Community Reviews

Rating(4.1 / 5.0, 38 votes)
5 stars
16(42%)
4 stars
11(29%)
3 stars
11(29%)
2 stars
0(0%)
1 stars
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38 reviews
July 14,2025
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This is a typical Allender book,

where every sentence is truly remarkable and worthy of a lifetime of deep thought and reflection.

The author presents two fundamental questions that children commonly pose to their parents: "Am I loved?" and "Can I get my own way?"

These simple yet profound inquiries hold great significance and, as it turns out, we are all essentially asking the same questions of God.

Allender's work invites us to explore the depths of our own hearts and our relationship with the divine.

It challenges us to consider how we seek answers to these questions and how our understanding of love and sovereignty impacts our lives.

His words have the power to触动 our souls and lead us on a journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth.

Reading his book is not just an intellectual exercise but a transformative experience that can change the way we view ourselves, others, and God.

It is a must-read for anyone who desires a deeper understanding of the human condition and our connection to the divine.
July 14,2025
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As 2020 draws to a close,

I have completed one of the most underwhelming books that I picked up throughout the entire year.

This book had its moments of being entertaining and inspiring, especially towards the end when Allender delves into the significance of play.

Nevertheless, in my view, the author falls short catastrophically in developing and elaborating on the premise that was promised in the title: How God uses your children to develop you as a parent.

The author fails to explore this concept in a comprehensive and meaningful way, leaving the reader with a sense of dissatisfaction and unfulfilled expectations.

Overall, I would not highly recommend this particular title. It fails to deliver on its initial promise and leaves much to be desired in terms of depth and substance.
July 14,2025
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The author doesn't possess a "10 Step Plan" to become a better parent.

Instead, he shares with us several stories about the times when he made correct parenting decisions and those when he made mistakes.

I have just embarked on my parenting path, and I can already observe that in some situations, I am doing things correctly, while in others, I am making errors.

This has served as a great encouragement for me on how to proceed and improve.

It shows that parenting is not about following a set of rigid steps but rather learning from our own experiences, both good and bad.

By sharing his stories, the author gives us the confidence to keep going and to strive for better parenting skills.

We can take inspiration from his honesty and use it to reflect on our own parenting practices.

This way, we can continue to grow and become the best parents we can be for our children.

July 14,2025
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This book has its pros and cons.

Some parts of it are truly great, offering valuable insights and inspiration. However, there are also others that can be very frustrating, perhaps due to unclear explanations or ideas that don't quite resonate.

Despite this, overall, it is worth the time and effort invested. There really isn't much else out there like it.

It has been extremely helpful in provoking more intentionality in my approach to raising my children. It has made me think more deeply about how I can guide them and shape their character.

Moreover, it has also shown me how my children contribute GREATLY to my own sanctification. Their presence in my life challenges me to be a better person and to grow in my faith and values.

In conclusion, while this book may not be perfect, it has had a significant impact on my life and I would recommend it to others who are interested in personal growth and parenting.
July 14,2025
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One of my all-time favorite parenting books is truly a gem.

It took me quite some time to thoroughly read and absorb all the valuable insights and practical advice it offers.

The content is so rich and engaging that I find myself constantly reflecting on its teachings.

Now, I have this strong urge to start reading it again from the very beginning.

I believe that with each new reading, I will discover something new and gain a deeper understanding of the art of parenting.

This book has had a profound impact on my approach to raising my children, and I can't wait to explore it further and apply the wisdom I'll uncover.

It's not just a book; it's a companion on this wonderful journey of parenting.

I highly recommend it to all parents out there who are looking for inspiration and guidance.

July 14,2025
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It has been more than a year now, and yet I find myself still reading this piece bit by bit. The reason for this is simple: it is filled to the brim with such profound and wonderful thoughts. Each time I pick it up, I discover something new, something that makes me think deeper and view the world from a different perspective. The density of these good thoughts is like a rich treasure trove, waiting to be explored and mined. I am constantly amazed at how much wisdom and insight can be packed into these pages. It's not just a book or an article; it's a source of inspiration and a guide for my life. I know that I will continue to return to it again and again, savoring each word and allowing the ideas to soak into my soul.

July 14,2025
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This is a parenting book that is solidly encouraging, challenging, and helpful.

I had the opportunity to read and discuss this book with a group of parents, and we all truly appreciated the author's thoughts and ideas.

Basically, the author advocates for giving kids love and structure. Love is the foundation that allows children to feel secure and valued, while structure provides them with boundaries and guidelines for behavior.

Moreover, the author emphasizes the importance of taking advantage of your relationship with your child/ren to mature as a person. By interacting with our children, we can learn about ourselves, our strengths, and our weaknesses. We can also develop greater patience, empathy, and understanding.

This book offers practical advice and strategies for implementing these ideas in our daily lives as parents. It is a must-read for anyone who is interested in improving their parenting skills and building a stronger relationship with their children.
July 14,2025
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In 2010, I had the opportunity to read certain portions with Jaimie and Krissi.

It was an interesting experience as we delved into the text together.

These readings left a lasting impression on me.

Years later, in Scott Sauls' "Jesus Outside the Lines" on page 85, these readings were referenced.

This brought back memories of that time with Jaimie and Krissi.

It made me realize the significance of those moments and how they had influenced my understanding.

The reference in the book added another layer of depth to my recollection.

It made me think about how our discussions and readings had contributed to my growth and learning.

I am grateful for those experiences and the continued relevance they hold in my life.

July 14,2025
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A great framework for thinking about parenting is essential in today's complex world. Parenting is not just about providing food, shelter, and education to our children. It is about shaping their character, values, and beliefs.


A good parenting framework should include elements such as communication, discipline, and love. Communication is the key to building a strong relationship with our children. We need to listen to their thoughts and feelings, and express our own in a clear and respectful way.


Discipline is also important in parenting. It helps our children learn right from wrong and develop self-control. However, discipline should be administered with love and understanding, not with anger or harshness.


Finally, love is the foundation of a healthy parenting relationship. Our children need to feel loved and accepted unconditionally. When we show them love, they are more likely to grow up to be confident, happy, and successful individuals.


In conclusion, a great framework for thinking about parenting is one that emphasizes communication, discipline, and love. By following this framework, we can raise our children to be responsible, respectful, and loving members of society.
July 14,2025
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Allender delves into the profound concept that God employs our children as a means to "mature us" in Him.

He candidly admits that regardless of our sincerest efforts and good intentions, achieving the status of perfect parents is an unattainable goal. Indeed, failure is an inevitable aspect of the parenting journey.

However, the key lies in learning to attune our ears to the voices of our children, for they have the potential to direct us towards Christ.

This may not serve as a comprehensive and practical parenting manual by any means, yet it offers valuable food for thought.

As my children continue to grow and develop, I am certain that I will return to these ideas time and again, reflecting on their significance and seeking to apply them in my own parenting experience.

It serves as a reminder that parenting is not just about raising children, but also about our own spiritual growth and transformation.

July 14,2025
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It was a truly refreshing change of pace from the typical parenting book that is often filled to the brim with countless principles and detailed how-to's.

This particular book takes a different approach. It delves deep into addressing how your children have a profound impact on you. It emphasizes that they are not just recipients of your parenting efforts but are an integral part of God's story for your heart.

Just as you play a crucial role in shaping their lives and characters, they too have a significant influence on your spiritual and emotional growth.

This unique perspective offers a new way of looking at the parent-child relationship, one that is both enlightening and inspiring. It challenges parents to view their children not only as their own but as part of a greater divine plan.

By understanding this, parents can approach their parenting journey with a new sense of purpose and meaning, knowing that they are all part of something much bigger than themselves.
July 14,2025
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Parenting is a journey that is constantly evolving. It is not just about us shaping our children, but also about how their unique qualities and bents shape us.

When we look at our children with a fresh perspective, we begin to see the world through their eyes. Their curiosity, creativity, and individuality can inspire us to be better parents and better people.

There is so much wisdom and insight to be gained from observing and interacting with our children. We can learn from their mistakes, their successes, and their different ways of approaching life.

By being open to the influence of our children, we can create a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship with them. We can also discover new aspects of ourselves and grow as individuals.

So, the next time you look at your child, take a moment to appreciate their unique bent and how it is shaping you. You may be surprised at what you discover.
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