I started reading this book out of curiosity; it quickly became more. Strauss demonstrates throughout the book that he is not your average sex-obsessed PUA (pick-up artist) nor is he a sensationalist writer. He's taken a subject with a crude potential of 10 and made a meaningful piece out of it.

I'm struck by the similarities between PUAs and salesmen. I had to deal with many alpha salesman personalities in the lumber industry, so the PUA strategies were not unfamiliar: Demonstrating social value, yes-ladders, creating an emotional connection... translate these respectively to having a good reference, a good sales pitch and "shooting the shit" and you have an excellent sales manual. Through his analysis of socially dominant people, Mystery understands more than just how to pickup women: he understands how to attract people.

The conclusions Strauss draws about the importance of being oneself and acting in line with your core values (through reflection on the uber-analytical PUA Tyler Derton) are on point. He even begins yearning for permanence community (an emotion my age group, the 20-somethings, can readily identify with), and founds the rather twisted Planet Hollywood as a result.

Strauss gets a lot of concepts that my "20-something" struggles with, a self-identification that contributes to my liking the book so much. But, especially towards the end of the book, Strauss mounts the saddle of a very high horse (haha this review thing is fun!). He presents himself as the anchor of Planet Community, the calm in the storm, the stereotypically steadfast protagonist wading through the world's chaos. Regardless of whether this is true, the distasteful presentation left a bitter taste in my mouth and I can't help thinking that his writer's lens is foggy from all that action he's been getting.


~EN


Further psychological analyzing:

Frogs Into Princes, Richard Bandler and John Grinder. These two guys appear in the book as mysterious gurus who see a jedi in Strauss and teach him "the force", imploring him to use it only to make women happy (great power comes with great responsibility, right??). Their method of reading body queues and hypnotism is outlined here, the original and probably still greatest work on Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP).

I remember this book making a little splash on the internet when it came out. The book had some glaring errors in its writing that either needed an editor or a better editor. The story was interesting enough but how much of it was true will likely never be known. There are some big gaps to the story that never get answered.

What made the book retroactively lame was the author’s erratic way that he handled the reaction to it. At first he tried to own the controversy that surrounded it, which probably was the best way to handle it. Then he tried cashing in with being part of a trashy reality TV show on VH1 and another book about this whole thing. Then finally he pretended like he was Jane Goodall to the pick up artist community’s chimpanzees. James Bond infiltrating this society of turbonerds who treated picking up women like it was a plug n’ chug mathematical equation. I don’t think he fooled anyone with this approach but it was a shameful copout nevertheless.

This book represents an interesting capsule in time known as “frat lit,” books designed in the mid 2000s to appeal to young men that were cynically claimed to be true stories but fell apart under any scrutiny. Another example is I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, from serial grifter and liar Tucker Max.

With a subtitle like “Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists,” I was expecting more of a how-to or an expose. Luckily I was wrong.

Strauss’ The Game is a fascinating look at an American subculture’s moment in time. It is a captivating story that rivals Hell’s Angels and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test in its engrossing tale of American hubris, endeavor, success, and failure.

The book itself is beautiful, packaged like a bible with gold embossing and a red ribbon bookmark. But it is TOO LONG. And that might be the only thing I didn’t like about it because despite that, there is plenty to keep the reader entertained:

As Strauss refines his abilities as a PUA (Pick-up Artist (this book not for the AFoH (Acronym Faint of Heart))), he is assigned an interview with Tom Cruise (other celebrities who make appearances include Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Courtney Love). Strauss is immediately taken by Tom Cruise’s charisma and likability. Strauss notes that Cruise naturally exudes all the tactics and behaviors PUAs spend months and years trying to master in order to win women’s affection. Tom Cruise introduces Strauss to Scientology and Strauss further identifies the same tactics being used by Scientology recruiters to attract converts as the PUAs use to attract women. There are some really creepy similarities made between Pick-up Artists and Scientologists in this book. So now I don’t know if I’m more freaked out by Scientologists or Mormons.

And now that I have read The Game, once I read How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read, there won’t be a graduate student out there who can resist my advances. Yes!

But most importantly, The Game contains the BLE (Best Line Ever):

“I want a woman I can respect for her art, like a singer or a super-hot stripper.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Gents, next time you head out for the titty bar, tell your significant other that you’re going to an art museum. It is her art and she is dancing it for you.

And there was also this little nugget of wisdom from Neil Strauss that I found interesting:

“For most of their childhood, females are conditioned to act subservient to male authority figures. Once they grow up, a certain subset of them - many of whom end up in Los Angeles - move through the world psychologically stunted, constantly dumbing themselves down in the presence of the opposite sex. They believe that the techniques they used to manipulate their fathers will work just as well on the rest of the world, and often they’re right.”

Poor Britney.

Caution, this isn't a self-help book about how to pick up women.

Instead, this is an honest well-written autobiography of a formerly nerdy writer/journalist who tried and succeeded to fill his lack of social skills by learning tricks to connect with people. The opposite sex in particular.

He investigates a group of 'pick-up artists'. These are boys like you and me who think too much and have a barrier of insecurity towards other people. They break it down by engineering and using comforting formulas, which have been tested and successful. Almost like computer programming.
With this I don't want to say women are easy to figure out. I think it's more a case of providing a reassuring guide and structure which makes the goal look more attainable. Men need this. This way they lose their fear to fail and get valuable experience during this trial & error. The self-assured approach is half the battle. It's good to know what most women their favorite subjects, feelings and values ('chick crack') are, but in the end, it's more important to realize that a confident leading man with a plan will always seem the most attractive. That's a simple fact. Off course you also need to practice patience and understanding.

When you use these expert advices in the 'field', women will listen and consider you as a possible match. Now, the important part is, like Neil Strauss also clearly states, that after you have build some kind of self-confidence and ability to not take everything serious, you can slowly put your own self in your approach to strangers and make really interesting connections. Have relationships, you never would have expected to happen. The ultimate goal is to bring the right people together, instead of marrying the first girl that pays attention to you.

Sadly, there are also social robots like 'Tyler Durden', who use people and are absolutely pathetic.
But this is the story of Neil Strauss, who gets my five stars not only because he is a super likeable, sensitive and intelligent man of great understanding but also a wonderful writer.

Hopefully I myself can use some of his tricks and knowledge to open a conversation with an interesting girl without making it too awkward.
I learned a lot about women, love and sex and must say I would never want to become a 'Pick-Up Artist', and I think that's exactly what Neil Strauss wanted to express with his story.

There is nothing to hate over here.

I was convinced that I would hate The Game when I first picked it. I was, in fact, on my high horse looking for a book to hate. I can be machiavellian in this way: I look for books to despise just to balance things out at times. Immersed in my own sense of rationality, I was collecting my own evidences to add weight to the generally acclaimed judgements that, "men are full of shit", "men are dogs" or that "men only want sex".

Quite paradoxically, The Game has entertained me so much that I have ended loving it. Maybe, Neil Strauss' Game and enchantments have worked on me ? Haha, so I believe! This book has been way too much fun; so much fun, that the faint inner FemCom side of me was left confused and to feel slightly guilty. I can only pacify that side of me, and all the rest, with the thought that women want sex as much as men, but the way we proceed at it is different; and, it is exactly at this intersection that The Game wins its relevance.

I can only imagine this book to be useful to my nerdiest single friends, who as victims of their own vulnerabilities, have struggled, or are still struggling with pickups. In my perspective, pickups are extremely important an early age at least, to keep that confidence lit. Not only a social skill, but it is as well an art. After reading this book, and also from my entourage, I openly agree that it does massively contribute to the self-esteem and personal satisfaction. No need for me to revisit the details, but it is biological; or the least chemical - if the hormones are active enough.

Of course, there is much more to life than just sex. But, if I compartmentalise matters properly, and responsibly point the finger on the contents of this book, we are talking about The Game here; and, like the book so rightfully begins "Don't hate the player, hate the game". Pondering about the book now, I have absolutely loved Neil Strauss' candid way of sharing the crazy experiences he has been through as a Pickup Artist. My two favourite moments from the book are, his encounters with Britney Spears and Courtney Love. I still have that cheeky smile when I think about that.

Little did I know that, picking girls up, can be such a struggle for men. No, I was not aware about the constant torment or the inner battle that they could go through, really; and this too, not even for intercourse, but for a simple date! Funnily, I do admit that this book has opened my horizons for sure, because I have barely considered how it could be for the other. I have not had any reason to think about it either, but I am glad to have opened myself up to a new perspective.

The rules of The Game demonstrated along the book such as "Neg"or "Sarge" were hilarious. Again, I can unfortunately find their power to exude successful pickups when I mix it to the psychology of things. It , however, leaves me thinking whether those rules would still apply now. I would like to question the extent to which they are timeless given the inclining number of social movements these days, where to put it bluntly, with the advent of social media, people have become overly sensitive and are offended as fast as light.

I guess that I would not really know as I am passed the age for The Game. I am eager to hear your views though :)

I had two feelings after reading this:

1. I found it interesting to read what was in the mind of a player and learned many things as to why a lot of women like "bad boys".

2. Women need to be smarter and realize that "nice guys" would treat them a lot better. Otherwise they will just be treated as sex objects waiting for jerks to pounce on them.

This book is super weird. It's both interesting and gross. Like rubbernecking.

The book starts heavy on the gross side by following a group of sad pickups artists that basically gamify the ability to pick up women with great success. It's a little rapey though the author repeatedly gives women a chance to back out of any sexual contact and gives the "target" women a chance to say no or leave. But the rapey tactics include (from least to most): deception, psychological tricks, and hypnosis (?!).

But then the book starts to interest us in the individuals' problems and neuroses. Plus all the psychology is interesting even if I spitefully don't want it to be. The author also dishes on a number of celebrities he met while working his regular journalism job during this time period. Then, the book keeps going and going. It's too long.

So as the whole Incel and mens rights groups are gaining attention, I kept hearing about pick up artists. I honestly thought the term meant freelance artists that you could hire? Maybe street performers? I googled it and lo and behold...I came to this book. And gross. I mean, it's a super interesting book. The premise is that there are a bunch of pathetic men out there whose main goal in life is to pick up women so they spend all their time cracking "the code" and then they teach each other in online forums and workshops. They use hyponosis and a whole bunch of creep-ass stuff like: Pulling hair, smelling girls, telling fortunes, and then insulting them. I imagine there's a whole slew of hot and really insecure women hanging out in bars that then go home with these guys. And these men feel more manly. Then they do it again and again until they crack up or go join a kibutz. No joke. That's where they all end up.

Strauss is not an objective observer. He's sort of a self-absorbed douche like the rest of them except apparently at the end, he falls in love with a really hot girl and breaks up with the other 10 he was dating all at the same time. No wonder they all become misogynists and incels and end up carrying around tiki torches denouncing women and immigrants. Their whole premise is that they are gods and they have the right to dominate all non-alpha men and women.

I got this book recommended by my sisters ex husband. I was fifteen and he told me it was the best book on ... I don't remember, maybe the psychology of mating?? I believed him because he was a double doctorate in both social psychology and system science...

In retrospect I shouldn't have listened to a guy who did not know how to wash his own underwear. Being fifteen learning how people will love you if you pretend to be someone you're not is not the healthiest thing one can go through. If you read this book as a guide on how to 'get' ladies you will likely become a) a sad creep b) a sad looking creep c) sad.

I can only recommend this book to someone with the mental fortitude not to get affected by the "tips" in the book. If you want to read it, read it as an anthropologist, explore this weird universe like you're on captain Nemos submarine.

also - If you're on the autism-spectra and want a book to help with interactions. THIS IS NOT IT.

This book is primarily about this dude Mystery, who is the host of a VH1 show The Pickup Artist, where he shows really socially inept guys how to pick up girls. This is the FUNNIEST BOOK in the history of mankind. If you are a computer geek of any kind, you will die laughing while reading this book.

Mystery is a young computer nerd living with his parents in Toronto. He spends all day online posting to message boards about how he is awesome picking up girls, but when he's not posting online, he is playing computer games or looking at internet porn. To get out of the house, he starts giving seminars in picking up girls around the world from people who follow his posts on the internet. In some crazy world we live in, Mystery builds a whole real business out of doing this, gets out of his parents house, and after this book is over, actually gets his own reality TV show out of his internet posts. Today, Mystery's disciples charge $5000 a workshop to teach his method for picking up girls.

If it wasn't real, you wouldn't believe it actually happened.

READ THIS BOOK.

One of those rare occasions when I abandon a book.

Very interesting! I learnt a lot about the psychology between men and women and was given more confidence to talk with strangers at bars etc