Rating: a little over 4 stars.

This book was good. The concepts are important. I got the singles edition as well so I could actually apply these ideas to my current life. The book got a little tedious, though. I felt the first 9 chapters were all that were needed. These chapters encompassed an overview of how Chapman came to the 5-language conclusion, a discussion of each of the five languages, and a "how to determine your love language." I felt the remaining chapters served very little purpose other than to make the book a little longer. In a few weeks, I will likely skim and maybe read the Singles Edition.

One issue I had with this book was one Chapman didn't address at the extent I thought he should have. Because different people speak different love languages, a certain expression of love that might not be your primary language can mean more coming from a person for whom that expression is difficult than if that person acted within your primary love language. This might seem like an inconsequential issue, but, if I know that it is hard for someone to express him/herself through physical touch (he or she isn't a huggy person), I will recognize how much he or she must care about me if he or she gives me a warm hug. Now, I test low for physical touch being my love language; however, knowing another person's disposition would make that hug mean a lot more to me ("fill my love tank") than if a huggy person embraced me, or potentially even if that person had spoken my language.

I suppose my point is, while it is important for people to learn to express love for others in ways that speak to them in their own language, I didn't feel Chapman addressed the fact love is coming from another person and knowing what is more difficult for that person should mean a lot. Perhaps that wasn't addressed so much in this book, though, since it was written for married couples. I still feel that someone would value my hugs more than the gifts I give because those hugs are rarer than the gifts.

Consigliato!
E' un libro che mi ha fatto pensare molto riguardo alle relazioni mie ma anche delle persone che mi circondano. Credo che ognuno di noi deve leggerlo!

لطالما تساءلت لماذا ومع كل الجهد المبذول من احد الطرفين، يبقي الطرف الآخرغير مُقدرٍ لما يُعطى له بالشكل الكافي.. وفقط بعد قرائتي لهذا الكتاب أدركت الحقيقة. فكلٌ مِنا لديه لُغة الحُب الخاصة به والتي تساعد علي ملئ خزانه بشكل أسرع، علي عكس الأربع لغات الآخري.
كتاب مُفيد وملئ بالتجارب الحيّة .. حقًا أضاف لي الكثير.. وقد دوّنت العديد من الملاحظات والتي سأناقشها مع زملائي هذا الاسبوع ان شاء الله :)
جدير بالذكر أنه يُمكن للمرئ أن يمتلك أكثر من لغة، ولكن عند مُقارنتهم تجد أن هناك لغة مُعينة لها الأولوية بالنسبة لك.
كما أنه مُرفق اختبار لتحديد لغة الحب الخاصة بك، وقد وجدت ان لغتي الاولي هي الاتصال البدني، والثانية التشجيع :)
أنصح بقرائته قبل الدخول في أي علاقة تجنبًا للخسائر وتجنبًا لكلمة "ياريت" :D

سلس، واقعي، عملي.
وأفكاره لا تطبق على العلاقة بين الأزواج فقط؛ بل على العلاقات الإنسانية بشكل عام

Everyone has "the" relationship book. This book will NOT automatically solve all relationship problems. People have to want to work on things; have to want to communicate needs and expectations. Having said that, I have not seen a better way to tie in to your significant other's point of view, then trying to understand how THEY need to have love expressed. But even more importantly, maybe, is looking at ourselves and seeing how we automatically expect others to "get" love the way that we need to 'get' it. Which is simply not the way it works.

I was especially enlighted when Chapman talks about the difference between love as a "feeling" and love as an "action". The latter is what Christ is asking us to do.

I had previously read the "Peacegiver". These two books together would be an excellenet companion set.

n  “For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.

Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.” n

A valuable and insightful book that is worth reading.

It's been a while since I discovered the five concepts of love languages, but it was my partner during our early stages of dating who got me interested with the topic and looked for the author. I could say that at first it felt too bold as it requires knowing the other person's primary love language and also sharing one's own. And although it will not solve all of the problems in every marriage and intimate partnership, it provides wisdom and practical ideas on how to strengthen the very most important factor that revolves in all of the five love languages and in a healthy relationship: communication.

Each love language's concept is actually tricky, for it has a considerable amount of loopholes that can make it go wrong. But what made the book much easier to read and understand was that it provided examples that are realistic in the lives of couples, most of them grave and seemingly beyond mending. They were based from the author's experience as well as the couple he had encountered as a marriage counsellor.

Personally, I had fun reading the book. It has much deeper concepts than those articles I saw in the internet. I also knew that a person's love language can shift periodically, so it's actually really good to know all of them. It gives you not just lessons about how to act on your partner's needs, but also discovering what you actually need as a person in order to feel loved.

Recommended for anyone, whether it be single or in a relationship -- married or not.

When I finished reading this book yesterday, I thought the first 70% of the book wasn’t that bad. Hell, I can even go as far as to say that it had pretty good points for someone new to relationships.

Now that I’m writing this review, I don’t think I can hold back because the remaining part of this book is fucking trash and I have to talk about it!

If you’ve ever been in a relationship where there’s healthy communication, I think all the advice given by the author won’t sound so revolutionary. That's because you don’t have the fancy words to label the ways you show your love to your partner.

But, I don’t want to drag this book down completely as I feel that this has some good points in the beginning. “Love language” is a metaphor for the actions you take to show your love for your partner which results in a full love tank i.e. satisfaction in a relationship.

After the emotional high of love wears off AKA honeymoon phase of the relationship ends, it leaves us with the reality that the person we are with is not as perfect as we had once imagined. In this situation, we have to make efforts to sustain love and cultivate intimacy.

All of this is fine until the author ruins everything by attempting to save the relationship of a woman who has been abused. Using religion, he manipulates her to have sex with her husband (because his primary love language is physical touch). I’m not even exaggerating this. I found it wrong and vile.

If he had given the same advice to a man, I’d be angry too. But this is especially disgusting because, in many cultures and communities, women are told to just put up with the abuse or sweep it under the rug. I just cannot believe he gave this advice using such pleasant words.

It takes two to be in a relationship. It should be the decision of two people to make it work. If only one person is putting in efforts while the other person couldn’t care less, it’s best to give up because this is an unhealthy dynamic.

It was wrong on his part to give such advice to the vulnerable woman who was in a dilemma of whether she should stay with her abuser or leave. It just plays into the mentality that a good girl can fix a bad guy if she loves him enough. We should wonder about something else. Is the guy even worth loving? Short answer: No. Long answer: HELL NOOOOOO!

Secondly, he talks about how a relationship can be revived even after there has been sexual infidelity. I’m neither an expert in the field of dating and relationships nor have I read any research papers or statistics, but I feel there should be a line that cannot be crossed.

In my opinion, certain actions should be forbidden and considered the last straw in relationships for eg, cheating, abuse, and some other serious offenses (murder?).

I think aiming to make every relationship work by applying the love language rules is idealistic and unrealistic. Sometimes, people just aren’t compatible. There might be a hundred reasons for not being together. I don’t think all problems can be solved by applying the five simple rules.

All in all, read the first 70% of the book as it is sensible. For the rest, hurl the book out of the window and forget about it.

Preface

I read this when I was 17 years old for the first time. This is my second time reading it. This is the type of book/content that it is good to brush up on every couple years. It is never too much to make sure those you care about feel loved, which is the gist of the book.

There are 5 main love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

And from these there can emerge a thousand dialects. What does that mean? Well… it’s a lot like languages (

افضل ما في هذا الكتاب ثلاثة أشياء:
الأول: التركيز والتبسيط
اعتقد ان�� قد تنسى الكثير مما تقرأه وربما تنسى محتوى هذا الكتاب كذلك ولكن سيبقى عالقا في ذهنك على الاقل العناوين الرئيسية للغات الخمسة للحب (تكريس الوقت، كلمات التشجيع، تبادل الهدايا، الأعمال الخدمية، الإتصال البدني)ه
الثاني: التنظيم والترتيب
أثر فيّ هذا الكتاب بأن قام بعمل تنظيمي داخل عقلي .. فأنا أعرف كل المعلومات التي ذكرها الكاتب مسبقا وربما الكثيرون ايضا، ولكن ما فعله الكاتب هو ان رتب المعلومات الموجودة داخل رؤسنا ووضعها داخل أدراج خمسة بالعقل، يسهل الوصول اليها والتعامل معها وإستدعائها وقت الحاجه ..
ثالثا: صحة الفكرة
اذا تمعنت في التفكير وحاولت تطبيق ما قرأته عمليا على بعض الاشخاص حولك ستكتشف ان الكاتب محقا فكلنا نعبر عن الحب من خلال الخمس طرق الاساسية تلك على اختلاف تنويعاتهم وسجد أنك انت نفسك تفضل التعبير عن الحب باستخدام طريقة فضلا عن اخرى وهكذا .. إن معرفة لغة الحب الخاصة بشريكك تساعد على انجاح العلاقات بشكل كبير .. فالحب ليس مجرد اقوال ومشاعر مندفعه فحسب بل يستحق ما هو اكثر من ذلك، مزيد من التفكير والبحث والقراءة لتطويره والمحافظة على استمراريته

Ein kurzes Buch mit ganz viel Inhalt. Dabei ist der Inhalt eigentlich selbstverständlich, möchte man meinen. Man sollte seinem Partner zeigen, dass man ihn liebt und die Liebe nicht einschlafen lassen. Lob und Anerkennung, Zärtlichkeit und Hilfsbereitschaft gehören beispielsweise dazu. Eigentlich selbstverständlich, aber es ist gut und auch wichtig, sich dieses immer mal wieder ins Gedächtnis zu rufen. Dafür ist dieses Buch ideal; es regt zum Nachdenken und Reflektieren an.
Mir hat es sehr gut gefallen!

I found this book useful without being preachy and guilt ridden. Gary Chapman is a marriage genius. I felt like I was in couple's therapy without paying hundreds an hour. He used Jesus as an example once, for anyone avoiding religious text.

As we all know marriage is hard and it is a daily choice to love but after the honeymoon bliss is over can we still have a happy marriage? Did the other person suddenly change or did we change without thinking about it?

There's so much static in our daily lives; work, bills, kids, money, climbing the social ladder, other people, resentment, exhaustion etc. We start to take our relationship for granted and it starts to surface as anger and hate.

So in 5 steps you find your way toward a more loving, enjoyable partner bc of the way you love him. Chapman doesn't promise easy; he promises a happier emotional love tank which can make the marriage reborn.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
QUALITY TIME
RECEIVING GIFTS
ACTS OF SERVICE
PHYSICAL TOUCH

Which fills you up? Which fills them up?

Side note: I discovered WORDS OF AFFIRMATION makes me feel loved.

His first is: PHYSICAL TOUCH and second QUALITY TIME

Love is hard work. And, you need to understand what to do to please and show how much you love someone. This book shows you how to do it. People who are unwilling to change and try their best won't like it. But, if you are, read it.
When loving someone, do your best so you won't have any regrets in the future.
The ideas and concepts here aren't only for partners but will benefit any kind of relationship you have.