؛ شابک9789647266536؛ چاپ دوم سال1389؛ چاپ دیگر تبریز، فروزش، سال1389؛ در یک جلد بدون شماره گذاری؛ شابک9789645472939؛ چاپ سوم سال1390؛

عنوان: قلب پنج زبان عشق؛ نویسنده گری چاپمن؛ مترجمها شمس‌الدین حسینی، الهام آرام‌نیا؛ ویراستار حمیده رستمی؛ تهران، نسل نواندیش؛ سال1389؛ در64ص؛ شابک9789642360765؛

عنوان:‏‫ 5 زبان عشق‬ همسران؛ نویسنده گری چاپمن؛ مترجم علیرضا اکبرزاده؛ تهران، مهراج، چاپ اول و دوم و سوم سال1389؛ در277ص؛ شابک9786009040742؛ چاپ چهارم سال1390؛ چاپ پنجم سال1392؛ چاپ ششم سال1394؛

عنوان: پنج زبان عشق؛ نیسنده: گری چاپمن؛ مترجم گیتی (عزت‌الملوک) شهیدی؛ تهران، فراروی، سال1390، در182ص؛ شابک9786005947328؛ چاپ دوم سال1393؛

عنوان: پنج زبان عشق همسران؛ نویسنده گری چپمن ؛ مترجم طیبه رفیعی؛ قم، الهام نور؛ چاپ اول تا سوم سال1393؛ در208ص؛ شابک9786006947020؛ چاپ دیگر قزوین، آریاز‏‫‬؛ چاپ پنجم سال1393؛ در208ص؛ شابک9786006548067؛

کتاب به بسیاری از پرسش‌های بی‌جواب زندگی عشقی و زناشویی افراد پاسخ داده است؛ نویسنده در این اثر به حقیقتی ناگفته اشاره می‌کنند و توضیح می‌دهند که افراد به زبان‌های گوناگون از عشق صحبت می‌کنند؛ همانگونه که انسان‌ها با زبان مادری خود احساس راحتی بیشتری دارند، زبان‌های عاطفی نیز همینگونه است؛ اختلاف زمانی پیش می‌آید که در زندگی مشترک هر کس به زبان عشقی خود سخن بگوید؛ به باور «چاپمن» اینکار همانند آن است که یکی از طرفین به زبان «انگلیسی» و دیگری به زبان «چینی» سخن بگویند؛ در چنین شراطی هرگزی نخواهید فهمید که چطور به یکدیگر عشق بورزید؛ این زبان‌ها ریشه در کودکی انسان دارد، و زبان اصلی عشق را مبتنی با ساختار روانی منحصر به فرد خود ایجاد می‌کنند؛ آنها بر مبنای همین زبان اصلی سخن می‌گویند و همین زبان را می‌فهمند؛ اغلب زوجین زبان عشق متفاوتی دارند و به همین علت از درک حرف یکدیگر عاجزند؛ «چاپمن» زبان عشق را به طور کلی به پنج دسته تقسیم کرده است که همانند زبانهای گفتاری لهجه‌های گوناگونی نیز دارد؛ برای آنکه پس از ازدواج عشق همسران زنده بماند، باید زبان دوم را آموخت، و محبت را به زبان عشق طرف مقابل بیان کرد؛ تعریف شفاهی، قدردانی، و کلام تایید آمیز، نخستین زبان عشق است؛ کلمات ابزار قدرتمندی هستند، که توان آفرینندگی یا مرگ دارند؛ دومین زبان عشق وقت گذاشتن نام دارد؛ کنار یکدیگر بودن لزوما به معنای وقت گذاشتن نیست؛ زبان سوم دریافت هدایا است؛ نمادهای بصری در چشم بعضی افراد بسیار مهم است؛ زبان چهارم عشق، خدمت به یکدیگر است؛ اینکار به مفهوم مشارکت در کارهایی است که همسرتان دوست دارد شما انجام دهید؛ و زبان پنجم عشق تماس فیزیکی نظیردر آغوش کشیدن یکدیگر و روابط جنسی است؛

نقل از متن برگردان خانم سیمین موحد: (عشق تنها نیاز عاطفی ماست؛ روانشناسان دریافته‌اند که نیاز به امنیت، احساس ارزشمندی و اهمیت داشتن نیازهای اساسی ما هستند؛ اما عشق همه این نیازها را میپوشاند؛ اگر من احساس کنم همسرم دوستم دارد آرامش می‌یابم زیرا می‌دانم که محبوبم آزاری به من نخواهد رساند؛ من در حضور او احساس امنیت و اطمینان می‌کنم؛ شاید در حرفه‌ام با مشکلات متعدد مواجه شوم؛ شاید درحوزه‌های دیگر زندگیم دشمنانی داشته باشم، اما از جانب همسرم اطمینان خاطر دارم

حس ارزشمندیِ من در اثر این واقعیت که همسرم دوستم دارد تقویت می‌شود؛ اگر او مرا دوست دارد پس باید ارزش عشق را داشته باشم؛ شاید والدینم مرا بی‌ارزش دانسته یا نسبت به ارزشم شک کرده باشند؛ اما همسرم مرا به رسمیت می‌شناسد و دوستم دارد؛ عشق او عزت نفس مرا افزایش می‌دهد

نیاز به احساس اهمیت داشتن نیروی عاطفی نهفته در پس اغلب رفتارهای ماست؛ عشق با میل و آرزوی موفقیت، پیش رانده می‌شود؛ ما می‌خواهیم زندگی‌مان ارزشمند باشد، هر یک از ما ایده ی خود را از معنای اهمیت داریم، و برای کسب هدفمان به شدت تلاش می‌کنیم؛ احساس عشق همسرمان سبب می‌شود تا بیشتر احساس اهمیت بکنیم؛ ما به خود می‌گوییم اگر کسی مرا دوست دارد؛ پس باید اهمیت داشته باشم

من مهم هستم زیرا در نقطه اوج نظام آفرینش جای دارم؛ من می‌توانم فکر کنم؛ افکارم را از راه پیشینیانم آگاه شوم و از آنها استفاده کنم، می‌توانم تجارب دیگران را به کار بگیرم، حتی اگر آنها در عصر و فرهنگ دیگری زیسته باشند؛ می‌توانم با مشاهده مرگ اعضای خانواده و دوستان وجود دنیایی فراتر از دنیای مادی راحس کنم؛ من کشف می‌کنم که در تمام فرهنگ‌ها مردم به جهان معنوی اعتقاد دارند؛ قلبم به من می‌گوید این حقیقت دارد حتی اگر تربیت علمی‌ام آن را مورد سئوال قرار دهد

من مهم هستم؛ زندگی بامعناست و هدفی والا دارد؛ من می‌خواهم آن را باور کنم اما شاید تا زمانی که کسی به من ابراز عشق نکند احساس اهمیت نکنم؛ وقتی همسرم با محبت بسیار وقت و انرژی خود را به من اختصاص میدهد و برایم کار و کوشش میکند ایمان میآورم که مهم هستم)؛ پایان نقل

تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 05/08/1400هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی
March 31,2025
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We were given this book as a wedding gift but I didn't get around to reading it for almost 9 years. And when I finished it, I wished I hadn't waited so long.
This is another book that can help you identify more effective ways of relating to loved ones. It gives suggestions for using it's tips and lays out how to change the way that you deal with other people.
So often we show love and are angry or at a loss as to why it isn't appreciated or accepted. The jist of this book is that you have to show love to people in a way they understand rather than in the way you like. It makes loving some people more difficult for you because you aren't used to showing love that way or you find it hard or uncomfortable. But when we truly love someone, they will feel it more readily when spoken in their "language."
March 31,2025
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افضل ما في هذا الكتاب ثلاثة أشياء:
الأول: التركيز والتبسيط
اعتقد ان�� قد تنسى الكثير مما تقرأه وربما تنسى محتوى هذا الكتاب كذلك ولكن سيبقى عالقا في ذهنك على الاقل العناوين الرئيسية للغات الخمسة للحب (تكريس الوقت، كلمات التشجيع، تبادل الهدايا، الأعمال الخدمية، الإتصال البدني)ه
الثاني: التنظيم والترتيب
أثر فيّ هذا الكتاب بأن قام بعمل تنظيمي داخل عقلي .. فأنا أعرف كل المعلومات التي ذكرها الكاتب مسبقا وربما الكثيرون ايضا، ولكن ما فعله الكاتب هو ان رتب المعلومات الموجودة داخل رؤسنا ووضعها داخل أدراج خمسة بالعقل، يسهل الوصول اليها والتعامل معها وإستدعائها وقت الحاجه ..
ثالثا: صحة الفكرة
اذا تمعنت في التفكير وحاولت تطبيق ما قرأته عمليا على بعض الاشخاص حولك ستكتشف ان الكاتب محقا فكلنا نعبر عن الحب من خلال الخمس طرق الاساسية تلك على اختلاف تنويعاتهم وسجد أنك انت نفسك تفضل التعبير عن الحب باستخدام طريقة فضلا عن اخرى وهكذا .. إن معرفة لغة الحب الخاصة بشريكك تساعد على انجاح العلاقات بشكل كبير .. فالحب ليس مجرد اقوال ومشاعر مندفعه فحسب بل يستحق ما هو اكثر من ذلك، مزيد من التفكير والبحث والقراءة لتطويره والمحافظة على استمراريته
March 31,2025
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O carte pe care am citit-o cu mare plăcere și foarte ușor, dar care mi-a revoluționat oarecum modul de a privi un mariaj. Aș pune-o în mâna tuturor oamenilor de pe planeta asta și i-aș forța s-o citească, ca să fiu complet sinceră. Cele cinci limbaje ale iubirii de aici nu se aplică numai relațiilor de cuplu, ci mai tuturor relațiilor interumane. De iubit, nu ne iubim doar soțul/soția și atât. Ne iubim membrii familiei, copiii, prietenii, etc. Mi se pare o carte foarte importantă, iar ceea ce o face și mai mișto e faptul că e foarte „citibilă”. Cum ziceam, am citit-o din plăcere și destul de rapid. Mi-a plăcut mult și o recomand mai departe! :)
March 31,2025
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„Die 5 Sprachen der Liebe“ von Gary Chapman ist ein unheimlich gutes Buch, das ich am liebsten jedem in die Hand drücken wollen würde!
March 31,2025
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Before I start in on the reasons why I didn't like this book, let me mention the good parts of it. As someone who just got married, I value ideas about how to strengthen a lifelong relationship, and the book did have some good ideas. It's always good to be reminded that I should be looking for little things I can do to make my spouse happy, that even if I'm happy with everything in a relationship I should be checking in with my spouse to make sure he's happy too, etc.

I've always thought personality quizzes were fun and this book has a certain appeal because of that. There is something fun about trying to discover your "love language" and your spouse's, and see what that says about you both. Just to establish, the 5 Love Languages in the book are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. I can see how in certain instances, thinking about the love languages could strengthen communication in a relationship. For instance, if one spouse really communicates most strongly with physical touch but that doesn't come naturally to the other partner, they might feel unloved until the other partner learns to show love through physical touch.

Finally I appreciated how the book suggested mindful, practical ways to maintain a relationship over time. It talks a lot about the "in love" experience at the start of a relationship and how that's different than developing a lifelong, sustaining love. It reminded me of a quote from an Adrienne Rich poem: "I choose to love this time for once / with all my intelligence." To me, loving with intelligence means that once those crazy feelings of infatuation at the beginning of a relationship subside, and you and that other person start to see each other's flaws, to learn about them as an individual and not an ideal you've built up in your own head, you still choose to love them (or, if you see that they are abusive or mistreating you, etc., you choose to end that relationship and love someone else who respects you).

I think in a lot of our TV shows, books, and movies, there are two kinds of relationships: the young lovers who emerge victorious at the end of a romantic comedy, perfectly in love and just starting out with their lives, or the middle-aged married couple who nag each other and take it for granted that romance and sex are off the table permanently. It's kind of a sad pattern that I definitely don't want to be true in my own marriage. So to circle back to the book, I did appreciate that it was very practical about how to consciously nurture the love in a relationship; it doesn't assume that once the honeymoon is over, things will fall apart.

But I still gave this book a 1-star rating. Even though it brought Adrienne Rich to mind, Gary Chapman is no Adrienne Rich. It's kind of a bumbling mess written by someone with maybe a slight Jesus complex. I noticed that even though platonic love is discussed, every example of a romantic couple in the book is a heterosexual couple and the book presumes, consistently, that the only form of acceptable romantic love is between a man and a woman in a Christian marriage. It was also openly against open or polyamorous relationships. I understand because I am not interested in that for myself--but I wouldn't judge someone who wants a non-monogamous relationship, because it's all a matter of personal choice. I didn't like that the book assumes so much or that Chapman feels he can tell people what's best for them.

I also think too much emphasis is placed on finding your one true love language. Yes, I did just say personality tests are fun, but while reading the book I really connected with several of the love languages described almost equally. It's nice when my spouse compliments me, but it's also nice to hold hands with my spouse, or when he does the dishes for me, or gives me a gift, or when we spend quality time together; I can't really differentiate between the niceness of those different things. Yet the book really insists everyone has one love language and maybe one secondary love language. It smacks of someone trying to sell me something and I don't like that. It's also kind of creepy and weird to read about all these troubled couples who host Chapman in their homes for the night while he's traveling for seminars, just to beg him for marital advice. Reminds me of televangelists who prey on their flock. I'm wary of self-help books to begin with, I only read this one because I've heard good things about it, but it reinforced my view; I don't need to be sold on the idea of love or preached to about it.

My biggest problem, which came close to the end of the book, is one example Chapman gave of how the miraculous love languages work. A woman came to Chapman who was so sick of her marriage, she was on the cusp of leaving, because her husband didn't care about her at all anymore. All her friends were telling her to get out. She said she hated him and asked Chapman, "can you love someone you hate?" Which of course he decided to meditate on by reading the Bible. OK, I can dig it; the Bible has some good quotes and advice even if you're not religious. In fact I have no problem with the words of Jesus Chapman chose to share with this woman--love thy neighbor, treat others as you want to be treated, if you give a measure it will be returned to you until your cup runneth over, etc (I'm paraphrasing because, lazy).

OK so that's all fine. But then Chapman is all, "what's your husband's love language?" and she says "physical touch" and he's like "well you need to touch him and have sex with him more" and she says "but I don't want to" and he says "well yeah that will be hard but just think of Jesus" I AM NOT KIDDING. I laughed as my valuation of the book instantly crumbled before me into sad, atheist dust. It's not directly expressed in the book, but this lady basically hints that her husband is verbally, if not physically, abusive and at the very least totally negligent and uncaring. Well of course the suggestion works and he starts to come around and love her back in her own "love language" but any respect I had for the book disappeared at that point.

Also, even though as I've said I'm all for choosing love and loving with intelligence, some of the suggestions Chapman has are just laughable. For instance, every day you should ask your spouse "how full is your 'love tank' on a scale of 1 to 10?" and then if it's less than 10, you're supposed to do something to "fill their love tank." I'm sorry but I just can't with that childlike, pandering language. You can choose to love mindfully without teetering over into this totally clinical, almost bureaucratic method.

FINALLY, and this review is so long now I know nobody is reading at this point but oh well, all of the advice is totally directed at middle-aged couples who have basically fallen out of love, so a lot of it was not applicable to me. Also, a lot of the advice is the really basic flavor (listen to each other, give your spouse undivided attention, give your spouse little gifts or notes to remind them how much you love them) you could get anywhere, that honestly should just be common sense by the time you're married. And finally finally finally, the "love languages" are nice and all, but I can see so many instances where troubles can arise in a marriage that the love languages couldn't fix. For instance, disagreeing about money/family/politics, if one partner is downright abusive or uncaring or habitually cheating, if a partner withdraws to the point where they won't do anything to help fix the relationship despite how strongly you're speaking their "love language." The end. Phew.
March 31,2025
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Turns out, my top three love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Touch. I knew this before reading the book, but at least I know I was right!

The 5 Love Languages is a good and helpful book that is very easy to comprehend. There were some naïve bits where I had to shake my head and laugh, but overall it's very aware and has helped a lot of relationships. I'd say everyone, no matter what kind of relationship you're in, should give it a shot.

FINAL VERDICT: 3.5 stars
March 31,2025
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كتاب يشبه كتب التنمية البشرية..وانا اكره كتب التنمية البشريه
March 31,2025
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After hearing so many rave reviews, I really wanted to like this book. I skimmed about half of it. I'm sure there is plenty of good stuff, but I got stuck on one small sentence in the "words of affirmation" section of the book.

"Girls are people who like to be affirmed verbally, just as men like to be affirmed verbally."

Hmmm. So the men are men and the women are....girls? And girls are people too?! I can't overlook it and I can't bear the misogynistic tone. Buh-bye Gary Chapman.
March 31,2025
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Buvo 2,5*... iki skyriaus Kaip mylėti nemylimą. Patarti moteriai likti su ją atvirai niekinančiu ir neapkenčiančiu sutuoktiniu yra kažkas... ultrakrikščioniško, tikra aukos liturgija. Nors esminė mintis (išreikšti meilę artimam žmogui suprantama kalba, stengtis ir prisitaikyti, būti dėmesingam) yra gera ir logiška, pati knyga pasenusi ir konservatyvi. Autorius mėgina pabrėžti, kad reikėtų nesilaikyti stereotipinių lyčių vaidmenų, bet vis tiek nuo puslapių dvelkia seksizmu ir mizoginija. Pačioje pirmoje pastraipoje, dėkodamas savo žmonai, autorius rašo: "Jeigu visos žmonos mylėtų kaip ji, mažiau vyrų dairytųsi į kitas moteris", taip vienu sakiniu vis tiek užkraudamas žmonoms emocinio darbo santuokoje naštą. Kuo daugiau galvoju apie šitą knygą, tuo didesnis pyktis apima, tai nebegalvosiu. :D
March 31,2025
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Interesting, insightful, useful. Good dinner conversation.

The author is a Baptist church pastor who counseled thousands of people. As a result he discovered what he called the Five Love Languages. It works as follows.

One should figure out what their love language is - which may be different from their spouse’s language. A person tends to do things for their spouse that they would like done for themself, but that won’t please the spouse if the spouse has a different language. For example, the husband might desire words of affirmation (needs to hear compliments and appreciation for his work). The wife might desire acts of service (like help with household chores). If the marriage has problems, one should try giving the spouse what the spouse desires - periodically and regularly.

The other three languages are: physical touch, spend quality time together, receive gifts.

This also helps with other relationships like friendships, family members, and co-workers.

AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR:
The author narrated his book. It was well done.

AUDIOBOOK:
There are several different titles for this book in Goodreads. The one I purchased was on Audible. The title was “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.”

DATA:
Narrative mode: 1st person. Unabridged audiobook length: 4 hrs and 46 mins. Swearing language: none. Sexual content: none. Book copyright: 2009. Genre: nonfiction, self help psychology, marriage counseling.
March 31,2025
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Good information. Can see how it could be helpful to many people. I think it would’ve been better to frame it in terms of any relationship versus just marriages though. I think the concepts and principles apply to everyone nonetheless, and I appreciated that it was written agnostically (Chapman is also a Baptist pastor).
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